Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Happy Friday!  Yes, it’s THAT time of the week again.  And, as usual, it’s come around waaay too quickly.

It’s been a ‘difficult’ week this week.  I was of the impression during the Easter weekend, that I had been turned into Super Woman …. and consequently did a little more than my body is currently designed for.  Me body went on strike!  How very dare it!  It’s partially still on strike, but I’m hoping that me pretending to be fine and groovy will kick it into action again and we’ll be rocking and rolling as per usual very soon.

Well, as well as learning that I’m not Super Woman – which was a great .. no … HUGE disappointment to me,  I’ve also learned one or two other things, and I’m here to share them with you, so that you can be as educationamalised as what I is.  As what I am.  As what I woz?  As what I’m now?  As what…  erm….  As what you should be?

As you will be after reading this post.  (phew … that was touch and go there for a minute!) lol  😊

Ok .. let’s get going, shall we?

I learned this week, after watching a TV special, that there is rather a swish hotel in Marrakech which I’d really LOVE to visit.  It’s the most beautiful, (if not the best) hotel in the whole world.  It’s called:  The Royal Mansour,  and I know that I couldn’t do it anywhere near justice in describing it here, but boy oh boy I wish I could share the programme with you.

It was commissioned by King Mohammed VI, who often hosts his guests in its 53 private riads, which are situated in almost four hectares of fragrant Moorish gardens.

It has 53 two-storey villas which are set in beautiful, manicured gardens which have lily ponds and fountains dotted around them.  Privacy is at a premium there and even staff scurry between salon, pool and private patio via a network of subterranean passages, silently and almost unnoticed.  Each of the staff is so well-trained, and follow the ‘rules’ and guidelines of the hotel to the letter.  Service is impeccable and hyper-discreet.

Above ground, opulence is the name of the game.  Rooms are strewn with suede and silk carpets, velvet brocade sofas and crystal do-dads and chandeliers from Lalique, Baccarat and Venice.  breathtakingly beautiful, and if there, you’d have to throw yourself into its opulence or you’d feel out-of-place and possibly even alienated.

When there, the Villa you’ll rent is assigned 10 staff, to serve you with everything you could possibly need.  Silver Service meal?  You got it.    One, two and three bedroom villas are available, all with roof terraces shaded by a Bedouin tent and private patio plunge pools.  In addition to lavishly decorated bedrooms finished in the most exquisite detail, each villa has a salon with an open fireplace and a dining room.  You wouldn’t need to leave the hotel … in fact, you probably won’t want to.  They have everything you need right there.  Even a large library!

I’ve worked out that from where I live, I could take a flight to Marrakech and be there in just under four hours, and I’d pay roughly £190 for flight for a two day break.  Ok ..  this seems do-able … so far.    From my research, I’ve learned that the best time to visit is between March and May when the roses are in bloom and the days fresh and sunny.  So, right now would be a great time!  Things are looking hopeful!

I’ve been on the website ... and ‘pretended’ to book just a two night stay, from Sunday (23rd April) to Tuesday (25th April) and …. THEY HAVE A VILLA AVAILABLE!!!   Ohhhh this is looking so hopeful now!  (I just have to talk Mr. Cobs around to this idea … but I could ‘sell’ it to him because our 36th Wedding Anniversary is coming up in a few short weeks ….  ok … now I’ll go and check out how much this would cost (I have to protect the moths in his wallet from shock!)…  ok… it’s telling me that it will cost 27,198.00 but that’s in Moroccan Dirham, so now I have to work out what that means in British Pounds … hang on right there while I get that sorted out.

Now see, here’s the problem.  Cobs the Bogeyman doesn’t like anything costing over the amount of loose change he has in his pockets, so talking him into a two night stay at this lovely place, with just breakfast included (the man LOVES his stomach so breakfast alone won’t keep him going), is going to send his blood pressure up the scale and probably burst the blood pressure machine  …  for this will cost £2,119.45 for just two nights, plus the travel costs.  And what’s more … that’s the cheapest quote.  If I go for the luxury package for two … it would cost:  £10,920.55 for a two night stay, again with only breakfast included in that price.  In US dollars, that equates to: $13982.67.

I don’t think that two night stay is ever going to happen!

It’s a truly magnificent place.  If you’d like to check it out, I give you the link to their website.  Have a good look around and check out all of the various different Riads.  There are five of them altogether.  The Royal Mansour Hotel

I also have a link to the programme … but I don’t think it will work for those of you outside the UK, as it’s a BBC programme … but you could give it a try and see, just in case!  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08n8xhb

I also learned this week more about Pandora’s Box than I knew before.

Pandora’s box is an origin myth – which basically means the attempt to explain the beginning of something.

People have always wanted to know why things happen in the world the way they do. Before there was ‘science’, they didn’t have much understanding of how the world works, but they still wanted to know,  just as much as we do.  Human curiosity always asks why .. and then human creativity finds ways of giving an answer.

The story of Pandora and her box comes from Ancient Greece and is very old. Because of this, there are several versions of the myth.

Pandoras Box

Pandora trying to close the lid on the box that she had opened out of curiosity. On the left are the evils of the world who are taunting her as they escape. The engraving is based on a painting by F. S. Church

In Greek mythology, Pandora (meaning ‘all-giving’) was the first woman on earth.  Before humans there were the immortals (the Gods and Titans). The brothers, Prometheus and Epimetheus were Titans (Giant people) who had fought on the Gods’ side in a war. Some say they were cousins of Zeus, King of the Gods; he asked Prometheus to create man out of clay and water (in many versions Hephaestus helps in this).  Epimetheus had to create the animals and give them their gifts of courage, swiftness etc.  He gave out all the gifts and had none left for Man.  So Prometheus decides to make man stand upright, like the gods, and give them fire (which Zeus did not want them to have – some say he had removed it as a punishment).  So Prometheus stole fire – some say from Zeus’ lightning, others from the sun and yet others from Hephaestus’ forge.

In classical Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on Earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create her.  So he did, using water and earth.  The gods endowed her with many gifts: Athena clothed her,  Aphrodite gave her beauty,  Apollo gave her musical ability, and Hermes gave her speech.

According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus.  Pandora opens the box containing death and many other evils,  which were then released into the world.  She hastens to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – Elpis  (translated as ‘Hope’,  though it could also mean ‘Expectation’).

In the original Greek stories it was a jar and did not become a box until the Sixteenth century AD.

A scholar called Erasmus, who lived in Rotterdam in Holland, translated a story of Pandora from Hesiod’s work. Hesiod was a Greek poet who lived about 700BC. Erasmus was translating the Greek into Latin (which scholars did all their writing in, in those days) and translated the Greek word ‘pithos’ meaning jar into the Latin word ‘pyxis’ meaning box. And a box it has stayed to this day!

Waterhouse's, Pandora, 1896)

Pandora, 1896, by John William Waterhouse

The myth arose as a way of explaining why dreadful things happened, such as people getting sick and dying.

As in many origin myths,  man had lived in a world without worry – until this jar/box was opened, which contained ills for mankind.  Zeus knew that Pandora’s curiosity would mean that she could not stop herself from opening it, especially when he had told her that she must not do so!

You can read more herehttps://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/pandoras-box-myth/

I also learned this week:  that the iconic ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ posters were never used in wartime.

And ….  That Gorillas can be put on the pill.  (But why would they want to be?)

That the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary is ‘tattarrattat’.  James Joyce used it in Ulysses: ‘I knew his tattarrattat at the door.’

The second man to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, Bobby Leach, survived the fall but later died as a result of slipping on a piece, of orange peel.  (forgive me … but I did have a little chuckle at the irony . . .  until I gave myself a stern talking to.)

I also learned ….  that at the end of August this year, it will be 20 years since the death of Princess Diana.  This shocked the heck out of me, for it really doesn’t seem like 20 years ago.

So … has your brain exploded with all this new information?  I certainly hope not.  The only reason mine is still going is because I learnt all this over a period of 7 days … where-as you are learning it over a coffee, and that’s a lot of new information to deal with all at once.

Well  … you’re here not only for the edumacation … I know you’re also here for a handful of jokes … so pin back your lugholes … we’re going in!!

The Jokes!

How do you throw a party in outer space?  . . . . You planet

Why is the letters  ‘P’  a pirates’ favourite letter of the alphabet?  . . . .  Because without it they are irate.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark street.  One of them is assaulted.

What did the bra say to the hat? . . .   You go on ahead. I’ll give these two a lift.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican magician who told the audience he was going to disappear on the count of three?  . . .  A: He said, “Uno…dos…” then vanished without a tres.

Q: You know why you shouldn’t go to the bathroom next to a Pokemon? . . .  A: Because he might Pikachu.

Q: If you’re American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom?  . . .  A: European.

and finally …  a little helping of Grandad jokes, for you to share with your Grandad, or, if you’re a Grandad yourself … to make you smile.  (or… if you’re a Grandma – pass them on!)…

Grandad is always complaining about how much things cost.  “£3.50 for a cup of tea!”,  “£1.50 for two custard cream biscuits!” ….  so I told him:  “Look Grandad, you just popped round.  I didn’t invite you!”

(give that one chance to sink in before you move on). lol

Grandad was remembering the days when “everyone could leave their back doors open …  which is probably why his submarine sank.

Grandad died, and we didn’t get chance to say goodbye Which was all the more poignant because he drowned in a bowl of Cheerios.

Tell your friends!  I’m here all week.  😀  [drums heard in the distance]  badabum!!

All that’s left for me to do now is wish you a fabulous Friday, and a truly wonderful weekend.

May the weather be mild and may each hour of each day bring you something to be thankful for.

Have a blessed day my friends.  Be good to each other.

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Things I’ve learned this week.

Hello, and HAPPY FRIDAY!  Today isn’t just the 14th of April, here in the UK.  Today is also Good Friday.

For those who might not know:  Good Friday is a Christian holiday to commemorate, or remember and give great respect to,  the event which we know as the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and his death at Calvary,  which is told in the Christian bible.

I hope your week has been a good one, and that if any gremlins got into any of your days, you were able to scoot around them and play them at their own gremlin games.

My week has been ….  interesting.  Let me explain.

I learned YET AGAIN this week that the minute I go out and buy new nail polish …. I break a nail.  However this week, I bought THREE new nail polishes.  I wonderful deep wine colour, a fabulous nude colour and a lovely nut colour.  Three ….  now this alone SHOULD have told me what was about to happen…  but I just didn’t listen to what the universe was trying to tell me.

Well …  my hands, fingers and more importantly my nails, were all plotting against me and the day after I bought said nail varnishes … I broke not one but two fingernails. The next day I broke another fingernail and a thumb nail.  After that … the whole of my ‘nail world’  took a massive trip south, and I broke every single nailI now look like I have never had nice hands and wouldn’t know them if they poked me!   Hmpftttt!

I learned about these things this week too …

Coyotes in the United States have learnt how traffic lights work so that they can cross the road safely.  Yes.  Seriously!  (I know!  It made me smile from ear to ear too!) lol.

Franz Liszt was the first musician to have women’s underwear thrown at him.

Elvis (and this one blew me away...)…  was born with blonde hair.  His hair began to darken in his teens and by the age of 22, his hair colour was dark chestnut.

Echidna

An Echidna.  (photograph credit Australia Zoo)

A baby echidna is called a ‘puggle’.  (Isn’t that just one of the nicest words to say?  Try it;  “Puggle”.  It has a kind of in-built giggle).

Puggle

…  and this …  is a Puggle.  (photo credit:  Australia Zoo).

And on moving on from ‘cute’, and turning to …. well,  this:

I learned that in 2013, in Turkey, thieves stole an entire 22 tonne,  82 foot metal bridge overnight.   Yes, no joking!  It was the village’s main bridge over a local creek.

According to the Turkish publicationToday’s Zaman’, the dumbfounded villagers, who needed the bridge to reach their orchards, alerted police about the theft.  Police suspected that thieves dismantled the 82-ft.-long span to sell it as scrap metal — probably for about $12,000 at that time.

Aww … and this tickled me:

The very first armoured presidential car was a Cadillac that had previously belonged to  . . . .   –  wait for it  –  . . .   Al Capone.  (Al Capone – Used Furniture Dealer – as we’ve previously discussed!).

al-capone

If you are of a sensitive nature and don’t like any descriptive discussion regarding the mating of animals,  PLEASE skip the next fact:

We talked, a couple of weeks ago, about Ladybirds mating.  Now I’m going to edumacate you regarding bees…

Male bees – ‘drones’  – are happy to leave the business of the hive to the female workers,  leaving them free to pursue their sole vocation:  mating with the queen. Most of them are frustrated in this ambition, and those that make it die in the act.  After the lucky drone has caught the queen and mounted her,  he explodes with an audible pop as he ejaculates.  He then falls off the Queen Bee, usually leaving a portion of his phallus behind him.

And a little more Bee information which I’ve learned this week  (this time it’s not about s.e.x.):

Some bees literally shake pollen out of flowers by humming very loudly at them. Rapid muscle contractions produce forces of up to 30G – about three times the force of a fighter jet making a tight turn  – and the vibrations dislodge pollen grains from a flower’s anthers, in a process called ‘buzz pollination‘ or ‘sonication‘.  Honeybees don’t do it, but bumblebees and many others do;  various economically important plants, including kiwi fruits, blueberries and cranberries, are pollinated in this way.

Fascinating, eh?

More throw away little bits of interesting things I learned this week …

The chairman of a company is four times more likely to be a psychopath than the doorman.

China gets a new skyscraper every five days.

In 1999, more than 3,000 people were hospitalised after . . .  tripping over a laundry basket!  (I kid ye not!)

And finally, on our voyage of fascinating facts …  just to spoil your Easter of chocolate eating . . .

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.  A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

And now … the reason you’re really here ….

THE JOKES!

What did one eye say to the other eye?  Between the two of us, something smells.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?   Don’t worry. He’s completely recovered.

What did the Ocean say to the boat?  Nothing, it just waves

What happens when you throw a white hat into the red sea?  . . . . .  It gets wet

What did the banana say to the hippo? . . . . Nothing, Bananas don’t talk

How do you light up a Tennis Stadium? . . . . With a good match.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? . . . It just let out a little wine.

and finally

here’s one for my favourite Chicken …. (Chicken Grandma)

What do you call a chicken at the north pole?  . . .  Lost

😀

Well that’s it …. well no, actually … that’s almost it.  I have a letter I need to post:

Dear Toys R Us I’ve had to visit my nearest store three times during the past week, and not once has any member of your staff smiled, acknowledged me by looking me in the eye when making an enquiry, or even looked at me when I made a purchase.  You need to do some staff retraining and possibly show your staff that they’re important to you so that they know that WE are important to you too.  I shall be writing more about this directly to you,  Trust Me.  ~  A furrowed brow customer, Cobs.

Ok … I’ve run to the post office and posted that, so all that’s left to do is to say a BIG THANK YOU to you for coming and having a coffee with me.  I so love seeing you here, all crowded around the kitchen table, laughing, chatting and just having a bit of fun.  Such a great feeling.

I wish you a lovely Friday, followed by a truly fantabulous weekend.  Do something different this weekend.  Go somewhere you haven’t been before.  Read a book you’ve been meaning to read.  Make a phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.  Tell someone how much you enjoy their company,  or appreciate them for _____   ….  well whatever it is you appreciate them for.

Make yourself happy, and make someone else happy.  It’s important.

Sending big Easter Squidges, from me here in my corner, to you there in yours.

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Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Hello, good morning and …. HAPPY FRIDAY!

I don’t know about you, but Fridays give me this funny little feeling somewhere between my tummy button and my … erm … my uhm  …  chest. (phew – that was touch and go there for a minute).  It’s an odd sort of feeling,  like my body is having a quiet giggle to itself.  A cross between a giggle and a tickle – but right inside me.  In the centre of my body.  Funniest little feeling.  Nice one though.

Aww … hush up Cobs.  Get on with the post already!

Right .. you’re here to read about how I’ve had my edumacation improved this week, so without further ado, I shall plunge straight in and get on with it.

This week I learned . . . that Liechtenstein is a tiny, doubly landlocked country tucked away between Switzerland and Austria.  It owes much of its wealth to its traditional status as a tax haven, though it has in recent years taken steps to shake off its image as a tax haven and to reposition itself as a legitimate financial centre.

However …  do you know that Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in  _______.   If you don’t know the answer to that …. have a guess.  Think about the country.  Think about where it is.  Imagine what you think that Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in.  Just take a wild guess.

Vaduz Castle, overlooking the capital, is home to the Prince of Liechtenstein

Let’s see if you guessed correctly shall we?  In actual fact, Liechtenstein is the Worlds Leading Manufacturer in  —>left click on your mouse and hold the click as you drag your cursor over this blank spot here —>FALSE TEETH<—  😀   If you’re anything like me you’ll have guessed that it would be some sort of speciality Beer.  But no…  such a beautiful place with such romantic feel about it – who could have guessed that fact?  lol

If you’d like to learn a little more about this enchanting place you can read more here:  The Spectator – Liechtenstein  the link will open up in another page for you.  If when the page loads, it asks you to ‘join up’ to their site, either close that smaller window or simply click back, then click forward and the Spectators efforts to get you to sign up will disappear so that you can read.

Now thenwhat else have I learned this week?….  ohhhhh… I know…

I learned this week that when you have a plan,  the world laughs at you and makes other plans just to see how you handle the new stuff which life has thrown at you.

My craft room is all set up in our converted garage.  The whole thing was already converted when we bought the cottage – so it seemed to be fate that brought us to it.

It took about a year before we were able to set up the room properly so that I could craft in it.  (we had to do renovations to the cottage after we bought it).  And I love it in there.  However … I did have to make a teensy bit of room for our washing machine.  But it’s located at the other end of the room, away from where I sit, so I didn’t bother too much about it.  BUT … this week it suddenly began making the most dreadful noise when it started to spin.  BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!  It got louder too.

So scared was I that I picked up the phone and called Mr.Cobs (he was in the cottage – our phones can call each other – so my phone in the garage can, at the press of a button, call the phone in the house.  It works!.  When Himself answered the phone I had to shout to hear myself talk….  “come to the craft room QUICK!”,   I was scared silly that the Washing Machine was going to suddenly blow up!

Well, shortening the tale … the Washing Machine has gone to Washing Machine Heaven.  So .. a new machine was found, delivery arranged, payment was made AT GREAT EXPENSE I might add!,  (I hope this new machine makes me my coffee, I’m telling you!).  Then Mr.Cobs said he’d have to get the old machine out, ready for the men to make delivery of new machine, and take old machine away with them.  And that’s where the trouble started.

It sounded like such a simple thing – remove old washing machine, make space for new one.  Oh. My. Goodmiss!  I hadn’t quite realised that there was a small(ish) Ikea unit which although not ‘in front’ of our old machine … it was enough in front, to stop the machine moving fully out of its position.  So that unit had to be moved.  Which meant that a whole load of stuff on the unit had to move, and then all the stuff which was on top of the unit had to be moved … and well, shortening the tale even further … a mess the size of a volcano happened.  I haven’t been able to work at my desk(s) all week.  I decided that since we’d got that unit out, then perhaps the best thing would be to re-site it and attach it to the sewing desk, so that the unit wouldn’t be in the way.

I won’t bore you with the jiggling which happened after that, but suffice to say … I could, at 7.30pm on Thursday night (yesterday) finally see a bit of my desk again.    So from all this I learned …  That I rather envied my Grandmother and how she told me about she used to do the washing for her growing family …. in a ‘dolly tub’ in the back garden.  BRING BACK THE DOLLY TUB!  It’s cheaper, and it doesn’t break down!

Credit: East Cleveland Image Archive

I also learned this week:  in quick, ‘bullet’ form ….

That . . .  80% of food has sugar added to it.

That . . .  Wasps must wear ‘uniforms’ by smearing themselves with wax from their nest, and then on their return, fellow wasps recognise they are from the same colony and accept them in.

That . . .  Mark Twain invented and patented the bra-strap clasp.  I kid ye not.  This really is true.

That . . .   Abulia is the word for the inability to make decisions.

A musophobist is a person who distrusts poetry.  As someone who will make up a bit of silly poetry at the drop of a hat – this was a real upset to me!

Depp means ‘twit’ in German.  This kind of upset me for a moment, because I used to have rather a soft spot for Johnny Depp …  but then I outgrew him so no longer upset.  🙂

The first commercial chewing gum appeared in 1871, after Thomas Adams had failed to make car tyres from the same ingredients.  Yes … that stopped me in my tracks too when I learned that.

The Pantone colour chart has 104 shades of grey.  So that means  *that fellow*  in  *that ’50 shades’ book*  was well below par.  (snigger I’m so glad that I didn’t read it.

and finally . . .

Male Ladybirds can spend up to four hours mating with a dead female before realising something is wrong.  Ok… I’m going to stand up and admit that I actually laughed.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry to the Men Ladybirds.  I don’t think I meant to find that funny … but … well … it just kinda snuck up on me and before I knew it I was giggling like a schoolgirl.  (And each time I think of it, I start giggling all over again).  I don’t know why it tickles the heck out of me …  well, maybe I do…  but I’m not going to say.  Let’s just say that I apologise.  (and yes…. I’m giggling right now too).

I’ve learned rather a lot this week.  How I’ve managed to remember all of it so that I can share it with you, is way out of my understanding.  But I’m so glad that I did.  (Especially so the Lady(man)bird one.  LOLOL.  [now stop it Cobs.  Behave yourself!  tsk tsk.]

Well there’s only enough time for some jokes now, so I’d better get on with it….  ready?  OK.. let’s go!

Why did the bicycle fall over?  . . . Because it was two tired!

Why did the prune go out with the raisin?  . . .  They couldn’t find dates!

Did you hear about the corduroy pillow?  . . .   It made the headlines.

Why do they call them light bulbs?  …  Because they don’t weigh very much.

What’s red and looks like a bucket? . . .  A red bucket.

What’s blue and smells like red paint?  . . .  Blue paint

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?  . . . A carrot

Why does Beethoven hate chickens? . . .  Because all they ask for is Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach.

and finally . . .

What is Beethoven up to now? . . . Decomposing.

I did say that we could talk more about Time Travelling this week … but I ran out of …..  lol.

Truth is, I think I’ve talked more than enough, so I’m going to shut up and give your brain a rest.

Also ….  My apologies to all the crafters out there, because I haven’t shared anything crafty with you this week.  Having had my craft room turned upside down hasn’t helped with any crafty endeavours  … but …  I’m filled with ideas for what I want to do, so I’ll try to be back next week with something lovely to look at.

I have a busy weekend coming ….  I’m hosting Little Cobs Birthday Party in our cottage.  I’ve been busy ordering, buying, finding and all manner of things.  So I’m really looking forward to his party on Saturday (tomorrow).  All I have to remember to do before then is find half an hour to wrap his gifts, instead of realising ten minutes before the party starts, that I haven’t wrapped them!  eeeek! 

So … what about you?  Do you have anything planned for this weekend?  Do share.  I’d love to hear about what you’re up to in your corner of the world.

Whatever you’re doing, may you find happiness and joy.  May the weather be what you’d like it to be, and may love enter your life softly, gently, and leave footprints on your heart.  Be good to each other, and . . . may your God go with you.

Brightly woven, cobwebby squidges, to you in your corner, from me in mine  ~

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What I’ve Learned This Week.

Hello you!  Aw I’m so thrilled to see you here, thank you so much for coming.  I could do with a cheery friend with a smiling face.  Fancy a coffee?  Tea?  You sit down at the table and I’ll pour us a drink.  Help yourself to biscuits!

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So … you’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week aren’t you?  Well… I’d better make a start then!

This week I seem to have spent ages crying over one thing or another.  Things I’ve seen on the news.  A programme about a footballer whose wife had passed on (from Cancer), leaving him and three children.  (wept several times during that programme).  I cried hot tears for the Liberian children in West Africa, and all of the children living in poverty around the world, when I watched one of our annual big fund-raisers – Comic Relief – on TV.  (I donated.  Like I wouldn’t?).   Oh … and other things had me in tears … some of them piffling little things and then others which weren’t in the least bit piffling,  but I’m not going to list and share them because if I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster, I don’t want to put you on one as well!  eek!

I’ve learnt that just as I sit down to visit ‘my reader’  (a wonderful device on WordPress,  where all the blogs a person follows, with all the latest blog posts, are all listed out for them on one continuous page!) …  and have a look at all the blogs I follow and leave comments or likes etc….  it’s right at that VERY moment that the phone rings; or the door knocks; or it’s time for lunch/dinner/something/or other.  And I think I’m now so far behind on all the fabulous people’s blogs I follow, that I’ll never catch up ever again!  But … I’m trying.  I really am.  So bear with me if I haven’t been to your blog yet…  I’ll be getting there very soon.

I’ve learned this week ….  rather a lot about Octopuses.  (… not Octopi.  Octopuses is the preferred plural).

People of the world who watch the news (and especially those who love football)  for sure will remember that eight-tentacled seer – Paul the Octopus – who was used to predict football scores during the World Cup in 2010.  Yes?  Well for those who don’t know or would like a reminder … here’s a very short video of Paul, choosing the final ‘winner’ (in his opinion) …

During the 2010 World Cup, the cephalopod pundit, living in a German  Sea-life centre was SO accurate in his forecasting that he became an international headline.  He got nine out of ten matches in that tournament SPOT ON!  When it came to predicting a football winner, this little chap was amazing.

Now before I go any further …  I’m not a football fan.  Not even a teeny bit.  In fact I dislike it so much that I can’t be in the same room as a television which is broadcasting it.  The noise, the roar of the crowd, the wails and ‘woo hoos’,  I can’t bear it.  (Now you see why I have a craft room   🙂   lol).

Anyhoo …back to Paul..  There were, of course, people who said when Paul fished a tasty mussel out of a box which was ‘wearing’ the flag of one of the football teams who were in a forthcoming match, it was just coincidence that he picked the winner.

However they couldn’t have been more wrong.  An Australian philosopher, Peter Godfrey-Smith had detailed his own opinion of the Octopus, and upon reading it, it soon becomes clear that Paul was no ‘one-off’.   Godfrey-Smith told of one captive octopus that lived in a laboratory tank.  He said that they are very particular about their diet.  They like crab, eased fresh from the shell.

In this experiment, a researcher had been feeding captives chunks of frozen squid.  One day, as she made her way down the row of tanks, the scientist’s noticed one of the Octopuses in the tanks.

“It had not eaten its squid, but was holding it up conspicuously,” Godfrey-Smith writes.  “As she stood there, the octopus made its way slowly across the tank to the outflow pipe, watching her all the way.  Then, still watching her, it dumped the bit of squid down the drain”.

She wasn’t impressed with the food in that restaurant, that’s for sure!

Getty Images Credit

credit:  Getty Images

An octopus has no bones,  its bone-free body can be ‘re-made’ to fit the space available, and its skin –  (and this might surprise you)can see!  An octopus’ skin is rippling with little receptors that react to light and allow it to navigate its way around the depths of the ocean, changing colour as it goes.

Sadly, these fascinating, cunning, clever creatures don’t live much past the age of two.  And this is why no one ever saw Paul back on the footballers seats, prophesising who was going to win the next match.  Paul passed away shortly after the end of the football tournament in 2010 which made him famous world-wide.  A fabulous one season wonder.

More about Professor Godfrey Smith and Octopuses, along with a photograph of the man himself, can be found on the following link,  which will open in another window for you:-   Harvard Gazette – Thinking like an octopus

So .. what else did I learn? . . .

Ohhh… I learned this, about the Prime Minister’s Residence, at number 10 Downing Street,  here in the United Kingdom…

It is only since Arthur Balfour became Prime Minister in 1902 that the Prime Minister has been expected to live at No. 10.  Only one former Prime Minister has ever died there:  Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, who resigned as Prime Minister on the 3rd April 1908 but was too ill to move and died 19 days later.  His last words were: ‘This is not the end of me.’

10 Downing Street is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in Britain. The front door cannot be opened from the outside because it has no handle, and no one can enter the building without passing through an airport-style scanner and a set of security gates manned by armed guards.  However, in the first five years after Tony Blair became Prime Minister,  37 computers,  four mobile phones,  two cameras,  a mini-disc player,  a video recorder,  four printers,  two projectors  and a  bicycle  were stolen from the building.  (Not sure what that says about who  …  Tony Blair or his staff.  [gulp])  lol

Ohh, and you’ll never guess what I learned about…. Potatoes!

Genetic testing has proved a single origin for potatoes,  – in the area of southern Peru and extreme northwestern Bolivia where they were domesticated between 7,000 and 10,000 years ago.

Potatoes were taken outside the Andes region about four centuries ago and now they are the world’s fourth-largest food crop, after maize, wheat and rice

Following centuries of selective breeding there are now about 5,000 different varieties of potatoes.

Now let’s see…  there was something else I know I learned, and really wanted to share with you … what the divil was it? .. OH …  TIME TRAVEL!  Now pay attention you lot at the back.  This is good stuff!

According to General Relativity, everything in the Universe is played out on a stage that has three dimensions of space and one of time.  This space-time is warped by the mass and energy of the Universe’s contents.  Theoretically a large enough concentration of mass or energy can distort time so much that it folds back on itself like a crumpled sheet. 

These folds were described by Kurt Gödel in 1949 and are known as ‘closed time-like curves’.  They ought, at least in theory, to allow us to revisit past moments in history by using an idea developed in 1988 by Kip Thorne and colleagues at the California Institute of Technology, who showed that tunnels through space-time (wormholes), would allow time travel by taking a shortcut from one fold to the next.

There are still plenty of obstacles to time-travelling through wormholes. Not least is the fact that the only wormholes we can possibly make with present-day technology are tiny: only subatomic particles would be small enough to travel through them. 

I learned more about Time Travel …. but I’ll save it until next week.  I don’t want to explode your brain!  (ohhh the very thought!).

So …  this is how much more educationamalised I am this week.  You know … I’m seriously beginning to wonder where I’m storing all this stuff, and how much of the other stuff is being shifted out.  What if something really important is being thrown over-board, like …  my address, or my name?  How will I know what to tell the Police if I get lost?  “What’s your name?”  I dunno!  “Where do you live?”  Don’t know that either …. but I can tell you something about potatoes which might thrill you!   Don’t laugh … it could happen!

But anyhoo …  we have now come to that time where you sit back,  get comfortable … and I slay you with some jokes.  Well … perhaps not slay you exactly …  perhaps ‘tickle your chuckle muscle’.  …  Are you ready??  Ok, lets go!

The Jokes

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn’t play any 70’s music…
at first I was afraid,  I was petrified!

My doctor thinks I’m taking hallucinogenic drugs… how do I know?  … let’s just say a little bird told me.

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles…  which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”

My husband and I decided we don’t want children;  . . .  so if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? . . .   A barberque!

What do you call a train loaded with toffee?  . . .   A chew chew train.

What’s round and bad tempered?  . . .  A vicious circle.

and finally . . .

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft  . . .    they didn’t respond to my telegram.  😀

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee moment with me.

I hope you have a beautiful Friday, and that tomorrow doesn’t catch you by surprise  …..  (in case you hadn’t noticed … tomorrow is April Fools Day!).  May you find some more smiles to add to those you’ve just found, and I hope both today, and your whole weekend, are truly blessed.

May the winds be soft, the rain be somewhere else, and may your heart and mind work together as one.

Be good to each other and  . . .  may your God go with you.

Squidges ~

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Happy Mothers Day!

I couldn’t post this until today because I had to make sure that the surprise wasn’t spoiled.  I don’t think anyone would have shown my gorgeous Mother in Law a picture of her card,   but … well I felt it would have been kind of a bad luck thing to have posted it before today.

Cards which I’d embellished to within an inch of their lives and worked for hours on over a period of days, had gone missing in the post before now, so I decided that I would make a pretty, ladylike card this time, but I’d make it so that it slipped into a regular envelope, as I thought that maybe I would be in with a chance of it getting there.  And …  we had a text message from my lovely sister-in-law (Mr.Cobs sister)  letting us know that the card had arrived.  WHOO HOO!

Taking photo’s of this card were nigh on impossible.  I made it so that it had a ‘see through’ front, made from Acetate.  So I tried various things in the hope of getting a decent photo which would show that see through bit.  I failed miserably. 

What you have here are a selection of photos which are pretty rubbish but they’re the best I had out of about 20 photos.

To make the card:  I removed a section from the front of a scored and folded 6×6 and replaced it with the acetate.  I then fussy cut into some papers for the top and bottom of the card front, and added some more fussy cut roses and leaves for the ‘spine’ edge.  Added a sentiment to the front, and then turned my attention to the inside. 

The inside is actually a large die cut central section, which you can take out and use on the card by itself, but I so liked it as it was that I fixed it in place using strips of double-sided tape, and then trimmed it to size and adhered it to the inside.

I was so happy with this card when it was finished as it looked so pretty and I knew my much-loved mother-in-law would like it as it was a little bit different – having the see through front.

As a gift to make her smile and say Thank You for being such a wonderful Mother, we’ve sent her an arrangement of pretty cottagey type flowers, all yellows and lemons and greens, which we arranged to be delivered today, Sunday 26th March ~  which is Mothering Sunday, here in the United Kingdom.   The colours of the floral arrangement were so cheerful and bright that they made me smile, so I knew they’d make her smile too.

Although I know that Mothering Sunday happens on different days in different parts of the world, it’s Mothers Day here, so to all of the Mothers around the world, I wish you a very happy, warm and loved up Sunday.

To those who aren’t Mothers, through choice or circumstance, I wish you too a happy, warm and much loved up day.

And… just because it’s Mothers day …  we have:  Jokes!

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

~   ❤   ~

Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks”   . . .  
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?  . . . 
Son:  “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
~   ❤   ~
Q: Why is a computer so smart?
A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.

~   ❤   ~
Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!

~   ❤   ~
Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.
~   ❤   ~
All mothers have intuition.
Great mothers have radar.
~   ❤   ~
And finally … 
here’s a card idea that I know would have made my mom laugh like a drain … so … this one is both for my Mom,
and for your amusement.  😀

Have a truly lovely Sunday, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.  Stay safe,  play nicely,  and …  be good to each other.

What I’ve Learned This Week.

Morning all.  Happy Friday!  And …  a Very Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all.  🙂

St. Patrick has a great history, and makes a good read.  So if you’re in the mood for reading, then I supply a link here —>  A history of St. Patrick the patron saint of Ireland.  <— which will open in another window and sit waiting patiently for you, until you’ve finished having a read here.  🙂   The website is owned and written by an Irish lady who’s family history also makes a great read.  So the story (and all the pages on the site) all come direct from Ireland without any twists which shouldn’t be there.

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Anyhoo ….

The world continues my educationalamalisation,  and I’m now wondering if that’s why I keep forgetting things.  Names of people.  Road names.  Appointments.  What I went to the fridge for?  What it was I wanted from the shop, before I’ve even got my shoes on to leave the house!  How to get to places.  (don’t suggest  SatNavs, because I can’t use the darn thing.  ‘She’ really politely tells me what to do next, and I can’t remember what it was she just said!   Useless.  I’m totally useless.  Of no use to man nor beast.

But I’ve come up with a theory that the reason I’m forgetting things is because I’m learning allll the time, and all the new stuff is pushing some of the other stuff over the edges of my brain!  Where they’re going from that point is anyones guess,  I do have a theory at that too … but I’m not about to discuss it in polite company.  😉

What were we talking about again?  Ohh yes! … educationalamalisation …  I shall continue:

I learned this week ….

That Trees sleep at night.  (cor!  I heard you gasp from here!).  Well, when you think about it,  wouldn’t you need a bit of a snooze after a long a long day of photosynthesizing?

Here, straight from the horse’s mouth (or scientists mouth in this case) is the explanation ….

It depends on how you define “sleep,” but trees do relax their branches at night, which might be a sign of snoozing,  the scientists said.

In the only reported study to look at tree ‘siestas’:  researchers set up lasers that measured the movements of two silver birch trees at night.  One tree was in Finland and the other in Austria, and both were monitored from dusk until morning on a dry, windless night in September.  This was close to the solar equinox, when daylight and nighttime are about equal.

The laser scanners used infrared light to illuminate different parts of the tree,  each for fractions of a second. This provided enough detail to map each tree within minutes, the researchers said.

The silver birches’ branches and leaves sagged at night; they reached their lowest position a few hours before sunrise, and then perked up again during the wee hours of the morning, the researchers found.

“Our results show that the whole tree droops during night, which can be seen as position change in leaves and branches,” study lead author Eetu Puttonen, a researcher at the Finnish Geospatial Research Institute, said in a statement. “The changes are not too large, only up to 10 centimeters [4 inches] for trees with a height of about 5 meters [16 feet].”

It’s unclear if the sun “woke up” the trees or if they relied on their own internal circadian rhythm, the researchers said. But “the fact that some branches started returning to their daytime position already before sunrise would suggest this [internal circadian clock] hypothesis [is right],”.

The finding isn’t too surprising.  Most living organisms have day and night circadian rhythms, and any gardener will notice that some plants open their flowers in the morning and that some trees close their leaves at night.  The famed botanist Carl Linnaeus (1707-1778) found that flowers confined to a dark cellar still opened and closed, and naturalist Charles Darwin (1809-1882) noted that the nocturnal movement of leaves and stalks on plants looked like the plants went to sleep.

So … what else did I learn this week?

Well … from watching a TV programme on TV, I learned this mind-blowing (no not really.   Not in the least bit mind-blowing, but it is a bit of fun)  information which should change the world (no it seriously won’t) …  I learned:  That ‘Google’ reports that searches for  ‘How to put on a condom’  peak at 10.28pm.  Saying nothing.  Nope.  Not going to get into that one.  I’m only here to report on my ‘learnings’.  🙂

I also learned:  There is no word for  time  in any Aboriginal language.  Maybe I should move there?  Time wouldn’t exist, and therefore I wouldn’t get any older!  Sounds fine to me … oh …. hang on ….  if I don’t get any older then I’ll miss out on Birthdays and birthday presents ….  hmmm  …  as Fagin said:  I think I’d better think it out again!

I learned that  ‘Emoji’ –  these things:  🙂  😦  :/  😀  –  is the fastest growing language in historySee,  … now  this made me think that we’re all going backwards.    Cavemen and women used a similar sort of thing by drawing on cave walls in order to tell the story of their day.  “I saw a cow.  I threw a stick at the cow.” – only they drew pictures to tell that story.   …  maybe that’s where we’re heading?

And I also learned that apparently….  The name Donald means  ‘ruler of the world’.  His mother,  Mrs. Duck, must be SO proud.  (Mr. Disney will be chuffed to know that too!).

Finally ….  I learned that …  (and this made me feel a little bit sad, and think of Wall-E ...the last robot left on Earth . . .) …  On each anniversary of its landing on Mars, the Curiosity Rover hums  ‘Happy Birthday’  to itself.  😦  (imagine an ‘Emoji’ here of a crying face)

Crafters of the World – we need to unite and craft poor little Curiosity some birthday cards.  (We’ve got plenty of time, his birthday isn’t until August the 5th)

Shall we now move on to the part you’re waiting for?  Do you have your coffee ready?  Biscuits and cookies?  Ok … let’s go!

These are the JOKES folks!

I just ate a frozen apple.  . . .  Hardcore.

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.   …  I thought it was a nice jester.

I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. . . . When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  . . .  Then it dawned on me.

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. . . .  She seemed surprised.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory.  . . .  I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

So I applied for a job making sandwiches, . . . but the  roll  had been filled.

Then I got a job working in an origami shop, . . .  but it folded.

What do you get hanging off banana trees?  . . .  Sore arms.

and finally . . .

I’ve just been diagnosed as colour blind. . . . It came right out of the purple!

~  ❤  ~

So do you feel more intelligent?  Has reading all this new stuff, pushed some of your old stuff out of your brain,  and now it’s free-falling at rapid speed,  throughout your body, bouncing off your liver, kidneys and all those other squishy things inside you?  If so … then thank heavens for that!  At least I know I’m not alone  in this weirdness.  (lol)

Have a truly fabulous Friday, and perfect St. Patrick’s Day.  May your weekend bring love, smiles, joy, and a clear conscience.

Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.

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What I Learned This Week

HAPPY Friday!  Don’t you just love Fridays?  They have such a happy sound about them.  Say it…  FRIDAY!   When I say it, it sounds like it’s a bottle of fizzy bubbles, which will make a BIG POP sound when it’s opened.

Y’know … I think Friday ought to be re-named – FunDay. 

[stands on footstool and takes up her trusty sword in one hand, and puts the other on her hip] …  “Let it be known by all those who hear my voice,  that from this moment on,  Friday will no longer be called Friday, but instead it will be called FunDay.  It is now proclaimed,  and will be written into history,  that on this day, of 9th of March in the year 2017,  FunDay  began!“.

There.  It’s done.  Spread the word …  from now on, the day after Thursday, but before Saturday is, from this day, to be called —> FUNDAY!

So anyhoo …  you and I know why you’re here – it’s to find out all the things I’ve learned this week.  So shall we crack on and I’ll educationamalise you in the same way I’ve been educationamalised?  Got your coffee?  Let’s go then!   …..  (this first one I apologise to the boys who probably will roll their eyes …  but,  I’m a girl.  What can I say? [smiles and shrugs])…

I learned this week …. That I absolutely ADORE the new cosmetic brushes which the cosmetic world introduced us to,  ‘fairly’ recently(ish).  I’ve been seeing these new style cosmetic brushes – thicker, more lush and way more soft,  than I’m used to using for a time now, but they seemed like a bit of a ‘new box of tricks’ which I really didn’t need, so I didn’t fall into the trap of buying.  Besides … some of them are quite a price too!  However, I went into a store near where I live about two weeks ago and they had a special offer section of items which they had left overs of,  and, since new stock was about to come in, they’d reduced the old stock items.  Amongst everything there was one cosmetic brush.  All boxed up and looking like a cloud made out of the softest ‘hair’ known to man.  (It’s not ‘real’ hair or fur … but can’t remember what the box said it was).  I looked at it, picked it up, put it down, then .. picked it up again.  They’d reduced the thing to £2 – an absolute bargain.  I uhmed and ahhed, and told myself I was being daft.  I didn’t need a brush to apply foundation.  (I use cosmetic sponges for goodness sake!).  So I did no more  … I put it in my basket and bought it.  (sigh … a girl can’t resist a great bargain!).

I got home and put it on my dressing table.  Every now and again I would pick it up and stroke it over my hand just to feel the softness.  It took me ten days before I used it.  Oh  My  Goodness!  WHAT A SURPRISE I GOT!!  Girls … if you use foundation cream when you put on your cosmetics and don’t currently own one of these brushes, you HAVE to buy yourself a brush to apply your foundation cream.  There are no stripes, no streaks, and … it doesn’t dry out half way during application – so no dragging of your skin!  The brush gives the perfect look to your ‘finish’.  Instead of a flat, solid-looking colour, you get an ‘airbrushed’ finish.  Everything is smoother, no signs of over-applying in any area, and no finish lines around your jaw or down your neck.

Not ‘my’ brush, but a piccie of one as near to it as I could find on the interwebby. My brush has a pink handle and the brushy part is slightly fuller.

The brush I bought (I should have taken a photo of it. tsk tsk.  sorry!) is a short brush with a short handle, and a huge cloud of soft fluffy fur.  You apply a (roughly) penny sized blob of foundation to the back of your hand, and then you softly swirl your brush around and around picking up the foundation on all of the bristles, then using the same swirling motion, apply the foundation cream to your face – taking it over your eyes, around and over your nose and all over your face, up to your hairline and down your neck.  Then, take a mirror over to the window and have a really good look at your face.  You’ll be surprised at how airbrushed you look.  But … you don’t look like you have foundation cream on.  You just look a more perfect version of yourself.

I’m so thrilled with this new brush  – so much so that I thought I’d tell you about it,  just incase you might fancy a try of one of these new brushes too!

Ok… now I’ve bored the boys to pieces and they’re all snoring … (sorry boys) …

I’ve also learned this week …  That Samsung (yes, the makers of that unfortunately exploding Galaxy note 7, which people burned their fingers with  last year) do things other than phones,  computers  and TV’s.  Would you believe …  Samsung is currently making  …   the Worlds BIGGEST Container Ship … which will have a quarter of a mile carrying space.  A QUARTER OF A MILE LONG!   That’s four football fields long!  It will carry 20,150 shipping containers, – so unloading that little lot isn’t going to be a rushed process!

The Container Ship is going to cost $609 million dollars – (just in case you’re interested in buying one) – and it will be ready, they say, to move loads of freight sometime this year, 2017.   However … the huge vessel will be staying in the Pacific,  because, at 193 feet wide, it’s too big to fit through the Panama Canal.

Poor thing.  It’s not yet even had it’s christening and it’s already suffering exclusion because of its size!

But, Samsung aren’t stopping there … they’ve got a ‘transparent’  truck with TV screens on all sides too.

I can’t help but wonder how many accidents it will cause because people will be watching the TV screen of what’s happening ahead of the truck, and not notice that the truck itself has put its brakes on.   Eeeek!  :/

I also learned, via a visit to the doctor’s surgery where I picked up a bit of reading matter, a few things about Mother’s Day ….

I know that countries around the world celebrate their Mother’s Day on different days to ourd, so I might be talking ‘out of season’ for you in your corner of the world, but … Mother’s Day here in the UK, will be celebrated on the 26th of March (this month).  It always happens on the fourth Sunday of Lent, and originally it had religious traditions attached to it.

I learned, courtesy of that brochure I picked up at the doctors,   that back in the sixteenth century, it was a celebration of the ‘mother church’ and people would return to the church in which they were baptised, or where they attended as a child.  Thus families would be reunited.  This was known as going  ‘a mothering’  or Mothering Sunday.  It was commonplace for the Lent fast, which prohibited sweet, rich foods and meat, to be lifted a little and for a Simnel cake to be shared.

Years later, youngsters working as servants were given an annual day off to visit their mothers and would take gifts.  This was called ‘Mother’s Day’.

The first official Mother’s Day was organised by Ann Jarvis in 1908, in West Virginia, as a memorial to her mum.  By the 1920’s however, Ann had become disillusioned by the commercialism of the day and especially the common use of printed greet cards.  Celebrating the day became less popular.  It wasn’t until the second World War when soldiers wanted to acknowledge their distant mothers, that the day grew in popularity once more.

So … if you’re in the UK, you have no excuse for forgetting Mother’s Day this year – it’s on the 26th of March!

And finally, in your educationamalisation ….

I learned this week about a fabulous sounding App called Duolingo.    It’s an excellent language app which teaches you languages using mini-games,  and they recently added the ability to learn with a friend.  Très bien!

So I checked it out!  It’s a lovely website, very bright and exceptionally friendly looking.  You aren’t made to sit there for hours while you get frustrated because you can’t keep up with the lesson.

You can choose from many languages – Spanish, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Irish, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, oh – and English!  (I think there may be more languages, but those are the main ones I remembered).  And you can choose how much time each day you feel you can commit to learning – starting from just 5 minutes!  34 hours of Duolingo are equivalent to a half-year (semester) of university-level education.  And …  it’s totally FREE!

LINK for Duolingo is HERE—> https://www.duolingo.com/   –  it will open in another window for you.

OK… enough  learning You’re here for the jokes so let’s get our chuckle muscles ready ….  On your marks.  Get set.   GO!….

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?  —  Put it in the oven until it’s Bill Withers

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.  —  A strong currant pulled him in.

What’s pink and fluffy?   —  Pink fluff.

What’s blue and fluffy?  —  Pink fluff holding it’s breath.

I used to have a problem where I couldn’t stop naming classic American sitcoms,   but I’m over it now.   Ahh, Happy Days.

I was walking the dogs when all of a sudden they vanished into thin air.  Not sure where they went, but I’ve got some leads.

Bought a litre of Tipp-Ex yesterday.  Huge mistake.

What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college?  Bison.

Why didn’t the melons run off to get married?  Because they cantaloupe.

My friend asked me if I could please stop singing  ‘Wonderwall’.    I said maybe. 

I’ve started a business building yachts in my attic.   Sails are going through the roof.

AND finally . . .

Did you know that owls can’t breed in the rain?   It’s too wet to woo.

I hope you’ve got a grin out of one or more of those.  I love funnies.  I think I may have the best worked out chuckle muscle ever!  The rest of my body is totally rubbish, but my chuckle muscle … ah… that’s one to be proud of.  😀

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee with me.  I’ve so enjoyed your company and really appreciate you coming.

My apologies to regular readers  for being quiet this week.  I had to take my elderly cat on her final trip to the vet.  She was 22 years old and the most wonderful squeaky voiced little thing.  I loved her dearly.  It was a terrible few days and I spent them feeling miserable, shedding a few tears and missing her. The oddest thing is that I keep ‘hearing’ her.  I was in the craft room and swear I heard her just outside the door.  I heard her in the house too.  Mr. Cobs said it was one of our other cats, (we have two other cats) but it really did sound like her.

I had a play in my craft room mid week, and made a few things – but none of them were finished or at a point where I could photograph them, so I’ll share them with you next week.  Oh … and I realised today that we haven’t had a Give-Away for aaages.  So perhaps next week we could do one of those again!  (In case anyone is interested!)

May you have a truly lovely weekend.  May peace reside over your home, love find its way to your heart and a smile be ever ready to show itself upon your face.

Sending you oodles of the squishy stuff, with a squidge or two hidden in there as well.

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