Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday, 26th May.  It’s the last Friday of May. Time, as we’ve already agreed, passes fast now.

It’s  ‘been a week’  this week. There’s been some fun.  But then there have been some very low spots.

For those of you who don’t know …  I live in the United Kingdom, and I’m pretty sure you’ll all know about the savage brutality which happened in my country on Monday, the 22nd of May.

The first thing my brain said was:  ‘Why?  Why in the name of God would someone believe that it’s OK to kill someone?  Anyone?  Children, teens, through to Grandma’s and grown ups.  Why?’

And … that’s the thing.  Exactly what is it which happens inside someone’s brain, which convinces them to kill,  maim,  injure,  mutilate,  lacerate,  disfigure,  and mangle innocent people in order to ‘please’  their  God?

Who’s God tells them that this is OK? 

NO God is going to tell ANYONE that it’s OK to kill any other person.  In fact it’s the exact opposite of that which ANY God would say.

Someone is brain-washing these people, because that’s the only way that someone is going to have their normal thinking brain, turned into a willing slave in order to carry out someone elses instructions.

I’ve cried many hot tears over this vile act of evil savagery and even now, 4 days later, I know I’m still not all cried out.    However, something a dear blogging friend, Chicken Grandma,  said on her blog a couple of days ago, as a reply to a comment I posted:  “May we be light, may we be strong, may we be courageous, and may we as people of the world stand united in the process of bringing sanity back.”. 

And she’s right.  We must be strong, courageous, and we must stand united in bringing back the sanity to our World.  We must also try to love those who wish to do us harm.  For two wrongs don’t make a right.  An eye for an eye simply ends up making the whole world blind.

If we are to overcome, we must all stand together as one, and, using love,  save this world.

Shall we move onto something more entertaining?

Mr. Cobs shared this with me this week …

He was reading the papers, on-line, and came across a story about a product being sold on Amazon which tickled the heck out of him.  (He does have a very ‘off centre’ sort of sense of humour – but then, look who he’s married to! :/ lol)

The details of the product read like this:  (if you have trouble reading or looking at any photos, right-click on the photo and click to ‘view image’ – and it will open up in a larger size.)

Loo Brush 1

Now that seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it?  A toilet brush … gives you the idea that you’ll know what to use it for…  however …  someone decided they’d have a little fun with some feedback for this  . . .  (ladies … do you have on your Depends?) . . .

Loo Brush feedback1

Well dear ol’ Mr.C was laughing his head off – but at the same time trying to keep it together, and he was going red in the face and sounded more like Muttley than Cobs the Bogeyman!

Once I’d seen it …  I sounded like that too.  lol.  Apparently it’s quite a trend, I understand, to outdo anyone else with the funny feedback on things.  I found out that reviews for Sugar Free Gummie Bears are among the funniest things to read on Amazon.  lol

What else have I learned this week?

That Indian Curries are now off the menu.   I came late to Indian food.  I was pregnant with daughter number 2 when all of a sudden I announced that the neighbour must have been making a curry, and it smelled DELICIOUS!

Before this I hated curry.  The smell could make me heave.  But suddenly, at six months pregnant with second child, all I wanted was an Indian curry.  Mr. Cobs thought he’d died and gone to heaven!   The very next day he bought everything required for making one, and made it, and I’ve eaten curries Indian food ever since.  Until now.  Now that I’ve reached over the age of  ___  it would seem that my body is now saying NO MORE to Indian food.  Actually … it’s begun saying no more to a fair few different bits of food.  It’s making me quite cross.  How very dare it move me into a boring diet of denial.

Deny me this.  Deny me that.  Deny me everything I might find enjoyable.  It’s even now stopped me from eating ….  CUCUMBER!  Cucumber is basically water with a green skin.  So what’s the problem?  [sigh]

I also learned this week …  yet again .…  that I HATE the hot hot heat of summer.  I live in the south of the country (England) by the sea,  and it get’s quite ‘hot’ here in the summer.  I don’t like the summer much because it causes me to get grumpy and makes some medical ‘issues’ I have so much worse that it’s tiresome and annoying.

Note to other drivers on the road:   Drive NICELY.  Don’t cut me up nor follow so closely behind me that it’s obscene, during the heat of the summer.  Because I become something other than the sweet thing you might think I am to look at me.  Trust me.  Mightier men than you have tried to show me, ‘the little woman’, that their driving is wonderful …  and I’ve left them crying and sucking their thumbs.  DRIVE NICELY in the summer, around where I live,  or else!  You have been warned.

Well … this last week it’s been hot.  Very hot.  Too hot.  VERY MUCH too hot.  We have ceiling fans …  but even those aren’t helping.  They seem to just be moving hot air around.  And now … I’m feeling like a grumpy moo.  I’m hot.  I’m sticky.  And I’m not in a great mood.

Note to self:  When I win the lottery (big time), I’m going to pay someone to fan me.  I shall lay on a bed of hand-made cotton mattresses – 8 deep. (Think Princess and the Pea), wearing nothing but a muslin ‘gown’ (designed by a tent maker), and be fanned by my personal fanner.  Ahhh… just the thought is putting my mood right.  😀

Kind of on the same subject ...  I also learned this week that my Grandsons (Little Cobs) school has been forced to employ a parking attendant for when mummies and daddies collect their darlings from school at the end of the day.  (3pm)

I learned that this parking attendant (a tall man of somewhere between 30 to 40) has let the job title, and the yellow High Vis jacket (much like the motorway police wear) go to his head, and he’s become a bossy so and so.

I watched him, as I was sat roasting at the equivalent to Gas Mark 6, in my car, in the full sun.  He arrived on site and without even leaving his car, he wound down the window and instantly told a woman to move her car out of the reserved parking space. (Which she did.  A rookie mistake)  He then parked his car in that space, got out of his car, put on his yellow High Visibility jacket and then walked over to her where she’d now parked her car on the corner of a bend on the school grounds, and directed her to go and park on the road outside the school.

It was at this point that Mr.Cobs was to hear me say, low and in a rather wishful thinking voice:  “Ohhhh….  I DO hope he comes here and tells me where to park my car”.

Because Little Cobs has a disability (Cerebral Palsy) his mummy and daddy are allowed to park on the school grounds to collect their son.  However, we are sometimes called into action to collect him.  And the problem is that although the school know when we will be coming (instead of Mommy or Daddy), we don’t have the special parking permit which one is supposed to display in order to park on the premises.  So, strictly speaking, he should have noticed that I was parked without a permit.

I was hot.  Roasting in the direct sunshine, and I saw him being a little officious and pumped up at wearing his High Vis. jacket.  I SO wanted him to come to my car and attempt to ‘talk to the little lady’ (me) about parking else where.  I so wanted to explain to him that the only place I would be parking my car other than right where it was,  would require him to bend over.

He went to another car and told the driver off for parking where they were parked.  Yet…. they weren’t in anyone’s way, and they had just loaded a disabled grandchild into the car.  (More grandparents in the same situation as us).  The gentleman behind the wheel obviously told him in a polite way that he wasn’t moving the car because there was another child to collect ….  but he would move the car once said child was collected.

Again…  I voicedGo on…  come and tell me to move my car“.  He didn’t.  Maybe he recognised a woman who was suffering the heat of being baked in a tin box, waiting for a ‘challenging situation’ to happen.  Whatever it was, he gave my car a miss.  Maybe …  next time.  🙂

Well … I’m pretty certain that there are more things which I’ve learned this week, however, my head’s a colander and things drain out of those holes, even when I try to stop them from falling out.

However … we now are in requirement of a few jokes, so without further ado, I give you . . .

THE JOKES

A woman called the airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Sure,”  said customer services, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”   They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

❤  ❤  ❤

Q:  What do Pandas have that no other animal in the world has?

A: click and drag–>  Baby Pandas<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?

A: click and drag–> A stamp.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: How many seconds are there in one year?

A: click and drag-> 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

❤  ❤  ❤

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

❤  ❤  ❤

and finally . . .

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me.  I so enjoy our Friday get togethers.

I hope for you a fabulous Friday.  May the day be peace filled and enjoyable.  And may your weekend be one which leaves you feeling like you’ve actually done something with your time.  That’s always a great feeling!

Sending love, from me in my corner, to you in yours.  Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.

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Racing towards a Birthday

Guess who had a play in their craft room?  [grins]  I’m still not feeling 100%  and the mojo is still M.I.A.  and hiding somewhere in the craft room, but I’m still on the case and, with the help of our dog (an animal who can smell a biscuit crumb from 30 yards) I’m hoping to find that missing mojo very soon.

In the meantime I put together a Birthday card made with components from Hunkydory.

1-front

It’s a 3D card which folds completely flat, so no need for a big box.  When opened up (into an X shape) the middle sections are hung from invisible thread (from my sewing threads box)  and the two dimpled gold rings, and the central disc picturing the racing car, spin around – in a slight breeze (from opening a door nearby), or if you blow very gently on them.

below are three photos which show each ‘quarter’ of the card so that you can see it from all sides.

So – finally,  one card done!  That’s a big move forward in the right direction.  I’m off again to the craft room this afternoon, so fingers crossed …  there might be something else to share on another day soon. [GRINS a very hopeful grin!]

Happy Wednesday the 18th of January!  Did you know that … on this day in History:-

  • 1644 –  Perplexed Pilgrims in Boston reported America’s 1st UFO sighting
  • 1788 –  The first elements of the First Fleet carrying 736 convicts from England to Australia arrives at Botany Bay to set up a penal colony
  • 1896 – 1st demonstration of an X-ray machine in US.
  • 1919 – Bentley Motors Limited is founded
  • 1944 –  The Metropolitan Opera House in New York City hosts a jazz concert for the first time. The performers were Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Lionel Hampton, Artie Shaw, Roy Eldridge and Jack Teagarden.
  • 1964 – Beatles 1st appear on Billboard Chart (I Want to Hold Your Hand-#35)
  • 1967 – ‘Boston Strangler’ sentenced to life
  • 1973 – John Cleese’s final episode on “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” on BBC TV
  • 1980 – Pink Floyd’s “Wall” hits #1
  • 1981 – Wendy O Williams arrested in Milwaukee for on-stage obscenity
  • 1991 – Longest tennis match at the Australian Open, Boris Becker beats Italy’s Omar Camporese in 5 hours & 11 mins

That’s just a little handful of things which happened on this day in history.  Wikipedia    have a huuuge list, and if you’d like to read more about todays date simply click on the name.

Hope your week is off to a good start and that the weather is treating you kindly, wherever you are on the planet.  But … if the weather is fowl and you have bills to pay you’d rather not be paying … just think … you’re in a better place than you could be.  So please look at what you’re blessed with, and have a truly lovely,  blessed,  rest of your day.

Sending squidges from me in my corner to you in yours.

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What I learned in 2016


Instead of a ‘What I’ve Learned This Week’ post (which I normally share on a Friday),   I felt it would be appropriate to make a post about some of the things I’ve learned this last year which we’ve just said goodbye to.

Some of the things life taught me during 2016 are fabulous, and some aren’t.

I’m a believer in a particular ‘thing’, which life taught me when I was in my early teens, which I call:  If something happens,  it happens For A Reason.

It might be a truly wonderful, amazing, biggest wish and want of your heart and soul.  Or it could be something not so wanted or desired.  However, what ever this ‘thing’ is, it will have been placed on your pathway for a reason, and you are meant to learn something from it.

So let’s begin the journey of discovery about what I Learned during 2016, shall we?  Are you strapped in securely?  Do you have your crash helmet secured?  Clean underwear on?  Okey Dokey, hold on tightly to the person sat next to you, because that way it’s less likely that you’ll fly off half way round the ride!

I learned last year ….  that when I finally find some moccasin slippers which fit beautifully, with good soles, and are lined with cotton inside them (because of my stupidly sensitive feet) …  I should buy two or even three pairs, because when the pair I originally chose, and have been wearing till they fell apart, I won’t be able to find any more, anywhere near as comfortable or lovely as them, and the place I bought them from changed the design and put non-cotton linings in their new design.  I’ve been looking since February of 2016 for a new pair, and so far I’ve found nothing which comes anywhere near.  I’ve bought new slippersin fact I’ve bought four pairs of different slippers since then, but none of them are anywhere near as comfortable and, to be truthful, I hate them all.

The older I’ve got, the more I’ve grown to appreciate bits of my body, in particular my feet.  Look after your feet people, because they have to last you for the rest of your life.  Buy shoes which fit.  Don’t wear heels every day – swap things around – to give your feet chance to work properly.  And don’t wear anything which is tight around the toes. It’s not brain surgery, and it’s simple to understand.  Look after your feet.

I also learned that I need to Plan Ahead.  Not for the emergency things, like a power cut and we had no electricity – because I plan for all emergencies like that.

(In fact, I plan so ‘beautifully’ (?) for that sort of emergency that if there were an actual power cut here where we live, I could give every neighbour candles and still have enough for us).

I need to stop waiting till the last moment to do some of the regular things – like make an appointment for the doctor (I wait until I’m ready to be admitted to hospital before I’ll give in and make an appointment),  – and instead of putting things off,  I need to do things there and then(!) so that they’re already done and ready for when they need to be ready.  Case in point:  This Post!

I knew I was going to do this post and I knew when I needed it done for.  And yet, here I am, on the last day of 2016, tapping away on my keyboard knowing that this post HAS to be ready to ‘go live’ in the early hours of 2017.  Why on earth didn’t I begin building this post when I sat having a rest or a coffee, or even last week?!  The answer is:  Because I’m a dimwit!  That’s why!

PLAN AHEAD WOMAN ... and stop leaving ‘it’ till the final moment!

Next!:

I learned during 2016  that Crafting is an obsession to me.  And not only is crafting itself the obsession, but crafty shopping is also an obsession.  I will go to a store with a list of (say) three or four items that I need.  However, when I hit that shop with all those lovely crafty goodies, I go batship crazy and am like a child who’s on a sugar high and been given permission to have as many things as they can stuff into a trolley within two hours.  Yes seriously.  I will sometimes catch the bored stiff eyes of ‘Cobs The Bogeyman’ (aka Mr.Cobs) as he wanders around after me (following me like a little lost puppy) asking …  “can we go now?”. 

The man should be awarded a Knighthood in the New Year Honours List (which we have here in the UK), for Services to Retail;  Excelling in the Art of Husbandry; and generally being Mr. Wonderful.  (although that last one can sometimes come into question).

“Arise Sir Cobs.” she says. [as the Queen finishes dobbing him on each shoulder with her trusty sword].

NEXT!

I’ve learned this year that …  New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
As a crafter this is the saddest bit of stuff I’ve ever learned in my whole life.  I’m always twinkling with glitter, even if I haven’t used any for a week.  A spell in my craft room seems to cover me in glitter, which I leave trails of behind me, wherever I roam, or go.  (Including into the loo – which tickles Mr.C – but I won’t tell you what he says about it.  Suffice to say it has something to do with storage of the twinkly stuff and my knickers)

NEXT!:

I won’t make up stories about my parents being the most amazing parents in the world.  My parents weren’t the best parents in the world,  but they were the best ‘THEY‘ could be.  They taught me many lessons.  Life Lessons about:

  • appreciating every thing I had.  From the toys that were given to me as a child, to the teachers I had at school and the lessons I learned from them.
  • How to make friends and be a friend.  ( I still have problems making friends because I’m SO painfully shy).
  • Ensuring that I knew the importance of keeping Sunday as a family day and Christmas and Easter,  and Birthdays, as special days and honour the family by spending time with them – all of them – from my parents to my Grandma & Grandad, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins etc.
  • To look at both sides of any choices which were placed in front of me.  Good-v-Bad.  To make sure that I had looked at things from every angle in order to make sure I made the right choice for me.
  • To have an opinion.  Aw heckaroonie,  I could count on my Mom to have an opinion, and to feel free to voice it –  even if I or anyone else disagreed with her, she had her opinion and would stick to it too.
  • To be willing to help.  From the age of around 12, I used to do the family weekly shopping all by myself.  My mother would be working and my father wasn’t the shopping sort of chap, so I was left a list next the kitchen sink, every Saturday morning, along with money, and I had to go all by myself to the local shopping centre, and visit the big Supermarket;  greengrocer;  butchers;  newsagent;  and possibly the pharmacy too, in order to get all the things on the list, within the money that I’d been left to buy it with.  Then bring all those groceries home – walking all the way home carrying four bags full of groceries.  This taught me a huge lesson as a child:  How to be an important part of the family.  How to manage money;  How to Budget;  How to Shop for a whole family with all their various likes and dislikes;  and …  Spend money on the right things when that was the only option open.  As an adult, when I married, I was so grateful for those shopping and money management lessons.

I learned many more lessons from my parents and I’m grateful for them.  However, a lesson they never got the chance to teach me (and I so wish they had)  was how to deal with someone, a family member in this case, who not just wounded me but broke my heart with their words,  all within about 90 seconds,  and without me getting chance to ask why?  What?  How?  When?  Who?  Why?  WHY??

My parents aren’t around now for me to talk to and ask advice from on how to deal with what happened and to share with them how it’s affected me, and over the last year I’ve wished daily that I had someone older and wiser to advise me, and to just listen.  Before now, I’ve had my mother in law to chat with, and she’s been brilliant.  But she’s getting on in age and is showing some signs of a dementia type of illness so of course I simply won’t give her a problem like this for her to listen to.

So it’s been left to me to ‘grow up’ and get to a place where I have come to a decision about what I have to do.

This whole thing happened because I’d offered this particular family member help to clean their house.  I’d offered before and they seemed to welcome the idea of this help –  things were getting on top of them and all sorts of stuff had become very difficult for them as they were suffering with depression.

Offering to help with the cleaning was the only thing I knew how to do which I thought might help in some way.  But I’d been waiting for them to tell me when they’d like me to come over – for it’s how we’d left it.  I offered, they brightened up and said yes, and said they’d let me know when.  I’d waited weeks and weeks, and wondered if perhaps they didn’t like to ask, so I offered again, and it tipped this person over the edge of reason and they simply exploded.  They shouted an awful lot of hurtful things at me, and told me that they didn’t love me, or like me, and that they didn’t want anything more to do with me. It was such a total shock because we’d always got on really well.

So … I finally learned in the last week of 2016,  that for my own sake, I have to leave this deep wound alone and move on.  Mr.Cobs has helped me see that after 15 months, if nothing has put things right after this length of time, then I HAVE to let it go and move on from it.  For the sake of my heart, and my health, I have to leave this behind me and allow my heart time to heal.

It’s difficult because I hate to see how depression is keeping this person fixed, almost like a prisoner, in one place and no longer enjoying life.  But, as Mr.Cobs has said over and over – I have to let it go.  I cannot continue to fret over this.

I’ve learned that I’m grateful for my parents being the best parents they could be, teaching me, showing me and making me aware of the things that are important.  And … I think they would have told me I realised,  probably about eight months ago,  that I HAD to just let go of this ‘thing’,  stop turning it over and over inside my heart and mind,  and instead move on.

So that’s what I’m doing.   I’m moving on Mom. ❤

Y’know …  I felt as if I just heard her say, over my left shoulder,  ‘Good girl.’

*I tell you none of this for sympathy …  and I want none.   I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned last year, and this was a really BIG learn for me.

OK… moving on:  NEXT!

I learned, during 2016, that it takes me two months to learn to write the new year numbers down on anything that I need to write it down on.  So I’m going to try harder with 2017!

NEXT!

I learned all over again in 2016, how much I enjoy writing posts for this blog.  I’ve ‘met’ so many wonderful people via the blog and I cannot begin to tell you how enriching it is to know you all.  YOU reading this now.  YOU enrich my life by being in it.  So I take this opportunity to thank you for being who you are.  You’re truly amazing.  (And boy oh boy, you’re such a blessing!)

NEXT:

I’ve learned how much I adore the simple jokes in life.  Complicated jokes are great … but sometimes they can be a bit too clever and they make my brain hurt trying to keep up with them.  But the simple, almost childlike jokes … aw, they are the jaw achers which I adore.  I shall attempt to remember to add a small handful at the end of this ‘ream of internet paper’.

NEXT!

I’ve learned the importance of an afternoon snack. 4pm (ish) seems to be the point at which my sugar levels drop to a low and I will either fall asleep in my chair or take myself off to bed for a nap.  However … if I have something snackwise, at around 4pm, then I’m good to go for the rest of the day.  Have a snack!

And finally….

I’ve learned the importance of not hitting your knee on a substantial coffee table, made of 2″thick pine and made in such a way that a family of four could live in it in an emergency.  Actually … I learnt this lesson on the closing moments of 2016 … so only just, and the swear words are still bouncing off the walls of my brain!  Grrrrr!  Gosh, that knee hurts now, and it’s really, really hot to touch and swollen too!

OK…  I know you’ve been waiting for this part ….  here come the jokes:

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. Because,  as the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
~~~~~~~
What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’?
 . . . . . .  One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter
~~~~~~~
Two Clowns divorce.  A Custardy battle follows.
~~~~~~~
Question for you …  Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from earth?
~~~~~~~

An annoying person told me “People have 2 Ears and 1 mouth, so they should listen more than they speak.”

I replied “People also have 1 mouth and 2 legs, so maybe you should shut up and go away.”

~~~~~~~

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. After that, everything else was ‘Made in China’.

~~~~~~~

WomenA species that loathes you for asking their age,but will torture you forever if you forget their birthday.

What is red and bad for your teeth?  . . .   A brick!

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Love means nothing to a tennis player.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
What are you? An owl?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Smell map
Smell map who?
If you’re not giggling by now,  say it out loud.  If you’re still not giggling after that then click and hold the click over this —>“Smell map who?”  sounds like  ‘Smell my poo’ when said out loud<—

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I’m knocking.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Bless you and cover your mouth next time.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
OK, W. H. O.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
I eat map.
I eat map who?
Oh yuk!   That’s disgusting!  (you might have to say it out loud if you haven’t got it yet).

And finally …..

Wife texts husband: Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?

Husband texts back: Love, do you remember the jewellery shop on Regent Street where you saw a diamond necklace and fell in love with it and I couldn’t afford it then, but I said ‘I will get it one day for you’?

Wife replies (all excited): Yes I do, I do.

Husband texts back to her: I am in the pub just next door to that.

fnar fnar!

Well I guess that there’s only one thing left for me to do now and that’s this (It’s only 34 seconds long):-

 

Remember you can reset your resolutions on January 14th (Orthodox New Year) and February 8th (Chinese New Year). After that, even I can’t help you.
I personally have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have.
May love, peace and harmony be yours in 2017, and my greatest wish for you is for contentment to be yours.  For when you have contentment, you then have everything you could possibly want.  Happy New Year to you!

With love ~

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Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm – 2

We first met Anne and Malcolm a few weeks ago (if you missed the first post you can find it HERE), and now they’re back again for another visit, to share with us all their unique observations on Life living with a Crafter via the use of photographs.

For those who haven’t ‘met’  Anne and Malcolm,  then  . . .  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne. A glimpse into the exciting world of Crafters and their spouses.   

(Anne and Malcolm exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE  COBWEB  CATALOGUE

of a Living  (in my imaginationCrafter & Spouse

voodoo-dolly-1

Malcolm loved that Anne was so happy in the craft room he’d ‘built’ for her, but one thing didn’t go down well with him at all.  The Voodoo Dolly strapped to the big star.  He wished with all his heart that she’d part company with that, because it gave him the heebie-jeebies and he didn’t like to go into the craftroom to get any of his cooking spices which Anne insisted should be in her craft room.  It made him wonder exactly what sort of ‘craft’ Anne was practising!

~~~~~~~

the-sewing-room-2

Anne had dropped (very) heavy hints to Malcolm, and even left brochures around the house  in the hope he’d get the idea about what she dearly wanted as a Birthday gift this year.  But on her Birthday, all he’d bought her was a wall mounted thingy-ma-jiggy-me-bob on which to store all her cotton reels,  and he still hadn’t noticed the lack of a sewing machine in her Sewing Room!

~~~~~~~

naughty-basket-and-glass-jar-jails-3

Anne was far happier now that she’d finally got
a ‘Naughty Basket’ for the fabrics which were
misbehaving,  and two Glass Jail Jars for those really
BAD fabrics who were the real trouble makers in
the bunch!  She was determined to teach them
a lesson!

~~~~~~

hastily-packed-suitcases-4

Back from their shopping trip, Malcolm took Anne’s new blue basket, filled with all the ribbons she’d bought that morning, down to her basement craft room.  That’s when he noticed the hastily packed suitcases under her fabric cutting desk.   The neighbours could hear that trouble was brewing in  ‘Chez Malcanne’,   as Malcolm climbed the stairs from the basement, two at a time, shouting:  “Anne!  ANNE!!”    with a rather cross tone to his voice.

~~~~~~~~

clean-up-5

While Anne was away visiting her mother for a couple of days, Malcolm had planned to clean up her crafting room as a surprise for her upon her return.  He thought she’d love how clean and tidy it was now, and also thought she’d adore all the storage boxes with all their little drawers which he’d sorted her things into, and then spent four hours writing little sticky labels out for each drawer.  Sadly, we crafters among us know exactly what was going to happen the minute she stepped inside that door.  She would look around that room with horror mounting and registering on her face.  It was going to take her years to find all her lovely things – which despite what he might have thought,   were all in their correct places (for her) and she prided herself on knowing that she could put her hand on ANYTHING she required because she’d known exactly where it all was!  But not any longer!    Malcolm was going to be TOAST!

~~~~~~~~~

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One corner of Anne’s Stitch, Knit and Sew Crafting Room was dedicated to what Anne affectionately called her ‘woolly life‘.  However,  Malcolm suspected that this corner had nothing to do with crafting, and instead believed it was a secret Breeding Programme.  The mound seemed to increase weekly, and yet Anne always laughed and denied it when he suggested to her that she’d been out buying more wool again.

~~~~~~~~

Well,  we’ve turned over few more pages of the ‘COBWEB CATALOGUE of life with a Crafter  & Spouse’,  for a bit of Wednesday afternoon fun.  I hope they’ve raised a few smiles, a smattering of gentle laughs,  or even modicum of cheer.

Have a truly blessed rest of your day.

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The photos chosen for this post are randomly chosen and found on the internet, so publicly available.   I sadly don’t know who the photos belong to, so if you are the owner of any of them, please drop me a comment detailing which photo is yours, and giving me a link to the original posting of it, and  I’ll be thrilled to credit you to the photo.

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Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm

Some of you may be familiar with a website which has some great photographs taken from catalogues, to which they put their own spin on what you’re looking at and end up with  the funniest things which make me hoot with laughter.

Well, I have a confession …  when I look at pictures craft rooms, on the inter webby, I have that same thing go on inside my head.  I will fall in love with craft rooms, and gaze at them longingly – wishing that my craft room was *that* big, or *that* colour or *that* clean – but I know it’s never going to happen.  However .. after I’ve fallen in lurve with the craft room … I will then spot a little something which begins to tickle me.  From that tickle comes a bubbling feeling, like fizzing champagne bubbles going crazy around my solar plexus, and from that point on, all heck breaks loose and the laughter pops out.  Not normal laughing … noooo.. the type of laughing which has tears running down my face laughing.

So, since it’s Monday, and Monday can be …  very  ‘Mondayish’ … I thought we’d get the week off to a slightly better start than  ‘Mondayish’.   So team …  Get your chuckle muscles ready . . .   (I’ll start you off gently with just five pictures,  . . .  so that none of you break your chuckle muscle) …

  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne.  (who exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE COBWEB CATALOGUE  ~  of a Living  (in my imagination)  Crafter

chadelier-crafting

    ❤

bread-bin-crafting

  ❤

sewing-machine-telephone-table-crafting

  ❤

bucket-crafting

  ❤

spice-cupboard-crafting

  ❤

natural-mothering-crafter

Happy Monday!  I hope that your chuckle muscle is in good repair, and that you’ve just given it a little work out.  Hopefully there will be more to smile about in your coming week.

Have a truly beautiful day my friends.  Let’s do it to them before they do it to us. (be kind that is).

Sending much love to you there in your corner, from me in mine. 

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Things I learned this Week . . .

Happy Friday!  …  and welcome to Cobs Lessons of Life.  A snapshot of a week spent being taught certain lessons which we all run into from time to time – but I’m sharing my lessons with you so that you learn in a fun way, . . .  and have a laugh at my predicaments.  or even go away after reading this post feeling so much wiser and far more clever than you started out!

Regular readers may remember that last week I told you my tale of woe about having absolutely no electricity in my craft room.  All the electrics went pop on Wednesday of last week and despite Mr. Cobs efforts, the electricity was no more.

Thankfully, my Super Hero:  Electric Man,  came Friday morning last week and managed to locate the problem, sort it out, and the magic which is electricity was restored!

But I still haven’t told you what caused the loss of electricity in my craft room yet.

I bet that you couldn’t ever guess what caused all the electricity to suddenly disappear in my craft room – not even if I gave you two weeks to come up with your best guess.  But .. let’s give this a moment, and let you have one stab at what you think it might have been.

Go on…  I’ll give you chance to make just one guess.  Just one.  Make it outrageous.  See if you can guess.

Now let’s see how many of your were right ….

What caused my entire craft room to be plunged into the bleak dark ages of no electricity was … A WEB SITE.  Yes, you really did read that correctly.  Maybe I should be more specific so that you can picture how this loss of electricity occurred ….  I lost all the electricity in my craft room simply because of a particular type of web site,  more commonly known as . . .  a spider’s web.

Yes, honestly truthfully.  Honest to Dog.  Cross my heart and all that stuff.

A spider had crawled into an electric socket and decided that he would make his home there.  He’d spun himself a rather intricate web (my Super Hero Electric Man told me it was really quite pretty one).  And it was this web which shorted out all of my electricity!

Can you believe it?  No me neither.  If this was anyone but my Super Hero (aka Chris) , I would have given them a shifty look which told them that I didn’t believe them.  But Electric Man is brilliant.  He doesn’t tell me tall tales.  He also told me that it was something that he’d actually seen before!  Along with he told me, slugs and snails which had crawled into sockets, and wiped out the power!  And there was I thinking being a Super Hero was a glamorous job!

What else did I learn this week .

  • That I miss the funny people who were around (well-known folks of TV and Stand Up comedians on tours in theatres etc) in the 80’s  and 90’s  – such as Pam Ayres, Mike Harding,  Brian Connolly,  Robin Williams, Steve Martin, John Candy, Mel Brooks, Bob Newhart.  Do I miss them … or is it that I miss the  whole era when comedy wasn’t filled with filth, filthy words, and downright disagreeable subjects – all of which todays comedians seem to earn a fortune from injecting into their acts.  I don’t understand it and can’t understand why people find it funny.

I also learned that …

  • Harry Potter’s house is valued at £475,000 ($615,000)  (The house where he lived with his uncle and aunt).

and . . .

  • That I really like this blog and LOVE blogging.  I’ve ‘met’ so many really lovely people because of this blog;  and I’ve also learned tons by reading other blogs.  Yes .. blogging, for me at least, is an experience I’ve found to be truly wonderful.

also . . .

  •   More than 200 UK drivers are at least 100 years old.

and …

  • The best coffee can be found in our cottage, at 4pm every single day,  especially after a tough day, a painful day, a miserable day, or just any ol’ day …  and it’s made by Mr. C,  – just to make me feel human again.  ( what can I say? The guy’s brilliant.  I got a good one.)

Oh ... and this one made my eyes stretch to the size of saucers:

  • The ad executive behind the Nike slogan  “Just do it”  got the idea from the final words of condemned murderer Gary Gilmore.  Ohhh, this made me feel like I didn’t want to ever buy Nike again.  What a way to get a slogan!

And finally … I’ve learned that if I don’t get enough sleep, the sleep I do get is peppered with the strangest dreams, which ‘feel’  like it’s real and that the *things* actually really have happened.   I need to get more sleep.

So … that’s what I’ve learned this week.  Now it’s over to you.  What lessons has life taught you this week?  Not to spend so much money?  That you won’t die if you eat some treat or other?  That she was right …. Your Mother DOES know best?    Or something else?  Do share it with us all.  We won’t judge and we won’t laugh … unless you want us to, and then we’ll howl with laughter so loud that you’ll hear us!

In the meantime …  may I wish you a totally Fabulous Friday.  A very special Saturday, and an easy, peaceful, gentle, and sunny Sunday.

Be careful out there.  There are nuts on the road and there might even be one in your car too!  

Squidges from me in my corner to you in yours …

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Things I learned this Week

Welcome to this weeks ~ Lessons in the art of Life ~ . . . as per Cobs.

Well, I’ve learnt an assortment of lessons this week.  Some of them welcome, one of them tiresome and others that are just snippets of “well I never knew that”!

I have learned that Virgin Media (who supply my cable, TV, broadband and telephone –  i.e. the whole kit and caboodle) can keep you ‘holding’ on the phone for an INORDINATELY long time (i.e. 1 hour 35 minutes) when you call them to tell them that you’re planning to disconnect from them and go to another supplier if they don’t get their act sorted out and change back the monthly charge to what I was paying before they hoiked the charge up by £39.49 per month.

Because I’m a clever, canny lass when it comes to negotiating new deals, I keep an almost blow-by-blow account of what was agreed, and get the FULL name of the person I was doing the deal with and even make a note of the time the call began and ended  ….  Virgin couldn’t do anything but remove the extra charges for the rest of the term of our contract.  However, in an effort to make things as difficult as possible, they (Virgin) passed me from pillar to post, one person after another,  possibly in the hope that I’d get either annoyed or tired and put down the phone.  I didn’t.  I don’t.  And, unlike Mr. Cobs, I don’t lose my temper either.  I, in fact, get calmer and c.a.l.m.e.r. until I’m ultra calm and laid back,  ….  but ever-so-much more determined that I am going to get the result I require.

I learned from this experience this week that Virgin might waste a bit of my time by keeping me listening to music(? that term is questionable for what I was listening to), but ultimately it is they who will be jumping through the hoops when it comes to keeping THIS customer happy.

I also learned this week that I actually can still work in my craft room – sort of – when there is no electricity to be found in there at all.  Although – it’s a much quieter sort of crafting and I don’t particularly like it very much.

The electrics in my craft room suddenly tripped on Wednesday and nothing would or could get the electrics to work again.  It’s apparently something to do with one of the sockets in there.  Fortunately my craft room is a completely separate building from the house (in our detached, converted garage) so the house electrics are fine.  Our Electrician called out on Wednesday to see if anything needed to be ordered, and he’s back again Friday (today) to [hopefully] fix the problem.  While he’s here I’m getting him to put some new spots in the ceiling as the ones that are there were fitted by Noah when he arrived in the harbour, sailing on his big boat, so they’re old and need changing. (The detail about Noah fitting the current lights might not actually be totally true).

I’ve also learned some random facts about life in general, which I’m not sure will ever impress anyone or even if I’ll ever need these intelligent bits of information, but I know them now so in the interests of sharing the knowledge and joy I’ll show you what I learned…

The Sun is (roughly) 400 times larger than the moon.  It looks, to us here on Earth, like the moon and sun are the same size, but that’s simply because the Sun is (approximately) 400 times further away from us, which creates the illusion that the Sun and Moon in the sky above, are the same size!

Your brain weighs about 3 pounds. Of that, the dry weight is 60% fat, making your brain the fattiest organ!   Twenty-five percent of the body’s cholesterol resides within the brain.  Cholesterol is an integral part of every brain cell. Without adequate cholesterol, brain cells die.  GASP!  Who knew?!

Ninety minutes of sweating can temporarily shrink your brain as much as one year of aging.  Your brain is 73% water. It takes only 2% dehydration to affect your attention, memory and other cognitive skills.

No one knows for sure, but the latest estimate is that our brains contain roughly 86 billion brain cells.  Each neuron connects with, on average, 40,000 synapses.  A piece of brain tissue the size of a grain of sand contains 100,000 neurons and 1 billion synapses all communicating with each other.  Babies have big heads to hold rapidly growing brains. A 2-year-old’s brain is 80% of adult size.  Teen brains are not fully formed. It isn’t until about the age of 25 that the human brain reaches full maturity.

Brain information moves anywhere between 1 mph and an impressive 268 miles per hour. This is faster than Formula 1 race cars which top out at 240 mph.  Your brain generates about 12-25 watts of electricity. This is enough to power a low-wattage LED light.  (NOW THERE’S AN IDEA FOR MY CRAFT ROOM! … aw, no, that’s a ‘normal’ brain, not just one brain cell – which is what I have).

The average brain is believed to generate around 50,000 thoughts per day. Disturbingly, it’s estimated that in most people 70% of these thoughts are negative.

Our attention spans are getting shorter. In 2000, the average attention span was 12 seconds. Now it’s 8 seconds. That’s shorter than the 9-second attention span of the average goldfish.  Yes, really!

Brain cells cannibalize themselves as a last-ditch source of energy to ward off starvation. So in very real ways dieting can force your brain to eat itself.

In spite of what you’ve been told, alcohol doesn’t kill brain cells. It “only” damages the connective tissue at the end of neurons.

Memories are shockingly unreliable. Emotions, motivation, cues, context and frequency of use can all affect how accurately you remember something.

Memory is more of an activity than a place.  Any given memory is deconstructed and distributed in different parts of the brain. Then, for the memory to be recalled, it gets reconstructed from the individual fragments.  Like a jigsaw in a box.  You have to reconstruct the photo on the front of the box.

Do you feel even more clever now?

Random Quote I read for the first time this week and HAVE to agree with:

  • For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
    – Doug Larson –

And finally …

Two words.  If you haven’t already met ‘her’ on the internet or on You Tube …   DR. PIMPLE POPPER!

OH.  MY.  DOG.!!!  

If you haven’t ‘met’ her name before, then please make sure that A) you aren’t squeamish about pimples being popped and watching when they ‘go’.  B) that you haven’t just eaten.  Then, after checking that you’re ok with these two things  ….  go to YouTube and put her name in the search bar:  Dr. Pimple Popper  or …  Dr. Sandra Lee (her real name).  She’s a real Doctor, not just some woman who pretends.  So she knows what she’s doing.

My Goodness Me!    When I watched a video I had to work out if I was feeling light-headed or sick.  But … once you’ve watched a little and realised that you’re OK and not about to pass out  …  then it becomes like a car crash.  You HAVE to look.

I was aware that my face was contorting and I was pulling a face that I’d perhaps describe as   EEEK!  and  ICK! combined into one new strange facial expression, but I continued to look.

Never knew about her before …  But I thought I’d share her with you so that you too can experience the EEEK with the ICK! which your face will no doubt do too!

Well … from spots and pimples to brain facts, Virgin Media and to that loss of Electricity, which, I hope, that by the time you’re reading this, our fabulous Electrician will have found the problem, sorted it out and everything will be back to working tickety boo!  All that will be left to do then is to put my beautiful craft room back together again.  (Everything had to be moved so that he (electrician) could get easy access to all the sockets – you would not believe it but half of my craft room is currently in my conservatory and what didn’t fit in the conservatory is in Little Cobs room!)  I’ll be so glad when it’s all put back and I’m then back in my rightful place.  Queen of the Craft Room.  (well… my craft room at any rate). lol

Thank you so much for coming and spending a coffee time with me.  I’m so blessed to have so many lovely blogging pals, and I cherish each and every one of you.

OH and  … a big, hearty  Hello to a couple of new followers who have joined our lovely blog here.  I won’t name names but .. please don’t stay a stranger.  Read and feel free to comment.  It’s via your comments that we get to know each other and we actually all really do end up as friends in blog-land.  It’s what makes blogging such a brilliant place to be.

Have a fabulous Friday my friends  … and …  pray for the very next person you see on the street.  If you don’t pray, then wish something wonderful to happen to or for that person.  Push the prayer or the good  wish out of your head and out into the universe.  Let’s all do something good.

We can’t help everyone . . .  but  everybody  can help  someone.

Sending you my love, and an extra special squidge ~

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