The Friday Post (a post of 2 halves)

This week I thought we could do something different again.

We’ll firstly take a look over our shoulders and find out a few things which happened on this day (June the 23rd) in History.

And then …  we’ll have a bit of fun.  😉

So put on your seat belts, grab your coffee, we’ll be taking off  and travelling backwards in time to 1868  – where we’ll begin our trip of: …

On this Day in History

1868 – Christopher Latham Sholes  receives a patent for Type-Writer.  

Christopher Latham Sholes (February 14, 1819 – February 17, 1890) was an American inventor who invented the first practical typewriter and the QWERTY keyboard still in use today.

From their invention before 1870 through much of the 20th century, typewriters were indispensable tools for many professional writers and in business offices. By the end of the 1980s, word processor applications on personal computers had largely replaced the tasks previously accomplished with typewriters. Typewriters, however, remain popular in the developing world and among some niche markets, and for some office tasks.

1888 – Frederick Douglass is the first African-American nominated for U.S. president

Frederick Douglass (born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey, (born circa 1818 – February 20, 1895) was an American abolitionist, women’s suffragist, editor, orator, author, statesman and reformer. Called “The Sage of Anacostia” and “The Lion of Anacostia”, Douglass is one of the most prominent figures in African-American and United States history.

1894 – The International Olympic Committee is founded at the Sorbonne, Paris, at the initiative of Baron Pierre de Coubertin.

1917 – In a game against the Washington Senators, Boston Red Sox pitcher Ernie Shore retires 26 batters in a row after replacing Babe Ruth, who had been ejected for punching the umpire.

1940 – World War II: German leader Adolf Hitler surveys newly defeated Paris in now occupied France.

1942 – World War II: The first selections for the gas chamber at Auschwitz take place on a train load of Jews from Paris.

1942 – World War II: Germany’s latest fighter, a Focke-Wulf FW190 is captured intact when it mistakenly lands at RAF Pembrey in Wales.

1943 – World War II: The British destroyers Eclipse and Laforey sink the Italian submarine Ascianghi in the Mediterranean after she torpedoes the cruiser HMS Newfoundland.

1972 – Watergate Scandal:

U.S. President Richard M. Nixon and White House chief of staff H. R. Haldeman are taped talking about using the Central Intelligence Agency to obstruct the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s investigation into the Watergate break-ins.

1960 –  Eddie Cochran was at No.1 in the UK with the single ‘Three Steps To Heaven’.  The American singer had been killed 3 months earlier in a car crash while touring the UK.

1966 The Beatles had their tenth consecutive UK No.1 single with ‘Paperback Writer’ / ‘Rain.’ The track is marked by the boosted bass guitar sound throughout, partly in response to John Lennon demanding to know why the bass on a certain Wilson Pickett record far exceeded the bass on any Beatles records. It was also cut louder than any other Beatles record, due to a new piece of equipment used in the mastering process.

1970 – Chubby Checker was arrested in Niagara Falls after police discovered marijuana and other drugs in his car.

1993 – ‘Teflon Don’  jailed for life. New York crime boss, John Gotti was sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of parole.

The head of the city’s largest Mafia family was convicted on 2 April for racketeering and five counts of murder – including the former head of the Gambino clan, Paul Castellano.

Gotti’s deputy, Frank Locascio, was also sentenced to life after being found guilty of similar charges. Both men were fined $250,000 (£134,500).

Several hundred Gotti-supporters had gathered outside the Brooklyn courtroom and an angry mob attempted to storm the building when the decision was announced.

Judge Leo Glasser’s sentencing brought to a close the long quest to convict the man nicknamed the “Teflon Don”.

Gotti, 51, had escaped repeated attempts by federal prosecutors throughout the 1980s to get charges to stick to him.

But police finally persuaded Salvatore Gravano – his former ally and right hand man – to testify against his boss in return for leniency.

John Gotti died of throat cancer in prison on 10th June 2002.  He was 61.

The Telfon Don’s son, John Gotti Jnr, took over the running of the Gambino family but was jailed in 1999 for bribery, extortion, gambling and fraud, and remains behind bars.

2016 – The United Kingdom votes in a referendum to leave the European Union, by 52% to 48%.

And,  as they say in the best Monty Python episodes:~ 

please click to watch and hear, it’s only 16 seconds long.

The following are actual questions from lawyers,  in a courtroom

And with some of those questions are the answers.  (some of these might need a moment of thinking about before the penny drops!).

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’
Q: And did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q:  I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A:  That’s me.
Q:  Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q:  Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:  Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A:  I’ll be three months on November 8.
Q:  Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A:  Yes.
Q:  What were you doing at that time?

Q:  Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A:  I used to be.
Q:  How many times have you committed suicide?

So you were gone until you returned?

Q:  She had three children, right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there girls?

You don’t know what it was,  and you didn’t know what it looked like,  but can you describe it?

Q:  You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q:  Have you lived in this town all your life?
A:  Not yet.

Q:  Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body
A:  It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 pm.
Q:  And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A:  No, you stupid ***,  he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

You couldn’t make it up could you?  And you know what’s even more fearful?  …  They walk among us!

Well… it’s Friday again.  They seem to come around quicker than ever.  I’ve been a day behind all week.  Tuesday was Monday.  Wednesday I was convinced was Tuesday … and so it went on all through the week.  Tsk.  It’s me.  Apparently I’m getting old, but I know I’m not because I’ve not increased in age since the age of 27, when I taught my two little girls who were so innocent and willing to listen to me back then,  that if anyone asked them how old their mommy was they were to say …  “My mummy’s ONLY 27!”.  And I continued to feed that delightful fact into their little heads until I was sure that they wouldn’t ever forget it.  And so,  as each year passed,  I remained, to my girls at least “Oooonly 27”.

I now get a birthday card from daughter No.2 every year which wishes me “Happy 27th Birthday Mom”.   Ahh,  I love her sooooo much.  😀

coffee cup

Anyhoo…  I’ve sat here talking all this time and you’re wanting to drink up the last of your coffee in peace.  So, I shall stop yacking and let you go about your daily life.

Remember … today is Friday.  It’s permissible to smile BIG TIME on a Friday.  So please share your smile with the world,  for you are sooo gorgeous when you smile … SEE.THERE IT IS!!!  That smile lights up your whole face!  THE WHOLE ROOM IN FACT!!   Yeah … smile lots today because it really suits you.

Have a truly blessed day my beautiful, fabulous blogging friend.

Love and hugs ~

sig-coffee-copy

Friday Factoids

While the  ‘Things I’ve Learned This Week’ post is off on its Summer Holibobs,  I thought we could do something different on a Friday.

So … in this new ‘Summer Season’ of Friday posts, I thought we could do perhaps something different every week, but still just as enjoyable as the ‘Things I’ve Learned This Week’ posts.

So this week …  we’re going to cover:

FACTOIDS  for a FRIDAY in June

Before we move forward…  for anyone who may not have met that word (Factoids) before:

Factoids  =  a brief or trivial item of news or information.

So … now you’re edumacation is complete and you know what a factoid is…  here for your entertainment are a few Friday Factoids!

Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys?
They are: Mizaru (See no evil),
Mikazaru (Hear no evil),
and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

Three wise

The first city in the world to have a population of more than one million  was London.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses.  The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

Lightning strikes men about seven times more often than it does women.

The Earth’s continents all start and end with the same letter.

The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Lethologica

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The word enchant comes from the Latin ‘incantare’, meaning to sing or chant magical words or sounds.

The Kiwi,  national bird of New Zealand,  can’t fly, lives in a hole in the ground, is almost blind and lays only one egg each year. Yet it has survived for 70 million years.

Kiwi

Redheads require more anesthesia to ‘go under’ than other hair colours do.  (Yes, it’s true.  I checked it out.  Apparently Redheads need approximately 20 percent more anesthesia).

The Bible,  the world’s best-selling book,  is also the world’s most shoplifted book.

The length from your wrist to your elbow is the same as the length of your foot.

There are four types of marriage:

  1. Monogamy is one wife, one husband.
  2. Polygyny is one husband, several wives. 
  3. Polyandry is one wife, several husbands. 
  4. Group marriage is by far the rarest and has never been the prevailing form of marriage in any known society.

And finally . . .

Did you know:-
That spotted bananas are sweeter, with a sugar content of more than 20%, compared with 3% in a green banana…. and the riper a banana gets, the sweeter it gets… the sugar content increases as it ripens.

And…
Carrots have zero fat content.

And not only that, but….
Watermelons are 97% water;   lettuce 97% water;   tomatoes 95% water;   carrots 90% water;   and bread 30% water.

I know a lot of  ‘carp’, don’t I.  lol. 

Wishing you a fabulous Friday.  Thank you so much for coming and having a Friday coffee with me.

May you take your smile with you wherever you go today.  And wherever you may go…  may your God go with you.

sig-coffee-copy

Things I’ve Learned This Week

Hello, and a very Happy Friday to you.  If you’re still on Thursday wherever you live in this world, then take that greeting as an early one for tomorrow.

I’ve learned a few things this week which were real eye openers.  The types of things that make your eyes increase to the size of saucers, and then your brain says …..  “Really?  REALLY??  Are you sure?.  So, I went on a seek and find the truth mission and I list here a few of the things which I found out this week – which might make your eyes widen to the size of saucers too.

Britons eat 97% of the world’s baked beans.  I was really surprised about this.  I thought that it would be the USA who would have eaten the most baked beans …  Cowboys and all that.  But no.  Us British are the Baked Bean Babies.  We must have some Cowboys here and I don’t know about them!  Yeeee Hawww!

There are more stars in the universe than words which have been spoken by all of the humans who have ever lived.  I don’t know about you, but there’s something so romantic about that fabulous information.  Something which made me stand at the window and look up to the night sky and quietly whisper a long, slow  . . .   w.o.w!

I also learned:

The Romans used powdered mouse brains as toothpaste.  I’m not going anywhere with that one.  I’m just putting it out there and saying nurthing.  (I’m not judgemental).

And this gave me a moment of eye-popping when I heard about it  . . .

France was still executing people by guillotine when the first Star Wars film came out.  Yes, I didn’t believe it either. So I went on a seek and find mission to find out the facts just to make sure . . .

Yes … it’s true.  France really was still using the guillotine for executions when the first Stars Wars Film came out.

The first Star Wars film was released on May 25th, 1977.

The last person to be executed in France was put to death in September 1977.  The death penalty was abolished in French law in 1981.  It is now also forbidden by the French constitution, and by several human rights treaties to which France is a party.

I’ve been chatting with Chicken Grandma this week about slugs (and their ability to nosh down on all my Hostas!  grrr)….  and I learned this about the gardeners monster:  Slugs …. have 4 noses.  This is obviously how they found all my Hostas and ate them all.  So…  I motion that when we get a cold, we should all begin to sneeze over slugs so that they catch a cold and can’t sniff out their favourite treats in our gardens!

Well, I think we’ve reached that moment when we all sit back and enjoy ….

THE JOKES

What’s brown and runs around the garden? . . .  A fence

What do you call a snail on a ship? . . .  A snailor

… and this is one you might have to say out loud . . .

How do you catch a unique cat?  . . .  Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame cat? . . .   Tame way, unique up on it.

one for the British folks….

How do you get two whales in a car?   Start in England and drive west.

and finally …

my last words . . .

Life would be infinitely happier if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18!

Y’know …  I think that might be something I would give a try!  What about you?

coffee cup

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee with me.  I so appreciate your company. 

Sadly, this is the last of the regular weeklyThings I’ve Learned This Week posts for a while.  It’s going on a summer holiday.  It will be touring the country, in a VW Campa van, soaking up the atmosphere and enjoying a coffee at each stop on the way.  (I hope it sends postcards!)

Just to be clear:   ‘Things I’ve Learned This Week’  is taking a summer holiday.  Not me.  I’m sticking around.  You don’t get rid of me that easily!  😀 

Until we meet next time, may life treat you kindly, may love find you, and …  may you find something to smile about at various moments throughout your days.

With love ~

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Things I’ve learned This Week.

Happy Friday!  I don’t know about you, but here in the UK, it’s been a hot week.  It cooled down a little  … but not enough to ditch the shorts and T.shirts.  It feels like Summer!

Well my goodness, what a week this has been.  Mr.Cobs has been working on the garden at the back of our cottage.  It’s taken us a while but we finally found a vision for it.  There are lots of new plants, evergreens, ferns and a selection of flowers.  He’s sown some seeds and they’re growing madly, and things are beginning to look so lush and green.  At last!

When we bought this cottage the majority of the back garden was paved over in decorative paving.  All very smart and very easy to tend to, but there was nothing inspiring.  Nothing that made you want to sit out and just be at one with nature.   That had to change – but we had to live with it for a year before we began to make any rash moves, so that we could see what was growing, and how the sun behaved  in our garden as we are surrounded by protected tallllll pine trees, so they make a high up canopy over the garden which filters some of the sunshine – but we had to work out when, how, where and how much sun each part of the garden got.

Then came the moving of some of the paving, re-laying in some places where it needed to be.  Then we had to do something with the soil.  It had paving on it for who knows how long – so we had to get something into the soil to make it more acceptable to plants.  It’s been what feels like a long journey, but it will all be worth it – we kept telling ourselves.  (Although, there have been times when we’ve said:  “it would have been easier to leave the paving right where it was!”)

And now … just about three weeks after Mr.C began making planting changes this year,  it’s begun to be such an incredible pleasure to sit out there listening to the birds, rather than just walk through it.  It’s all looking so green and lush.  So alive.  Even birds have now started to visit the garden and pop along to watch whats going on!  Sitting on the decking is the most amazing joy now.  Truly a fabulous new blessing.

Anyhoo…   you’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week, not for gardening news!   … so here goes:

I learned this week that … If you were to spell out the numbers in their sequence (1, 2, 3 = one, two, three, etc), you would not find the letter  ‘A’  until you reach One Thousand.

You’re now thinking about this and some of you will even now pick up and pen and see if I’m right.  🙂

I also learned that on Good Friday in 1930, the BBC announced:  “There is no news”.  Yes, honestly.  Here is where I learned about this:  BBC UK, News/No News 1930  –  it will open in a new tab for you.

I learned this week:  That one particular species of jellyfish, Turritopsis nutricula, is considered biologically immortal as it can—and does—revert to its immature state even after reaching sexual maturity.

When it encounters unfavorable environmental conditions, the adult Turritopsis jellyfish normally overflowing with tentacles that evoke the image of the head of Medusa  –  simply sinks to the ocean floor and reverts to its juvenile polyp phase which resembles nothing more than a tiny clump of cells.  Even more fascinating is that the jellyfish can repeat this process of regression and re-growth endlessly.  To date, there have been no reported observations of its death due to aging.

Maybe we should be rubbing ourselves with oils, lotions and potions made from jellyfish,  and eating jellyfish instead of calamari (octopus/squid)?  (umm ….  I don’t think I want to do either of those things to be honest.  ewww).

  • Did you know (and I learned this, this week) 99% of all people get scared when asked this question:  “Can I ask you something?”.  Now, I can actually see how that would work.  Can you?

If you type “Atari Breakout into a Google page search bar and click for Google to do its search, then once the page loads choose to view  “images”  you’ll get a nostalgic blast from the past.  NB… you have to wait a moment for the page to change – just wait  … only a few seconds…  it will change.  Get ready to move your mouse!  🙂  (when you’ve won one game, a new game will load for you).  You’re welcome.  😀

Since I became aware of them, I’ve been very suspicious of these voice activated bits of equipment which you can have in your home as a ‘helper’ … and I learned this week what I suspected …

Whenever you speak into Apple’s voice activated personal digital assistant, it ships it off to Apple’s data farm for analysis. Apple generates a random numbers to represent the user and it associates the voice files with that number. This number — not your Apple user ID or email address — represents you as far as Siri’s back-end voice analysis system is concerned.

Apple say  . . . Once the voice recording is six months old, Apple “disassociates” your user number from the clip, deleting the number from the voice file.  But it keeps these disassociated files for up to 18 more months for testing and product improvement purposes.  (allegedly).

And finally …  if you take your age, multiply it by 7, then multiply it by 1443,  the answer you get will be your age, repeated 3 times.  Go on … try it.  It’s true.

But … we all know why you’re really here.  You’re wanting a little Friday Fix of Fun.  Ok… here are ….

The Jokes!

Doctor:“I’m not 100% certain of the cause. It could be related to alcohol.”  —  Patient:“It’s cool. I’ll come back later when you’re sober.”

~~~

Q:  What is Heck?  —  A:  It’s where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.

~~~

Q: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered dessert?  —  A:  No thanks, I’m stuffed.

~~~

A Penguin was arrested when at check-in at the Airport yesterday.  After two hours they released him saying “He’s not a flight risk.”  (penguin?)

~~~

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.  Not only is it terrible,  it’s terrible.

~~~

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.  I said “40”

~~~

What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.

~~~

and finally . . .

My friend says to me: “what rhymes with orange”  …  I said: “no it doesn’t”

And those are the jokes folks!

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee moment with me.  I love seeing you, it makes the place such a fabulously friendly place to be.

I’m sorry that my blog has been rather quiet this week.  Heat, Summer sunshine, high temperatures have a rather upsetting affect upon me and make some medical problems flair up all at once, leaving me feeling less than amazing.  So my apologies for being a little Missing In Action.  But I bring a note from my mother  husband. [hands note over]

May I say a warm welcome to some new followers.  I won’t name names, but wanted to say hello and to say not to be shy about making a comment.  You’ll soon become part of the great gang we have here and people will begin to recognise your name and even come and visit your own blog (if you have one).

Thank you all (again) so much for coming, it very much means the world to see you here and to chat.

Wishing you all a really fabulous Friday, and an even better weekend.  Don’t put unwrapped boiled sweeties in your pockets.  Don’t cheek your mothers.  Don’t run with scissors.  And … DON’T put peas up your nose!!

May today be fun for you, and … whatever you’re doing, or wherever you’re going,  may your God go with you.

With love ~

 

Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye . . .

Sundays are a kind of big deal in the UK, not to all, but to most people.  It’s a day that families all come together and gather around the table to eat Sunday Lunch, or Dinner – depending on what time they choose to eat this main meal of the day.

It always (normally) consists of a roasted joint of meat, or maybe a chicken, with an assortment of vegetables and other yummy bits and pieces, with lashings of gravy.

However, today, there will be 22 people missing from their families, for these people had their lives ended, without warning, last week, on Monday 22nd May 2017, and it’s the families of these people who I am thinking of today, and sending prayers, heaven bound, for them to be helped to come to terms with their loss.

I know the pain;  the anguish;  the turmoil;  the disbelief … and oh so many other feelings which invade your heart, mind, body and soul as you try to understand what’s happened.  Try to tell yourself to WAKE UP.  WAKE UP!  YOU’RE DREAMING.  Eventually the realisation dawns and you find that it’s not a dream.

For the families and friends of the following people who were there, then gone in a moment,  I wanted to honour their loved ones they lost that night, by sharing a truly beautiful song, written by Beth Nielsen Chapman, and sharing the names of the people who’s lives were ended by a form of  ‘madness’.

  • Megan Hurley,  aged 15,  of Liverpool, England UK
  • Elaine McIver,  aged 43,  of Cheshire, England UK
  • Courtney Boyle, aged 19,  of Gateshead, England UK
  • Philip Tron,  aged 32,  of Gateshead, England UK
  • Wendy Fawell,  aged 50,  of Otley, Leeds, England UK
  • Eilidh MacLeod,  aged 14,  from the Isle of Barra, The Hebrides, Scotland UK.
  • Chloe Rutherford,  aged 17,  of South Shields, England UK
  • Liam Curry,  aged 19,  of South Shields, England UK
  • Sorrell Leczkowski,  aged 14,  of Leeds,  England UK
  • Michelle Kiss,  aged 45, of Blackburn, Lancashire, England UK
  • Jane Tweddle-Taylor,  aged 51,  of Blackpool, England UK
  • Nell Jones,  aged 14,  of Goostrey, Cheshire, England UK
  • Martyn Hett,  aged 29,  of Stockport,  Greater Manchester, England, UK
  • Angelika Klis,  aged 40,  of Poland, Europe
  • Marcin Klis,  aged 42,  of Poland, Europe.
  • Olivia Campbell,  aged 15,  of Bury, Greater Manchester/Lancashire, England UK
  • Alison Howe,  aged 44,  of Royton, Greater Manchester, England UK
  • Lisa Lees,  aged 43,  of Royton, Greater Manchester, England UK
  • Kelly Brewster,  aged 32,  of Sheffield, England UK
  • Saffie Rose Roussos,  aged 8 years old,  of Tarleton, Lancashire.  England UK
  • Georgina Callander,  aged 18,  of Whittle-le-Woods, Lancashire. England UK
  • John Atkinson,  aged 26,  of Radcliffe, Manchester. England UK

(the lyrics to this song are below the video window)

 

In honour 22.5.2017 Beth Nielson Chapman

 

May the families of those lost be surrounded by love, and may not too many Sundays pass before they eventually forget to remember that there is one less plate.  They will never forget who they’ve lost, nor how, but may the pain ease, little by little,  and over-time may they eventually stop having to remember to breathe, and instead just breathe, until one day they are able to fill up their lungs with air once again. 

My love to them, and to you.  Thank you for coming.  May your God go with you.  ~ Cobs. x

Save

Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday, 26th May.  It’s the last Friday of May. Time, as we’ve already agreed, passes fast now.

It’s  ‘been a week’  this week. There’s been some fun.  But then there have been some very low spots.

For those of you who don’t know …  I live in the United Kingdom, and I’m pretty sure you’ll all know about the savage brutality which happened in my country on Monday, the 22nd of May.

The first thing my brain said was:  ‘Why?  Why in the name of God would someone believe that it’s OK to kill someone?  Anyone?  Children, teens, through to Grandma’s and grown ups.  Why?’

And … that’s the thing.  Exactly what is it which happens inside someone’s brain, which convinces them to kill,  maim,  injure,  mutilate,  lacerate,  disfigure,  and mangle innocent people in order to ‘please’  their  God?

Who’s God tells them that this is OK? 

NO God is going to tell ANYONE that it’s OK to kill any other person.  In fact it’s the exact opposite of that which ANY God would say.

Someone is brain-washing these people, because that’s the only way that someone is going to have their normal thinking brain, turned into a willing slave in order to carry out someone elses instructions.

I’ve cried many hot tears over this vile act of evil savagery and even now, 4 days later, I know I’m still not all cried out.    However, something a dear blogging friend, Chicken Grandma,  said on her blog a couple of days ago, as a reply to a comment I posted:  “May we be light, may we be strong, may we be courageous, and may we as people of the world stand united in the process of bringing sanity back.”. 

And she’s right.  We must be strong, courageous, and we must stand united in bringing back the sanity to our World.  We must also try to love those who wish to do us harm.  For two wrongs don’t make a right.  An eye for an eye simply ends up making the whole world blind.

If we are to overcome, we must all stand together as one, and, using love,  save this world.

Shall we move onto something more entertaining?

Mr. Cobs shared this with me this week …

He was reading the papers, on-line, and came across a story about a product being sold on Amazon which tickled the heck out of him.  (He does have a very ‘off centre’ sort of sense of humour – but then, look who he’s married to! :/ lol)

The details of the product read like this:  (if you have trouble reading or looking at any photos, right-click on the photo and click to ‘view image’ – and it will open up in a larger size.)

Loo Brush 1

Now that seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it?  A toilet brush … gives you the idea that you’ll know what to use it for…  however …  someone decided they’d have a little fun with some feedback for this  . . .  (ladies … do you have on your Depends?) . . .

Loo Brush feedback1

Well dear ol’ Mr.C was laughing his head off – but at the same time trying to keep it together, and he was going red in the face and sounded more like Muttley than Cobs the Bogeyman!

Once I’d seen it …  I sounded like that too.  lol.  Apparently it’s quite a trend, I understand, to outdo anyone else with the funny feedback on things.  I found out that reviews for Sugar Free Gummie Bears are among the funniest things to read on Amazon.  lol

What else have I learned this week?

That Indian Curries are now off the menu.   I came late to Indian food.  I was pregnant with daughter number 2 when all of a sudden I announced that the neighbour must have been making a curry, and it smelled DELICIOUS!

Before this I hated curry.  The smell could make me heave.  But suddenly, at six months pregnant with second child, all I wanted was an Indian curry.  Mr. Cobs thought he’d died and gone to heaven!   The very next day he bought everything required for making one, and made it, and I’ve eaten curries Indian food ever since.  Until now.  Now that I’ve reached over the age of  ___  it would seem that my body is now saying NO MORE to Indian food.  Actually … it’s begun saying no more to a fair few different bits of food.  It’s making me quite cross.  How very dare it move me into a boring diet of denial.

Deny me this.  Deny me that.  Deny me everything I might find enjoyable.  It’s even now stopped me from eating ….  CUCUMBER!  Cucumber is basically water with a green skin.  So what’s the problem?  [sigh]

I also learned this week …  yet again .…  that I HATE the hot hot heat of summer.  I live in the south of the country (England) by the sea,  and it get’s quite ‘hot’ here in the summer.  I don’t like the summer much because it causes me to get grumpy and makes some medical ‘issues’ I have so much worse that it’s tiresome and annoying.

Note to other drivers on the road:   Drive NICELY.  Don’t cut me up nor follow so closely behind me that it’s obscene, during the heat of the summer.  Because I become something other than the sweet thing you might think I am to look at me.  Trust me.  Mightier men than you have tried to show me, ‘the little woman’, that their driving is wonderful …  and I’ve left them crying and sucking their thumbs.  DRIVE NICELY in the summer, around where I live,  or else!  You have been warned.

Well … this last week it’s been hot.  Very hot.  Too hot.  VERY MUCH too hot.  We have ceiling fans …  but even those aren’t helping.  They seem to just be moving hot air around.  And now … I’m feeling like a grumpy moo.  I’m hot.  I’m sticky.  And I’m not in a great mood.

Note to self:  When I win the lottery (big time), I’m going to pay someone to fan me.  I shall lay on a bed of hand-made cotton mattresses – 8 deep. (Think Princess and the Pea), wearing nothing but a muslin ‘gown’ (designed by a tent maker), and be fanned by my personal fanner.  Ahhh… just the thought is putting my mood right.  😀

Kind of on the same subject ...  I also learned this week that my Grandsons (Little Cobs) school has been forced to employ a parking attendant for when mummies and daddies collect their darlings from school at the end of the day.  (3pm)

I learned that this parking attendant (a tall man of somewhere between 30 to 40) has let the job title, and the yellow High Vis jacket (much like the motorway police wear) go to his head, and he’s become a bossy so and so.

I watched him, as I was sat roasting at the equivalent to Gas Mark 6, in my car, in the full sun.  He arrived on site and without even leaving his car, he wound down the window and instantly told a woman to move her car out of the reserved parking space. (Which she did.  A rookie mistake)  He then parked his car in that space, got out of his car, put on his yellow High Visibility jacket and then walked over to her where she’d now parked her car on the corner of a bend on the school grounds, and directed her to go and park on the road outside the school.

It was at this point that Mr.Cobs was to hear me say, low and in a rather wishful thinking voice:  “Ohhhh….  I DO hope he comes here and tells me where to park my car”.

Because Little Cobs has a disability (Cerebral Palsy) his mummy and daddy are allowed to park on the school grounds to collect their son.  However, we are sometimes called into action to collect him.  And the problem is that although the school know when we will be coming (instead of Mommy or Daddy), we don’t have the special parking permit which one is supposed to display in order to park on the premises.  So, strictly speaking, he should have noticed that I was parked without a permit.

I was hot.  Roasting in the direct sunshine, and I saw him being a little officious and pumped up at wearing his High Vis. jacket.  I SO wanted him to come to my car and attempt to ‘talk to the little lady’ (me) about parking else where.  I so wanted to explain to him that the only place I would be parking my car other than right where it was,  would require him to bend over.

He went to another car and told the driver off for parking where they were parked.  Yet…. they weren’t in anyone’s way, and they had just loaded a disabled grandchild into the car.  (More grandparents in the same situation as us).  The gentleman behind the wheel obviously told him in a polite way that he wasn’t moving the car because there was another child to collect ….  but he would move the car once said child was collected.

Again…  I voicedGo on…  come and tell me to move my car“.  He didn’t.  Maybe he recognised a woman who was suffering the heat of being baked in a tin box, waiting for a ‘challenging situation’ to happen.  Whatever it was, he gave my car a miss.  Maybe …  next time.  🙂

Well … I’m pretty certain that there are more things which I’ve learned this week, however, my head’s a colander and things drain out of those holes, even when I try to stop them from falling out.

However … we now are in requirement of a few jokes, so without further ado, I give you . . .

THE JOKES

A woman called the airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Sure,”  said customer services, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”   They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

❤  ❤  ❤

Q:  What do Pandas have that no other animal in the world has?

A: click and drag–>  Baby Pandas<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?

A: click and drag–> A stamp.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: How many seconds are there in one year?

A: click and drag-> 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

❤  ❤  ❤

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

❤  ❤  ❤

and finally . . .

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me.  I so enjoy our Friday get togethers.

I hope for you a fabulous Friday.  May the day be peace filled and enjoyable.  And may your weekend be one which leaves you feeling like you’ve actually done something with your time.  That’s always a great feeling!

Sending love, from me in my corner, to you in yours.  Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.

sig-coffee-copy

Things I’ve learned this week.

Happy 19th of May and … HAPPY FRIDAY!  Aw it’s great to see you.  I’m kind of getting rather fond of these Friday Get Togethers.  It’s a bit like Bingo Night, don’t y’think?  lol.

I’ve been through a week of learning some odd and strange things this week.  I’ve come across things, seen things, experienced things and found out some weird things.  All of which I’ve had to use the good ol’ interwebby to discover more.

For instance ….  I learnt a new way of saying:  Avocados.  Yes, there really is.  😀

Imagine, if you will, being the 7-year-old child you used to be, then add a sprinkle of ‘cheeky monkey’,  and a pinch of ‘smiley rascal’,  and just for good measure add a large soup ladle of ‘twinkly smiles’.  Stir the mixture and then continue to read as I educationamalise you.

Say this sentence three times:  Have a CAD dooze.  Say it again… and again.  Have a CAD dooze.

Now you’re going to say it in that way in which we all talk… we miss some letters out of the pronunciation:  So you’re going to miss that letter H and the letter D on CAD.   It now becomes Av a CAdooze.   Make sure that you make that ‘CA’  into a hard sounding KA,  (not soft sounding, like you’d hear in the word: car.  Hard sounding like in the word CAt).   Av a  CAdooze.  Practise it … Av a  CAdooze.  Av a  CAdooze.   Say it out loud:  Av a  CAdooze.

You can now switch your brain back on and listen to the way you are now saying Av a   CAdooze.   Av a  CAdooze.  Av a  CAdooze.  It’s three separate words.  Av | a | Cadooze.

So now I’m going to ask you   . . .  do you  Av a  cadooze?

This week I’ve also learnt about an incredible, unique flower whose petals turn clear as glass when it’s splattered by raindrops.

No, I’m not making it up and its not April the 1st.  The little flowers of this wonderful plant turn from white, to clear when raindrops hit it’s petals.  Take a look ….

Diphylleia Grayi

And this (below) is what it looks like normally, before the rain . . .

Diphylleia Grayi white

It’s called Diphylleia Grayi …  or commonly known as the Skeleton Flower.  It comes from the mountainsides in the colder regions of China and Japan. The flowers come out in late spring, with large, fuzzy green, umbrella-like foliage topped with small clusters of pretty white petals.

Isn’t that just jaw dropping amazing?  I’d never heard of these flowers before.  Have you?

Next!  …  I learned this week that every night, the U.S. Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence are lowered into a bomb-proof safe.  Again … something else I never knew.  It’s the little things like this which make me open my eyes wide and ask myself why I never knew *that*  (whatever *that* might be).

We’ve all, no doubt, been struck by an ice cream headache at least once in our lives. Well …. I found out this week that there is a proper name for it!  The technical name for an ice-cream headache is sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia.  Heckaroonie … I can’t even say it!  LOL.  But I know exactly what it feels like. tsk tsk.

Oh … and I learned this, this week, and it tickled the heck out of me . . .

Marco Polo described them as:-  “scarcely smaller than elephants.  They have the hair of a buffalo and feet like an elephant’s. They have a single large black horn in the middle of the forehead…  They have a head like a wild boar’s…  They spend their time by preference wallowing in mud and slime.  They are very ugly brutes to look at.  They are not at all such as we describe them when we relate that they let themselves be captured by virgins, but clean contrary to our notions.”  What do you think he might have thought he’d found and was describing for us there?

He thought he’d found  . . .   [drumroll] ….  Unicorns.   But it’s believed that what he was actually describing was the one horn rhinoceros.   Bless his deluded little heart.  lol

And finally ….  I learned a few things about chickens …  but the one thing I learned tickled me so I thought it might interest you too:

Apparently, according to those in the know,

  • Danish chickens go gok-gok
  • German chickens gak gak
  • Thai chickens go gook gook;
  • Dutch chickens tok tok
  • Finnish and Hungarian chickens say kot kot.
  • The French hen goes cotcotcodet

Where-as my chickens go:  SHREEeaky BLEEEAKKK FOUR FOUR FOUR cluck cluck! VERY shouty, especially when just about to lay an eggBut the littlest one says:  Paw, paw paw beek beek bok.  Paw paw paw beek beek bok.  She’s a pathetic sounding little thing, but so sweet and so very tiny.  (A Bantam – who has feathered feet.  It makes her look like she’s wearing slippers.  Bless!  lol).

And now ladies and gentlemen, we arrive at the part we’ve all been waiting for ….

THE JOKES

Two sailors are at sea. One says:  “That sure is a lot of water out there!”.   The other replies: “Yeah! And that’s just the top of it!”

Q:  What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?  …  A:  Aye Matey.

A puzzle for you:

  • Michael J Fox has a short one.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one.
  • Madonna doesn’t have one.
  • The Pope doesn’t use his.

What is it?   click, hold the click and drag here for the answer:—> … a last name. 😀

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hyena?  A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of grant funding.

Q: Why don’t anteaters ever get sick?  ….  A: Cause they’re full of anty bodies.

Q:  What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?  A:  Milk and quackers

and finally …

Knock knock. Who’s there?   Salad.   Salad who?   Oh, just lettuce in!

And that’s me done and dusted!

Another week over, and I’m wiser and more educated than I was last week.  So now it’s over to you.  Have you learned anything this week?  If so …  tell me what.  I’d love to hear about something you’ve learned this week.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me.  I love seeing you and spending some time together having a laugh.

May your weekend be thoroughly enjoyable.  And may next week bring you smiles and joy from the moment it begins!  Be good to each other,  and …  may your God go with you.

sig-coffee-copy