The Friday Post – 13th October 2017

Today is … FRIDAY THE 13th.

The fear of Friday the 13th is so big that it has its own name.  It’s called friggatriskaidekaphobia – or triskaidekaphobia for short.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia comes from Frigg, the Norse goddess of wisdom after whom Friday is named, and the Greek words Triskaidekaphobia, meaning 13, and phobia, meaning fear.

Now Friday the 13th is not universally seen as a day of misery. For example, in Italy, Friday the 17th and not Friday the 13th is considered to be a day that brings bad luck.  In fact, the number 13 is thought to be a lucky number!

In many Spanish-speaking countries and in Greece, Tuesday the 13th is seen as a day of misfortune. And  ….   For a month to have a Friday the 13th, the month must begin on a Sunday.

OK, that’s enough of this Friday 13th silliness!  Get your notebooks ready, and put your chewing gum in the bin!  Edumacation coming up!

On this Day in History

1773The Whirlpool Galaxy is discovered by Charles Messier. The famous Whirlpool galaxy Messier 51 (M51, NGC 5194) is one of the most conspicuous, and probably the most well-known spiral galaxy in the sky.

The Whirlpool Galaxy

The Whirlpool Galaxy is an interacting grand-design spiral galaxy located at a distance of approximately 23 million light-years in the constellation Canes Venatici.  It is one of the most famous spiral galaxies in the sky.

The galaxy and its companion (NGC 5195) are easily observed by amateur astronomers, and the two galaxies may even be seen with binoculars. The Whirlpool Galaxy is also a popular target for professional astronomers, who study it to further understand galaxy structure (particularly structure associated with the spiral arms) and galaxy interactions.

M51 is visible through binoculars on a dark night, but with modern amateur telescopes this galaxy is truly a sight to behold. It is very forgiving on the instrument, when seen even through a humble 10 cm telescope the basic outlines of M51 and its companion are visible. Under dark skies, and with a moderate eyepiece through a 15 cm telescope, one can detect M51’s intrinsic spiral structure. With larger (>30 cm) instruments M51 is simply breathtaking. The various spiral bands are very obvious and several HII regions appear to be visible, and M51 can be seen to be attached to M51B. The shape of the X-formation in the nucleus has often been compared to the Christian cross.

1775 – The United States Continental Congress orders the establishment of the Continental Navy (later renamed the United States Navy).
1792 – In Washington, D.C., the cornerstone of the United States Executive Mansion (known as the White House since 1818) is laid.

1843 – In New York City, Henry Jones and 11 others found B’nai B’rith (the oldest Jewish service organization in the world).

membership_certificate_
The Independent Order of B’nai B’rith – Membership Certificate

The Independent Order of B’nai B’rith (IPA: /bəneɪ ‘brɪθ/; Hebrew: בני ברית, “Sons of the Covenant”) is the oldest continually operating Jewish service organization in the world. It was founded in New York City by Henry Jones and 11 others, on October 13, 1843.

The organization is engaged in a wide variety of community service and welfare activities, including the promotion of Jewish rights, assisting hospitals and victims of natural disasters, awarding scholarships to Jewish college students, and opposing anti-Semitism and racism through its Centre for Human Rights and Public Policy.

The organization’s main body is B’nai B’rith International, the entity that works with hundreds of countries around the world to increase the welfare of resident Jews.

1845A majority of voters in the Republic of Texas approve a proposed constitution, that if accepted by the U.S. Congress, will make Texas a U.S. state.

1881 – Revival of the Hebrew language as Eliezer Ben-Yehuda (a key figure in the revival of Hebrew as a spoken language) and friends agree to use Hebrew exclusively in their conversations.

1884 – Greenwich is established as universal time meridian of longitude. Greenwich is a district in south-east London, England, on the south bank of the River Thames in the London Borough of Greenwich. It is best known for its maritime history and as giving its name to the Greenwich Meridian (0° longitude) and Greenwich Mean Time. Which was chosen as the universal time meridian of longitude from which standard times throughout the world are calculated.

Royal Observatory Greenwich

The Royal Observatory, Greenwich – as depicted on a picture postcard in 1902

The town became the site of a Royal palace, the Palace of Placentia from the 15th century, and was the birthplace of many in the House of Tudor, including Henry VIII and Elizabeth I. The palace fell into disrepair during the English Civil War and was rebuilt as the Royal Naval Hospital for Sailors by Sir Christopher Wren and his assistant Nicholas Hawksmoor. These buildings became the Royal Naval College in 1873, and they remained an establishment for military education until 1998 when they passed into the hands of the Greenwich Foundation. The historic rooms within these buildings remain open to the public; other buildings are used by University of Greenwich and the Trinity College of Music.

Stood on the Meridian Line

A favourite thing to do when visiting is to stand with one foot either side of the Meridian Line and be photographed.

The town became a popular resort in the 17th century with many grand houses, such as Vanbrugh castle established on Maze Hill, next to the park. From the Georgian period estates of houses were constructed above the town centre. The maritime connections of Greenwich were celebrated in the 20th century, with the sitting of the Cutty Sark and Gypsy Moth IV next to the river front, and the National Maritime Museum in the former buildings of the Royal Hospital School in 1934. Greenwich formed part of Kent until 1889 when the County of London was created.
(Greenwich is pronounced: Gren–itch = ‘Grenitch’.)

1894 – The first Merseyside ‘derby’ football match was played at Goodison Park between Liverpool and Everton, with Everton winning 3 – 0.

1917 – The “Miracle of the Sun” is witnessed by an estimated 70,000 people in the Cova da Iria in Fátima, Portugal. The Miracle of the Sun is an alleged miraculous event witnessed by as many as 100,000 people on 13 October 1917 in the Cova da Iria fields near Fátima, Portugal.  Those in attendance had assembled to observe what the Portuguese secular newspapers had been ridiculing for months as the absurd claim of three shepherd children that a miracle was going to occur at high-noon in the Cova da Iria on October 13, 1917.

According to many witness statements, after a downfall of rain, the dark clouds broke and the sun appeared as an opaque, spinning disk in the sky. It was said to be significantly less bright than normal, and cast multicolored lights across the landscape, the shadows on the landscape, the people, and the surrounding clouds. The sun was then reported to have careened towards the earth in a zigzag pattern, frightening some of those present who thought it meant the end of the world. Some witnesses reported that their previously wet clothes became “suddenly and completely dry.”

Estimates of the number of witnesses range from 30,000-40,000 by Avelino de Almeida, writing for the Portuguese newspaper O Século, to 100,000, estimated by Dr. Joseph Garrett, professor of natural sciences at the University of Coimbra, both of whom were present that day.

The miracle was attributed by believers to Our Lady of Fátima, an apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to three young shepherd children in 1917, as having been predicted by the three children on 13 July, 19 August, and 13 September 1917.  The children reported that the Lady had promised them that she would on 13 October reveal her identity to them and provide a miracle “so that all may believe.”

According to these reports, the miracle of the sun lasted approximately ten minutes.  The three children also reported seeing a panorama of visions, including those of Jesus, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and of Saint Joseph blessing the people.

The most widely cited descriptions of the events reported at Fatima are taken from the writings of John De Marchi, an Italian Catholic priest and researcher. De Marchi spent seven years in Fátima, from 1943 to 1950, conducting original research and interviewing the principles at undisturbed length.  In The Immaculate Heart, published in 1952, De Marchi reports that, “their ranks (those present on 13 October) included believers and non-believers, pious old ladies and scoffing young men.  Hundreds, from these mixed categories, have given formal testimony. Reports do vary; impressions are in minor details confused, but none to our knowledge has directly denied the visible prodigy of the sun.”

Some of the witness statements follow below. They are taken from John De Marchi’s several books on the matter.

• “Before the astonished eyes of the crowd, whose aspect was biblical as they stood bare-headed, eagerly searching the sky, the sun trembled, made sudden incredible movements outside all cosmic laws — the sun ‘danced’ according to the typical expression of the people.” ― Avelino de Almeida, writing for O Século (Portugal’s most widely circulated and influential newspaper, which was pro-government and anti-clerical at the time Almeida’s previous articles had been to satirize the previously reported events at Fátima).

    • “The sun, at one moment surrounded with scarlet flame, at another aureoled in yellow and deep purple, seemed to be in an exceeding fast and whirling movement, at times appearing to be loosened from the sky and to be approaching the earth, strongly radiating heat.” ― Dr. Domingos Pinto Coelho, writing for the newspaper Ordem.

“The sun’s disc did not remain immobile. This was not the sparkling of a heavenly body, for it spun round on itself in a mad whirl, when suddenly a clamor was heard from all the people. The sun, whirling, seemed to loosen itself from the firmament and advance threateningly upon the earth as if to crush us with its huge fiery weight. The sensation during those moments was terrible.” ― Dr. Almeida Garrett, Professor of Natural Sciences at Coimbra University.

• “As if like a bolt from the blue, the clouds were wrenched apart, and the sun at its zenith appeared in all its splendor. It began to revolve vertiginously on its axis, like the most magnificent firewheel that could be imagined, taking on all the colors of the rainbow and sending forth multi-colored flashes of light, producing the most astounding effect. This sublime and incomparable spectacle, which was repeated three distinct times, lasted for about ten minutes. The immense multitude, overcome by the evidence of such a tremendous prodigy, threw themselves on their knees.” ― Dr. Formigão, a professor at the seminary at Santarem, and a priest.

    • “I feel incapable of describing what I saw. I looked fixedly at the sun, which seemed pale and did not hurt my eyes. Looking like a ball of snow, revolving on itself, it suddenly seemed to come down in a zig-zag, menacing the earth. Terrified, I ran and hid myself among the people, who were weeping and expecting the end of the world at any moment.” ― Rev. Joaquim Lourenço, describing his boyhood experience in Alburitel, eighteen kilometers from Fatima.

• “On that day of October 13, 1917, without remembering the predictions of the children, I was enchanted by a remarkable spectacle in the sky of a kind I had never seen before. I saw it from this veranda…” ― Portuguese poet Afonso Lopes Vieira.

Critical evaluation of the event
No scientific accounts exist of any unusual solar or astronomic activity during the time the sun was reported to have “danced”, and there are no witness reports of any unusual solar phenomenon further than forty miles out from Cova da Iria.
De Marchi claims that the prediction of an unspecified “miracle”, the abrupt beginning and end of the alleged miracle of the sun, the varied religious backgrounds of the observers, the sheer numbers of people present, and the lack of any known scientific causative factor make a mass hallucination unlikely. That the activity of the sun was reported as visible by those up to 18 kilometers away, also precludes the theory of a collective hallucination or mass hysteria, according to De Marchi.

Pio Scatizzi, S.J. describes events of Fátima and concludes:

    The … solar phenomena were not observed in any observatory. Impossible that they should escape notice of so many astronomers and indeed the other inhabitants of the hemisphere… there is no question of an astronomical or meteorological event phenomenon …Either all the observers in Fátima were collectively deceived and erred in their testimony, or we must suppose an extra-natural intervention.

Steuart Campbell, writing for the 1989 edition of Journal of Meteorology, postulated that a cloud of stratospheric dust changed the appearance of the sun on 13 October, making it easy to look at, and causing it to appear yellow, blue, and violet and to spin. In support of his hypothesis, Mr. Campbell reports that a blue and reddened sun was reported in China as documented in 1983.

Joe Nickell, a skeptic and investigator of paranormal phenomena, claims that the position of the phenomenon, as described by the various witnesses, is at the wrong azimuth and elevation to have been the sun. He suggests the cause may have been a sundog. Sometimes referred to as a parhelion or “mock sun”, a sundog is a relatively common atmospheric optical phenomenon associated with the reflection/refraction of sunlight by the numerous small ice crystals that make up cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. A sundog is, however, a stationary phenomenon, and would not explain the reported appearance of the “dancing sun”. Nickell suggests an explanation for this and other similar phenomena may lie in temporary retinal distortion, caused by staring at the intense light and/or by the effect of darting the eyes to and fro so as to avoid completely fixed gazing (thus combining image, after image and movement). Nickell concludes that there was

“likely a combination of factors, including optical and meteorological phenomena (the sun being seen through thin clouds, causing it to appear as a silver disc; an alteration in the density of the passing clouds, so that the sun would alternatively brighten and dim, thus appearing to advance and recede; dust or moisture droplets in the atmosphere, imparting a variety of colours to sunlight; and/or other phenomena).”

However, there are marked problems with the sundog theory because the meteorological conditions at the time of the Miracle of the Sun were not conducive to such an occurrence.  Sundogs occur in the presence of cirrus clouds, which are made out of ice, not water droplets. A sundog could have occurred prior to the rainstorm but not trailing the rainstorm, which is when the phenomenon occurred. A sundog would have to have occurred, at very least, hours prior to the storm, since cirrus clouds can precede a rainstorm by a few hours. The short and brief rain experienced before the sun event, on the other hand, indicates cumulonimbus clouds.

Not everyone reported seeing the sun “dance, including the children, who reported seeing Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and Saint Joseph blessing the people. Some people only saw the radiant colours. Others saw nothing at all.

Paul Simons, in an article entitled “Weather Secrets of Miracle at Fátima”, states that he believes it possible that some of the optical effects at Fatima may have been caused by a cloud of dust from the Sahara.

Kevin McClure claims that the crowd at Cova da Iria may have been expecting to see signs in the sun, as similar phenomena had been reported in the weeks leading up to the miracle. On this basis he believes that the crowd saw what it wanted to see. But it has been objected that McClure’s account fails to explain similar reports of people miles away, who by their own testimony were not even thinking of the event at the time, or the sudden drying of people’s sodden, rain-soaked clothes. Kevin McClure stated that he had never seen such a collection of contradictory accounts of a case in any of the research he had done in the previous ten years.

Leo Madigan believes that the various witness reports of a miracle are accurate, however he alleges inconsistency of witnesses, and suggests that astonishment, fear, exaltation and imagination must have played roles in both the observing and the retelling. Madigan likens the experiences to prayer, and considers that the spiritual nature of the phenomenon explains what he describes as the inconsistency of the witnesses.

Author Lisa Schwebel claims that the event was a supernatural extra-sensory phenomenon. Schwebel notes that the solar phenomenon reported at Fátima is not unique – there have been several reported cases of high-pitched religious gatherings culminating in the sudden and mysterious appearance of lights in the sky.

It has been argued that the Fátima phenomenon and many UFO sights share a common cause, or even that the phenomenon was an alien craft.

Many years after the events in question, Stanley L. Jaki, a professor of physics at Seton Hall University, New Jersey, Benedictine priest and author of a number of books reconciling science and Catholicism, proposed a unique theory about the supposed miracle. Jaki believes that the event was natural and meteorological in nature, but that the fact the event occurred at the exact time predicted was a miracle.

The event was officially accepted as a miracle by the Roman Catholic Church on 13 October 1930. On 13 October 1951, papal legate Cardinal Tedeschini told the million gathered at Fátima that on 30 October, 31 October, 1 November, and 8 November 1950, Pope Pius XII himself witnessed the miracle of the sun from the Vatican gardens.

External Links
Pictures of the crowd from, “Fatima Portugal Our Lady of Fatima”
“The True Story of Fatima” by Father John De Marchi

1924 – In Great Britain, – Labour Party leader Ramsay MacDonald became the first Prime Minister to make an election broadcast on BBC radio.

1940 – Princess Elizabeth, aged 14, (now Queen Elizabeth II), made her first radio broadcast to child evacuees.
1943 – World War II: The new government of Italy sides with the Allies and declares war on Germany.
The New York Times – front page news story

1958 – Burial of Eugenio Pacelli, Pope Pius XII on the 41st anniversary of the “Miracle of the Sun”.

1958 – Michael Bond publishes the first story on Paddington Bear.  Michael Bond, OBE, is an English children’s author.  He is the creator of Paddington Bear and has also written about the adventures of a guinea pig named Olga da Polga, as well as the animated BBC TV series The Herbs.  Bond also writes culinary mystery stories for adults featuring Monsieur Pamplemousse and his faithful bloodhound, Pommes Frites.

Paddington Bear 1

Michael Bond was born in Newbury, Berkshire, England on 13th January 1926.  He was educated at Presentation College, Reading.  During World War II Michael Bond served in both the Royal Air Force and the Middlesex Regiment of the British Army.

He began writing in 1945 and sold his first short story to a magazine called ‘London Opinion’. This experience helped him decide that he wanted to be a writer.

It was while Michael Bond was working as a television cameraman for the BBC that he first came up with the idea for Paddington and he recalls in his own words how this came about:

“I bought a small toy bear on Christmas Eve 1956. I saw it left on a shelf in a London store and felt sorry for it. I took it home as a present for my wife Brenda and named it Paddington as we were living near Paddington Station at the time. I wrote some stories about the bear, more for fun than with the idea of having them published. After ten days I found that I had a book on my hands. It wasn’t written specifically for children, but I think I put into it the kind things I liked reading about when I was young.”

Michael Bond sent the book to his agent, Harvey Unna, who liked it and after sending it to several publishers it was eventually accepted by William Collins & Sons (now Harper Collins).  The publishers commissioned an illustrator, Peggy Fortnum, and the very first book “A Bear Called Paddington” was published on 13th October 1958.  After the first Paddington book was accepted, Michael Bond went on to write a whole series.

The polite immigrant bear from Darkest Peru, with his old bush hat, battered suitcase and marmalade sandwiches became a classic English children’s literature icon.

In fact – by 1965 his books were so successful that Michael was able to give up his job with the BBC in order to become a full-time writer.

Paddington Bear 2

Since the first publication the Paddington books have sold more than thirty-five million copies worldwide and have been translated into over forty different languages, including Latin.

Paddington books have been translated into thirty languages across seventy titles and sold worldwide.  Over 265 licensees, making thousands of different products across the UK, Europe, USA, Southeast Asia, Japan, Australia and South Africa all benefit from the universal recognition of Paddington Bear.

In total Michael Bond has written almost 150 books, including his autobiography ‘Bears and Forebears’.

Paddington with Michael Bond

Michael Bond with Paddington – Britain’s most politest Bear!

Michael Bond sadly passed away 4 1/2 months ago, in London on 27 June 2017, at the wonderful age of 91.  Thank you Michael, for adding wonderfulness to children’s lives, and to the world in general.

1963 – The term Beatlemania was coined after The Beatles appeared at the Palladium, in London. They made their debut as the top of the bill on ITV’s ‘Sunday Night at The London Palladium.’
1967 – The first game in the history of the American Basketball Association is played as the Anaheim Amigos lose to the Oakland Oaks 134-129 in Oakland, California.

1971 – ‘World’ Series: The first night game in ‘World’ Series history is played at Pittsburgh’s Three Rivers Stadium between the Baltimore Orioles and Pittsburgh Pirates.
1972 – Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 crashes in the Andes mountains, in between the borders of Argentina and Chile. By December 23, 1972 only 16 out of 45 people lived long enough to be rescued.

1983 – Ameritech Mobile Communications (now AT&T) launched the first US cellular network in Chicago, Illinois. A cellular network is a radio network made up of a number of radio cells (or just cells) each served by a fixed transmitter, known as a cell site or base station. These cells are used to cover different areas in order to provide radio coverage over a wider area than the area of one cell. Cellular networks are inherently asymmetric with a set of fixed main transceivers each serving a cell and a set of distributed (generally, but not always, mobile) transceivers which provide services to the network’s users.
Cellular networks offer a number of advantages over alternative solutions:

    • • increased capacity
      • reduced power usage
      • better coverage

A good (and simple) example of a cellular system is an old taxi driver’s radio system where the taxi company will have several transmitters based around a city each operated by an individual operator.

1992 – In Great Britain, thousands of miners lose their jobs. The government announced plans to close one-third of Britain’s deep coal mines, putting 31,000 miners out of work.
BBC News Story

1993 – Captured American Pilot Mike Durant is filmed in an interview in captivity by a CNN camera crew.

Michael ‘Mike’ J. Durant (born July 23, 1961) is the American pilot who was held prisoner after a raid in Mogadishu, Somalia on October 3, 1993. Durant served in the United States Army 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Night Stalkers) as a Chief Warrant Officer 3. He retired from the Army as a CW4 Blackhawk helicopter Master Aviator in the 160th SOAR after participating in combat operations Prime Chance, Just Cause, Desert Storm, and Gothic Serpent. His awards include the Distinguished Service Medal, Distinguished Flying Cross with Oak Leaf Cluster, Bronze Star with Valor Device, Purple Heart, Meritorious Service Medal, three Air Medals, POW Medal, and numerous others. He and his wife Lisa have six children.

1994 – In Northern IrelandThree main loyalist paramilitary groups announced a ceasefire following an IRA announcement weeks earlier.
BBC News on the Day complete with Video footage and Timeline of events

Born on this Day

1853 – Lillie Langtry, British actress (d. 1929)

1904 – Wilfred Pickles, English actor and broadcaster (d. 1978)

1917 – George Virl Osmond, Osmond family patriarch (d. 2007)

1925 – Margaret Thatcher, British Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990.  Known as ‘The Iron Lady’ she was the longest-serving Prime Minister for more than 150 years.

1934 – Nana Mouskouri, Greek singer and politician

1941 – Paul Simon, American singer and musician (Simon and Garfunkel)

1944 – Robert Lamm, American musician (Chicago)

1946 – Edwina Currie, British politician

1947 – Sammy Hagar, American singer (Van Halen)

1948 – John Ford Coley, American musician – most well-known for his partnership in the musical duo England Dan & John Ford Coley.

1959 – Marie Osmond, American entertainer

1962 – Kelly Preston, American actress – married to John Travolta since 1991.

1969 – Nancy Kerrigan, American figure skater

~~💜~~

Thought for the Day 

What makes you think that what you’ve done in the past is worth carrying with you, like an old burden,  into this perfect moment.?  

Let go of it.

Mentally, envisage it as a way too big, dirty, old, overcoat that you have forced yourself to wear, day in, day out, for years.

It’s heavy, … it’s grubby,  …  it’s horrible.

Imagine yourself shrugging your shoulders and shrugging the overcoat off.  Feel it slipping down your arms, falling free of your hands and sliding to the floor around your feet.

Step out of it.  Now take your first step away from it.  Then stand for a moment and feel how much lighter your life feels without it.

Now – slowly – but in a better frame of mind . . .  walk away from it.

DON’T  look back.  DON’T  turn around.  You don’t need to look at it – it’s of no use to you.

You don’t need it anymore.  Leg it go.

With every step that you take away from it, feel how much lighter you become.  Feel how your footsteps become faster . . .  until you are almost skipping with joy!

Don’t drag old baggage around with you.  Each day is a new start.  What’s gone is gone.  Start anew.  Start NOW.

~~ 💙~~

Well we’ve reached our full input of Edumacation for Friday, and now that you’re filled with information which will surprise and astound some of your family and friends, I want you to go out there and spread that information around, for just like spreading fertiliser around your garden, which helps makes things grow … so your newly learned edumacation will enrich the world.  And quite frankly, at the moment, the world really needs as much enriching as possible.

Please, have a truly beautiful Friday.  There may be a gremlin that might just get into the day, but remember, it’s not what happens to you which matters in the long run, it’s how you react to what happens to you.  You have a choice.  Choose wisely because I want you to do the best you can possibly do, for YOU.

Sending squidges in wheel barrow loads …. right to your door!

sig-coffee-copy

 


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Things I’ve learned this Week

Act 1, scene 1:  Setting the scene:-

[The door is flung open.  She’s arrived, but not under her own steam.  She was blown through the door with the great force of a wind which took no prisoners.  And she arrived with as much grace as a cow in a china shop and making about the same amount of noise too!].

windy-day

WHOOO!!!  Flipping heck, its windy out there!  I don’t know about the weather where you are, but here in the UK (in various places dotted around Great Britain), Storm Doris has blown in and she’s making sure that her presence is felt.  Folks here have christened today (Thursday evening, as I’m writing this),  Doris Day.  HA!  Love it.  (actually giggle to myself every time I say it.  Doris Day.  Love that soooo much!).

The odd thing about the weather this week is that I went out two days before Doris Day wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a lightweight jacket.  I ended up taking the jacket off and leaving it in the car because it was SO hot!

sunny-day

We have a saying here: …  ‘Come to the UK and experience Snow;   Wind;  Rain;  Hail;  Sleet;  Sunshine;  Warmth;  Heat;  and Hotter than hot.  In fact all of the weathers,   all in one day!’

This week has been a mixed week.  I seem to have done much but only have a little bit to show for it.  I made a card for a blogging friends mum, who had broken her ankle.  I have photos, and now that the card has been received the other end, I can share the piccies with you.  I’ll blog the pictures in the next couple of days.  After making the card, I decided it was about time I cleaned my craft room and moved a few things around which were now in the wrong place.  Oh.  My.  Goodness!  Nightmare In the Craft Room time!    I got about half way through and really wished I hadn’t started this task.

I’m still finishing off.  And I’ll be so glad when everything is put in its rightful place, and all the papers and trimmings have all been put back where they belong.  phew!

Anyhoo...  you haven’t come here to listen to my ramblings about cleaning up.  You’ve come to get some edumacation.  (Yes I know it’s ‘education’  … but I prefer my word. lol)

So …  shall we dive in and get educationamalised?  Strap yourself in.  Ready?  And we’re OFF!  . . .

This week …  I learned to leave a fresh from the oven pizza all alone for at least five minutes  and NOT to take a bite of a slice until 5 minutes have passed.  How did I learn this?  ….  picture the scene dear reader …

The smells from the oven were over-whelming.  A gorgeous, tummy rumbling, nose twitchy sensation, hunger pangs sort of way.  The whole house smelled of the fabulous roasted vegetables which topped the pizza, along with the two different cheeses, and the little circles of garlic butter (the size of a penny) which dotted the top of the pizza.  And the Garlic bread which was cooking at the same time.

The timer dinged, sounding out its permission to remove that pizza from the oven.  Pizza and garlic bread were removed, and salad was waiting for the finished dishes.  The pizza was cut, popped onto the plates and served up.  The smell was way too much.  I couldn’t wait …  I lifted that slice up to my lips and took a bite of that fabulous triangular bit which came from the centre of the pizza.

What happened next was something that should have been reported on the news! (Unfortunately the POTUS pushed me off the top spot so I never even got a mention!).

What I didn’t know about that Pizza was that the toppings and the cheese came from the depths of the core of a VolcanoSo hot.  SO SO SO  –  H.O.T.!!!  Not spicy hot.  Hot as in ‘let me put an iron straight out of the blacksmith’s fire into your mouth and you bite down on it for a moment or two’.  Yeah, that sort of HOT.

I burnt the roof of my mouth behind my two front teeth.  Not just a little burn.  No.  I don’t do things by halves.  When I do things I go full-out and do ’em good.  Ohhhh… the roof of my mouth was sore for days.  The ‘problem’ lasted 4/5 days before I could brush my teeth in the normal way.  In the:   “I’m thinking about sunshine and flowers.  What am I wearing today?.  Why do I have the entire cast of the four-legged members of this household all in this tiny bathroom with me, looking up at me, waiting for me to what?  Tickle them all maybe?” … way.

I had to concentrate very, v. e. r. y.  carefully as I brushed the backs of those two teeth.  None of that brushing the gums as well motion.  Noooooooo.  I had to be sure that I brushed the teeth and only the teeth.  I had experienced the pain which occurred when I brushed the normal way I do, and I didn’t want to experience that again.  Care needed to be taken.

So I learned that I shouldn’t be a pig with Pizza.  Wait ….  wait….  and wait some more  … until the pizza was cool enough before you take a bite.  Good lesson to learn.

I’ve also learned this week: That the Cadbury’s factory make 600,000 Creme eggs every 12 hours, and all those eggs, if weighed, weigh THREE TIMES HEAVIER than an elephantThe moral of this tale is …  don’t eat more than one Cadbury Creme egg a week – unless you want to become an elephant.

I also learned that the Cadbury Brothers released the first filled eggs in 1923, but the Creme Eggs we all know today were introduced to stores only in 1963.  They were initially named Fry’s Creme Eggs. But in 1971, they were rebranded as Cadbury’s Creme Eggs.

Each Creme Egg consists of 180 calories.

According to a survey done by Cadbury, there are different ways of eating the Creme Egg:  53 percent of people bite off the top, lick out the cream, then eat the chocolate;  20 percent just bite straight through; whereas six percent use their finger to scoop out the cream.

Which group do you fit into?

I also learned this week that I miss some of the funny people from our films and TV screens who have either parted company with us, or chosen to sit back and enjoy life, or just aren’t getting the jobs offered to them anymore.  People such as  Steve Martin.  Bill Murray.  John Candy.  Robin Williams (I will never stop missing him).  Leslie Nielson.  Chevy Chase.  Danny DeVito.  Peter Sellers.  Vince Vaughn.  Jane Lynch.  Dan Aykroyd.

We need to laugh more.  I’m starting a movement for more funny stuff on TV.  Lobby your TV stations and tell them that in these difficult times in which we live, we need more funny stuff on TV!

I learned this week or should that be realised?  No, we’ll stick to learned.  I learned this week that I’m totally dumbfounded at how my attitudes towards certain things have changed as I’ve got older.

Things which were, in my opinion, ‘set in stone’ when I was in my twenties are now just not important at all.  Stuff which was so crucial in my thirties, really aren’t anything I bother about now.  Things which were of great significance are now …  meh.  They can all just slide on by me now.

What is important to me now is knowing that I am loved, and that the people I love KNOW I love them.  Can see that I love them.

Our (Mr.Cobs and I) two children, who had their trying times and their ‘I’m going to pour her down the drain‘ moments …  I now look back and see that in actual fact all that worry about them when they were in their teens,  was just me being an over protective mum.  I could see where ‘the dangers’ were and so would try to head them off before daughters 1 and 2 got to them.  But … I shouldn’t have.  They needed to learn, just like we all did.  Only by learning the lesson ‘the hard way’, would they actually learn what the needed to – that being … how to deal with the problem!

So … young mums reading ... allow your children to learn about the things they’re going to need to know about in adulthood.  Even if it’s how to get the lid off the Tupperware container …  or how to sort their dirty clothes into piles of whites, darks and mixed colours!  And WHY they need to learn that.  It’s a valuable lesson – knowing not to put all the washing in the machine without sorting it out and only washing the right things with each other …. as we’ve all learned!   😀

But …  enough of my ramblings!    … I know what you’re waiting for …  the JOKES!

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: The Telephone.

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the bank teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!”   The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’”   The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

and last but not least …. this little thing which I saw this week and it tickled the heck out of me  . . .

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Well that’s us done and dusted and all caught up for another Friday!  And not just any Friday either!  Today is the last Friday in this month.  Next Friday it will already be March.  We’re really racing through these months, aren’t we. Phew.  I can barely keep up.

I hope your Friday is a lovely one.  A day which passes without any problems, and no gremlins getting into the hours.

May your weekend be the weekend you’re hoping for.  May you sleep well and wake up feeling wonderful.

Sending you squidges, and hoping that life treats you well,  till we meet next time. 

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Things I learned this Week.

Haaaapy Friday!

It’s February.  The month of  ❤  Lurve. ❤  (imagine I’m saying that with a French accent … it will sound so much better.)

Did you know:  That February is the third month of winter?  In the Southern Hemisphere February is a summer month the equivalent of August …  so  G’day down there.  Hows your summer?

  • Also …  In Old English, February was called Solmonath (Mud month) or Kale-monath (Kale or cabbage month).  So Kale and Cabbage is on the menu for the rest of the month!
  •  Americans (I’m informed) have trouble with the word February – last year, a press release from the White House consistently spelt it as Feburary.
  • ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is the only Shakespeare play that mentions February.
  • The birthstone for February is amethyst.
  • The ancient Greeks believed that amethyst protected the wearer from drunkenness.

So … what have I learned this week?

Well …  I’ve learned that what I thought were just ‘quirks’, aren’t.   I really do seem to have some sort of OCD problems going on.    I’ve always thought I was just weird – or ‘pernickety‘, as my Grandma used to say.

Silly things can make me feel uncomfortable.  Sort of ‘wriggly’.  A picture hanging at an angle.  I’d have to straighten it up.  HAVE TO.  There is no choice about it.  If I walked out of a room and left it …  within about 3 minutes you’d find me back in that room straightening that picture. (even if it wasn’t even my house!)  But I just put that down to me being a tidy person.  Nothing wrong with that, eh?

If venetian blinds aren’t quite level … eventually they’d drive me nuts and I have to stand up and go over to sort them out.

Couldn’t bear it in my old doctors surgery when I saw that the bead chain thing on the bottom of the vertical blinds had come ‘un-hooked’ from one of the slats.  I waited until the seat by the blinds had become free, then moved over and fixed it.  (Daughter No. 1 wasn’t overly impressed mind).

But … this week there was an article which Mr.Cobs found in an on-line newspaper which he was reading and he told me about it, showing me some of the pictures.  Of course, I had to go to the website and have a better look!  Worst thing I did.  I should have closed my eyes.  Gone off and done something to take my attention away.  But I didn’t.  I looked!

The pictures I share with you here, are a selection from that article.  Let’s see how you get along with these.

I’ll start you off with a gentle one …

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1)  Does that ‘corner‘ upset you at all …  or is it just a clever bit of design?

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2)  You’ve sharpened your pencils.  You look at what a great job you did, … only…  you didn’t.  Is this going to upset you?  Do you feel like you want to reach into the computer screen and grab them so that you can do a better job?

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3)  Can you see the problem here?  Look at the bottom of the post, and where it finishes on the corner of the step.  Hmmm.  Could you live with that?  Or would it … DRIVE YOU NUTS EVERY SINGLE DAY?

 

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4)  Now I know that hole in the dashboard isn’t for your cups of coffee.  You probably know that hole isn’t for cups of coffee.  So – let’s pretend  …  You climb into the car.  How long could you live with that cup of coffee (or maybe it’s coke) living in that hole?  I’d last about 9 seconds.  Yes seriously.

Ok … let’s move the goal posts and take this one step further into madness  ….

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5)  Look at this photograph.  Don’t look away.  LOOK AT IT.  How long could you live with those handles not being level and those doors not fitting or level? 

Are you starting to feel your level of comfort shifting at all?

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6)   Imagine that you have to walk past this door every day, twice a day.  Once on going out, and once on coming home.  How fast would you have to walk past this door, with your face set to ‘stone’ and your eyes staring hard at the pavement, in an effort not to be drawn to even glancing in the direction of the door?

Are you beginning to get a sort of itchy feeling going on?  Feeling restless?

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7)   You use the restroom, and this is what you face when you go to wash your hands.  There are THREE sinks.  Why are there FIVE towel dispensers?  And why, if they felt the need to put FIVE paper towel dispensers over those three sinks, did they have to put them so …  ‘creatively’ on the wall??  OH … AND DO THEY KNOW THAT THE DARN BIN NEEDS EMPTYING???  [sigh.  grrrrrrrr!]

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8)   It was ‘right’ at some point.  When they first did the laying of the cobbles and the pavers, that manhole cover was done so that the pavers and the cobbles all matched.  However …. at some point, someone lifted that manhole cover to tend to something.  But when they put that cover back, they didn’t put it back correctly.  THIS would SERIOUSLY hiss me off SOOooo much that I’d be begging Mr. Cobs to lift it and put it right.    What about you?

 

Have we found your level of ‘un-acceptable’ yet?  What number of photograph got to you?

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9)   You had a new staircase put in…  but after the guys finished and left, you had an uncomfortable feeling about this first flight of stairs.  What the devil was wrong with it?  Something was wrong ….    Shall I give you a clue?   Ok … CLUE:  5 down.  Look at 5 down.

And finally …  I’ve left this photograph until last because …  well, for me at least,  this is the one which is probably THE most serious one of all.  This is the one which would get me using the word:  DIVORCE!  Either from himself or from either daughter.   Brace yourself …

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WHY???   Why would any sane person do this?  This isn’t normal behaviour.  Not for me.  Whoever did this …. I would have to have them committed. It’s not the behaviour of a person whose brain is functioning on any normal levels.  If they didn’t want the ‘crust’, then just cut a slice in a normal fashion, then cut off the crust and dispose of it into the bin – or put it on the bird table for the birds!

These photographs, although featured in an on-line Newspaper article, can be found on a website called   Bored Panda   …  but Bored Panda doesn’t just have these sorts of photos.  They have sections for practically everything.   Check out the  Little Polish Village  – where everything is covered in colourful flower paintings!   Oh … and while you’re there,  do take a peep at the  Two Disabled Rescue Cats  – which is not in the least bit sad.  Watch the video and you’ll smile for the rest of the day!

Anyhooo ...  Although I’ve learned a few things this week …  I wanted to share this OCD thing with you so that you could have a bit of fun with it too.

So I guess that the only thing left is ….  The Jokes!   Brace yourself ….

Bob left work one Friday evening.  But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Q.What has a bottom at its top?   —  A. A leg.

Q.  What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?   – – –  AA bah-humbug

Q.   How do you fix a broken Tuba?  —  A.  With a Tuba Glue!

Q.  What game would you play with a Wombat?  —  A.  Wom.

Q.  How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? —  A.  He felt his presents.

Q.  What do Cats eat for Breakfast?  —  A.  Mice Krispies

And those are the jokes folks!

I hope your week has been a good one, and that no gremlins got in there and spoilt anything.  However … if they did – you have to just remind yourself that sometimes we need a gremlin or two just to make our brains work out the way to deal with those little divils.  And ..  we learn by them.
I hope your weekend is relaxed and happy.  With a little love sprinkled around the place, and a few smiles to warm your heart.  Remember to share your own smile with someone else.  YOU might just change someone elses day, or even life.  We could all do with as many smiles as we can get.  So share yours!

Sending loving thoughts, happy wishes and loads of squidges ~

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday! 

Well we here and that means we made it through another week despite all the doom sayers and awful news on the TV and reports in the papers.  I guess, that when you think of all the things which could have happened to us,  and didn’t  . . .  we truly are blessed and in a great position to have an equally good weekend!

So anyhoo … we’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week and for me to educationamalise you with all my new-found intellamagence.  So please put on your water wings.  Batten down the hatches.  Fix your safety belt in place.  Press buttons 1 and 2 and . . . .   We’re Off! . . .

I’ve learned this week that:-  Man has advanced technologically in such a way that we can get signals back from a probe orbiting a great big gas giant a billion gazillion miles away, BUT  my mobile phone can’t work if there are one or two big trees near where I’m trying to use it.

I recall my daughter and son-in-law going on a fishing trip a couple of years or so ago, and she told me that she tried to call me from the boat, out in the ocean, but she couldn’t get a signal.  WHAT THE HECK?  Why can’t a cell phone find a signal, out in the middle of the ocean, on a fishing boat, with no trees, no bad weather, no buildings…. nothing at all around them to block the signals …. and yet, the message came up saying no signal.

Why is that?  Why can we fly a man to the moon, and back, and see him on TV jumping around his spaceship while he’s in space, and yet …  these boffins can’t get mobile phones to work adequately.  Nor can they get cable TV to work without a problem.  Nor Satellite TV to work brilliantly if there’s a big rain or snow storm.  COME ON YOU BOFFINS,  SORT IT OUT!

I think we should start a movement to tell our governments that we, the people, refuse to allow them to spend even so much as a penny more on space exploration until they’ve sorted out modern life for us here on planet Earth!

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I learned this week that A Spanish company has created a hi-tech mattress intended to tell the buyer whether their partner is being unfaithful in the conjugal bed when left alone at home.

The “Smarttress” apparently looks like any other mattress, but the manufacturer says that its concealed sensors detect suspicious movements in the bed.  If the pressure matches algorithms based on research carried out on sexual motions, the worried partner will receive a warning on his or her mobile phone.

If your partner isn’t faithful, then at least your mattress will be” – is the slogan being used by the bed maker Durmet.

Now several things strike me about this and I simply have to share them with you:

  1. I’d be a bit taken aback if Mr. Cobs suddenly had our mattress changed for no apparent reason.  The man (bless him) has a short arm and a long pocket, so for him to pay rather a pretty price (and they are rather pricey) for a new mattress is totally out of his ‘comfort zone’,  and I’m kind of guessing that other husbands/partners/wifes would be the same.  People don’t buy something big like a mattress for a surprise gift, like they would buy a bunch of flowers or box of chocolates.  So I’d already be a bit eyebrow knitted and questioning why he’d done it.
  2. Durmet (the makers) say:  “the technology is so advanced that the jealous app user will be able to see in real-time what parts of the bed are seeing the most activity, giving him or her a mental picture of exactly what their partner is up to”.  Hmm, well they’re already talking themselves out of sales because if someone is found to be having an affair on that mattress, then, personally, I wouldn’t want to sleep on the mattress ever again, so it would be thrown out.  What a waste of money!
  3. It doesn’t tell you if your partner is having a wild love life on the stairs;  in the garden shed;  on the kitchen floor;  in the car;  in a Hotel; or at the home of their ‘lover’.  So it’s not that brilliant as an idea.
  4. And finally . . . . .  I doubt very much that at my age and decrepit state of health,  I’d get the moves required to send the signal, to any device other than my Doctors telling them I’d broken a hip whilst trying to do the ‘dance of lurve’ on a new mattress!

I’ve learned this week (from a television light entertainment programme)  that devices such as the one you’re reading this blog post on right at this moment, give off something called Blue Light.  Now this ‘blue light’ actually has a bad affect upon a person,  particularly so if you’re exposed to it for 2 to 3 hours before going to bed. 

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I quote from the report:

Until the advent of artificial lighting, the sun was the major source of lighting, and people spent their evenings in (relative) darkness.  Now, in much of the world, evenings are illuminated, and we take our easy access to all those lumens pretty much for granted.

But we may be paying a price for basking in all that light.  At night, light throws the body’s biological clock—the circadian rhythm—out of whack.  Sleep suffers.  Worse, research shows that it may contribute to the causation of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity.

Blue wavelengths—which are beneficial during daylight hours because they boost attention, reaction times, and mood—seem to be the most disruptive at night.

Researchers have linked short sleep to increased risk for depression, as well as diabetes and cardiovascular problems.

So … if you find yourself suffering with problems sleeping, or even find yourself over-eating,  here are some things you could do to try to cut out that blue light which just might be the thing which is causing your problem(s) . . .

  • Use dim red lights for night lights. Red light has the least power to shift circadian rhythm and suppress melatonin.
  • Avoid looking at bright screens beginning two to three hours before bed.
  • If you work a night shift or use a lot of electronic devices at night, consider wearing blue-blocking glasses or installing an app that filters the blue/green wavelength at night.
  • Expose yourself to lots of bright light during the day, which will boost your ability to sleep at night, as well as your mood and alertness during daylight.

I’ve also learned a lesson about myself this week

I’ve learned that the older I’ve become, the more respect I need to be shown.  This would come as a surprise to some of the folks who know me in real life (when they realise that this change has taken place).  I’ve found that I don’t like this apparently newish’ idea of medical folks calling me by my Christian name.  I expect and require them to treat me respectfully and call me by my title:  Mrs. Cobs.  I’m not their ‘friend’ and they’re not they mine – so Mrs. Cobs will do perfectly well, thank you.

Neither am I willing to allow people to be rude to me and then expect me to simply forget how badly they’ve behaved, without them even thinking that they owe me an apology, and/or and explanation.

This new ‘thing’ has surprised me, because I’ve always been someone who puts myself last.  I’ve always been a stickler for making sure that (for example) Mr. Cobs is given the full respect he deserves, but have never pushed for that same respect to be shown to me.  So finding myself this week facing a situation where this sudden realisation became clear to me, it’s kind of surprised me, and I’m still trying to get used to the feeling that, actuallyI’m important, and the way I’m treated is important.  And …  that I’m not willing to ignore the things I would have always ignored before, because I believed that I wasn’t that important so *it* didn’t matter.  *It*  DOES matter . . .   and so do I.

It’s an odd feeling … and I’m still getting used to it – but it seems to ‘fit’.

Well … you know what it’s time for now, don’t you?

You can take off your tin helmets.  Remove your safety belts.  Kick off your shoes.  Take a deep breath, and … r.e.l.a.x.

These are the Jokes, Folks!

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the deep C diva.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? …….Bison.

What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?  A small medium at large

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?   –  right-click, hold the click and roll cursor over here for the answer:—->A carrot<—-

Two cows are standing in a field and one cow says to the other: “What do you think about that mad cow disease?”, the other cow responds: “What do I care “I’m a helicopter”

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
Beatrix Potter

Why did Tigger have his head down the toilet?
He was looking for pooh

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy bear

What animal drops from the sky?
A rain deer

What did one volcano say to other?
I lava you

Q: What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?   A:   Feyoncé!!

And finally ….  I learned this week …. That the shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me.  I love this weekly thing we have going on.  May today be easy.  May you give and get smiles.  And may you end the day with a smile, knowing that when you think of all the things that could have gone wrong today, today turned out to be not so bad a day after all.

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Have a truly blessed day my friends.

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Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday!  . . .  Apparently it’s now officially winter – as far as ‘weather reports’ are concerned.  I don’t know why this happens or the reasons for this.  I only heard it on the weather report this morning but I was so busy taking in this information and trying to work out if I’d heard it correctly that I didn’t hear the reasoning behind it.  But there you have it.  It’s winter.

They are reporting that the UK set for the heaviest snowfall for years, and the Long-range forecast warns that the Winter of 2016 is going to be THE BIG FREEZE!   Saying that Britain is facing the heaviest snowfalls in years this winter, as the country’s first icy blast arrives soon, and it will unleash (apparently)  four months –  (FOUR MONTHS!?) –  of heavy snow and sub-zero temperatures.  I read that forecasters have announced this,  and they added:  “expect a very ‘exciting’ December with the possibility of a White Christmas this year“.  OK….  so  NOW I’M GETTING EXCITED! 

The last white Christmas I remember was in the 1980’s …  so this would be such a huge event and I’m already feeling the excitement of it.  In fact … so much so that I’ve even bought a woolly bobble hat!   (If you read one of my posts a few weeks ago, you’ll already know that I look like an extraordinarily comical, female, over-sized unwanted 8th Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves  when wearing ANY hat.  So this new bobble hat is a BIG thing for me to have bought!).

It’s a chilly, cold wind which is already blowing around outside.  This morning, here where we live in the South of Great Britain,  it was minus 6.  Mr. Cobs informed me of this when he came back in the house from letting the chickens out to play.  I believed entirely that it was minus 6, for I could feel that minus 6 blow right through our little cottage when he opened the door to come back in!  It made me want to hibernate!  Brrrr!

Oh anyhoo…  we’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week so let’s get on with it, shall we?

This weeks Lessons in the Key of Life seem to have been (in a lot of circumstances)  about things which start with the letter H!  I have no idea why, but I thought I’d go with it and share this Letter H stuff with you.  Hats on?  Had your shots?  Here we go …

Henge Stonehenge to be precise.  I learned that Stonehenge was in private ownership until 1916, when it was bought,  on the spur of the moment by Sir Cecil Chubb, who was the owner of a local lunatic asylum,  as a present for his wife. Three years later she gave the site to the nation. 

Now this posed a question for me.  Why would a chap buy his wife some big stones which weren’t of the diamond variety?  Did he think this would earn him brownie points?  Well … the fact that she gave this gift away just three years later, must surely have told him something.

So, in the interests of happy Christmas days to come, may I make a suggestion to all the fabulous chaps who read this Friday post (and I know there are a few of you because I have the class register with your names clearly shown on it) ….  Here’s my tip for Christmas Gifts for the fabulous women in your life.   If you’re struggling to find something she’ll be happy to receive,  I truthfully think that if you go by this one rule, you’ll probably strike the right chord:  Buy:-  Something with a Hallmark on it.

You can thank me later.

Hypnotism.  Did you know that:  English writer – Charles Dickens’ marriage broke down partly because of his obsession with Hypnotism Now this surprised me, because if you read a little bit of information about Mr. Dickens you’d find a whole lot more stuff which would and could have broken down his marriage way before this obsession!

I learned this week that:  Apparently Chickens can be hypnotised.   From what I learned:  The record period for a chicken remaining in a hypnotic state is 3 hours 47 minutes.  

Holidays.  Let’s start with a Holiday inspired joke, just to lighten the mood, shall we?

The girl at the Ryanair check-in desk said,   –   “Window or aisle?”
I replied,  –  “Window or you’ll what?”

fnar fnar!

 I have to explain –  here in Great Britain (at least), a ‘Holiday’ is what people of the USA call a ‘Vacation’.  Where-as Christmas is NOT a holiday to the folk of the UK. Christmas is exactly as it says.  It’s CHRISTMAS – and we don’t call it anything but that.

So now we know that  ….

I learned this week that popular Holiday island Hawaii was discovered by Captain Cook in 1778 and named the Sandwich Islands in memory of his patron, the Earl of Sandwich. On landing, he and every man on his crew became completely constipated: one man suffered for 44 days in a row. The men became the first Westerners to witness the traditional Hawaiian sport of surfing.  Cook was murdered in Hawaii in 1779.

The Hawaiian State flag is the only US flag to feature a Union Jack.  It also has eight red white and blue stripes representing the eight main Hawaiian islands.

The ‘wiki’ in Wikipedia is Hawaiian for ‘fast’.

Here’s a question for you: 

I want those of you who have had Haemorrhoids to put your hand up.  Go on.  No one is going to see you, you’re all alone!

Those of you who didn’t put your hands up . . .  are fibbers!

Haemorrhoids : everyone has them!  I learned this week, from watching a TV programme at about 2am in the morning, (sleep escaped me), that EVERYONE has haemorrhoids (UK spelling).  They’re apparently like little cushions in the walls of your B.T.M. and live there quite happily.  However … something happens to upset them, and that’s when they become a problem.  It could be childbirth, carrying a little extra weight, ‘straining’, or even, apparently, a sneeze can cause them to inflame.  However – that old wives tale that sitting on a radiator gives you piles or haemorrhoids, is exactly that.  An old wives tale.  There’s nothing to prove that this causes the problem.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the final H of our ‘What I’ve Learned This Week’ list…..  Happiness.  Or Happiness in the form of Jokes, to be precise.  Are you ready for a chuckle?

Q)  What’s green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? 

A)  A pool table.

Q)  What did the Pirate say when he turned 80?

A)  Aye Matey.

I tried to catch fog yesterday.    Mist.

Q)  Why does a Chicken Coop have two doors?   A)  If it had four, it’d be a chicken sedan.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”. . . . 
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”  . . . . .
Doctor: “Nine.”

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.

A male friend met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. He rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

How do you make a tissue dance?  You put a little boogie into it.

Where does a sheep go for a haircut?  To the baaa baaa shop!

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?  Because it has a silent pee.

And finally ….  I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee with me.  I love seeing you here.
Have a wonderful day, doing whatever it is that you’ll be doing.  Remember … you have a choice of what sort of day you have.  Choose a Good one!
Oh …   and have a fabulous weekend.  May you find peace and rest, and maybe a few smiles along the way.

Sending squidges to you in your corner,  from me in mine.  ~

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