Racing towards a Birthday

Guess who had a play in their craft room?  [grins]  I’m still not feeling 100%  and the mojo is still M.I.A.  and hiding somewhere in the craft room, but I’m still on the case and, with the help of our dog (an animal who can smell a biscuit crumb from 30 yards) I’m hoping to find that missing mojo very soon.

In the meantime I put together a Birthday card made with components from Hunkydory.

1-front

It’s a 3D card which folds completely flat, so no need for a big box.  When opened up (into an X shape) the middle sections are hung from invisible thread (from my sewing threads box)  and the two dimpled gold rings, and the central disc picturing the racing car, spin around – in a slight breeze (from opening a door nearby), or if you blow very gently on them.

below are three photos which show each ‘quarter’ of the card so that you can see it from all sides.

So – finally,  one card done!  That’s a big move forward in the right direction.  I’m off again to the craft room this afternoon, so fingers crossed …  there might be something else to share on another day soon. [GRINS a very hopeful grin!]

Happy Wednesday the 18th of January!  Did you know that … on this day in History:-

  • 1644 –  Perplexed Pilgrims in Boston reported America’s 1st UFO sighting
  • 1788 –  The first elements of the First Fleet carrying 736 convicts from England to Australia arrives at Botany Bay to set up a penal colony
  • 1896 – 1st demonstration of an X-ray machine in US.
  • 1919 – Bentley Motors Limited is founded
  • 1944 –  The Metropolitan Opera House in New York City hosts a jazz concert for the first time. The performers were Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Lionel Hampton, Artie Shaw, Roy Eldridge and Jack Teagarden.
  • 1964 – Beatles 1st appear on Billboard Chart (I Want to Hold Your Hand-#35)
  • 1967 – ‘Boston Strangler’ sentenced to life
  • 1973 – John Cleese’s final episode on “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” on BBC TV
  • 1980 – Pink Floyd’s “Wall” hits #1
  • 1981 – Wendy O Williams arrested in Milwaukee for on-stage obscenity
  • 1991 – Longest tennis match at the Australian Open, Boris Becker beats Italy’s Omar Camporese in 5 hours & 11 mins

That’s just a little handful of things which happened on this day in history.  Wikipedia    have a huuuge list, and if you’d like to read more about todays date simply click on the name.

Hope your week is off to a good start and that the weather is treating you kindly, wherever you are on the planet.  But … if the weather is fowl and you have bills to pay you’d rather not be paying … just think … you’re in a better place than you could be.  So please look at what you’re blessed with, and have a truly lovely,  blessed,  rest of your day.

Sending squidges from me in my corner to you in yours.

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What I learned in 2016


Instead of a ‘What I’ve Learned This Week’ post (which I normally share on a Friday),   I felt it would be appropriate to make a post about some of the things I’ve learned this last year which we’ve just said goodbye to.

Some of the things life taught me during 2016 are fabulous, and some aren’t.

I’m a believer in a particular ‘thing’, which life taught me when I was in my early teens, which I call:  If something happens,  it happens For A Reason.

It might be a truly wonderful, amazing, biggest wish and want of your heart and soul.  Or it could be something not so wanted or desired.  However, what ever this ‘thing’ is, it will have been placed on your pathway for a reason, and you are meant to learn something from it.

So let’s begin the journey of discovery about what I Learned during 2016, shall we?  Are you strapped in securely?  Do you have your crash helmet secured?  Clean underwear on?  Okey Dokey, hold on tightly to the person sat next to you, because that way it’s less likely that you’ll fly off half way round the ride!

I learned last year ….  that when I finally find some moccasin slippers which fit beautifully, with good soles, and are lined with cotton inside them (because of my stupidly sensitive feet) …  I should buy two or even three pairs, because when the pair I originally chose, and have been wearing till they fell apart, I won’t be able to find any more, anywhere near as comfortable or lovely as them, and the place I bought them from changed the design and put non-cotton linings in their new design.  I’ve been looking since February of 2016 for a new pair, and so far I’ve found nothing which comes anywhere near.  I’ve bought new slippersin fact I’ve bought four pairs of different slippers since then, but none of them are anywhere near as comfortable and, to be truthful, I hate them all.

The older I’ve got, the more I’ve grown to appreciate bits of my body, in particular my feet.  Look after your feet people, because they have to last you for the rest of your life.  Buy shoes which fit.  Don’t wear heels every day – swap things around – to give your feet chance to work properly.  And don’t wear anything which is tight around the toes. It’s not brain surgery, and it’s simple to understand.  Look after your feet.

I also learned that I need to Plan Ahead.  Not for the emergency things, like a power cut and we had no electricity – because I plan for all emergencies like that.

(In fact, I plan so ‘beautifully’ (?) for that sort of emergency that if there were an actual power cut here where we live, I could give every neighbour candles and still have enough for us).

I need to stop waiting till the last moment to do some of the regular things – like make an appointment for the doctor (I wait until I’m ready to be admitted to hospital before I’ll give in and make an appointment),  – and instead of putting things off,  I need to do things there and then(!) so that they’re already done and ready for when they need to be ready.  Case in point:  This Post!

I knew I was going to do this post and I knew when I needed it done for.  And yet, here I am, on the last day of 2016, tapping away on my keyboard knowing that this post HAS to be ready to ‘go live’ in the early hours of 2017.  Why on earth didn’t I begin building this post when I sat having a rest or a coffee, or even last week?!  The answer is:  Because I’m a dimwit!  That’s why!

PLAN AHEAD WOMAN ... and stop leaving ‘it’ till the final moment!

Next!:

I learned during 2016  that Crafting is an obsession to me.  And not only is crafting itself the obsession, but crafty shopping is also an obsession.  I will go to a store with a list of (say) three or four items that I need.  However, when I hit that shop with all those lovely crafty goodies, I go batship crazy and am like a child who’s on a sugar high and been given permission to have as many things as they can stuff into a trolley within two hours.  Yes seriously.  I will sometimes catch the bored stiff eyes of ‘Cobs The Bogeyman’ (aka Mr.Cobs) as he wanders around after me (following me like a little lost puppy) asking …  “can we go now?”. 

The man should be awarded a Knighthood in the New Year Honours List (which we have here in the UK), for Services to Retail;  Excelling in the Art of Husbandry; and generally being Mr. Wonderful.  (although that last one can sometimes come into question).

“Arise Sir Cobs.” she says. [as the Queen finishes dobbing him on each shoulder with her trusty sword].

NEXT!

I’ve learned this year that …  New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
As a crafter this is the saddest bit of stuff I’ve ever learned in my whole life.  I’m always twinkling with glitter, even if I haven’t used any for a week.  A spell in my craft room seems to cover me in glitter, which I leave trails of behind me, wherever I roam, or go.  (Including into the loo – which tickles Mr.C – but I won’t tell you what he says about it.  Suffice to say it has something to do with storage of the twinkly stuff and my knickers)

NEXT!:

I won’t make up stories about my parents being the most amazing parents in the world.  My parents weren’t the best parents in the world,  but they were the best ‘THEY‘ could be.  They taught me many lessons.  Life Lessons about:

  • appreciating every thing I had.  From the toys that were given to me as a child, to the teachers I had at school and the lessons I learned from them.
  • How to make friends and be a friend.  ( I still have problems making friends because I’m SO painfully shy).
  • Ensuring that I knew the importance of keeping Sunday as a family day and Christmas and Easter,  and Birthdays, as special days and honour the family by spending time with them – all of them – from my parents to my Grandma & Grandad, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins etc.
  • To look at both sides of any choices which were placed in front of me.  Good-v-Bad.  To make sure that I had looked at things from every angle in order to make sure I made the right choice for me.
  • To have an opinion.  Aw heckaroonie,  I could count on my Mom to have an opinion, and to feel free to voice it –  even if I or anyone else disagreed with her, she had her opinion and would stick to it too.
  • To be willing to help.  From the age of around 12, I used to do the family weekly shopping all by myself.  My mother would be working and my father wasn’t the shopping sort of chap, so I was left a list next the kitchen sink, every Saturday morning, along with money, and I had to go all by myself to the local shopping centre, and visit the big Supermarket;  greengrocer;  butchers;  newsagent;  and possibly the pharmacy too, in order to get all the things on the list, within the money that I’d been left to buy it with.  Then bring all those groceries home – walking all the way home carrying four bags full of groceries.  This taught me a huge lesson as a child:  How to be an important part of the family.  How to manage money;  How to Budget;  How to Shop for a whole family with all their various likes and dislikes;  and …  Spend money on the right things when that was the only option open.  As an adult, when I married, I was so grateful for those shopping and money management lessons.

I learned many more lessons from my parents and I’m grateful for them.  However, a lesson they never got the chance to teach me (and I so wish they had)  was how to deal with someone, a family member in this case, who not just wounded me but broke my heart with their words,  all within about 90 seconds,  and without me getting chance to ask why?  What?  How?  When?  Who?  Why?  WHY??

My parents aren’t around now for me to talk to and ask advice from on how to deal with what happened and to share with them how it’s affected me, and over the last year I’ve wished daily that I had someone older and wiser to advise me, and to just listen.  Before now, I’ve had my mother in law to chat with, and she’s been brilliant.  But she’s getting on in age and is showing some signs of a dementia type of illness so of course I simply won’t give her a problem like this for her to listen to.

So it’s been left to me to ‘grow up’ and get to a place where I have come to a decision about what I have to do.

This whole thing happened because I’d offered this particular family member help to clean their house.  I’d offered before and they seemed to welcome the idea of this help –  things were getting on top of them and all sorts of stuff had become very difficult for them as they were suffering with depression.

Offering to help with the cleaning was the only thing I knew how to do which I thought might help in some way.  But I’d been waiting for them to tell me when they’d like me to come over – for it’s how we’d left it.  I offered, they brightened up and said yes, and said they’d let me know when.  I’d waited weeks and weeks, and wondered if perhaps they didn’t like to ask, so I offered again, and it tipped this person over the edge of reason and they simply exploded.  They shouted an awful lot of hurtful things at me, and told me that they didn’t love me, or like me, and that they didn’t want anything more to do with me. It was such a total shock because we’d always got on really well.

So … I finally learned in the last week of 2016,  that for my own sake, I have to leave this deep wound alone and move on.  Mr.Cobs has helped me see that after 15 months, if nothing has put things right after this length of time, then I HAVE to let it go and move on from it.  For the sake of my heart, and my health, I have to leave this behind me and allow my heart time to heal.

It’s difficult because I hate to see how depression is keeping this person fixed, almost like a prisoner, in one place and no longer enjoying life.  But, as Mr.Cobs has said over and over – I have to let it go.  I cannot continue to fret over this.

I’ve learned that I’m grateful for my parents being the best parents they could be, teaching me, showing me and making me aware of the things that are important.  And … I think they would have told me I realised,  probably about eight months ago,  that I HAD to just let go of this ‘thing’,  stop turning it over and over inside my heart and mind,  and instead move on.

So that’s what I’m doing.   I’m moving on Mom. ❤

Y’know …  I felt as if I just heard her say, over my left shoulder,  ‘Good girl.’

*I tell you none of this for sympathy …  and I want none.   I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned last year, and this was a really BIG learn for me.

OK… moving on:  NEXT!

I learned, during 2016, that it takes me two months to learn to write the new year numbers down on anything that I need to write it down on.  So I’m going to try harder with 2017!

NEXT!

I learned all over again in 2016, how much I enjoy writing posts for this blog.  I’ve ‘met’ so many wonderful people via the blog and I cannot begin to tell you how enriching it is to know you all.  YOU reading this now.  YOU enrich my life by being in it.  So I take this opportunity to thank you for being who you are.  You’re truly amazing.  (And boy oh boy, you’re such a blessing!)

NEXT:

I’ve learned how much I adore the simple jokes in life.  Complicated jokes are great … but sometimes they can be a bit too clever and they make my brain hurt trying to keep up with them.  But the simple, almost childlike jokes … aw, they are the jaw achers which I adore.  I shall attempt to remember to add a small handful at the end of this ‘ream of internet paper’.

NEXT!

I’ve learned the importance of an afternoon snack. 4pm (ish) seems to be the point at which my sugar levels drop to a low and I will either fall asleep in my chair or take myself off to bed for a nap.  However … if I have something snackwise, at around 4pm, then I’m good to go for the rest of the day.  Have a snack!

And finally….

I’ve learned the importance of not hitting your knee on a substantial coffee table, made of 2″thick pine and made in such a way that a family of four could live in it in an emergency.  Actually … I learnt this lesson on the closing moments of 2016 … so only just, and the swear words are still bouncing off the walls of my brain!  Grrrrr!  Gosh, that knee hurts now, and it’s really, really hot to touch and swollen too!

OK…  I know you’ve been waiting for this part ….  here come the jokes:

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. Because,  as the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
~~~~~~~
What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’?
 . . . . . .  One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter
~~~~~~~
Two Clowns divorce.  A Custardy battle follows.
~~~~~~~
Question for you …  Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from earth?
~~~~~~~

An annoying person told me “People have 2 Ears and 1 mouth, so they should listen more than they speak.”

I replied “People also have 1 mouth and 2 legs, so maybe you should shut up and go away.”

~~~~~~~

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. After that, everything else was ‘Made in China’.

~~~~~~~

WomenA species that loathes you for asking their age,but will torture you forever if you forget their birthday.

What is red and bad for your teeth?  . . .   A brick!

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Love means nothing to a tennis player.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
What are you? An owl?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Smell map
Smell map who?
If you’re not giggling by now,  say it out loud.  If you’re still not giggling after that then click and hold the click over this —>“Smell map who?”  sounds like  ‘Smell my poo’ when said out loud<—

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I’m knocking.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Bless you and cover your mouth next time.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
OK, W. H. O.

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
I eat map.
I eat map who?
Oh yuk!   That’s disgusting!  (you might have to say it out loud if you haven’t got it yet).

And finally …..

Wife texts husband: Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?

Husband texts back: Love, do you remember the jewellery shop on Regent Street where you saw a diamond necklace and fell in love with it and I couldn’t afford it then, but I said ‘I will get it one day for you’?

Wife replies (all excited): Yes I do, I do.

Husband texts back to her: I am in the pub just next door to that.

fnar fnar!

Well I guess that there’s only one thing left for me to do now and that’s this (It’s only 34 seconds long):-

 

Remember you can reset your resolutions on January 14th (Orthodox New Year) and February 8th (Chinese New Year). After that, even I can’t help you.
I personally have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have.
May love, peace and harmony be yours in 2017, and my greatest wish for you is for contentment to be yours.  For when you have contentment, you then have everything you could possibly want.  Happy New Year to you!

With love ~

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Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm – 2

We first met Anne and Malcolm a few weeks ago (if you missed the first post you can find it HERE), and now they’re back again for another visit, to share with us all their unique observations on Life living with a Crafter via the use of photographs.

For those who haven’t ‘met’  Anne and Malcolm,  then  . . .  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne. A glimpse into the exciting world of Crafters and their spouses.   

(Anne and Malcolm exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE  COBWEB  CATALOGUE

of a Living  (in my imaginationCrafter & Spouse

voodoo-dolly-1

Malcolm loved that Anne was so happy in the craft room he’d ‘built’ for her, but one thing didn’t go down well with him at all.  The Voodoo Dolly strapped to the big star.  He wished with all his heart that she’d part company with that, because it gave him the heebie-jeebies and he didn’t like to go into the craftroom to get any of his cooking spices which Anne insisted should be in her craft room.  It made him wonder exactly what sort of ‘craft’ Anne was practising!

~~~~~~~

the-sewing-room-2

Anne had dropped (very) heavy hints to Malcolm, and even left brochures around the house  in the hope he’d get the idea about what she dearly wanted as a Birthday gift this year.  But on her Birthday, all he’d bought her was a wall mounted thingy-ma-jiggy-me-bob on which to store all her cotton reels,  and he still hadn’t noticed the lack of a sewing machine in her Sewing Room!

~~~~~~~

naughty-basket-and-glass-jar-jails-3

Anne was far happier now that she’d finally got
a ‘Naughty Basket’ for the fabrics which were
misbehaving,  and two Glass Jail Jars for those really
BAD fabrics who were the real trouble makers in
the bunch!  She was determined to teach them
a lesson!

~~~~~~

hastily-packed-suitcases-4

Back from their shopping trip, Malcolm took Anne’s new blue basket, filled with all the ribbons she’d bought that morning, down to her basement craft room.  That’s when he noticed the hastily packed suitcases under her fabric cutting desk.   The neighbours could hear that trouble was brewing in  ‘Chez Malcanne’,   as Malcolm climbed the stairs from the basement, two at a time, shouting:  “Anne!  ANNE!!”    with a rather cross tone to his voice.

~~~~~~~~

clean-up-5

While Anne was away visiting her mother for a couple of days, Malcolm had planned to clean up her crafting room as a surprise for her upon her return.  He thought she’d love how clean and tidy it was now, and also thought she’d adore all the storage boxes with all their little drawers which he’d sorted her things into, and then spent four hours writing little sticky labels out for each drawer.  Sadly, we crafters among us know exactly what was going to happen the minute she stepped inside that door.  She would look around that room with horror mounting and registering on her face.  It was going to take her years to find all her lovely things – which despite what he might have thought,   were all in their correct places (for her) and she prided herself on knowing that she could put her hand on ANYTHING she required because she’d known exactly where it all was!  But not any longer!    Malcolm was going to be TOAST!

~~~~~~~~~

not-so-much-a-craft-room-as-a-breeding-programme-6

One corner of Anne’s Stitch, Knit and Sew Crafting Room was dedicated to what Anne affectionately called her ‘woolly life‘.  However,  Malcolm suspected that this corner had nothing to do with crafting, and instead believed it was a secret Breeding Programme.  The mound seemed to increase weekly, and yet Anne always laughed and denied it when he suggested to her that she’d been out buying more wool again.

~~~~~~~~

Well,  we’ve turned over few more pages of the ‘COBWEB CATALOGUE of life with a Crafter  & Spouse’,  for a bit of Wednesday afternoon fun.  I hope they’ve raised a few smiles, a smattering of gentle laughs,  or even modicum of cheer.

Have a truly blessed rest of your day.

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The photos chosen for this post are randomly chosen and found on the internet, so publicly available.   I sadly don’t know who the photos belong to, so if you are the owner of any of them, please drop me a comment detailing which photo is yours, and giving me a link to the original posting of it, and  I’ll be thrilled to credit you to the photo.

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Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm

Some of you may be familiar with a website which has some great photographs taken from catalogues, to which they put their own spin on what you’re looking at and end up with  the funniest things which make me hoot with laughter.

Well, I have a confession …  when I look at pictures craft rooms, on the inter webby, I have that same thing go on inside my head.  I will fall in love with craft rooms, and gaze at them longingly – wishing that my craft room was *that* big, or *that* colour or *that* clean – but I know it’s never going to happen.  However .. after I’ve fallen in lurve with the craft room … I will then spot a little something which begins to tickle me.  From that tickle comes a bubbling feeling, like fizzing champagne bubbles going crazy around my solar plexus, and from that point on, all heck breaks loose and the laughter pops out.  Not normal laughing … noooo.. the type of laughing which has tears running down my face laughing.

So, since it’s Monday, and Monday can be …  very  ‘Mondayish’ … I thought we’d get the week off to a slightly better start than  ‘Mondayish’.   So team …  Get your chuckle muscles ready . . .   (I’ll start you off gently with just five pictures,  . . .  so that none of you break your chuckle muscle) …

  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne.  (who exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE COBWEB CATALOGUE  ~  of a Living  (in my imagination)  Crafter

chadelier-crafting

    ❤

bread-bin-crafting

  ❤

sewing-machine-telephone-table-crafting

  ❤

bucket-crafting

  ❤

spice-cupboard-crafting

  ❤

natural-mothering-crafter

Happy Monday!  I hope that your chuckle muscle is in good repair, and that you’ve just given it a little work out.  Hopefully there will be more to smile about in your coming week.

Have a truly beautiful day my friends.  Let’s do it to them before they do it to us. (be kind that is).

Sending much love to you there in your corner, from me in mine. 

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Things I learned this Week . . .

Happy Friday!  …  and welcome to Cobs Lessons of Life.  A snapshot of a week spent being taught certain lessons which we all run into from time to time – but I’m sharing my lessons with you so that you learn in a fun way, . . .  and have a laugh at my predicaments.  or even go away after reading this post feeling so much wiser and far more clever than you started out!

Regular readers may remember that last week I told you my tale of woe about having absolutely no electricity in my craft room.  All the electrics went pop on Wednesday of last week and despite Mr. Cobs efforts, the electricity was no more.

Thankfully, my Super Hero:  Electric Man,  came Friday morning last week and managed to locate the problem, sort it out, and the magic which is electricity was restored!

But I still haven’t told you what caused the loss of electricity in my craft room yet.

I bet that you couldn’t ever guess what caused all the electricity to suddenly disappear in my craft room – not even if I gave you two weeks to come up with your best guess.  But .. let’s give this a moment, and let you have one stab at what you think it might have been.

Go on…  I’ll give you chance to make just one guess.  Just one.  Make it outrageous.  See if you can guess.

Now let’s see how many of your were right ….

What caused my entire craft room to be plunged into the bleak dark ages of no electricity was … A WEB SITE.  Yes, you really did read that correctly.  Maybe I should be more specific so that you can picture how this loss of electricity occurred ….  I lost all the electricity in my craft room simply because of a particular type of web site,  more commonly known as . . .  a spider’s web.

Yes, honestly truthfully.  Honest to Dog.  Cross my heart and all that stuff.

A spider had crawled into an electric socket and decided that he would make his home there.  He’d spun himself a rather intricate web (my Super Hero Electric Man told me it was really quite pretty one).  And it was this web which shorted out all of my electricity!

Can you believe it?  No me neither.  If this was anyone but my Super Hero (aka Chris) , I would have given them a shifty look which told them that I didn’t believe them.  But Electric Man is brilliant.  He doesn’t tell me tall tales.  He also told me that it was something that he’d actually seen before!  Along with he told me, slugs and snails which had crawled into sockets, and wiped out the power!  And there was I thinking being a Super Hero was a glamorous job!

What else did I learn this week .

  • That I miss the funny people who were around (well-known folks of TV and Stand Up comedians on tours in theatres etc) in the 80’s  and 90’s  – such as Pam Ayres, Mike Harding,  Brian Connolly,  Robin Williams, Steve Martin, John Candy, Mel Brooks, Bob Newhart.  Do I miss them … or is it that I miss the  whole era when comedy wasn’t filled with filth, filthy words, and downright disagreeable subjects – all of which todays comedians seem to earn a fortune from injecting into their acts.  I don’t understand it and can’t understand why people find it funny.

I also learned that …

  • Harry Potter’s house is valued at £475,000 ($615,000)  (The house where he lived with his uncle and aunt).

and . . .

  • That I really like this blog and LOVE blogging.  I’ve ‘met’ so many really lovely people because of this blog;  and I’ve also learned tons by reading other blogs.  Yes .. blogging, for me at least, is an experience I’ve found to be truly wonderful.

also . . .

  •   More than 200 UK drivers are at least 100 years old.

and …

  • The best coffee can be found in our cottage, at 4pm every single day,  especially after a tough day, a painful day, a miserable day, or just any ol’ day …  and it’s made by Mr. C,  – just to make me feel human again.  ( what can I say? The guy’s brilliant.  I got a good one.)

Oh ... and this one made my eyes stretch to the size of saucers:

  • The ad executive behind the Nike slogan  “Just do it”  got the idea from the final words of condemned murderer Gary Gilmore.  Ohhh, this made me feel like I didn’t want to ever buy Nike again.  What a way to get a slogan!

And finally … I’ve learned that if I don’t get enough sleep, the sleep I do get is peppered with the strangest dreams, which ‘feel’  like it’s real and that the *things* actually really have happened.   I need to get more sleep.

So … that’s what I’ve learned this week.  Now it’s over to you.  What lessons has life taught you this week?  Not to spend so much money?  That you won’t die if you eat some treat or other?  That she was right …. Your Mother DOES know best?    Or something else?  Do share it with us all.  We won’t judge and we won’t laugh … unless you want us to, and then we’ll howl with laughter so loud that you’ll hear us!

In the meantime …  may I wish you a totally Fabulous Friday.  A very special Saturday, and an easy, peaceful, gentle, and sunny Sunday.

Be careful out there.  There are nuts on the road and there might even be one in your car too!  

Squidges from me in my corner to you in yours …

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Things I learned this Week

Welcome to this weeks ~ Lessons in the art of Life ~ . . . as per Cobs.

Well, I’ve learnt an assortment of lessons this week.  Some of them welcome, one of them tiresome and others that are just snippets of “well I never knew that”!

I have learned that Virgin Media (who supply my cable, TV, broadband and telephone –  i.e. the whole kit and caboodle) can keep you ‘holding’ on the phone for an INORDINATELY long time (i.e. 1 hour 35 minutes) when you call them to tell them that you’re planning to disconnect from them and go to another supplier if they don’t get their act sorted out and change back the monthly charge to what I was paying before they hoiked the charge up by £39.49 per month.

Because I’m a clever, canny lass when it comes to negotiating new deals, I keep an almost blow-by-blow account of what was agreed, and get the FULL name of the person I was doing the deal with and even make a note of the time the call began and ended  ….  Virgin couldn’t do anything but remove the extra charges for the rest of the term of our contract.  However, in an effort to make things as difficult as possible, they (Virgin) passed me from pillar to post, one person after another,  possibly in the hope that I’d get either annoyed or tired and put down the phone.  I didn’t.  I don’t.  And, unlike Mr. Cobs, I don’t lose my temper either.  I, in fact, get calmer and c.a.l.m.e.r. until I’m ultra calm and laid back,  ….  but ever-so-much more determined that I am going to get the result I require.

I learned from this experience this week that Virgin might waste a bit of my time by keeping me listening to music(? that term is questionable for what I was listening to), but ultimately it is they who will be jumping through the hoops when it comes to keeping THIS customer happy.

I also learned this week that I actually can still work in my craft room – sort of – when there is no electricity to be found in there at all.  Although – it’s a much quieter sort of crafting and I don’t particularly like it very much.

The electrics in my craft room suddenly tripped on Wednesday and nothing would or could get the electrics to work again.  It’s apparently something to do with one of the sockets in there.  Fortunately my craft room is a completely separate building from the house (in our detached, converted garage) so the house electrics are fine.  Our Electrician called out on Wednesday to see if anything needed to be ordered, and he’s back again Friday (today) to [hopefully] fix the problem.  While he’s here I’m getting him to put some new spots in the ceiling as the ones that are there were fitted by Noah when he arrived in the harbour, sailing on his big boat, so they’re old and need changing. (The detail about Noah fitting the current lights might not actually be totally true).

I’ve also learned some random facts about life in general, which I’m not sure will ever impress anyone or even if I’ll ever need these intelligent bits of information, but I know them now so in the interests of sharing the knowledge and joy I’ll show you what I learned…

The Sun is (roughly) 400 times larger than the moon.  It looks, to us here on Earth, like the moon and sun are the same size, but that’s simply because the Sun is (approximately) 400 times further away from us, which creates the illusion that the Sun and Moon in the sky above, are the same size!

Your brain weighs about 3 pounds. Of that, the dry weight is 60% fat, making your brain the fattiest organ!   Twenty-five percent of the body’s cholesterol resides within the brain.  Cholesterol is an integral part of every brain cell. Without adequate cholesterol, brain cells die.  GASP!  Who knew?!

Ninety minutes of sweating can temporarily shrink your brain as much as one year of aging.  Your brain is 73% water. It takes only 2% dehydration to affect your attention, memory and other cognitive skills.

No one knows for sure, but the latest estimate is that our brains contain roughly 86 billion brain cells.  Each neuron connects with, on average, 40,000 synapses.  A piece of brain tissue the size of a grain of sand contains 100,000 neurons and 1 billion synapses all communicating with each other.  Babies have big heads to hold rapidly growing brains. A 2-year-old’s brain is 80% of adult size.  Teen brains are not fully formed. It isn’t until about the age of 25 that the human brain reaches full maturity.

Brain information moves anywhere between 1 mph and an impressive 268 miles per hour. This is faster than Formula 1 race cars which top out at 240 mph.  Your brain generates about 12-25 watts of electricity. This is enough to power a low-wattage LED light.  (NOW THERE’S AN IDEA FOR MY CRAFT ROOM! … aw, no, that’s a ‘normal’ brain, not just one brain cell – which is what I have).

The average brain is believed to generate around 50,000 thoughts per day. Disturbingly, it’s estimated that in most people 70% of these thoughts are negative.

Our attention spans are getting shorter. In 2000, the average attention span was 12 seconds. Now it’s 8 seconds. That’s shorter than the 9-second attention span of the average goldfish.  Yes, really!

Brain cells cannibalize themselves as a last-ditch source of energy to ward off starvation. So in very real ways dieting can force your brain to eat itself.

In spite of what you’ve been told, alcohol doesn’t kill brain cells. It “only” damages the connective tissue at the end of neurons.

Memories are shockingly unreliable. Emotions, motivation, cues, context and frequency of use can all affect how accurately you remember something.

Memory is more of an activity than a place.  Any given memory is deconstructed and distributed in different parts of the brain. Then, for the memory to be recalled, it gets reconstructed from the individual fragments.  Like a jigsaw in a box.  You have to reconstruct the photo on the front of the box.

Do you feel even more clever now?

Random Quote I read for the first time this week and HAVE to agree with:

  • For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
    – Doug Larson –

And finally …

Two words.  If you haven’t already met ‘her’ on the internet or on You Tube …   DR. PIMPLE POPPER!

OH.  MY.  DOG.!!!  

If you haven’t ‘met’ her name before, then please make sure that A) you aren’t squeamish about pimples being popped and watching when they ‘go’.  B) that you haven’t just eaten.  Then, after checking that you’re ok with these two things  ….  go to YouTube and put her name in the search bar:  Dr. Pimple Popper  or …  Dr. Sandra Lee (her real name).  She’s a real Doctor, not just some woman who pretends.  So she knows what she’s doing.

My Goodness Me!    When I watched a video I had to work out if I was feeling light-headed or sick.  But … once you’ve watched a little and realised that you’re OK and not about to pass out  …  then it becomes like a car crash.  You HAVE to look.

I was aware that my face was contorting and I was pulling a face that I’d perhaps describe as   EEEK!  and  ICK! combined into one new strange facial expression, but I continued to look.

Never knew about her before …  But I thought I’d share her with you so that you too can experience the EEEK with the ICK! which your face will no doubt do too!

Well … from spots and pimples to brain facts, Virgin Media and to that loss of Electricity, which, I hope, that by the time you’re reading this, our fabulous Electrician will have found the problem, sorted it out and everything will be back to working tickety boo!  All that will be left to do then is to put my beautiful craft room back together again.  (Everything had to be moved so that he (electrician) could get easy access to all the sockets – you would not believe it but half of my craft room is currently in my conservatory and what didn’t fit in the conservatory is in Little Cobs room!)  I’ll be so glad when it’s all put back and I’m then back in my rightful place.  Queen of the Craft Room.  (well… my craft room at any rate). lol

Thank you so much for coming and spending a coffee time with me.  I’m so blessed to have so many lovely blogging pals, and I cherish each and every one of you.

OH and  … a big, hearty  Hello to a couple of new followers who have joined our lovely blog here.  I won’t name names but .. please don’t stay a stranger.  Read and feel free to comment.  It’s via your comments that we get to know each other and we actually all really do end up as friends in blog-land.  It’s what makes blogging such a brilliant place to be.

Have a fabulous Friday my friends  … and …  pray for the very next person you see on the street.  If you don’t pray, then wish something wonderful to happen to or for that person.  Push the prayer or the good  wish out of your head and out into the universe.  Let’s all do something good.

We can’t help everyone . . .  but  everybody  can help  someone.

Sending you my love, and an extra special squidge ~

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Friday Post:- Things I’ve learned this week.

My one brain cell is obviously trying very hard at this remembering lark because looky here . . .   the THIRD Friday Post!  I never dreamed I’d make it past the first one so to be here with the 3rd is nothing short of unbelievable to me!

Last week we did internet vexations This week we’re talking again about ‘lessons’ I’ve learned during the past week.  You need no more introduction from me so I’ll shut up and let you read while you enjoy that … erm  … actually …  what exactly is that which you have there?  C’mon now …   Share it with the rest of the class!

Things I Learned This Week.

1.  I learned that sprinkling salt onto cut tomatoes you’re about to eat is NOT a clever thing to do when you’ve chewed on the inside of your lip.  That salt (yes, even the lo-sodium variety because that’s what I use) will suddenly become a product of the DIVIL,  and will make you pull a face like a sucked lemon due to the unique pain you  WILL  suffer when that salt and your chewed lip meet for the first time.  What occurs when they become acquainted is nothing like  a meeting made in Heaven.  You know that brain freeze pain you get when you eat a too big a spoonful of ice cream?  WELL IT’S WORSE THAN THAT, let me tell you!!   Moral of this story  . . . don’t chew your lips!

2.  I learned that I’m obviously the only driver on the road, where I live in my corner of the UK, who has read and remembers how to ‘operate’ the  Highway Code.

The ‘ejits’ who are obtaining a driving licence nowadays are obviously getting them  via  Christmas  Crackers and/or Lucky Bags, and don’t realise that those types of licences really aren’t legal!!

They’ve either never read the Highway Code or, if they have, they’ve forgotten most of what’s written in there, and especially  a) that you mustn’t cut corners at junctions.

Highway Code And b) they know nothing about passing parked cars  [which are parked on ‘their’ side of the road],  and how they should wait and give way to the on-coming traffic, before THEY try to squeeze their car and bully their way, at speed, along the road causing the on-coming traffic to slam their brakes on;  skim the kerb (and leave half a ton of tyre rubber behind);  or mount the kerb in order to keep their (my) car in one whole, undamaged piece.  grrrr!

cursing

3.  Due to point Number 2 above:   I learned that I know some curse words I didn’t think I knew, – and have also found I have an ability to invent other curses which I don’t think have been invented yet, – but I heard them all pop out of my mouth because of some idiot, rat-fink, ‘youth’ I doubted the parentage of,  who nearly took the side off my car.

And finally …  although why I’ve left this to the last one I don’t know, for it is the one which  . . .  aw, no.  I won’t give the plot away.  I’ll let you read it for yourself.

4.  SPIDERS.  I could leave it right there . . .  but I feel you need to hear the drama which spiders have caused this week, here in my little cottage.    And also, by blogging about it,  there will be dated written evidence, if the police should need it, of how these bl**dy creatures are planning to terminate me!

Spider

Dearest readers ...  I hope you know nothing about the horror of the rigor mortis fear which happens,  when,  in the darkness while laying in your bed at 2am in the morning, in the heat of  a sticky summers night, with just a cotton sheet covering only the lower half of your body . . .  you become aware of something moving over your skin.  You feel  every. single. one. of the slow foot steps of …  a big spider walking over your back.

(ahhhh ….  come out in a cold sweat have you? . . .  read on, dear reader, read on) . . .

I lay comfortably in bed,  on my left side,  not quite asleep  – but not really awake either.  It was 2am in the morning.

I felt … a sort of gentle,  ticklish feeling on my upper back.  In my tired, sleepy headed state I remember thinking that it was a hair which had escaped the ‘twist’ I make with my hair every night.

I always collect my hair at the back of my neck, twist it round and then hold the twist of hair up on my head while I settle down on my pillow.  It keeps it all  out-of-the-way  on hot nights.

Suddenly,  a thought  WHIZZED  through my mind like a bullet being shot from a gun, – my eyes popped wide open and I froze.

I . couldn’t . move.  Fear held me in a freakish suspended moment.

My mind was racing.  My eyes, I swear,  were the size of saucers.   You see . . .  I realised that the ‘hair’ I thought I’d felt falling on my back,  couldn’t be a hair.  

Why?   Because if it was,  it wouldn’t have been  falling  UPWARDS.

NOTHING  . . .   falls  . . .   UP

My brain was now fully alert, racing at a million miles per hour,  and trying to come up with a  plan.

I considered shouting out for Mr. Cobs to rescue me from this assassin which came in the middle of the night   … but he was deep in sleep and snoring so loudly that I doubt very much that The Band of the Coldstream Guards playing right next to him would have woken him up.

Besides which … I actually couldn’t make any sounds other than:  Ehhh.  OahhhArrrr.  Ehhr.  Uh uh.  – and none of these sounds made up the sentence:-

“Dearest one, could you possibly raise yourself from the depths of your slumbers and gently cup this little rascal on my back who’s having a round of that famous song:  ‘You put your left legs in, your left legs out, in out, in out, y’ shake ’em all about.  Y’ do the hokey cokey and you turn around, and that’s what it’s all about!’.”

Which, obviously, was what I was trying to say.

I’m scared witless of spiders.  I’ve never been able to co-exist with them.  I won’t kill them because … well … I don’t believe in killing anything.  However, right at this point I’d have welcomed James Bond (Daniel Craig version please) as my hero who rescued me from the deathly grips of this eight legged creature.  (Who am I kidding … I’d have welcomed ANYONE at that point who could have gathered up that beast and thrown him out of the window!).

I could feel this thing making its way up to my left shoulder.  My time was running out.  The panic within me at this point was so huge, so big, so wide, and inside my head I was screaming blue murder.  I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.  I HAD to stop this creature from walking up my neck and onto my face – because,  something inside me said,  if he got to my face then I was going to die of panic, fear and shock.  My heart was pounding SO hard that I could feel each beat in my throat.

Thoughts were racing through my head so fast and just the one shone out as being the only one which had any merit…..

I rolled,  gently and as slowly, so as not to alert this vile creature to my plan,  onto my tummy, but fast enough so that the spider didn’t have time to get onto my neck.  My upper shoulder was now hanging just over the edge of the bed … and with my hand (of the arm now trapped under my upper-chest),  I SWOOPED it over my shoulder and cupped my hand so that it would scoop this little blighter off my back and onto the floor.

Straight away I turned my bedside lamp on and looked down at the floor.  Nothing.  Couldn’t see a thing.  No Spider!   I looked over to where the dog sleeps in her bed, next to  me.  I held my breath, waiting to see if I could see a spider running for dear life.  Nothing. I sat up in bed and looked around … nothingOH.  MY.  STARS!  Was he still in the bed with me???

I got out of that bed faster than I knew I could move and quickly lifted each pillow and waiting for just a second to see if anything ran.  Nothing.

I lifted the sheet.  Nothing.

That little b*gg*r was nowhere to be found.

Was He Hiding In My Hair???  I grabbed my comb from the dresser and combed and combed and combed.  From every angle, and frankly, I’m surprised I’m not bald.

I climbed back into bed … and for a while I first sat there, then lay there with the light on.  Terrified.

What if it came back and hid spiders eggs inside my ear?

What if it came back and made a spider’s web over my face? 

What if it came back and . . .  on and on. One scenario after another.  At around 4am I turned off the light and went to sleep.  (but not before I’d double checked the floor again – for around the fourteenth time).

The following morning … I told Mr. Cobs about my tormentor and asked him if he would do me a big favour and vacuum all around the bedroom, under the bed, behind the bed head, around the edges of the skirting board, the bunting hanging against the wall behind the bed … I gave him a list of all the places I thought a spider might choose to hide,  … and you name it, bless his heart,  he vacuumed it for me.  He said he found  nothing.

No, he wouldn’t.

Of course he wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t ….  Because that  &*%$£#  spider had re-located to the bathroom!   And later that morning, … when I was brushing my teeth,  I looked into the mirror over the sink and saw . . .  THAT BL**DY, BU££ERY SPIDER  (or one of its henchman)  DROPPING DOWN FROM THE CEILING, ABOUT TWO INCHES AWAY FROM THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY HEAD!  It was clearly aiming for my shoulder.

I have honestly never ever screamed so loud in all my life.  Over and over and over again I screamed out Mr. Cobs. name.   The bathroom door had the lock on.  The spider was between me and the bathroom door, and there was no way that I could reach around it to get to the door,  without it falling onto me.

Mr. Cobs was now at the bathroom door, banging on it and trying to open the door,  yelling, trying to break in and save me from whatever it was which was making me scream like I was.  I couldn’t talk.  I couldn’t tell him what was wrong.  For some reason I was unable to re-direct the effort of my panic to my voice-box and get that working instead.

I had an idea which I could try  … I reached up and with my index finger, I dragged that spiders web ‘string’  towards and over the sink, so that he would land in the sink and I could then safely reach across and open the door.  But NO.  Mr. ‘I’m going to GET YOU’ Spider was having none of it.

What did he do?   HE RAN BACK UP THAT  WEB ‘STRING’ AS FAST AS HIS LEGS WOULD CARRY HIM.  I was totally  PANIC STRICKEN  – he was fast heading towards my hand … –   I lowered my hand quickly and dropped him inside the sink,  but I knew that I had to ‘dis-connect’ myself from his webby string  … so dragged my finger over the edge of the sink, as if wiping it off.  I instantly went to reach for the lock, but all the time kept my eye on the spider … and that monster did what spiders can’t normally do.  HE CLIMBED THE SIDE OF THAT  DAM*ED  SINK!!!  By the time I’d managed to unlock the door and Mr. Cobs launched himself through it … that spider had one huge, chunky  leg already waggling and waving over the top edge of the sink.

Mr. Cobs had hold of me by the shoulders, shaking me slightly, asking me what was wrong.  Why was I screaming?

I pointed to the sink…   I watched and saw his shoulders drop.  I could feel his relief.

Get it out.  Please.  Get it out!”   He pulled a couple of sheets off the loo roll and caught the spider within the folds of it.  “PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE IT!  PLEEEEASE  MAKE SURE!”

He did.  He had.  He took it outside to the big bin and deposited it in there.

I.  . . .   HATE.  . . .  SPIDERS.

And they know it.  And now … they’re having a laugh by tormenting me.

I  . . .  HATE  . . .  SPIDERS.

“Hello God, it’s me again.  I wanted to have a word with you about spiders.”

The moral of this tale is …  don’t let spiders know that you don’t like them, because if you do, they’ll torment the living snot out of you.

And these things, beautiful readers, are some of the lessons life has taught me this week.

Has life taught you anything this week?  If so … do share … if only to take my mind off spiders, because all the way through typing this to share it with you, I’ve been itching, scratching, fidgeting and feeling like every bit of ticklish hair touching my body, caused by the ceiling fan spinning around, isn’t a hair but actually a cluster of spiders all popped round to assassinate me. [shudder]

Have a fabulous Friday, and a truly wonderful weekend my friends.  I wish you sunshine, smiles, love, a lack of spiders,  and,  …  if at all possible … a lottery win.  🙂

Sending squidges ~

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