Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Happy Friday!  Yes, it’s THAT time of the week again.  And, as usual, it’s come around waaay too quickly.

It’s been a ‘difficult’ week this week.  I was of the impression during the Easter weekend, that I had been turned into Super Woman …. and consequently did a little more than my body is currently designed for.  Me body went on strike!  How very dare it!  It’s partially still on strike, but I’m hoping that me pretending to be fine and groovy will kick it into action again and we’ll be rocking and rolling as per usual very soon.

Well, as well as learning that I’m not Super Woman – which was a great .. no … HUGE disappointment to me,  I’ve also learned one or two other things, and I’m here to share them with you, so that you can be as educationamalised as what I is.  As what I am.  As what I woz?  As what I’m now?  As what…  erm….  As what you should be?

As you will be after reading this post.  (phew … that was touch and go there for a minute!) lol  😊

Ok .. let’s get going, shall we?

I learned this week, after watching a TV special, that there is rather a swish hotel in Marrakech which I’d really LOVE to visit.  It’s the most beautiful, (if not the best) hotel in the whole world.  It’s called:  The Royal Mansour,  and I know that I couldn’t do it anywhere near justice in describing it here, but boy oh boy I wish I could share the programme with you.

It was commissioned by King Mohammed VI, who often hosts his guests in its 53 private riads, which are situated in almost four hectares of fragrant Moorish gardens.

It has 53 two-storey villas which are set in beautiful, manicured gardens which have lily ponds and fountains dotted around them.  Privacy is at a premium there and even staff scurry between salon, pool and private patio via a network of subterranean passages, silently and almost unnoticed.  Each of the staff is so well-trained, and follow the ‘rules’ and guidelines of the hotel to the letter.  Service is impeccable and hyper-discreet.

Above ground, opulence is the name of the game.  Rooms are strewn with suede and silk carpets, velvet brocade sofas and crystal do-dads and chandeliers from Lalique, Baccarat and Venice.  breathtakingly beautiful, and if there, you’d have to throw yourself into its opulence or you’d feel out-of-place and possibly even alienated.

When there, the Villa you’ll rent is assigned 10 staff, to serve you with everything you could possibly need.  Silver Service meal?  You got it.    One, two and three bedroom villas are available, all with roof terraces shaded by a Bedouin tent and private patio plunge pools.  In addition to lavishly decorated bedrooms finished in the most exquisite detail, each villa has a salon with an open fireplace and a dining room.  You wouldn’t need to leave the hotel … in fact, you probably won’t want to.  They have everything you need right there.  Even a large library!

I’ve worked out that from where I live, I could take a flight to Marrakech and be there in just under four hours, and I’d pay roughly £190 for flight for a two day break.  Ok ..  this seems do-able … so far.    From my research, I’ve learned that the best time to visit is between March and May when the roses are in bloom and the days fresh and sunny.  So, right now would be a great time!  Things are looking hopeful!

I’ve been on the website ... and ‘pretended’ to book just a two night stay, from Sunday (23rd April) to Tuesday (25th April) and …. THEY HAVE A VILLA AVAILABLE!!!   Ohhhh this is looking so hopeful now!  (I just have to talk Mr. Cobs around to this idea … but I could ‘sell’ it to him because our 36th Wedding Anniversary is coming up in a few short weeks ….  ok … now I’ll go and check out how much this would cost (I have to protect the moths in his wallet from shock!)…  ok… it’s telling me that it will cost 27,198.00 but that’s in Moroccan Dirham, so now I have to work out what that means in British Pounds … hang on right there while I get that sorted out.

Now see, here’s the problem.  Cobs the Bogeyman doesn’t like anything costing over the amount of loose change he has in his pockets, so talking him into a two night stay at this lovely place, with just breakfast included (the man LOVES his stomach so breakfast alone won’t keep him going), is going to send his blood pressure up the scale and probably burst the blood pressure machine  …  for this will cost £2,119.45 for just two nights, plus the travel costs.  And what’s more … that’s the cheapest quote.  If I go for the luxury package for two … it would cost:  £10,920.55 for a two night stay, again with only breakfast included in that price.  In US dollars, that equates to: $13982.67.

I don’t think that two night stay is ever going to happen!

It’s a truly magnificent place.  If you’d like to check it out, I give you the link to their website.  Have a good look around and check out all of the various different Riads.  There are five of them altogether.  The Royal Mansour Hotel

I also have a link to the programme … but I don’t think it will work for those of you outside the UK, as it’s a BBC programme … but you could give it a try and see, just in case!  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08n8xhb

I also learned this week more about Pandora’s Box than I knew before.

Pandora’s box is an origin myth – which basically means the attempt to explain the beginning of something.

People have always wanted to know why things happen in the world the way they do. Before there was ‘science’, they didn’t have much understanding of how the world works, but they still wanted to know,  just as much as we do.  Human curiosity always asks why .. and then human creativity finds ways of giving an answer.

The story of Pandora and her box comes from Ancient Greece and is very old. Because of this, there are several versions of the myth.

Pandoras Box

Pandora trying to close the lid on the box that she had opened out of curiosity. On the left are the evils of the world who are taunting her as they escape. The engraving is based on a painting by F. S. Church

In Greek mythology, Pandora (meaning ‘all-giving’) was the first woman on earth.  Before humans there were the immortals (the Gods and Titans). The brothers, Prometheus and Epimetheus were Titans (Giant people) who had fought on the Gods’ side in a war. Some say they were cousins of Zeus, King of the Gods; he asked Prometheus to create man out of clay and water (in many versions Hephaestus helps in this).  Epimetheus had to create the animals and give them their gifts of courage, swiftness etc.  He gave out all the gifts and had none left for Man.  So Prometheus decides to make man stand upright, like the gods, and give them fire (which Zeus did not want them to have – some say he had removed it as a punishment).  So Prometheus stole fire – some say from Zeus’ lightning, others from the sun and yet others from Hephaestus’ forge.

In classical Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on Earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create her.  So he did, using water and earth.  The gods endowed her with many gifts: Athena clothed her,  Aphrodite gave her beauty,  Apollo gave her musical ability, and Hermes gave her speech.

According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus.  Pandora opens the box containing death and many other evils,  which were then released into the world.  She hastens to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – Elpis  (translated as ‘Hope’,  though it could also mean ‘Expectation’).

In the original Greek stories it was a jar and did not become a box until the Sixteenth century AD.

A scholar called Erasmus, who lived in Rotterdam in Holland, translated a story of Pandora from Hesiod’s work. Hesiod was a Greek poet who lived about 700BC. Erasmus was translating the Greek into Latin (which scholars did all their writing in, in those days) and translated the Greek word ‘pithos’ meaning jar into the Latin word ‘pyxis’ meaning box. And a box it has stayed to this day!

Waterhouse's, Pandora, 1896)

Pandora, 1896, by John William Waterhouse

The myth arose as a way of explaining why dreadful things happened, such as people getting sick and dying.

As in many origin myths,  man had lived in a world without worry – until this jar/box was opened, which contained ills for mankind.  Zeus knew that Pandora’s curiosity would mean that she could not stop herself from opening it, especially when he had told her that she must not do so!

You can read more herehttps://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/pandoras-box-myth/

I also learned this week:  that the iconic ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ posters were never used in wartime.

And ….  That Gorillas can be put on the pill.  (But why would they want to be?)

That the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary is ‘tattarrattat’.  James Joyce used it in Ulysses: ‘I knew his tattarrattat at the door.’

The second man to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, Bobby Leach, survived the fall but later died as a result of slipping on a piece, of orange peel.  (forgive me … but I did have a little chuckle at the irony . . .  until I gave myself a stern talking to.)

I also learned ….  that at the end of August this year, it will be 20 years since the death of Princess Diana.  This shocked the heck out of me, for it really doesn’t seem like 20 years ago.

So … has your brain exploded with all this new information?  I certainly hope not.  The only reason mine is still going is because I learnt all this over a period of 7 days … where-as you are learning it over a coffee, and that’s a lot of new information to deal with all at once.

Well  … you’re here not only for the edumacation … I know you’re also here for a handful of jokes … so pin back your lugholes … we’re going in!!

The Jokes!

How do you throw a party in outer space?  . . . . You planet

Why is the letters  ‘P’  a pirates’ favourite letter of the alphabet?  . . . .  Because without it they are irate.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark street.  One of them is assaulted.

What did the bra say to the hat? . . .   You go on ahead. I’ll give these two a lift.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican magician who told the audience he was going to disappear on the count of three?  . . .  A: He said, “Uno…dos…” then vanished without a tres.

Q: You know why you shouldn’t go to the bathroom next to a Pokemon? . . .  A: Because he might Pikachu.

Q: If you’re American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom?  . . .  A: European.

and finally …  a little helping of Grandad jokes, for you to share with your Grandad, or, if you’re a Grandad yourself … to make you smile.  (or… if you’re a Grandma – pass them on!)…

Grandad is always complaining about how much things cost.  “£3.50 for a cup of tea!”,  “£1.50 for two custard cream biscuits!” ….  so I told him:  “Look Grandad, you just popped round.  I didn’t invite you!”

(give that one chance to sink in before you move on). lol

Grandad was remembering the days when “everyone could leave their back doors open …  which is probably why his submarine sank.

Grandad died, and we didn’t get chance to say goodbye Which was all the more poignant because he drowned in a bowl of Cheerios.

Tell your friends!  I’m here all week.  😀  [drums heard in the distance]  badabum!!

All that’s left for me to do now is wish you a fabulous Friday, and a truly wonderful weekend.

May the weather be mild and may each hour of each day bring you something to be thankful for.

Have a blessed day my friends.  Be good to each other.

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Things I’ve learned this week.

Hello, and HAPPY FRIDAY!  Today isn’t just the 14th of April, here in the UK.  Today is also Good Friday.

For those who might not know:  Good Friday is a Christian holiday to commemorate, or remember and give great respect to,  the event which we know as the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and his death at Calvary,  which is told in the Christian bible.

I hope your week has been a good one, and that if any gremlins got into any of your days, you were able to scoot around them and play them at their own gremlin games.

My week has been ….  interesting.  Let me explain.

I learned YET AGAIN this week that the minute I go out and buy new nail polish …. I break a nail.  However this week, I bought THREE new nail polishes.  I wonderful deep wine colour, a fabulous nude colour and a lovely nut colour.  Three ….  now this alone SHOULD have told me what was about to happen…  but I just didn’t listen to what the universe was trying to tell me.

Well …  my hands, fingers and more importantly my nails, were all plotting against me and the day after I bought said nail varnishes … I broke not one but two fingernails. The next day I broke another fingernail and a thumb nail.  After that … the whole of my ‘nail world’  took a massive trip south, and I broke every single nailI now look like I have never had nice hands and wouldn’t know them if they poked me!   Hmpftttt!

I learned about these things this week too …

Coyotes in the United States have learnt how traffic lights work so that they can cross the road safely.  Yes.  Seriously!  (I know!  It made me smile from ear to ear too!) lol.

Franz Liszt was the first musician to have women’s underwear thrown at him.

Elvis (and this one blew me away...)…  was born with blonde hair.  His hair began to darken in his teens and by the age of 22, his hair colour was dark chestnut.

Echidna

An Echidna.  (photograph credit Australia Zoo)

A baby echidna is called a ‘puggle’.  (Isn’t that just one of the nicest words to say?  Try it;  “Puggle”.  It has a kind of in-built giggle).

Puggle

…  and this …  is a Puggle.  (photo credit:  Australia Zoo).

And on moving on from ‘cute’, and turning to …. well,  this:

I learned that in 2013, in Turkey, thieves stole an entire 22 tonne,  82 foot metal bridge overnight.   Yes, no joking!  It was the village’s main bridge over a local creek.

According to the Turkish publicationToday’s Zaman’, the dumbfounded villagers, who needed the bridge to reach their orchards, alerted police about the theft.  Police suspected that thieves dismantled the 82-ft.-long span to sell it as scrap metal — probably for about $12,000 at that time.

Aww … and this tickled me:

The very first armoured presidential car was a Cadillac that had previously belonged to  . . . .   –  wait for it  –  . . .   Al Capone.  (Al Capone – Used Furniture Dealer – as we’ve previously discussed!).

al-capone

If you are of a sensitive nature and don’t like any descriptive discussion regarding the mating of animals,  PLEASE skip the next fact:

We talked, a couple of weeks ago, about Ladybirds mating.  Now I’m going to edumacate you regarding bees…

Male bees – ‘drones’  – are happy to leave the business of the hive to the female workers,  leaving them free to pursue their sole vocation:  mating with the queen. Most of them are frustrated in this ambition, and those that make it die in the act.  After the lucky drone has caught the queen and mounted her,  he explodes with an audible pop as he ejaculates.  He then falls off the Queen Bee, usually leaving a portion of his phallus behind him.

And a little more Bee information which I’ve learned this week  (this time it’s not about s.e.x.):

Some bees literally shake pollen out of flowers by humming very loudly at them. Rapid muscle contractions produce forces of up to 30G – about three times the force of a fighter jet making a tight turn  – and the vibrations dislodge pollen grains from a flower’s anthers, in a process called ‘buzz pollination‘ or ‘sonication‘.  Honeybees don’t do it, but bumblebees and many others do;  various economically important plants, including kiwi fruits, blueberries and cranberries, are pollinated in this way.

Fascinating, eh?

More throw away little bits of interesting things I learned this week …

The chairman of a company is four times more likely to be a psychopath than the doorman.

China gets a new skyscraper every five days.

In 1999, more than 3,000 people were hospitalised after . . .  tripping over a laundry basket!  (I kid ye not!)

And finally, on our voyage of fascinating facts …  just to spoil your Easter of chocolate eating . . .

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.  A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

And now … the reason you’re really here ….

THE JOKES!

What did one eye say to the other eye?  Between the two of us, something smells.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?   Don’t worry. He’s completely recovered.

What did the Ocean say to the boat?  Nothing, it just waves

What happens when you throw a white hat into the red sea?  . . . . .  It gets wet

What did the banana say to the hippo? . . . . Nothing, Bananas don’t talk

How do you light up a Tennis Stadium? . . . . With a good match.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? . . . It just let out a little wine.

and finally

here’s one for my favourite Chicken …. (Chicken Grandma)

What do you call a chicken at the north pole?  . . .  Lost

😀

Well that’s it …. well no, actually … that’s almost it.  I have a letter I need to post:

Dear Toys R Us I’ve had to visit my nearest store three times during the past week, and not once has any member of your staff smiled, acknowledged me by looking me in the eye when making an enquiry, or even looked at me when I made a purchase.  You need to do some staff retraining and possibly show your staff that they’re important to you so that they know that WE are important to you too.  I shall be writing more about this directly to you,  Trust Me.  ~  A furrowed brow customer, Cobs.

Ok … I’ve run to the post office and posted that, so all that’s left to do is to say a BIG THANK YOU to you for coming and having a coffee with me.  I so love seeing you here, all crowded around the kitchen table, laughing, chatting and just having a bit of fun.  Such a great feeling.

I wish you a lovely Friday, followed by a truly fantabulous weekend.  Do something different this weekend.  Go somewhere you haven’t been before.  Read a book you’ve been meaning to read.  Make a phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.  Tell someone how much you enjoy their company,  or appreciate them for _____   ….  well whatever it is you appreciate them for.

Make yourself happy, and make someone else happy.  It’s important.

Sending big Easter Squidges, from me here in my corner, to you there in yours.

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Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Hello, good morning and …. HAPPY FRIDAY!

I don’t know about you, but Fridays give me this funny little feeling somewhere between my tummy button and my … erm … my uhm  …  chest. (phew – that was touch and go there for a minute).  It’s an odd sort of feeling,  like my body is having a quiet giggle to itself.  A cross between a giggle and a tickle – but right inside me.  In the centre of my body.  Funniest little feeling.  Nice one though.

Aww … hush up Cobs.  Get on with the post already!

Right .. you’re here to read about how I’ve had my edumacation improved this week, so without further ado, I shall plunge straight in and get on with it.

This week I learned . . . that Liechtenstein is a tiny, doubly landlocked country tucked away between Switzerland and Austria.  It owes much of its wealth to its traditional status as a tax haven, though it has in recent years taken steps to shake off its image as a tax haven and to reposition itself as a legitimate financial centre.

However …  do you know that Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in  _______.   If you don’t know the answer to that …. have a guess.  Think about the country.  Think about where it is.  Imagine what you think that Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in.  Just take a wild guess.

Vaduz Castle, overlooking the capital, is home to the Prince of Liechtenstein

Let’s see if you guessed correctly shall we?  In actual fact, Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in  —>left click on your mouse and hold the click as you drag your cursor over this blank spot here —>FALSE TEETH<—  😀   If you’re anything like me you’ll have guessed that it would be some sort of speciality Beer.  But no…  such a beautiful place with such romantic feel about it – who could have guessed that fact?  lol

If you’d like to learn a little more about this enchanting place you can read more here:  The Spectator – Liechtenstein  the link will open up in another page for you.  If when the page loads, it asks you to ‘join up’ to their site, either close that smaller window or simply click back, then click forward and the Spectators efforts to get you to sign up will disappear so that you can read.

Now thenwhat else have I learned this week?….  ohhhhh… I know…

I learned this week that when you have a plan,  the world laughs at you and makes other plans just to see how you handle the new stuff which life has thrown at you.

My craft room is all set up in our converted garage.  The whole thing was already converted when we bought the cottage – so it seemed to be fate that brought us to it.

It took about a year before we were able to set up the room properly so that I could craft in it.  (we had to do renovations to the cottage after we bought it).  And I love it in there.  However … I did have to make a teensy bit of room for our washing machine.  But it’s located at the other end of the room, away from where I sit, so I didn’t bother too much about it.  BUT … this week it suddenly began making the most dreadful noise when it started to spin.  BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!  It got louder too.

So scared was I that I picked up the phone and called Mr.Cobs (he was in the cottage – our phones can call each other – so my phone in the garage can, at the press of a button, call the phone in the house.  It works!.  When Himself answered the phone I had to shout to hear myself talk….  “come to the craft room QUICK!”,   I was scared silly that the Washing Machine was going to suddenly blow up!

Well, shortening the tale … the Washing Machine has gone to Washing Machine Heaven.  So .. a new machine was found, delivery arranged, payment was made AT GREAT EXPENSE I might add!,  (I hope this new machine makes me my coffee, I’m telling you!).  Then Mr.Cobs said he’d have to get the old machine out, ready for the men to make delivery of new machine, and take old machine away with them.  And that’s where the trouble started.

It sounded like such a simple thing – remove old washing machine, make space for new one.  Oh. My. Goodmiss!  I hadn’t quite realised that there was a small(ish) Ikea unit which although not ‘in front’ of our old machine … it was enough in front, to stop the machine moving fully out of its position.  So that unit had to be moved.  Which meant that a whole load of stuff on the unit had to move, and then all the stuff which was on top of the unit had to be moved … and well, shortening the tale even further … a mess the size of a volcano happened.  I haven’t been able to work at my desk(s) all week.  I decided that since we’d got that unit out, then perhaps the best thing would be to re-site it and attach it to the sewing desk, so that the unit wouldn’t be in the way.

I won’t bore you with the jiggling which happened after that, but suffice to say … I could, at 7.30pm on Thursday night (yesterday) finally see a bit of my desk again.    So from all this I learned …  That I rather envied my Grandmother and how she told me about she used to do the washing for her growing family …. in a ‘dolly tub’ in the back garden.  BRING BACK THE DOLLY TUB!  It’s cheaper, and it doesn’t break down!

Credit: East Cleveland Image Archive

I also learned this week:  in quick, ‘bullet’ form ….

That . . .  80% of food has sugar added to it.

That . . .  Wasps must wear ‘uniforms’ by smearing themselves with wax from their nest, and then on their return, fellow wasps recognise they are from the same colony and accept them in.

That . . .  Mark Twain invented and patented the bra-strap clasp.  I kid ye not.  This really is true.

That . . .   Abulia is the word for the inability to make decisions.

A musophobist is a person who distrusts poetry.  As someone who will make up a bit of silly poetry at the drop of a hat – this was a real upset to me!

Depp means ‘twit’ in German.  This kind of upset me for a moment, because I used to have rather a soft spot for Johnny Depp …  but then I outgrew him so no longer upset.  🙂

The first commercial chewing gum appeared in 1871, after Thomas Adams had failed to make car tyres from the same ingredients.  Yes … that stopped me in my tracks too when I learned that.

The Pantone colour chart has 104 shades of grey.  So that means  *that fellow*  in  *that ’50 shades’ book*  was well below par.  (snigger I’m so glad that I didn’t read it.

and finally . . .

Male Ladybirds can spend up to four hours mating with a dead female before realising something is wrong.  Ok… I’m going to stand up and admit that I actually laughed.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry to the Men Ladybirds.  I don’t think I meant to find that funny … but … well … it just kinda snuck up on me and before I knew it I was giggling like a schoolgirl.  (And each time I think of it, I start giggling all over again).  I don’t know why it tickles the heck out of me …  well, maybe I do…  but I’m not going to say.  Let’s just say that I apologise.  (and yes…. I’m giggling right now too).

I’ve learned rather a lot this week.  How I’ve managed to remember all of it so that I can share it with you, is way out of my understanding.  But I’m so glad that I did.  (Especially so the Lady(man)bird one.  LOLOL.  [now stop it Cobs.  Behave yourself!  tsk tsk.]

Well there’s only enough time for some jokes now, so I’d better get on with it….  ready?  OK.. let’s go!

Why did the bicycle fall over?  . . . Because it was two tired!

Why did the prune go out with the raisin?  . . .  They couldn’t find dates!

Did you hear about the corduroy pillow?  . . .   It made the headlines.

Why do they call them light bulbs?  …  Because they don’t weigh very much.

What’s red and looks like a bucket? . . .  A red bucket.

What’s blue and smells like red paint?  . . .  Blue paint

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?  . . . A carrot

Why does Beethoven hate chickens? . . .  Because all they ask for is Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach.

and finally . . .

What is Beethoven up to now? . . . Decomposing.

I did say that we could talk more about Time Travelling this week … but I ran out of …..  lol.

Truth is, I think I’ve talked more than enough, so I’m going to shut up and give your brain a rest.

Also ….  My apologies to all the crafters out there, because I haven’t shared anything crafty with you this week.  Having had my craft room turned upside down hasn’t helped with any crafty endeavours  … but …  I’m filled with ideas for what I want to do, so I’ll try to be back next week with something lovely to look at.

I have a busy weekend coming ….  I’m hosting Little Cobs Birthday Party in our cottage.  I’ve been busy ordering, buying, finding and all manner of things.  So I’m really looking forward to his party on Saturday (tomorrow).  All I have to remember to do before then is find half an hour to wrap his gifts, instead of realising ten minutes before the party starts, that I haven’t wrapped them!  eeeek! 

So … what about you?  Do you have anything planned for this weekend?  Do share.  I’d love to hear about what you’re up to in your corner of the world.

Whatever you’re doing, may you find happiness and joy.  May the weather be what you’d like it to be, and may love enter your life softly, gently, and leave footprints on your heart.  Be good to each other, and . . . may your God go with you.

Brightly woven, cobwebby squidges, to you in your corner, from me in mine  ~

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Blue Sky Tag Award Nomination

Mrs. Craft of: craftandothercrazyplans  totally made my day by nominating me for this ‘Blue Sky Tag’ award.  Thank you Mrs.Craft.  I’m truly honoured and totally cock-a-hoop at being bestowed such a lovely award.  It sort of lets me know that I must be doing  OK’ish’  for you to have thought of me.  Bless your heart.  I’m so very grateful to you. xxx

The task I have to complete in order to win the award is…

  1. Answer a set of questions which have been set by Mrs.Craft.
  2. Nominate 5 other blogs/people for the Blue Sky Tag award
  3. Set 5 Questions for the people I’ve nominated to answer. (it was supposed to be six, but I felt Five questions were more do-able,  any more could be a pain.  So five is what I’ve kept it to).

And that’s it.  Nothing more to do.

Soooo…  I’ll jump straight in and answer the questions Mrs.Craft has set, and I hope to both make her proud of her choice, and also give you a little entertainment along the way.  🙂

      1. What time of day are you most creative?    In the afternoons, leading into early evening.  Never in the mornings, unless something is pressingly urgent.  ...  for that read:  I’ve forgotten someone’s birthday and can’t simply buy a card because I know there are expectations for me to have made one.  A special one.  A VERY special one.  More special than anything ever seen before.  And I know that if I don’t come up with the goods, then someone is going to feel really upset and even quietly cross, that I didn’t obviously care enough to go the extra mile.  (Guilt plays a HUGE part in my life.  I am a slave to Master/Mistress Guilt).
      2. If you could try any new creative art, what would it be and why?  Well, I’ve tried rather a lot of them.  You see …  I’ve been a crafter almost all of my life.  I’ve done:  Card Making;  Pottery;  Jewellery Making;  Knitting;  Sewing;  Embroidery;  Felting;  Scrapbooking;  Melt Potting;  Painting – on canvas and paper;  Painting – decorative painting for house things;  Wreath making;   Floristry;  Tag Art;  Stone painting;  Decorative Painting on walls  (I even painted a woodland scene on a reception wall at my daughters first school). ATC’s and ACEO’s. …   Oh heck …  there’s more but my brain is beginning to hurt now as I’m trying to rememberise all this stuff! lol  …  But – there is one craft which I’m currently trying to master, and that’s Crochet.  I’m teaching myself and I have had a little bit of a success, but  my efforts do not live up to my aspirations.  :/   So work continues.  lol
        Raggedy Old Stool 1

        Evidence that if something sits still long enough, I’ll paint it.  This is now rather an old stool.  We tried to work out how old, and we think it’s between 15 and 17 years old

        Raggedy Old Stool 2

        I took FLASH ON and Flash OFF photo’s and none of them were particularly any good, but I’ll share them both with you so that you get an idea.

        Raggedy Old Stool 3

        A happy little chicken keeps guard on one side of the stool.

        Raggedy Old Stool 4

        A funky chicken keeps guard on the one side of the stool.

        Raggedy Old Stool 5

        Getting close up and personal!

        Raggedy Old Stool 6

        Two hanging hearts, hanging from a (painted) nail.

        Raggedy Old Stool 7

        that’s all folks!  😀

      3. Which famous artist/author/crafter would you like to meet?  Oh My Goodness!  Coo that’s a question and a half.  There are TONS of crafters I would like to meet.  Far too many of them to list just a few, and it would be awful to miss anyone out, so I won’t name any names as I love too many.  (is it possible to love too many crafters?  I think not).  😀  Authors  … ahhh now then, I could begin in my childhood and continue through to my daughters childhoods and name tons.   An elderly neighbour, Mrs. Cooke, from my young child years got me reading Catherine Cookson books from around the age of 7, and I ADORED them and her style of writing.  She has such a wonderful way of  ‘writing a picture’ and I could see everything inside my little head as if I were stood quietly in the corner watching things unfold.  From that came a life long love of Catherine Cookson … and I cried when they announced that she’d passed on, back in 1998.  I had at that point, every single book she’d written.  As I bought the books,  I read and kept every one.  With my first weeks wages I earned, the first thing I did was go into town and buy a Catherine Cookson book. And I never stopped buying until she passed away.  After that, books began to be produced, still in her name, and written in the same way and style, but they weren’t HER.  So I simply couldn’t buy them.  A few years ago I decided that I needed to pare down  the books I owned (not just Cookson – I read a LOT), and I chose certain books which were my absolute, never to part with, favourites as my ‘keeps’,  and gave all but a favourite few of my Cookson collection to the secretary at my daughters school.  Her mother (the secretary’s mother) was living in an Elderly Peoples home, and the residents didn’t have a great selection of reading material at that point.  They were trying to build a library for the residents,  so I donated all my Cookson books to that library, and apparently they went down a smash hit with the ladies there.  But I still own my favourites and still read them – even though I know them like the old friends they are.  Now we come to Artist …  awww again, I have a selection….  One would have to be  Beryl Cook.
        Beryl Cook - A Full House

        a painting by Beryl Cook – titled  ‘A Full House’

        If you don’t know who she is, Google her name and then view ‘Images’.  She paints in quite a naive(ish) sort of way, but includes such a ton of fun into her fabulous cheeky pieces and they tickle the heck out of me.  I think she and I would have got along fine and dandy.   Also Stanley Spencer – another English artist, who had such great talent for detail.  (Something I love).  His paintings can keep you looking, and looking, and looking – until you don’t realise how much time has passed and you’ve been hypnotised to the spot and held captive.

        Stanley Spencer Angels of the Apocalypse

        a painting by Stanley Spencer – entitled Angels of the Apocalypse

        Of course … there are the world known (paint) artists such as Raphael, (The Deliverance of Saint Peter is a fabulously pure work of heart)

        The Deliverance of St. Peter - by Raphael

        a painting by RaphaelThe Deliverance of Saint Peter.

        Then there’s Michelangelo who I’d love to have met and watched working.  I could add also Walter Crane – who’s paintings can make me gasp with delight.  And Theodor Severin Kittelsen …  such a huge talent and fabulously rich style.  Aw heck.. I could go on.  Please do Google any names you’re not familiar with and take a look at their art.

      4. What has been your longest craft project?  MeI’m my longest craft project.  I’m continually trying to make me a ‘better’ me.  It’s a never-ending project.
      5. What injuries have you sustained as a result of being creative?  Oh Lord!  My most continual one has to be the HOT GLUE GUN!  People out there who have never used one ….  I give you the biggest tip I can give to anyone …  When you plug in your glue gun to heat up, in the time you’re waiting, go and half fill a bowl with cold water.  This is so that when you get that hot glue on your fingers (and particularly your finger nails) you can instantly plunged the affected part into cold water and hold it there for a time.  You will never know pain like hot glue until you learn about it and feel it for yourself.  This tip is a SERIOUS ONE.  No jokes.
      6. What was your first ever creative project?  Probably painting when I was little.  Or … maybe pasta shapes stuck to card.  Something like that I would guess.  But my first serious one was making myself a nightdress out of one of my mothers old sheets.  She was going to throw it out and I begged for it.  She didn’t have a clue what I was going to make, but coooo – was she surprised when, some weeks later, I’d finished my project (which I’d been doing in secret) and put it on to show her.  It was all hand sewn, and even had little flowers and leaves which I’d embroidered, at the neckline.  I was so chuffed with how that turned out, and I wore it  until I eventually grew out of it.

Now it’s time for the nomination of 5 Crafters ….

I would like to nominate the following 5 crafters. It was a tough job to get it down to 5 as I personally would want all the blogs I follow to be awarded solid gold stars, simply for allowing me to follow them and putting up with my ramblings when I comment on their blogsBelieve me … they need awards for that alone!  🙂

  1.  Kim Styles Cards
  2. GluCrafted.com
  3. Puddleside Musings
  4. Paper and Ink Imaginings
  5. More Ink Please

Congratulations all!  You all have such fabulous style and I really enjoy and love your blogs.

All you now have to do is answer the 5 Questions below in a blog post on your blog.  You have to link back to this post, so that any of your readers can follow the chain and read other blogs so they’re not missing out on even more crafty fun!   After that you yourself get to nominate 5 blogs you follow and set questions for them!

Now I have to set 5 questions for these blog owners to answer, so listen up you folks, you have to answer these 5 questions:

  1.  When the crafting bug bit you  what was the first thing you made which gave you a sense of joy when you looked at your creation?
  2. Do you drive anyone in your family crazy with your crafting?  And if so … why?
  3. Do you buy anyone elses hand crafted items, and if so, what is that item likely to be?
  4. I have no doubt that you craft for other people … but do you ever make anything for yourself?  And if so … what things have you made for yourself?
  5. Do you sell your items, and  ... Where do you sell them?  Perhaps you could give us all a link so that if we’d like to buy from you we can!  (go on …  advertise yourself!)

And that, as they say, is all there is to it.  Once you’ve done this, you can then pick up the Blue Tag award from the top of this post, and take it to your own blog to use as the head of your post, and also put it in your awards over in your widget bar, if you do that.

Thank you so much for coming and having a bit of a read and a coffee with me.  It means so much to me and I love seeing you.  I normally try to post something crafty which I’ve made on a Monday, but I thought that I really should work on this nomination as I’ve had it for a whole week (or so) and really shouldn’t sit around crafting when I have something of importance to do.  tsk tsk Cobs!

Have a wonderful Monday – whatever you’re doing, wherever you’re doing it, and whatever the weather is like.  And remember …  be good to each other.

Great big squidges from me here, to you there  ~ 

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What I’ve Learned This Week.

Hello you!  Aw I’m so thrilled to see you here, thank you so much for coming.  I could do with a cheery friend with a smiling face.  Fancy a coffee?  Tea?  You sit down at the table and I’ll pour us a drink.  Help yourself to biscuits!

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So … you’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week aren’t you?  Well… I’d better make a start then!

This week I seem to have spent ages crying over one thing or another.  Things I’ve seen on the news.  A programme about a footballer whose wife had passed on (from Cancer), leaving him and three children.  (wept several times during that programme).  I cried hot tears for the Liberian children in West Africa, and all of the children living in poverty around the world, when I watched one of our annual big fund-raisers – Comic Relief – on TV.  (I donated.  Like I wouldn’t?).   Oh … and other things had me in tears … some of them piffling little things and then others which weren’t in the least bit piffling,  but I’m not going to list and share them because if I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster, I don’t want to put you on one as well!  eek!

I’ve learnt that just as I sit down to visit ‘my reader’  (a wonderful device on WordPress,  where all the blogs a person follows, with all the latest blog posts, are all listed out for them on one continuous page!) …  and have a look at all the blogs I follow and leave comments or likes etc….  it’s right at that VERY moment that the phone rings; or the door knocks; or it’s time for lunch/dinner/something/or other.  And I think I’m now so far behind on all the fabulous people’s blogs I follow, that I’ll never catch up ever again!  But … I’m trying.  I really am.  So bear with me if I haven’t been to your blog yet…  I’ll be getting there very soon.

I’ve learned this week ….  rather a lot about Octopuses.  (… not Octopi.  Octopuses is the preferred plural).

People of the world who watch the news (and especially those who love football)  for sure will remember that eight-tentacled seer – Paul the Octopus – who was used to predict football scores during the World Cup in 2010.  Yes?  Well for those who don’t know or would like a reminder … here’s a very short video of Paul, choosing the final ‘winner’ (in his opinion) …

During the 2010 World Cup, the cephalopod pundit, living in a German  Sea-life centre was SO accurate in his forecasting that he became an international headline.  He got nine out of ten matches in that tournament SPOT ON!  When it came to predicting a football winner, this little chap was amazing.

Now before I go any further …  I’m not a football fan.  Not even a teeny bit.  In fact I dislike it so much that I can’t be in the same room as a television which is broadcasting it.  The noise, the roar of the crowd, the wails and ‘woo hoos’,  I can’t bear it.  (Now you see why I have a craft room   🙂   lol).

Anyhoo …back to Paul..  There were, of course, people who said when Paul fished a tasty mussel out of a box which was ‘wearing’ the flag of one of the football teams who were in a forthcoming match, it was just coincidence that he picked the winner.

However they couldn’t have been more wrong.  An Australian philosopher, Peter Godfrey-Smith had detailed his own opinion of the Octopus, and upon reading it, it soon becomes clear that Paul was no ‘one-off’.   Godfrey-Smith told of one captive octopus that lived in a laboratory tank.  He said that they are very particular about their diet.  They like crab, eased fresh from the shell.

In this experiment, a researcher had been feeding captives chunks of frozen squid.  One day, as she made her way down the row of tanks, the scientist’s noticed one of the Octopuses in the tanks.

“It had not eaten its squid, but was holding it up conspicuously,” Godfrey-Smith writes.  “As she stood there, the octopus made its way slowly across the tank to the outflow pipe, watching her all the way.  Then, still watching her, it dumped the bit of squid down the drain”.

She wasn’t impressed with the food in that restaurant, that’s for sure!

Getty Images Credit

credit:  Getty Images

An octopus has no bones,  its bone-free body can be ‘re-made’ to fit the space available, and its skin –  (and this might surprise you)can see!  An octopus’ skin is rippling with little receptors that react to light and allow it to navigate its way around the depths of the ocean, changing colour as it goes.

Sadly, these fascinating, cunning, clever creatures don’t live much past the age of two.  And this is why no one ever saw Paul back on the footballers seats, prophesising who was going to win the next match.  Paul passed away shortly after the end of the football tournament in 2010 which made him famous world-wide.  A fabulous one season wonder.

More about Professor Godfrey Smith and Octopuses, along with a photograph of the man himself, can be found on the following link,  which will open in another window for you:-   Harvard Gazette – Thinking like an octopus

So .. what else did I learn? . . .

Ohhh… I learned this, about the Prime Minister’s Residence, at number 10 Downing Street,  here in the United Kingdom…

It is only since Arthur Balfour became Prime Minister in 1902 that the Prime Minister has been expected to live at No. 10.  Only one former Prime Minister has ever died there:  Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, who resigned as Prime Minister on the 3rd April 1908 but was too ill to move and died 19 days later.  His last words were: ‘This is not the end of me.’

10 Downing Street is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in Britain. The front door cannot be opened from the outside because it has no handle, and no one can enter the building without passing through an airport-style scanner and a set of security gates manned by armed guards.  However, in the first five years after Tony Blair became Prime Minister,  37 computers,  four mobile phones,  two cameras,  a mini-disc player,  a video recorder,  four printers,  two projectors  and a  bicycle  were stolen from the building.  (Not sure what that says about who  …  Tony Blair or his staff.  [gulp])  lol

Ohh, and you’ll never guess what I learned about…. Potatoes!

Genetic testing has proved a single origin for potatoes,  – in the area of southern Peru and extreme northwestern Bolivia where they were domesticated between 7,000 and 10,000 years ago.

Potatoes were taken outside the Andes region about four centuries ago and now they are the world’s fourth-largest food crop, after maize, wheat and rice

Following centuries of selective breeding there are now about 5,000 different varieties of potatoes.

Now let’s see…  there was something else I know I learned, and really wanted to share with you … what the divil was it? .. OH …  TIME TRAVEL!  Now pay attention you lot at the back.  This is good stuff!

According to General Relativity, everything in the Universe is played out on a stage that has three dimensions of space and one of time.  This space-time is warped by the mass and energy of the Universe’s contents.  Theoretically a large enough concentration of mass or energy can distort time so much that it folds back on itself like a crumpled sheet. 

These folds were described by Kurt Gödel in 1949 and are known as ‘closed time-like curves’.  They ought, at least in theory, to allow us to revisit past moments in history by using an idea developed in 1988 by Kip Thorne and colleagues at the California Institute of Technology, who showed that tunnels through space-time (wormholes), would allow time travel by taking a shortcut from one fold to the next.

There are still plenty of obstacles to time-travelling through wormholes. Not least is the fact that the only wormholes we can possibly make with present-day technology are tiny: only subatomic particles would be small enough to travel through them. 

I learned more about Time Travel …. but I’ll save it until next week.  I don’t want to explode your brain!  (ohhh the very thought!).

So …  this is how much more educationamalised I am this week.  You know … I’m seriously beginning to wonder where I’m storing all this stuff, and how much of the other stuff is being shifted out.  What if something really important is being thrown over-board, like …  my address, or my name?  How will I know what to tell the Police if I get lost?  “What’s your name?”  I dunno!  “Where do you live?”  Don’t know that either …. but I can tell you something about potatoes which might thrill you!   Don’t laugh … it could happen!

But anyhoo …  we have now come to that time where you sit back,  get comfortable … and I slay you with some jokes.  Well … perhaps not slay you exactly …  perhaps ‘tickle your chuckle muscle’.  …  Are you ready??  Ok, lets go!

The Jokes

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn’t play any 70’s music…
at first I was afraid,  I was petrified!

My doctor thinks I’m taking hallucinogenic drugs… how do I know?  … let’s just say a little bird told me.

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles…  which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”

My husband and I decided we don’t want children;  . . .  so if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? . . .   A barberque!

What do you call a train loaded with toffee?  . . .   A chew chew train.

What’s round and bad tempered?  . . .  A vicious circle.

and finally . . .

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft  . . .    they didn’t respond to my telegram.  😀

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee moment with me.

I hope you have a beautiful Friday, and that tomorrow doesn’t catch you by surprise  …..  (in case you hadn’t noticed … tomorrow is April Fools Day!).  May you find some more smiles to add to those you’ve just found, and I hope both today, and your whole weekend, are truly blessed.

May the winds be soft, the rain be somewhere else, and may your heart and mind work together as one.

Be good to each other and  . . .  may your God go with you.

Squidges ~

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

Hap Pee Fry Day!  (say it out loud if it didn’t make sense just reading it) 🙂

My education has grown in height and in width this week –   and funnily enough, my figure has grown in width too –  there’s a strange thing!  Wouldn’t know why it’s happened.  It’s not like I’ve eaten chocolate every da……  ah.  no.  Ahem ….  Actually, I might know why that’s happened.  (suck it in Cobs.  Suck it in).  😀

So anyhoo … You’re waiting to find out what lessons Life has taught me this week, aren’t you?  So  I guess I’d better dive in and drag you under with me.  Put your Snorkel on Madge, and buckle down your Scuba diving equipment Albert …  we’re going in!

My Edumacationamilisation began last Saturday morning whilst in the shower.  DON’T WALK OUT!  OY!!!  This is not a mucky story, so sit back down and pin back your lug ‘oles!

I’d done all the body shower bit, and washed my hair,  and was doing a final rinse of my face.  I cupped my hands under the water as it rained down, and getting a little handful, I raised my hands to SPLASH the water all over my face when the accident happened.

I misjudged the distance to my face and in doing so, I scrapped my thumb nail up my chin.  Ooooo!  That stung.  “Cooo”, I thought, “I bet that will leave a red mark!”  I said to myself (and yes, I admit there was a bit of swear word in there somewhere … ‘dash’ and darn’.  That sort of thing because it did rather hurt).  After all the splashing I got out of the shower and looked into the mirror on the door of the bathroom cabinet.

Hells Bells Woman!  You’ve done a grand job there!”  I said, looking at the red mark on my chin.  I stepped closer to the mirror.  “Ohh heck!“.  I looked in the mirror and could see that this wasn’t just a mark.  This was several layers of skin which I’d taken off, and it was bleeding  –  rather a lot.

Summing up … the outing I’d planned for that Saturday had to go ‘by the bye’ –  because Life taught me to: Be More Careful When Washing  my face, because my hands (and finger nails) are the most magnificent weapons of destruction.

A week later and I’m still sporting a nasty wound to my face.  It’s healing – but not as fast as I’d like.

I learned this week:-   that Florida has more bear hunters than it has bears.  Which led me to wondering why there were ANY bears in Florida at all in that case!   Just that.  Nothing moreBut I thought it was an interesting thought.

I also learned this week …  that  Nostalgia was classified as a disease by the Royal College of Physicians until 1899.  Yes, seriously.  It was considered to be a ‘Crippling Mental Illness’.

Emigrants and soldiers would often fall victim to nostalgia, and it was thought that if it wasn’t stopped fairly quickly, it would end in victims wasting away and losing their ability to adjust and cope with daily life.

However,  more recently, studies have been conducted on nostalgia and have discovered that there are actually some benefits to it—a far cry from the ideas that contracting nostalgia would make a person give up on life and simply waste away. Researchers at the University of Southampton have found that indulging in a bit of nostalgic reminiscing might make a person sad for a short period, but in the long run, it serves as a comfort.

I also learned that . . .  When you blush so does the lining of your stomach Yes, I thought it was an early April Fools Joke too, so I went in search of more details to make sure that I wasn’t believing in the ‘Money Tree’  . . . .   and this is what I found…

Blushing is a response that is the result of the sympathetic nervous system causing increased blood flow throughout the body. During periods of embarrassment, the body releases adrenaline, a hormone that prepares the body for stressful situations. Adrenaline also makes the blood vessels dilate in order to improve blood flow and oxygen delivery in case the body has to suddenly flee a dangerous situation. The veins in the face, as well as in the stomach lining and throughout the rest of the body, then have more blood than normal flowing through them, and they appear red.

Now this next bit of edumacationamilisation totally floored me.  BUT …. Before I share it with you I need to tell you about a place called Cornwall.  Cornwall is a fabulous holiday destination here in the UK. For those of you who have seen and watched the programme  Doc Martin – Cornwall is where Doc Martin is filmed.  It’s a truly lovely place and I have fond childhood memories of holidaying there.  It’s in the South of England.

A map to help you visualise where Cornwall is….

Map showing Cornwall

Cornwall is down in the south, at the far point on the left.  Next to it is Devon, another beautiful place, where, if you meet a local who’s been there for all their life, they’ll pronounce it:  Debun  (but it actually comes out as: Debn).  Next to Devon, along the coast line,  is Dorset – or ‘Darsit’, if you’ve lived there all your life.  Dorset is where you’ll find  Mr.Cobs and myself, and Little Cobs (and his Mummy and Daddy).  Mr.Cobs and I are generally trying to find as much fun and as many giggles as possible, all without the aid of alcohol.  (mostly)

But back to the plot:-

The world’s only Cornish pasty museum is in Mexico.  Those of you from the United Kingdom will perhaps now have eyes as wide as saucers and you’ll be scoffing at me saying this.  Yup … that’s how I felt when I learned about this.  So… me being me … I double checked …  and guess what … it’s  t.r.u.e. 

The world’s first museum dedicated to the “delicacy” is in the mining municipality of Real del Monte,  more than 4,500 miles away from Cornwall,  in Mexico.

The pasty has been in Mexico for generations,  having been taken to the country  along with football  and technology by Cornish miners in 1824,  as they helped build up the local mining industry.

For those who might not know what a Cornish Pasty looks like…..

 

Genuine Cornish Pasty

A Genuine Cornish Pasty.

Genuine Cornish Pasties have their crimping around the side, as you see in the above photo.  However … when I make my own Cornish Pasties, I always put my crimping over the top, like the ones in the picture below.

top crimped cornish pasty

Top Crimped Cornish Pasties, being made.

You can imagine how both funny and weird I found it when I learned that here is Cornwall, nestled in the UK.  A place of beauty  and wonder, Cornish Pixies, incredible people, great places to visit, AND … famous for it’s fabulous Pasties … and yet …  the only Cornish Pasty Museum is four and a half thousand miles away in Mexico!  There is something very strange about this.  Something has gone badly wrong.  The World has surely gone mad!!!

Nope .. still can’t make head nor tail of that one.

I also learned this week …

  • That a group of Unicorns is called a blessing.
  • A group of Shrews is called  A Whisker
  • A group of Ladybirds is called A Loveliness
  • A group of Snails is called an Escargatoire
  • A group of Hippopotamuses is called A Bloat
  • A group of Ponies is called A String
  • A group of Hyenas is called A Cackle
  • A group of Pekingese is called A Pomp
  • A group of Owls is called A Parliament
  • A group of Ravens is called A Storytelling  – or – An Unkindness
  • A group of Husbands is called A Couch or A Bench
  • A group of Wives is called …. A Nag  (the cheek of it!)
  • A group of Guinea Pigs is called A Muddle
  • A group of Caterpillars is called An Army
  • A group of Parrots is called A Pandemonium.
  • A group of Porcupines is called A Prickle.

I also learned this week …..

That even the wonderful Twillweld, that most brilliant of wire netting used on Aviaries, chicken runs, guinea pig and rabbit hutches,  is no match for a bloody minded mouse with food on its mind!

Rabbit Hutch

Not ‘our’ rabbit hutch, but ours is similar in design.  Ours has two doors and a central non-opening section, downstairs, and a larger bedding section on the upstairs section.

You can see in the photo above how tiny the holes are in the Twillweld wire on the hutch.  We’ve had the hutch since my rabbit was born and never had a problem with it.  However … read on dear reader,  read on!

We found a mouse had managed to get into my rabbits cage, and had set up home in there, happily munching away on all the lovely rabbit food my bunny has, and made itself very snuggly in all the hay she has to eat, and straw she has for her bedding.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! (and some swear words thrown in there because I’m so cross).

THEN … when Mr. Cobs had found the little blighter  –  it ran out of the hutch and passed Mr.C at a gazillion miles an hour, so that it couldn’t be caught. Now how this happened is a total mystery to Mr.C and myself … because not only was Mr.C on the case, wanting to catch said mouse and take it far away, into the woods, to leave it there – as per my instructions.   But our two cats were on guard duty – one at the rear of the hutch, one at the side, waiting, waiting, waitingone of which was Alf Capone (Used Furniture Dealer) – who IS a killer of mice (and pigeons, garden birds, – and also a thief, as I’ve previously discussed), AND ALSO, bringing up the rear and checking for any escapees, was Madam Jack Russell, (aka: my little fat bitch – because she is.  Fat, and a bitch)  who finds mice and rats and the killing of, a pastime.  So how that cheeky mouse got past my army, I have absolutely no idea!  I know it went under the hutch, because I saw it go…  and so did my cats (Alf Capone was at this stage going crazy to get it.  He knew it was under the hutch) – but when Mr.C came back from his trip to his shed, bringing with him a long piece of wood which he ‘swept’ under the hutch, back and forth – absolutely nothing came out.  We had no idea where it went.  Nor did the cats.

So Miss fluffy bunny rabbit was totally cleaned out and everything was either thrown away or washed and put back into the rabbit hutch.

Two days later . . .  Mr.C found that mouse b*gger had only got back in there again and been busy stashing food into a corner behind the rabbits litter tray for itself.  Mr.C found it because he saw the mouse droppings around the insides of the hutch.  But upon searching, there was no mouse to be found.  So another clean up followed and some changes were made.

Dearest Mr.C has sealed off the lower floor of the hutch from the upper floor,  and he’s taken away the ladder, as my rabbit is quite old now and no longer used the upstairs part of her hutch as she didn’t find it easy to clamber up it any longer.  So by doing what he’s done he’s made sure that the blasted thing can’t get to my rabbit again,

So … she’s moved upstairs and only she is there.  Mr.C has then paid some attention to the lower part of the hutch and sealed off the Twillweld  (metal wire netting) in the lower part of the hutch so that mouse will have to go and look elsewhere for his meals.

Let all mice be warned … I’ve given Alf Capone complete control over the matter, and if there happens to be a mouse wandering through our garden, anywhere near that hutch, he’s been given permission to do with them what-ever he sees fit.  Bl**dy mice!

Ok…  we’ve finally reach that point which we’ve all been hanging around the back of the class room, waiting patiently for….  THE JOKES!

Ready?  Let’s dive in to a pool of chuckles …

The Jokes

My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.  Laughed more than I thought.

What is Beethoven’s favourite fruit?    Ba-na-na-na.

My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

Jokes about opticians just get cornea and cornea.

When my husband told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo, I decided to put my foot down.

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?  Because they were two deer.

If you want a job in the moisturiser industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

A woman told me she recognised me from the vegetarian club,  but I’d never met herbivore.

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?  They had a weigh in a manger.

I hate perforated lines, they’re tearable.

❤  ~  and finally …  ~  ❤

How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?   A buccaneer!  😀

Aaaaand,  those are the jokes folks!

Happy Friday, wherever you are,  and wherever you are, make it a good one.

You have two choices … you can either decide to have a good day … or you can decide to have a bad one.  Then you have two more choices …  fix to your memory one of your favourite jokes from the ones above, and then share it with someone today and make them smile.  Or, you can keep the jokes to yourself and not share the smiles around.

Each day is filled, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, of a series of two choices.  This or That.  Yes or No.  Stay or Go.  Here or There.  This outfit or That one.  Bath or Shower. Smile or Grizzle.  All the time, two choices.  Look out for them today and become aware of them as the choices appear.  Make sure you make the right choice.  Then once you’ve made your choice, don’t complain when you don’t like what you chose.

Have a truly fabulous Friday.  May the day be kind.  May all the people you come across today be even kinder.  May you not have too many choices to make where you don’t like either choice.  But … where you do make your choice, may you be able to find the joy.

Have a truly blessed day my friend.  I’ll be thinking about you.  Be safe and …  may your God go with you.

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What I’ve Learned This Week.

Morning all.  Happy Friday!  And …  a Very Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all.  🙂

St. Patrick has a great history, and makes a good read.  So if you’re in the mood for reading, then I supply a link here —>  A history of St. Patrick the patron saint of Ireland.  <— which will open in another window and sit waiting patiently for you, until you’ve finished having a read here.  🙂   The website is owned and written by an Irish lady who’s family history also makes a great read.  So the story (and all the pages on the site) all come direct from Ireland without any twists which shouldn’t be there.

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Anyhoo ….

The world continues my educationalamalisation,  and I’m now wondering if that’s why I keep forgetting things.  Names of people.  Road names.  Appointments.  What I went to the fridge for?  What it was I wanted from the shop, before I’ve even got my shoes on to leave the house!  How to get to places.  (don’t suggest  SatNavs, because I can’t use the darn thing.  ‘She’ really politely tells me what to do next, and I can’t remember what it was she just said!   Useless.  I’m totally useless.  Of no use to man nor beast.

But I’ve come up with a theory that the reason I’m forgetting things is because I’m learning allll the time, and all the new stuff is pushing some of the other stuff over the edges of my brain!  Where they’re going from that point is anyones guess,  I do have a theory at that too … but I’m not about to discuss it in polite company.  😉

What were we talking about again?  Ohh yes! … educationalamalisation …  I shall continue:

I learned this week ….

That Trees sleep at night.  (cor!  I heard you gasp from here!).  Well, when you think about it,  wouldn’t you need a bit of a snooze after a long a long day of photosynthesizing?

Here, straight from the horse’s mouth (or scientists mouth in this case) is the explanation ….

It depends on how you define “sleep,” but trees do relax their branches at night, which might be a sign of snoozing,  the scientists said.

In the only reported study to look at tree ‘siestas’:  researchers set up lasers that measured the movements of two silver birch trees at night.  One tree was in Finland and the other in Austria, and both were monitored from dusk until morning on a dry, windless night in September.  This was close to the solar equinox, when daylight and nighttime are about equal.

The laser scanners used infrared light to illuminate different parts of the tree,  each for fractions of a second. This provided enough detail to map each tree within minutes, the researchers said.

The silver birches’ branches and leaves sagged at night; they reached their lowest position a few hours before sunrise, and then perked up again during the wee hours of the morning, the researchers found.

“Our results show that the whole tree droops during night, which can be seen as position change in leaves and branches,” study lead author Eetu Puttonen, a researcher at the Finnish Geospatial Research Institute, said in a statement. “The changes are not too large, only up to 10 centimeters [4 inches] for trees with a height of about 5 meters [16 feet].”

It’s unclear if the sun “woke up” the trees or if they relied on their own internal circadian rhythm, the researchers said. But “the fact that some branches started returning to their daytime position already before sunrise would suggest this [internal circadian clock] hypothesis [is right],”.

The finding isn’t too surprising.  Most living organisms have day and night circadian rhythms, and any gardener will notice that some plants open their flowers in the morning and that some trees close their leaves at night.  The famed botanist Carl Linnaeus (1707-1778) found that flowers confined to a dark cellar still opened and closed, and naturalist Charles Darwin (1809-1882) noted that the nocturnal movement of leaves and stalks on plants looked like the plants went to sleep.

So … what else did I learn this week?

Well … from watching a TV programme on TV, I learned this mind-blowing (no not really.   Not in the least bit mind-blowing, but it is a bit of fun)  information which should change the world (no it seriously won’t) …  I learned:  That ‘Google’ reports that searches for  ‘How to put on a condom’  peak at 10.28pm.  Saying nothing.  Nope.  Not going to get into that one.  I’m only here to report on my ‘learnings’.  🙂

I also learned:  There is no word for  time  in any Aboriginal language.  Maybe I should move there?  Time wouldn’t exist, and therefore I wouldn’t get any older!  Sounds fine to me … oh …. hang on ….  if I don’t get any older then I’ll miss out on Birthdays and birthday presents ….  hmmm  …  as Fagin said:  I think I’d better think it out again!

I learned that  ‘Emoji’ –  these things:  🙂  😦  :/  😀  –  is the fastest growing language in historySee,  … now  this made me think that we’re all going backwards.    Cavemen and women used a similar sort of thing by drawing on cave walls in order to tell the story of their day.  “I saw a cow.  I threw a stick at the cow.” – only they drew pictures to tell that story.   …  maybe that’s where we’re heading?

And I also learned that apparently….  The name Donald means  ‘ruler of the world’.  His mother,  Mrs. Duck, must be SO proud.  (Mr. Disney will be chuffed to know that too!).

Finally ….  I learned that …  (and this made me feel a little bit sad, and think of Wall-E ...the last robot left on Earth . . .) …  On each anniversary of its landing on Mars, the Curiosity Rover hums  ‘Happy Birthday’  to itself.  😦  (imagine an ‘Emoji’ here of a crying face)

Crafters of the World – we need to unite and craft poor little Curiosity some birthday cards.  (We’ve got plenty of time, his birthday isn’t until August the 5th)

Shall we now move on to the part you’re waiting for?  Do you have your coffee ready?  Biscuits and cookies?  Ok … let’s go!

These are the JOKES folks!

I just ate a frozen apple.  . . .  Hardcore.

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.   …  I thought it was a nice jester.

I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. . . . When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  . . .  Then it dawned on me.

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. . . .  She seemed surprised.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory.  . . .  I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

So I applied for a job making sandwiches, . . . but the  roll  had been filled.

Then I got a job working in an origami shop, . . .  but it folded.

What do you get hanging off banana trees?  . . .  Sore arms.

and finally . . .

I’ve just been diagnosed as colour blind. . . . It came right out of the purple!

~  ❤  ~

So do you feel more intelligent?  Has reading all this new stuff, pushed some of your old stuff out of your brain,  and now it’s free-falling at rapid speed,  throughout your body, bouncing off your liver, kidneys and all those other squishy things inside you?  If so … then thank heavens for that!  At least I know I’m not alone  in this weirdness.  (lol)

Have a truly fabulous Friday, and perfect St. Patrick’s Day.  May your weekend bring love, smiles, joy, and a clear conscience.

Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.

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