Funshine Friday!

Yesterday,  Thursday, was the first day FOR WEEKS that it didn’t rain (or snow).   Personally I think a celebration is in order! 

We’ve had the most awful rain here in the South of England.  Heavy, bucketing it down, soak you to the skin, horrid, horrible rain.  I’ve had to remind myself, over and over, that God doesn’t tell me when to water my garden, so I don’t have the right to tell him when to water his.  I’m pretty sure that there’s method in what I consider to be a ‘rain madness’ – and I’m sure that all will become clear(ish) eventually.  But until then, I’ve agreed with Mr.Cobs that it’s probably better that he continue to build the Ark  from the kit I bought him, which he began work on a few weeks ago:

Noahs Ark Kit

Not entirely convinced that it’s going to be big enough for all those 2×2 animals from around the world that are the requirement for a structure like this – but we’ll do our best, and if they have to be Lego sized, then so be it.  I’ll pack a magician who might be able to turn them into the real deal when we get through the journey.   😀

Aaanyhoo  . . .   I thought we could do with a smidgen of fun on a Friday, since we are now officially in Spring (except for those of you on the other side of the planet – and I’m sure ‘fun’ is a requirement for Autumn  going into Winter, down there!).  So with FUN in mind, I share with you a Text Message received from daughter No.2 . . .

She sent me, in full, the following:

The Washington Post has published its yearly neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meaning for common words … and the winners are:

  1. Coffee (n), the person upon whom one coughs.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly  (adj), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
  8. Gargoyle (n), gross olive-flavoured mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  10. Balderdash (n),  a rapidly receding hairline.
  11. Rectitude (n),  the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
  12. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologists.
  13. Circumvent (n), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
  14. Frisbeetararianism  (n), (back by popular demand):  The belief that when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Those tickled me in just the right place,  and also brought back a memory of something I read a few years ago, about words which had a meaning of what they meant, and also the opposite of what they meant.  Get these . . . .

  • Dust, along with the next two words, is a noun turned into a verb meaning either to add or to remove the thing in question.  Only the context will tell you which it is. When you dust are you applying dust or removing it?  It all depends whether you’re dusting the crops or the furniture.
  • Screen can mean ‘to show’ (a movie) or ‘to hide’ (an unsightly view).
  • Seed can also go either way.  If you seed the lawn you add seeds, but if you seed a tomato you remove them.
  • Stone is another verb to use with caution. You can stone some peaches, but please don’t stone your neighbour (even if he says he likes to get stoned).
  • Trim as a verb predates the noun, but it can also mean either adding or taking away. Arising from an Old English word meaning ‘to make firm or strong; to settle, arrange,’ “trim” came to mean ‘to prepare, make ready.’ Depending on who or what was being readied, it could mean either of two contradictory things: ‘to decorate something with ribbons, laces, or the like to give it a finished appearance’ or ‘to cut off the outgrowths or irregularities of.’ And the context doesn’t always make it clear. If you’re trimming the tree are you using tinsel or a chain saw?
  • Resign works as a contronym in writing. This time we have homographs, but not homophones. “Resign,” meaning ‘to quit,’ is spelled the same as “resign,” meaning ‘to sign up again,’ but it’s pronounced differently.
  • Off means ‘deactivated,’ as in “to turn off,” but also ‘activated,’ as in “The alarm went off.”

See … even on non edumacational days, you STILL learn something new!  lol

Have a truly blessed rest of your day, and a wonderful weekend.

Sending you much love ~

Coffee Sig






Author: The Art of Cobwebs - aka:- thecobweboriumemporium

Hello. I'm 'Cobwebs'. I live in a wee little cottage in the South of England, aptly called Cobweb Cottage. This little dwelling really is a cobweb factory. Not inside (well, occasionally) - but outside - flipping heck! This information should give you a clue as to why my blog is called The Art of Cobwebs aka: The Cobweborium Emporium. I've been arty and crafty from a very young age, and although my crafts have sometimes turned a corner and taken me in another direction, I've always crafted in some way, shape or form. One day, in the blink of an eye, life changed somewhat for me and the consequences were many. I had to find a new way of being 'artistic'. Card making; scrap-booking; producing ATC's and ACEO's; needle felting; Polymer clay; painting- but in a more relaxed style than I had before, and sewing, - are all things which I visit, as and when life allows. I've fairy recently become a Textile Artist and am enjoying this new creative outlet very much as it offers me so much scope for letting my imagination run through a grassy field and feel the wind in my hair - (mentally, of course). I love to create. To make things. I truthfully believe that the best gifts in the world are those in which you've given your time, rather than your cash. Thank you so much for visiting. Please visit my blog (link below) and have a look around. I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy, even if it's only a handful of jokes! (yes, seriously - there really are jokes!) Wishing you a truly blessed rest of your day! ~ Cobs. <3

59 thoughts on “Funshine Friday!”

  1. LOLOLOLOL Cobs!!! I love this post more than you can imagine. Exactly my type of humor….Yes I am flabbergasted and I am having to abdicate!! I was going to pick a favorite and that is impossible because I do truly think they are all so entirely perfect and so funny.
    Aaaahhhh truly needed this one Cobs. Thank you for brightening my day and weekend. You are so good for me. CG

    Liked by 2 people

    1. lol…. 😀
      Aw I’m sat here grinning like the Cheshire cat. I’m so glad that I’ve given your chuckle muscle a work out.
      A chuckle muscle which is in full working order, is a requirement for a Funshine Friday, and a Wonderfully Wicked Weekend.

      Sending much love to you, Chicken. ~ Cobs. xxx ❤


      1. Cobs,
        I am Chicken Grandma’s Sister in Law, so I guess I am the Chicken Aunt. I absolutely LOVED this post!!! I adore words and all kinds of wordy fun. Thanks for the smiles!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oooohh 😀 ….. tis truly wonderful to ‘meet’ you Debs / Chicken Aunt 😀
          I’m tickled from the tips of my toes to the top of my head that you came for a visit and so thrilled that you enjoyed this post.
          Thank you so much for coming Chicken Aunt. ❤
          BIG Squidges ~ Cobs. xxx


    1. Hello, and Happy Funshine Friday!
      Aw, tickled pink that you found some fun here which hit the spot.

      As for the rain – I’d seriously capture it and send it by 1 day courier if I could. Our garden here actually squeaks and is spongey underfoot – it’s THAT wet.
      Even my poor dog hates walking on it and can’t find a place where she feels happy to do a tiddle. Poor little darling.

      Thank you for coming. Sending squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Ali. 😀
      Aww, so glad that your chuckle muscle is in fine working order and got a great work out this morning.
      Hope no one complained about being woken up because of your giggles – but if they did …. point them to this post and I’m sure that they’ll get rid of the grumps pretty quickly. 🙂

      Thanks for coming Ali. Have a blessed rest of your day ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello SG 😀
      The English language – it’s so rich and plumptious …. but so confusing to those who don’t speak it. And when they think they have a ‘handle’ on it … awww that’s when it makes my eyes sparkle and shine with glee and fun. Tickles the heck outta me. lol

      Thanks for coming. Great to see you here. 😀
      Have a great rest of your day! ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You can book a place at the Booking Office. You’ll find this by going down the corridor and it’s first on the right.

      It must be the Loo – because Mr.Cobs always says he’s “going to the office” when he visits that little room – so I’m guessing that it must be the Booking Office.
      Thanks for visiting Mrs.A 😀 ~ Cobs. 🙂


  2. You have perfectly summed up why the English language is totally and utterly bonkers! I kept going through those alternative meanings to pick my favourite but I honestly couldn’t choose one. They are so funny.

    Ah, the rain. I was glad I was tucked up dry with my cat. My husband was horrified that his beloved football team had to cancel a match because the pitch was water logged. How awful……………. 😉 Hxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh how dreadful that must have been for you Hannah – a cancelled football match! How does the world continue to turn in such circumstances?
      (yeah, I’m being sardonic. blimey – there’s a word I almost cut my tongue on! lol)

      You’ve hit the nail on the head Hannah … the English language really is bonkers. No wonder people entering English speaking countries find it so difficult to express themselves in English. It’s a total nightmare.
      (but I love it! lol).
      Squidges to you Hannah ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A ridiculous language opens up a whole host of possibilities. I love to see that funny looks I get off my kids when I say something that sounds totally silly to them – ‘killing two birds with one stone’ – that kind of thing. They are very literal children anyway (got to love autism!) so really think I mean what I say.

        Ha ha, I read your comment about football in a sarcastic tone. I know right, how awful that football should ever be cancelled. He really takes it personally. Hxx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Autism … somehow, to me anyway, it feels like a kind of magic. There’s something there which is magical. (Aw I cannot explain it – I think because it’s a feeling. Feelings are so bloomin’ difficult to pin down to a few words!).

          Little Cobs latest thing (which his mummy explained to me was part of his Autism) – is to HATE being out of the house when it begins to go dark. He P.A.N.I.C.S like nothing I’ve seen before if he notices that the light is fading.
          We think it’s beginning to loosen it’s hold on him now … but it’s been a difficult time and patience is required in lorry loads. phew.

          Football …. drives ….. me ….. N..U..T..S.
          I cannot be in a room where I can hear that roar of the watchers in the stadium. And the commentators need to grow up and stop having an attack of the vapours every time the ball gets near a goal post!

          Football = a game for boys.

          Hannah … you and I …. next time football is on …. cakes, wine, coffee, tea, nibbles, and all in the living room.
          Small portable TV sited in the shed with a deck chair or two. TV tuned to football silliness, add a 4 pack cans of beer and a tube of Pringles. SORTED. 😀

          This sounds like a plan! lol C. xxx

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Sorry for the delay in replying – Its been a tough few weeks 😦 Autism – magical is one word for it (and with my son it really can be) pain the rear end is another way to describe it. My poor daughter. Uncertainty over entering the summer term at school and anticipation of the new academic year in SEPTEMBER is already causing issues. I wish I could take her Autism and shove it somewhere.

            Oh dear, I hope little Cobs fear of being out in the dark has improved and if not at least the nights are lighter for longer now. Both my kids at one point developed a fear of something peculiar. My daughter (and son to a degree) became very scared of being out in the rain and with the British weather we all know and love that was kind of a pain and led to many days trapped indoor as I couldn’t cope with the screaming if we were to go out. My son decided he was scared of traffic a few years ago whilst we were on holiday. We couldn’t go anywhere because we stayed in a busy town!

            Just an aside Cobs, why do the chaps get the tube of Pringles?! They are my favourite. If you are anything like me you will now wonder what on earth I am going on about because its been that long since you replied to me about football lol.

            Hannah x

            Liked by 1 person

            1. [laughing to myself here] .. .. .. Yes, I remember Hannah! (which is strange when you consider the size of my one brain cell!)

              Pringles …. I can understand your love, for I like those too. But .. the problem is that I can’t just eat one …. or five. or …. well …. I don’t eat a whole tube you understand, but I do eat too many before I force myself to stop. It’s a dreadful thing. I think that the problem lies in that second the Pringle hits my lips. I feel that saltiness and then the Pringle touches my tongue and finally …. I BITE! Ohhh the fabulousness of the crispy bite.!!! They sort of C.R.A.C.K. in your mouth and I love that sound and feeling.

              Nope…. I no longer eat Pringles because I pop and can’t stop.

              The Rain …. Ohhhh I’m SO glad that you told me about this for I thought it was just Little Cobs. He has this thing about the rain, and it raining on his head. Totally freaks him out and his mummy and daddy have taken to only buying tops and coats that have an attached hood, just in case it rains!

              I feel so desperate for your daughter, who’s filled with dread about the new school year starting in September. It must be so stressful for her, having to have this need to look to the future and plan for it, when it’s not something she’s looking forward to.

              If it were Disney World, she’d likely be thrilled to pieces about it …. but school …. well that’s a whole different pot of boiling water. Poor poppet.
              And poor you too. I cannot imagine how awful it must be for you Hannah. As a mum we want to make our children’s lives happy – and remove anything which causes them upset. Sadly, when the upset comes from within from something like Autism, we fight a battle with a warrior whose dirty tricks twist and turn and make life difficult.

              Don’t lose HOPE, Hannah. Hope, love and positivity are on your side and battling with you.
              Sending BIG love ~ Cobs. xxx


  3. I have always heard the English language is the hardest to learn and I myself have trouble even though it is the only one I have.
    Funny story here…We lived in Atlanta years ago and a little chap in our church ask his teacher one day if she had ever been stoned. Well..being a Christian school teacher she was taken back. When questioned a little more he said pointing to his forehead…” A bee stoned my right here”. lol
    We are expecting flooding rain this afternoon into the evening. Ground is already soggy so there are flash flood warnings out. Glad we are on a hill. And to top it off..34 degrees F. tomorrow night. But everything is beautiful. We will see how the figs etc. fair the drop in temps.
    Baseball and softball all day tomorrow…depending on the rain of course. Have a lovely weekend at Cob Towers keep us updated on Mr. Cobs building the ark. xoxoto all

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Bev! 😀
      The little boy … “stoned” … laughed myself silly at that. I could picture the whole scene inside my head, and the face of the teacher when he asked her if she’d ever been stoned!!! LOLOLOL. Bless his beautiful heart.

      Your warnings of Flash Flooding … I do hope they’re wrong – or that a good old fashioned wind blows that rain off its course and out into the sea.

      Weather here has been a total delight today (Friday) too. Sun shining, but still very cool, as expected in early spring. But it feels more positive. It holds a promise in the gentle breeze. I can hear it, feel it. Trees are beginning to green up and the earth is saying hello to us again. Tis truly wonderful Bev.

      I shall keep you posted regarding the Ark. Bit worried that monkey, aligators, and all sorts of other animals are going to be turning up and I’ll have no room for them! (or food!)
      I’m hoping Mr.Cobs finds a little time to build the shelves he’s promised in my craft room. Everything is all over the place as I’ve had to move stuff so that he can get in there and do the necessary job. I’m starting to think I’ll never find anything again, as it’s spread out between conservatory and other end of craft room! eeeeek!

      Sending BIG love ~ Cobs. xxx


  4. Cobs, I fell for it. I thought Cobi was something else from your Emporium and this was a new range you were releasing. I had to investigate and found that Cobi is completely separate from you. I am surprised.
    I’m sure with your magical abilities you’ll be able to fit more than two of every species in your ark by the time you’ve finished building it… and yes – it was rather moist the other day, wasn’t it?
    Esplanade… what it says on the tin! *hic* 😀
    I love these words which have double meanings (well, my name is Thomas, which means ‘twin’, so there has to be some connection to me there somewhere!) – and opposite meanings as well. The odd thing is that we *know* which meaning we are referring to. (I use ‘we’ in the generic sense… I sometimes have to stop and ponder for a moment for it to sink in…)
    Great and Fabulous Funshine Friday post, Cobs… and here’s to a Wonderful Weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL … Hello Tom.
      I think you were the first and possibly only person to have noticed that the set was made by Cobi. How fantastically fortunate was that find?!!!
      It could almost have been a photo manipulation – but it wasn’t. It’s a really real thing. YAY! (giggling here).

      I love the English Language. We have such a richness about our language which makes it such a bundle of fun to speak.
      And … our large selection of words which mean more than one thing, or can be used for different meanings dependant upon the situation – ohhh they’re so delicious. Like a plum, English strawberry from Somerset, or Kent. (other counties are available)

      Thanks for coming for a visit Tom. I’ve wrapped you a selection of cakes that I saw you gazing at from the table. 😉 Enjoy!
      ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have a tendency to spot little details, Cobs – sorry about drooling all over the cakes there, but you know what I’m like – not that those cakes were ‘little details’ by any stretch of the imagination! Yes, Cobi was a fabulous find (and I did scour the image for a ‘made by Cobs at the…’ watermark, but there wasn’t one)’
        Words are fun. I love playing with them. Flower is a favourite of mine. And I love reading about words. I’m on page 404 of the dictionary as I type! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. You have done it again. I had the best time visiting today. What a fantastic fun post. Made me laugh a lot.. luckily though I didnt spill my coffee!! Thank you for having me! I had a lovely visit I am off to work and am going to avoid being flatulance. =) xoxoxoxox my friend…. have a fabulous weekend ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovely Rabbit – it’s such a joy to see you. I’m waaaay behind on blogging reads, but I can see from my reader that you’ve posted something, and I’m heading your way …. so will be there at some point today. (I hope! eeek)

      Tickled that you got a smile from this post.
      Thank you so much for visiting Rabbit. You bring a ray of sunshine with you each time you come.
      Sending you much love and a bucket full of squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Hello Rabbit…
          ‘catch up’ . . . I’m currently SO far behind that I don’t think I’ll ever catch up.
          I know you’ve posted something on your blog … I’ve seen a flash of it on my reader … and I’m making my way to it… it just might take me a short while to get to it – but I’m coming for a visit. I really am!
          love ~ Cobs. xxx

          Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m officially tickled too! I loved the trimming the tree with tinsel or chainsaw image. I’m in a good mood for the day bow and ready to tackle my allotment (the shed is being transformed into an ark very soon!) and I’m feeling cheery enough for this long walk around a country park with the kids. Happy weekend to you, hope you don’t need your ark x x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I honestly, tuthfully, knew that trimming the tree bit would ‘speak’ directly to you. I just knew it!!! 😀

      Your day sounds like it might be one which makes you ache, and so I’m going to advise that you be careful. We don’t want you getting into any mischief down on that allotment.

      Here … work continues on the Ark… for it is R.A.I.N.I.N.G. ….. A…G….A…I…N!!!!!!!

      [video of Dick Dastardly's dog, Muttley, doing his version of swearing and cross, should be mentally inserted here] Grrrrrr!

      Hope the weather holds off for you there, and that conditions are dry and not too cold.
      Sending love and squidges ~ Cobs. xxx


  7. Phew made it here without being sidetracked by mice, cats, rain – oh my gosh I LOVE that Noah’s Ark! I would have loved that when I was a little girl, I always preferred stuffed animals to dolls. The new Action Man advert makes me laugh though..

    Raining here again, rather sobering item of news. Dog owners here are being warned to check their dogs’ paws after muddy walks in case of something called Alabama Rot, thought I would pass it on.

    A lighter note – loved the wordplay! Laughing hysterically and can’t possibly choose a favourite! 😸😸😸

    Just looked out of my window…still raining…*sigh* um, am I too late too book a place on the Ark??

    Lots of love to you and thank you for a wonderful post! 😺💕xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The New Action Man ad ….. is that the one for Moneysupermarket? The one where all the Action Men are dancing and stripping? If so …. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!
      The minute I hear it begin, I dive for the remote and mute the TV. Without the music it’s funny. With the music …. I end up singing that darn, blast it to heck and back song.

      For those who haven’t seen it, this is what Samantha and I are talking about…

      Like you … it’s raining again here too. All day yesterday (with occasional breaks, long enough for the dog to pop into the garden), and it’s been pouring down all night long and all this morning. I’m so sick of it now… I’m even sick of the sound of it – and this from someone who loves the tinkling sound of rain!).

      Yes, we’ve heard about Alabama Rot here too (South of England). There was a big newspaper piece warning for dog owners about it, as there was a local wooded area which they warned dog owners not to take their dogs. Horrible disease.

      Aw tickled pink that you enjoyed the word play.

      As for the Ark … I’m not sure if the whole thing has sunk into the mud! I’ll look later, and if it’s still there I’ll put your name on the ‘Lettumin” list. 😀

      Thanks for coming Samantha. Love love seeing you. Heaps of squidges ~ Cobs. xxx ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: