I’ve learned a few life lessons this week. Not all of them useful in any major sort of way, but all of them are probably important in one form or another. Let me elaborate:
I’ve learned (yet again) that there are some adverts on the Television that make my skin crawl and infuriate me. This is the current one: (turn sound up a little so that you can enjoy it) …
That ⇑ TV advertisement drives me insane. And … it’s not just me. Mr. Cobs admitted today that he “. . . cannot abide this &*%£*)@ advert!” – as he dived across the room to grab the remote and turn on ‘mute’.
I’ve learned this week. . . that I really don’t much like my neighbours cat, Missy. She’s an antagonist of the first degree.
Alfie (aka Alf Capone) our HUGE great, black cat with a white diamond on his chest (looks like he’s wearing a tuxedo – in the style of James Bond) – is absolutely a lover, not a fighter.
Where-as Maisie Dotes,our teeny weeny, little wittle, butter wouldn’t melt, wide-eyed, elegant looking, princess tippy toes, DIVA – is an out-and-out fighter of huge proportions.
Two unknown catsvisited our garden a couple of days ago, when both Alf and Maisie were in the conservatory. Alf looked up from his feed bowl (breakfast no. 4) looked at them both, then sat down by the window, with a very soft body pose, not bothered at all that these two intruders were in our garden. He was only interested in what the entertainment was going to be.
Where-as . . . Maisie … oh…. my … goodness!!! She had been fast asleep, but had obviously heard the hiss and spit which began at a low-level. So low that we couldn’t hear it, but she could. Her head spun around like a possessed thing. She glared out of the conservatory windows and took on an indignation like no other cat could have achieved with their posturing.
She was out of that bed, and at the door within seconds, demanding that she be let out. “Ohhh ho ho ho… not on your nelly Miss Maisie. You can fuss all you like, you are absolutely not going out there!” I told her.
“But … but …. they’re in ourmy garden!!!” She said, over her shoulder, but not taking her eyes off these two shocking, alien invaders.
Then …. a third cat appeared. Ohhh My Stars!!! This was the one which got Maisie scratching and banging her paws on the glass door, demanding that it be opened because she had to kill that cat!
This cat we knew. Shewas called Missy.
Missy lives in the cottage to the back of ours.In the next road along. She’s a brazen thing and cares nothing for boundaries or correct, polite behaviour. NOR does she care that we have a dog. Her belief is that our dog is fair game and she’ll take it on if it dares to challenge her.
One of the ‘new’ intruders had obviously come across Missy before, and when she appeared on the top of her owners shed, right at the bottom of their garden, the one intruder turned slowly, and made its way carefully along the fence and away from any trouble. Missy smirked.
The other cat obviously didn’t know Missy at all, for he, the daft thing, walked along the top of the fence and towardsher.
Mr. Cobs and I were both now trying to talk to the cat and tell it to ‘RUN AWAY… RUN AWAY!!!” … but it either didn’t hear us, or it just decided that it felt he could take this stroppy individual on single-handedly.
There followed a long drawn out period of BIG hissing, spitting, and meeooaawwlgrowling, before I could take no more and walked to the conservatory door, and opened it and closed it again, fast and loudly. The intruder cat jumped down and ran off … but Missy … well she sat there and told me to “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!”.
After 5 minutes of everything being quiet, I finally opened the door and let Maisie out … thinking that Missy would have got bored by now and gone home. Nope. Wrong. Maisie jumped to the top of the fence and began a hunched over, “get ready, I’m going to box your brains out!” warning sound, and started moving REALLY fast down the fence.
… “Cobs! Cobs!!! come and get her she’s going for it!” Mr.Cobs had to rush out of the house, and grab her off the fence. Now … she didn’t take kindly to this. She didn’t want to come in.
He picked her up one-handed (she’s really very tiny, more like a kitten than a cat) – but she was having none of it. She shouted “Noooooooo” – and reached out with one paw and Velcro’d that paw to one of our big Pine trees.
Cobs Snr. tugged and tugged and couldn’t get her to let go of that tree. His left hand was around her tummy and body, so with his right hand he reached up and unhooked her claws from the tree – only for her to reach out her other paw and grab the tree with her claws on that paw. No one was going anywhere.
I glanced at Missy …. and I could actually see that cat smirking at our cats situation.
Mr.Cobs eventually won, and, despite her best efforts to make him let her go, Maisie was brought back into the house and the door was firmly shut behind her.
She was as mad as a box of frogs! She whined and moaned for England. Had it been a moaning contest, she would have won a Gold Medal.
So … although I learned that I don’t much like the neighbours cat, Missy, . . .
I also learnedthat I have more dedication to the safety of our little cat Maisie than she appears to have herself. Had there been a punch up – Maisie would have had her ears well and truly boxed by Missy, for Missy is a big, bold as brass, killer cat, with evil intent. She runs this neighbourhood with an iron paw!
Well … that’s pretty much the major lessons I’ve learned this week … oh … apart from … … why is it, when you’re having a great day and everything is going right … why does something – a letter, a phone call, someone or something …. always come along just to be the fly in the ointment? [insert grumpy face]. Yeah … I learnt that this week too.
Other than that … it’s been a truly grand week!
So … what have you learned this week? Do tell!
Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me. I love having your company. Wishing you a wonderful Friday and an even better Weekend!
Happy Friday! Yes, it’s THAT time of the week again. And, as usual, it’s come around waaay too quickly.
It’s been a ‘difficult’ week this week. I was of the impression during the Easter weekend, that I had been turned into Super Woman …. and consequently did a little more than my body is currently designed for. Me body went on strike! How very dare it! It’s partially still on strike, but I’m hoping that me pretending to be fine and groovy will kick it into action again and we’ll be rocking and rolling as per usual very soon.
Well, as well as learning that I’m not Super Woman – which was a great .. no … HUGE disappointment to me, I’ve also learned one or two other things, and I’m here to share them with you, so that you can be as educationamalised as what I is. As what I am. As what I woz? As what I’m now? As what… erm…. As what you should be?
As you will be after reading this post. (phew … that was touch and go there for a minute!) lol 😊
Ok .. let’s get going, shall we?
I learned this week,after watching a TV special, that there is rather a swish hotel in Marrakech which I’d really LOVE to visit. It’s the most beautiful, (if not the best) hotel in the whole world. It’s called: The Royal Mansour, and I know that I couldn’t do it anywhere near justice in describing it here, but boy oh boy I wish I could share the programme with you.
It was commissioned by King Mohammed VI, who often hosts his guests in its 53 private riads, which are situated in almost four hectares of fragrant Moorish gardens.
It has 53 two-storey villas which are set in beautiful, manicured gardens which have lily ponds and fountains dotted around them. Privacy is at a premium there and even staff scurry between salon, pool and private patio via a network of subterranean passages, silently and almost unnoticed. Each of the staff is so well-trained, and follow the ‘rules’ and guidelines of the hotel to the letter. Service is impeccable and hyper-discreet.
Above ground, opulence is the name of the game. Rooms are strewn with suede and silk carpets, velvet brocade sofas and crystal do-dads and chandeliers from Lalique, Baccarat and Venice. breathtakingly beautiful, and if there, you’d have to throw yourself into its opulence or you’d feel out-of-place and possibly even alienated.
When there, the Villa you’ll rent is assigned 10staff, to serve you with everything you could possibly need. Silver Service meal? You got it. One, two and three bedroom villas are available, all with roof terraces shaded by a Bedouin tent and private patio plunge pools. In addition to lavishly decorated bedrooms finished in the most exquisite detail, each villa has a salon with an open fireplace and a dining room. You wouldn’t need to leave the hotel … in fact, you probably won’t want to. They have everything you need right there. Even a large library!
I’ve worked out that from where I live, I could take a flight to Marrakech and be there in just under four hours, and I’d pay roughly £190 for flight for a two day break. Ok .. this seems do-able … so far. From my research, I’ve learned that the best time to visit is between March and May when the roses are in bloom and the days fresh and sunny. So, right now would be a great time! Things are looking hopeful!
I’ve been on the website ... and ‘pretended’ to book just a two night stay, from Sunday (23rd April) to Tuesday (25th April) and …. THEY HAVE A VILLA AVAILABLE!!! Ohhhh this is looking so hopeful now! (I just have to talk Mr. Cobs around to this idea … but I could ‘sell’ it to him because our 36th Wedding Anniversary is coming up in a few short weeks …. ok … now I’ll go and check out how much this would cost (I have to protect the moths in his wallet from shock!)… ok… it’s telling me that it will cost 27,198.00 but that’s in Moroccan Dirham, so now I have to work out what that means in British Pounds … hang on right there while I get that sorted out.
Now see, here’s the problem. Cobs the Bogeyman doesn’t like anything costing over the amount of loose change he has in his pockets, so talking him into a two night stay at this lovely place, with just breakfast included (the man LOVES his stomach so breakfast alone won’t keep him going), is going to send his blood pressure up the scale and probably burst the blood pressure machine … for this will cost £2,119.45for just two nights, plus the travel costs. And what’s more … that’s the cheapest quote. If I go for the luxury package for two … it would cost: £10,920.55 for a two night stay, again with only breakfast included in that price. In US dollars, that equates to: $13982.67.
I don’t think that two night stay is ever going to happen!
It’s a truly magnificent place. If you’d like to check it out, I give you the link to their website. Have a good look around and check out all of the various different Riads. There are five of them altogether. The Royal Mansour Hotel
I also have a link to the programme … but I don’t think it will work for those of you outside the UK, as it’s a BBC programme … but you could give it a try and see, just in case! http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08n8xhb
I also learned this week more about Pandora’s Box than I knew before.
Pandora’s box is an origin myth– which basically means the attempt to explain the beginning of something.
People have always wanted to know why things happen in the world the way they do. Before there was ‘science’, they didn’t have much understanding of how the world works, but they still wanted to know, just as much as we do. Human curiosity always asks why .. and then human creativity finds ways of giving an answer.
The story of Pandora and her box comes from Ancient Greece and is very old. Because of this, there are several versions of the myth.
In Greek mythology, Pandora (meaning ‘all-giving’) was the first woman on earth. Before humans there were the immortals (the Gods and Titans). The brothers, Prometheus and Epimetheus were Titans (Giant people) who had fought on the Gods’ side in a war. Some say they were cousins of Zeus, King of the Gods; he asked Prometheus to create man out of clay and water (in many versions Hephaestus helps in this). Epimetheus had to create the animals and give them their gifts of courage, swiftness etc. He gave out all the gifts and had none left for Man. So Prometheus decides to make man stand upright, like the gods, and give them fire (which Zeus did not want them to have – some say he had removed it as a punishment). So Prometheus stole fire – some say from Zeus’ lightning, others from the sun and yet others from Hephaestus’ forge.
In classical Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on Earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create her. So he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many gifts: Athena clothed her, Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo gave her musical ability, and Hermes gave her speech.
According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus. Pandora opens the box containing death and many other evils, which were then released into the world. She hastens to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – Elpis (translated as ‘Hope’, though it could also mean ‘Expectation’).
In the original Greek stories it was a jar and did not become a box until the Sixteenth century AD.
A scholar called Erasmus, who lived in Rotterdam in Holland, translated a story of Pandora from Hesiod’s work. Hesiod was a Greek poet who lived about 700BC. Erasmus was translating the Greek into Latin (which scholars did all their writing in, in those days) and translated the Greek word ‘pithos’ meaning jar into the Latin word ‘pyxis’ meaning box. And a box it has stayed to this day!
The myth arose as a way of explaining why dreadful things happened, such as people getting sick and dying.
As in many origin myths, man had lived in a world without worry – until this jar/box was opened, which contained ills for mankind. Zeus knew that Pandora’s curiosity would mean that she could not stop herself from opening it, especially when he had told her that she must not do so!
I also learned this week: that the iconic ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ posters were never used in wartime.
And …. That Gorillas can be put on the pill. (But why would they want to be?)
That the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary is ‘tattarrattat’. James Joyce used it in Ulysses: ‘I knew his tattarrattat at the door.’
The second man to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, Bobby Leach, survived the fall but later died as a result of slipping on a piece, of orange peel. (forgive me … but I did have a little chuckle at the irony . . . until I gave myself a stern talking to.)
I also learned …. that at the end of August this year, it will be 20 years since the death of Princess Diana. This shocked the heck out of me, for it really doesn’t seem like 20 years ago.
So … has your brain exploded with all this new information? I certainly hope not. The only reason mine is still going is because I learnt all this over a period of 7 days … where-as you are learning it over a coffee, and that’s a lot of new information to deal with all at once.
Well … you’re here not only for the edumacation … I know you’re also here for a handful of jokes … so pin back your lugholes … we’re going in!!
How do you throw a party in outer space? . . . . You planet
Why is the letters ‘P’ a pirates’ favourite letter of the alphabet? . . . . Because without it they are irate.
Two peanuts are walking down a dark street.One of them is assaulted.
What did the bra say to the hat? . . . You go on ahead. I’ll give these two a lift.
Q: Did you hear about the Mexican magicianwho told the audience he was going to disappear on the count of three? . . . A: He said, “Uno…dos…” then vanished without a tres.
Q: You know why you shouldn’t go to the bathroom next to a Pokemon? . . . A: Because he might Pikachu.
Q: If you’re American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? . . . A: European.
and finally … a little helping of Grandad jokes, for you to share with your Grandad, or, if you’re a Grandad yourself … to make you smile. (or… if you’re a Grandma – pass them on!)…
Grandad is always complaining about how much things cost. “£3.50 for a cup of tea!”, “£1.50 for two custard cream biscuits!” …. so I told him: “Look Grandad, you just popped round. I didn’t invite you!”
(give that one chance to sink in before you move on). lol
Grandad was remembering the days when “everyone could leave their back doors open“… which is probably why his submarine sank.
Grandad died, and we didn’t get chance to say goodbye. Which was all the more poignant because he drowned in a bowl of Cheerios.
Tell your friends! I’m here all week. 😀 [drums heard in the distance] badabum!!
All that’s left for me to do now is wish you a fabulous Friday, and a truly wonderful weekend.
May the weather be mild and may each hour of each day bring you something to be thankful for.
Have a blessed day my friends. Be good to each other.
Hello you! Aw I’m so thrilled to see you here, thank you so much for coming. I could do with a cheery friend with a smiling face. Fancy a coffee? Tea? You sit down at the table and I’ll pour us a drink. Help yourself to biscuits!
So … you’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week aren’t you? Well… I’d better make a start then!
This week I seem to have spent ages crying over one thing or another. Things I’ve seen on the news. A programme about a footballer whose wife had passed on (from Cancer), leaving him and three children. (wept several times during that programme). I cried hot tears for the Liberian children in West Africa, and all of the children living in poverty around the world, when I watched one of our annual big fund-raisers – Comic Relief– on TV. (I donated. Like I wouldn’t?). Oh … and other things had me in tears … some of them piffling little things and then others which weren’t in the least bit piffling, but I’m not going to list and share them because if I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster, I don’t want to put you on one as well! eek!
I’ve learnt that just as I sit down to visit ‘my reader’ (a wonderful device on WordPress, where all the blogs a person follows, with all the latest blog posts, are all listed out for them on one continuous page!) … and have a look at all the blogs I follow and leave comments or likes etc…. it’s right at that VERY moment that the phone rings; or the door knocks; or it’s time for lunch/dinner/something/or other. And I think I’m now so far behind on all the fabulous people’s blogs I follow, that I’ll never catch up ever again! But … I’m trying. I really am. So bear with me if I haven’t been to your blog yet… I’ll be getting there very soon.
I’ve learned this week …. rather a lot about Octopuses. (… not Octopi. Octopuses is the preferred plural).
People of the world who watch the news(and especially those who love football) for sure will remember that eight-tentacled seer – Paul the Octopus – who was used to predict football scores during the World Cup in 2010. Yes? Well for those who don’t know or would like a reminder … here’s a very short video of Paul, choosing the final ‘winner’ (in his opinion) …
During the 2010 World Cup, the cephalopod pundit, living in a German Sea-life centre was SO accurate in his forecasting that he became an international headline. He got nine out of ten matches in that tournament SPOT ON! When it came to predicting a football winner, this little chap was amazing.
Now before I go any further … I’m not a football fan. Not even a teeny bit. In fact I dislike it so much that I can’t be in the same room as a television which is broadcasting it. The noise, the roar of the crowd, the wails and ‘woo hoos’, I can’t bear it. (Now you see why I have a craft room 🙂 lol).
Anyhoo …back to Paul.. There were, of course, people who said when Paul fished a tasty mussel out of a box which was ‘wearing’ the flag of one of the football teams who were in a forthcoming match, it was just coincidence that he picked the winner.
However they couldn’t have been more wrong. An Australian philosopher, Peter Godfrey-Smith had detailed his own opinion of the Octopus, and upon reading it, it soon becomes clear that Paul was no ‘one-off’. Godfrey-Smith told of one captive octopus that lived in a laboratory tank. He said that they are very particular about their diet. They like crab, eased fresh from the shell.
In this experiment, a researcher had been feeding captives chunks of frozen squid. One day, as she made her way down the row of tanks, the scientist’s noticed one of the Octopuses in the tanks.
“It had not eaten its squid, but was holding it up conspicuously,” Godfrey-Smith writes. “As she stood there, the octopus made its way slowly across the tank to the outflow pipe, watching her all the way. Then, still watching her, it dumped the bit of squid down the drain”.
She wasn’t impressed with the food in that restaurant, that’s for sure!
An octopus has no bones, its bone-free body can be ‘re-made’ to fit the space available, and its skin – (and this might surprise you) – can see! An octopus’ skin is rippling with little receptors that react to light and allow it to navigate its way around the depths of the ocean, changing colour as it goes.
Sadly, these fascinating, cunning, clever creatures don’t live much past the age of two. And this is why no one ever saw Paul back on the footballers seats, prophesising who was going to win the next match. Paul passed away shortly after the end of the football tournament in 2010 which made him famous world-wide. A fabulous one season wonder.
More about Professor Godfrey Smith and Octopuses, along with a photograph of the man himself, can be found on the following link, which will open in another window for you:- Harvard Gazette – Thinking like an octopus
So .. what else did I learn? . . .
Ohhh… I learned this, about the Prime Minister’s Residence, at number 10 Downing Street, here in the United Kingdom…
It is only since Arthur Balfour became Prime Minister in 1902 that the Prime Minister has been expected to live at No. 10. Only one former Prime Minister has ever died there: Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, who resigned as Prime Minister on the 3rd April 1908 but was too ill to move and died 19 days later. His last words were: ‘This is not the end of me.’
10 Downing Street is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in Britain. The front door cannot be opened from the outside because it has no handle, and no one can enter the building without passing through an airport-style scanner and a set of security gates manned by armed guards. However, in the first five years after Tony Blair became Prime Minister, 37 computers, four mobile phones, two cameras, a mini-disc player, a video recorder, four printers, two projectors and a bicyclewere stolen from the building. (Not sure what that says about who … Tony Blair or his staff. [gulp]) lol
Ohh, and you’ll never guess what I learned about…. Potatoes!
Genetic testing has proved a single origin for potatoes, – in the area of southern Peru and extreme northwestern Bolivia where they were domesticated between 7,000 and 10,000 years ago.
Potatoes were taken outside the Andes region about four centuries ago and now they are the world’s fourth-largest food crop, after maize, wheat and rice
Following centuries of selective breeding there are now about 5,000 different varieties of potatoes.
Now let’s see… there was something else I know I learned,and really wanted to share with you … what the divil was it? .. OH … TIME TRAVEL! Now pay attention you lot at the back. This is good stuff!
According to General Relativity, everything in the Universe is played out on a stage that has three dimensions of space and one of time. This space-time is warped by the mass and energy of the Universe’s contents. Theoretically a large enough concentration of mass or energy can distort time so much that it folds back on itself like a crumpled sheet.
These folds were described by Kurt Gödel in 1949 and are known as ‘closed time-like curves’. They ought, at least in theory, to allow us to revisit past moments in history by using an idea developed in 1988 by Kip Thorne and colleagues at the California Institute of Technology, who showed that tunnels through space-time (wormholes), would allow time travel by taking a shortcut from one fold to the next.
There are still plenty of obstacles to time-travelling through wormholes. Not least is the fact that the only wormholes we can possibly make with present-day technology are tiny: only subatomic particles would be small enough to travel through them.
I learned more about Time Travel …. but I’ll save it until next week. I don’t want to explode your brain! (ohhh the very thought!).
So … this is how much more educationamalised I am this week. You know … I’m seriously beginning to wonder where I’m storing all this stuff, and how much of the other stuff is being shifted out. What if something really important is being thrown over-board, like … my address, or my name? How will I know what to tell the Police if I get lost? “What’s your name?”I dunno!“Where do you live?”Don’t know that either …. but I can tell you something about potatoes which might thrill you! Don’t laugh … it could happen!
But anyhoo … we have now come to that time where you sit back, get comfortable … and I slay you with some jokes. Well … perhaps not slay you exactly … perhaps ‘tickle your chuckle muscle’. … Are you ready?? Ok, lets go!
I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn’t play any 70’s music… at first I was afraid, I was petrified!
My doctor thinks I’m taking hallucinogenic drugs… how do I know? … let’s just say a little bird told me.
My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles… which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”
My husband and I decided we don’t want children; . . . so if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? . . . A barberque!
What do you call a train loaded with toffee? . . . A chew chew train.
What’s round and bad tempered? . . . A vicious circle.
and finally . . .
I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft . . . they didn’t respond to my telegram. 😀
Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee moment with me.
I hope you have a beautiful Friday,and that tomorrow doesn’t catch you by surprise ….. (in case you hadn’t noticed … tomorrow is April Fools Day!). May you find some more smiles to add to those you’ve just found, and I hope both today, and your whole weekend, are truly blessed.
May the winds be soft, the rain be somewhere else, and may your heart and mind work together as one.
Be good to each other and . . . may your God go with you.
Hap Pee Fry Day! (say it out loud if it didn’t make sense just reading it) 🙂
My education has grown in height and in width this week – and funnily enough, my figure has grown in width too – there’s a strange thing! Wouldn’t know why it’s happened. It’s not like I’ve eaten chocolate every da…… ah. no. Ahem …. Actually, I might know why that’s happened. (suck it in Cobs. Suck it in). 😀
So anyhoo …You’re waiting to find out what lessons Life has taught me this week, aren’t you? So I guess I’d better dive in and drag you under with me. Put your Snorkel on Madge, and buckle down your Scuba diving equipment Albert … we’re going in!
My Edumacationamilisation began last Saturday morning whilst in the shower. DON’T WALK OUT! OY!!! This is not a mucky story, so sit back down and pin back your lug ‘oles!
I’d done all the body shower bit, and washed my hair, and was doing a final rinse of my face. I cupped my hands under the water as it rained down, and getting a little handful, I raised my hands to SPLASH the water all over my face when the accident happened.
I misjudged the distance to my face and in doing so, I scrapped my thumb nail up my chin. Ooooo! That stung. “Cooo”, I thought, “I bet that will leave a red mark!” I said to myself (and yes, I admit there was a bit of swear word in there somewhere … ‘dash’ and darn’. That sort of thing because it did rather hurt). After all the splashing I got out of the shower and looked into the mirror on the door of the bathroom cabinet.
“Hells Bells Woman! You’ve done a grand job there!” I said, looking at the red mark on my chin. I stepped closer to the mirror. “Ohh heck!“. I looked in the mirror and could see that this wasn’t just a mark. This was several layers of skin which I’d taken off, and it was bleeding – rather a lot.
Summing up … the outing I’d planned for that Saturday had to go ‘by the bye’ – because Life taught me to: Be More Careful When Washing my face, because my hands (and finger nails) are the most magnificent weapons of destruction.
A week later and I’m still sporting a nasty wound to my face. It’s healing – but not as fast as I’d like.
I learned this week:- that Florida has more bear hunters than it has bears.Which led me to wondering why there were ANY bears in Florida at all in that case! Just that. Nothing more. But I thought it was an interesting thought.
I also learned this week … that Nostalgia was classified as a disease by the Royal College of Physicians until 1899. Yes, seriously. It was considered to be a ‘Crippling Mental Illness’.
Emigrants and soldiers would often fall victim to nostalgia, and it was thought that if it wasn’t stopped fairly quickly, it would end in victims wasting away and losing their ability to adjust and cope with daily life.
However, more recently, studies have been conducted on nostalgia and have discovered that there are actually some benefits to it—a far cry from the ideas that contracting nostalgia would make a person give up on life and simply waste away. Researchers at the University of Southampton have found that indulging in a bit of nostalgic reminiscing might make a person sad for a short period, but in the long run, it serves as a comfort.
I also learned that . . . When you blush so does the lining of your stomach. Yes, I thought it was an early April Fools Joke too, so I went in search of more details to make sure that I wasn’t believing in the ‘Money Tree’ . . . . and this is what I found…
Blushing is a response that is the result of the sympathetic nervous system causing increased blood flow throughout the body. During periods of embarrassment, the body releases adrenaline, a hormone that prepares the body for stressful situations. Adrenaline also makes the blood vessels dilate in order to improve blood flow and oxygen delivery in case the body has to suddenly flee a dangerous situation. The veins in the face, as well as in the stomach lining and throughout the rest of the body, then have more blood than normal flowing through them, and they appear red.
Now this next bit of edumacationamilisation totally floored me. BUT …. Before I share it with you I need to tell you about a place called Cornwall. Cornwall is a fabulous holiday destination here in the UK. For those of you who have seen and watched the programme Doc Martin – Cornwall is where Doc Martin is filmed. It’s a truly lovely place and I have fond childhood memories of holidaying there. It’s in the South of England.
A map to help you visualise where Cornwall is….
Cornwall is down in the south, at the far point on the left. Next to it is Devon, another beautiful place, where, if you meet a local who’s been there for all their life, they’ll pronounce it: Debun (but it actually comes out as: Debn). Next to Devon, along the coast line, is Dorset – or ‘Darsit’, if you’ve lived there all your life. Dorset is where you’ll find Mr.Cobs and myself, and Little Cobs (and his Mummy and Daddy). Mr.Cobs and I are generally trying to find as much fun and as many giggles as possible, all without the aid of alcohol. (mostly)
But back to the plot:-
The world’s only Cornish pasty museum is in Mexico. Those of you from the United Kingdom will perhaps now have eyes as wide as saucers and you’ll be scoffing at me saying this. Yup … that’s how I felt when I learned about this. So… me being me … I double checked … and guess what … it’s t.r.u.e.
The world’s first museum dedicated to the “delicacy” is in the mining municipality of Real del Monte, more than 4,500 miles away from Cornwall, in Mexico.
The pasty has been in Mexico for generations, having been taken to the country along with football and technology by Cornish miners in 1824, as they helped build up the local mining industry.
For those who might not know what a Cornish Pasty looks like…..
Genuine Cornish Pasties have their crimping around the side, as you see in the above photo. However … when I make my own Cornish Pasties, I always put my crimping over the top, like the ones in the picture below.
You can imagine how both funny and weird I found it when I learned that here is Cornwall, nestled in the UK. A place of beauty and wonder, Cornish Pixies, incredible people, great places to visit, AND … famous for it’s fabulous Pasties … and yet … the only Cornish Pasty Museum is four and a half thousand miles away in Mexico! There is something very strange about this. Something has gone badly wrong. The World has surely gone mad!!!
Nope .. still can’t make head nor tail of that one.
I also learned this week …
That a group of Unicorns is called a blessing.
A group of Shrews is called A Whisker
A group of Ladybirds is called A Loveliness
A group of Snails is called an Escargatoire
A group of Hippopotamuses is called A Bloat
A group of Ponies is called A String
A group of Hyenas is called A Cackle
A group of Pekingese is called A Pomp
A group of Owls is called A Parliament
A group of Ravens is called A Storytelling – or – An Unkindness
A group of Husbands is called A Couch or A Bench
A group of Wives is called …. A Nag (the cheek of it!)
A group of Guinea Pigs is called A Muddle
A group of Caterpillars is called An Army
A group of Parrots is called A Pandemonium.
A group of Porcupines is called A Prickle.
I also learned this week …..
That even the wonderful Twillweld, that most brilliant of wire netting used on Aviaries, chicken runs, guinea pig and rabbit hutches, is no match for a bloody minded mouse with food on its mind!
You can see in the photo above how tiny the holes are in the Twillweld wire on the hutch. We’ve had the hutch since my rabbit was born and never had a problem with it. However … read on dear reader, read on!
We found a mouse had managed to get into my rabbits cage, and had set up home in there, happily munching away on all the lovely rabbit food my bunny has, and made itself very snuggly in all the hay she has to eat, and straw she has for her bedding.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! (and some swear words thrown in there because I’m so cross).
THEN … when Mr. Cobs had found the little blighter – it ran out of the hutch and passed Mr.C at a gazillion miles an hour, so that it couldn’t be caught. Now how this happened is a total mystery to Mr.C and myself … because not only was Mr.C on the case, wanting to catch said mouse and take it far away, into the woods, to leave it there – as per my instructions. But our two cats were on guard duty – one at the rear of the hutch, one at the side, waiting, waiting, waiting – one of which was Alf Capone (Used Furniture Dealer) – who IS a killer of mice (and pigeons, garden birds, – and also a thief, as I’ve previously discussed), AND ALSO,bringing up the rear and checking for any escapees, was Madam Jack Russell, (aka: my little fat bitch – because she is. Fat, and a bitch) who finds mice and rats and the killing of, a pastime. So how that cheeky mouse got past my army, I have absolutely no idea! I know it went under the hutch, because I saw it go… and so did my cats (Alf Capone was at this stage going crazy to get it. He knew it was under the hutch) – but when Mr.C came back from his trip to his shed, bringing with him a long piece of wood which he ‘swept’ under the hutch, back and forth – absolutely nothing came out. We had no idea where it went. Nor did the cats.
So Miss fluffy bunny rabbit was totally cleaned out and everything was either thrown away or washed and put back into the rabbit hutch.
Two days later . . . Mr.C found that mouse b*gger had only got back in there again and been busy stashing food into a corner behind the rabbits litter tray for itself. Mr.C found it because he saw the mouse droppings around the insides of the hutch. But upon searching, there was no mouse to be found. So another clean up followed and some changes were made.
Dearest Mr.C has sealed off the lower floor of the hutch from the upper floor, and he’s taken away the ladder, as my rabbit is quite old now and no longer used the upstairs part of her hutch as she didn’t find it easy to clamber up it any longer. So by doing what he’s done he’s made sure that the blasted thing can’t get to my rabbit again,
So … she’s moved upstairs and only she is there. Mr.C has then paid some attention to the lower part of the hutch and sealed off the Twillweld (metal wire netting) in the lower part of the hutch so that mouse will have to go and look elsewhere for his meals.
Let all mice be warned …I’ve given Alf Capone complete control over the matter, and if there happens to be a mouse wandering through our garden, anywhere near that hutch, he’s been given permission to do with them what-ever he sees fit.Bl**dy mice!
Ok… we’ve finally reach that point which we’ve all been hanging around the back of the class room, waiting patiently for…. THE JOKES!
Ready? Let’s dive in to a pool of chuckles …
My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.
Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.
What is Beethoven’s favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-na.
My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
Jokes about opticians just get cornea and cornea.
When my husband told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo, I decided to put my foot down.
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.
If you want a job in the moisturiser industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
A woman told me she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
I hate perforated lines, they’re tearable.
❤ ~ and finally … ~ ❤
How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer! 😀
Aaaaand, those are the jokes folks!
Happy Friday, wherever you are, and wherever you are, make it a good one.
You have two choices … you can either decide to have a good day … or you can decide to have a bad one. Then you have two more choices … fix to your memory one of your favourite jokes from the ones above, and then share it with someone today and make them smile. Or, you can keep the jokes to yourself and not share the smiles around.
Each day is filled,from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, of a series of two choices. This or That. Yes or No. Stay or Go. Here or There. This outfit or That one. Bath or Shower. Smile or Grizzle. All the time, two choices. Look out for them today and become aware of them as the choices appear. Make sure you make the right choice. Then once you’ve made your choice, don’t complain when you don’t like what you chose.
Have a truly fabulous Friday. May the day be kind. May all the people you come across today be even kinder. May you not have too many choices to make where you don’t like either choice. But … where you do make your choice, may you be able to find the joy.
Have a truly blessed day my friend. I’ll be thinking about you. Be safe and … may your God go with you.
Morning all. Happy Friday! And … a Very Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all. 🙂
St. Patrick has a great history, and makes a good read. So if you’re in the mood for reading, then I supply a link here —> A history of St. Patrick the patron saint of Ireland. <— which will open in another window and sit waiting patiently for you, until you’ve finished having a read here. 🙂 The website is owned and written by an Irish lady who’s family history also makes a great read. So the story (and all the pages on the site) all come direct from Ireland without any twists which shouldn’t be there.
The world continues my educationalamalisation, and I’m now wondering if that’s why I keep forgetting things. Names of people. Road names. Appointments. What I went to the fridge for? What it was I wanted from the shop, before I’ve even got my shoes on to leave the house! How to get to places. (don’t suggest SatNavs, because I can’t use the darn thing. ‘She’ really politely tells me what to do next, and I can’t remember what it was she just said! Useless. I’m totally useless. Of no use to man nor beast.
But I’ve come up with a theory that the reason I’m forgetting things is because I’m learning allll the time, and all the new stuff is pushing some of the other stuff over the edges of my brain! Where they’re going from that point is anyones guess, I do have a theory at that too … but I’m not about to discuss it in polite company. 😉
What were we talking about again? Ohh yes! … educationalamalisation … I shall continue:
I learned this week ….
That Trees sleep at night. (cor!I heard you gasp from here!). Well, when you think about it, wouldn’t you need a bit of a snooze after a long a long day of photosynthesizing?
Here, straight from the horse’s mouth (or scientists mouth in this case) is the explanation ….
It depends on how you define “sleep,” but trees do relax their branches at night, which might be a sign of snoozing, the scientists said.
In the only reported study to look at tree ‘siestas’: researchers set up lasers that measured the movements of two silver birch trees at night. One tree was in Finland and the other in Austria, and both were monitored from dusk until morning on a dry, windless night in September. This was close to the solar equinox, when daylight and nighttime are about equal.
The laser scanners used infrared light to illuminate different parts of the tree, each for fractions of a second. This provided enough detail to map each tree within minutes, the researchers said.
The silver birches’ branches and leaves sagged at night; they reached their lowest position a few hours before sunrise, and then perked up again during the wee hours of the morning, the researchers found.
“Our results show that the whole tree droops during night, which can be seen as position change in leaves and branches,” study lead author Eetu Puttonen, a researcher at the Finnish Geospatial Research Institute, said in a statement. “The changes are not too large, only up to 10 centimeters [4 inches] for trees with a height of about 5 meters [16 feet].”
It’s unclear if the sun “woke up” the trees or if they relied on their own internal circadian rhythm, the researchers said. But “the fact that some branches started returning to their daytime position already before sunrise would suggest this [internal circadian clock] hypothesis [is right],”.
The finding isn’t too surprising. Most living organisms have day and night circadian rhythms, and any gardener will notice that some plants open their flowers in the morning and that some trees close their leaves at night. The famed botanist Carl Linnaeus (1707-1778) found that flowers confined to a dark cellar still opened and closed, and naturalist Charles Darwin (1809-1882) noted that the nocturnal movement of leaves and stalks on plants looked like the plants went to sleep.
So … what else did I learn this week?
Well … from watching a TV programme on TV, I learned this mind-blowing (no not really. Not in the least bit mind-blowing, but it is a bit of fun) information which should change the world (no it seriously won’t) … I learned: That ‘Google’ reports that searches for ‘How to put on a condom’ peak at 10.28pm. Saying nothing. Nope. Not going to get into that one. I’m only here to report on my ‘learnings’. 🙂
I also learned: There is no word for time in any Aboriginal language. Maybe I should move there? Time wouldn’t exist, and therefore I wouldn’t get any older! Sounds fine to me … oh …. hang on …. if I don’t get any older then I’ll miss out on Birthdays and birthday presents …. hmmm … as Fagin said: I think I’d better think it out again!
I learned that ‘Emoji’ – these things: 🙂 😦 😀 – is the fastest growing language in history. See, … now this made me think that we’re all going backwards. Cavemen and women used a similar sort of thing by drawing on cave walls in order to tell the story of their day. “I saw a cow. I threw a stick at the cow.” – only they drew pictures to tell that story. … maybe that’s where we’re heading?
And I also learned that apparently…. The name Donald means ‘ruler of the world’. His mother, Mrs. Duck, must be SO proud. (Mr. Disney will be chuffed to know that too!).
Finally…. I learned that … (and this made me feel a little bit sad, and think of Wall-E ...the last robot left on Earth . . .) … On each anniversary of its landing on Mars, the Curiosity Rover hums ‘Happy Birthday’ to itself. 😦 (imagine an ‘Emoji’ here of a crying face)
Crafters of the World – we need to unite and craft poor little Curiosity some birthday cards. (We’ve got plenty of time, his birthday isn’t until August the 5th)
Shall we now move on to the part you’re waiting for? Do you have your coffee ready? Biscuits and cookies? Ok … let’s go!
These are the JOKES folks!
I just ate a frozen apple. . . .Hardcore.
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. … I thought it was a nice jester.
I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. . . .When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. . . .Then it dawned on me.
I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. . . .She seemed surprised.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory. . . .I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
So I applied for a job making sandwiches, . . .but the roll had been filled.
Then I got a job working in an origami shop, . . . but it folded.
What do you get hanging off banana trees? . . . Sore arms.
and finally . . .
I’ve just been diagnosed as colour blind. . . .It came right out of the purple!
~ ❤ ~
So do you feel more intelligent? Has reading all this new stuff, pushed some of your old stuff out of your brain, and now it’s free-falling at rapid speed, throughout your body, bouncing off your liver, kidneys and all those other squishy things inside you? If so … then thank heavens for that! At least I know I’m not alone in this weirdness. (lol)
Have a truly fabulous Friday, and perfect St. Patrick’s Day. May your weekend bring love, smiles, joy, and a clear conscience.
Be good to each other, and … may your God go with you.
[The door is flung open. She’s arrived, but not under her own steam. She was blown through the door with the great force of a wind which took no prisoners. And she arrived with as much grace as a cow in a china shopand making about the same amount of noise too!].
WHOOO!!! Flipping heck, its windy out there! I don’t know about the weather where you are, but here in the UK (in various places dotted around Great Britain), Storm Doris has blown in and she’s making sure that her presence is felt. Folks here have christened today (Thursday evening, as I’m writing this), Doris Day. HA! Love it. (actually giggle to myself every time I say it. Doris Day. Love that soooo much!).
The odd thing about the weather this week is that I went out two days before Doris Day wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a lightweight jacket. I ended up taking the jacket off and leaving it in the car because it was SO hot!
We have a saying here: … ‘Come to the UK and experience Snow; Wind; Rain; Hail; Sleet; Sunshine; Warmth; Heat; and Hotter than hot. In fact all of the weathers,all in one day!’
This week has been a mixed week. I seem to have done much but only have a little bit to show for it. I made a card for a blogging friends mum, who had broken her ankle. I have photos, and now that the card has been received the other end, I can share the piccies with you. I’ll blog the pictures in the next couple of days. After making the card, I decided it was about time I cleaned my craft room and moved a few things around which were now in the wrong place. Oh. My. Goodness! Nightmare In the Craft Room time! I got about half way through and really wished I hadn’t started this task.
I’m still finishing off. And I’ll be so glad when everything is put in its rightful place, and all the papers and trimmings have all been put back where they belong. phew!
Anyhoo... you haven’t come here to listen to my ramblings about cleaning up. You’ve come to get some edumacation. (Yes I know it’s ‘education’ … but I prefer my word. lol)
So … shall we dive in and get educationamalised? Strap yourself in. Ready? And we’re OFF! . . .
This week … I learned to leave a fresh from the oven pizza all alone for at least five minutes and NOT to take a bite of a slice until 5 minutes have passed. How did I learn this? …. picture the scene dear reader …
The smells from the oven were over-whelming. A gorgeous, tummy rumbling, nose twitchy sensation, hunger pangs sort of way. The whole house smelled of the fabulous roasted vegetables which topped the pizza, along with the two different cheeses, and the little circles of garlic butter (the size of a penny) which dotted the top of the pizza. And the Garlic bread which was cooking at the same time.
The timer dinged, sounding out its permission to remove that pizza from the oven. Pizza and garlic bread were removed, and salad was waiting for the finished dishes. The pizza was cut, popped onto the plates and served up. The smell was way too much. I couldn’t wait … I lifted that slice up to my lips and took a bite of that fabulous triangular bit which came from the centre of the pizza.
What happened next was something that should have been reported on the news! (Unfortunately the POTUS pushed me off the top spot so I never even got a mention!).
What I didn’t know about that Pizza was that the toppings and the cheese came from the depths of the core of a Volcano. So hot. SO SO SO – H.O.T.!!! Not spicy hot. Hot as in ‘let me put an iron straight out of the blacksmith’s fire into your mouth and you bite down on it for a moment or two’. Yeah, that sort of HOT.
I burnt the roof of my mouth behind my two front teeth. Not just a little burn. No. I don’t do things by halves. When I do things I go full-out and do ’em good. Ohhhh… the roof of my mouth was sore for days. The ‘problem’ lasted 4/5 days before I could brush my teeth in the normal way. In the: “I’m thinking about sunshine and flowers. What am I wearing today?. Why do I have the entire cast of the four-legged members of this household all in this tiny bathroom with me, looking up at me, waiting for me to what? Tickle them all maybe?” … way.
I had to concentrate very, v. e. r. y. carefully as I brushed the backs of those two teeth. None of that brushing the gums as well motion. Noooooooo. I had to be sure that I brushed the teeth and only the teeth. I had experienced the pain which occurred when I brushed the normal way I do, and I didn’t want to experience that again. Care needed to be taken.
So I learned that I shouldn’t be a pig with Pizza. Wait …. wait…. and wait some more … until the pizza was cool enough before you take a bite. Good lesson to learn.
I’ve also learned this week:That the Cadbury’s factory make 600,000 Creme eggs every 12 hours, and all those eggs, if weighed, weigh THREE TIMES HEAVIER than an elephant. The moral of this tale is … don’t eat more than one Cadbury Creme egg a week – unless you want to become an elephant.
I also learned that the Cadbury Brothers released the first filled eggs in 1923, but the Creme Eggs we all know today were introduced to stores only in 1963. They were initially named Fry’s Creme Eggs. But in 1971, they were rebranded as Cadbury’s Creme Eggs.
Each Creme Egg consists of 180 calories.
According to a survey done by Cadbury, there are different ways of eating the Creme Egg: 53 percent of people bite off the top, lick out the cream, then eat the chocolate; 20 percent just bite straight through; whereas six percent use their finger to scoop out the cream.
Which group do you fit into?
I also learned this week that I miss some of the funny people from our films and TV screens who have either parted company with us, or chosen to sit back and enjoy life, or just aren’t getting the jobs offered to them anymore. People such as Steve Martin. Bill Murray. John Candy. Robin Williams (I will never stop missing him). Leslie Nielson. Chevy Chase. Danny DeVito. Peter Sellers. Vince Vaughn. Jane Lynch. Dan Aykroyd.
We need to laugh more. I’m starting a movement for more funny stuff on TV. Lobby your TV stations and tell them that in these difficult times in which we live, we need more funny stuff on TV!
I learned this week … or should that be realised? No, we’ll stick to learned. I learned this week that I’m totally dumbfounded at how my attitudes towards certain things have changed as I’ve got older.
Things which were, in my opinion, ‘set in stone’ when I was in my twenties are now just not important at all. Stuff which was so crucial in my thirties, really aren’t anything I bother about now. Things which were of great significance are now … meh. They can all just slide on by me now.
What is important to me now is knowing that I am loved, and that the people I love KNOW I love them. Can see that I love them.
Our (Mr.Cobs and I) two children, who had their trying times and their ‘I’m going to pour her down the drain‘ moments … I now look back and see that in actual fact all that worry about them when they were in their teens, was just me being an over protective mum. I could see where ‘the dangers’ were and so would try to head them off before daughters 1 and 2 got to them. But … I shouldn’t have. They needed to learn, just like we all did. Only by learning the lesson ‘the hard way’, would they actually learn what the needed to – that being … how to deal with the problem!
So … young mums reading ... allow your children to learn about the things they’re going to need to know about in adulthood. Even if it’s how to get the lid off the Tupperware container … or how to sort their dirty clothes into piles of whites, darks and mixed colours! And WHY they need to learn that. It’s a valuable lesson – knowing not to put all the washing in the machine without sorting it out and only washing the right things with each other …. as we’ve all learned! 😀
But … enough of my ramblings! … I know what you’re waiting for … the JOKES!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
A child asked his father,“How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Q:What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? A: The Telephone.
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny:“Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny:“Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny:“Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny:“Seven!” Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!” Johnny:“Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the bank teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”
and last but not least …. this little thing which I saw this week and it tickled the heck out of me . . .
Well that’s us done and dusted and all caught up for another Friday! And not just any Friday either! Today is the last Friday in this month. Next Friday it will already be March. We’re really racing through these months, aren’t we. Phew. I can barely keep up.
I hope your Friday is a lovely one. A day which passes without any problems, and no gremlins getting into the hours.
May your weekend be the weekend you’re hoping for. May you sleep well and wake up feeling wonderful.
Sending you squidges, and hoping that life treats you well, till we meet next time.
Hello, and a very happy Friday to you. This week … or is it this month in general?, seems to be positively whizzing past! There are only 9 days left (as of today 17/2/2017) of this month! Y’know .. considering that February only has two or three days short of the other months, it seems (to me at least) to go twice as quick!
I’ve learned this week… that Little Cobs (my Grandson aged 5) still (apparently) believes that I can do ‘stuff’ with Lego. I can’t. To be honest, I’m unsure whether it’s misplaced faith, or out-and-out humour which keeps him asking.
He hands the big red storage box of Lego over to me (for that read: shoves the box into my hands) with the instruction:- “Build me something Grammy!”, he has this smile on his face teamed with a twinkle in his eye which tells me that this little chap is holding in hysterical laughter as he enjoys watching me squirm and groan as I roll my eyes and experience the pain of being a non-starter in the game of Lego Builder of the Year! (at which I lose BIG TIME!). But he allows me to struggle as he watches me take out a brick, peer at it through my glasses and just when I think it might ‘fit’ … he takes it off me with the words: “Give it to me Grammy” … and he sighs a tired sigh which says: ‘Give it to me and Grandad. We know what we’re doing.’
This week I also learned: That I LOVE those blow torches which you see professional chefs using!
They’re called a ‘Cooks Blow Torch’ – and I’ve had mine for . . . . (wait for this) . . . about 6 years. (I know, I know!) It was bought as a gift for me, from daughter No.2, and should have been taken from the packaging AND USED when I first received it.
To be honest: I looked at it when I received it and was fully up for using it…. however … I read the instructions and they scared the living snot out of me. Everything went back in the packaging and it’s stayed in there since.
But … I found a recipe for some cupcakes in a Sunday Supplement Magazine and SOOO wanted to make the cakes. The recipe gave an option of putting the cupcakes under the grill, or using a Cooks Blow Torch to brown off the topping. So … since Mr. Cobs was there, I told him to hang around the kitchen while I tried this new (old now! sheesh!) toy out as I was scared silly of burning the house down … or me! But … OH. MY. GOODNESS!!! I have found out that I LOVE Cooks Blow Torches! Aw my stars, these things are magical! Although mind… please, if you go out and buy one, do be careful with them because they can be dangerous – they are a blow torch after all, … but ohhhh I LOVE mine!
(…And daughter No.2 is really very pleased that I’m now using it! LOL)
Now this next ‘thing I learned’ is probably not news to folks from the USA, but cor, was it an eye opener to me!
I learned this week that … In the U.S. you can buy bras with in-built gun holsters! Now see, this both tickled me, and at the same time, my brain said: “Well that would be totally useless to you kiddo!”. You see … I have a little too much .. erm … no. Hang on. Let me put this another way. I, uhm … . No. No. Wait. I’m sure I can get this worked out. I’m afraid that there would be a problem with me having an in-built gun holster in my bra beeeecauuuuse ... I don’t have enough spare room to begin with. There. That sorts that out.
I tuck my cell (mobile) phone down my bra, because one really can’t look lady-like and carry a cell phone – but I can only tuck it down the right side of my bra, for if I tuck it down the left side, I found out that it makes my heart race. Yes. Seriously. I’m not joking. I can feel my heart begin to quicken and pound hard in my chest after a short while of having my cell phone stored on the left. So I stopped carrying it around on that side of my body pretty darn quick once I realised that it only happened when my cell phone was on the same side as my heart.
Now a cell phone is very much slimmer than a gun – so I don’t think I would be able to hide one adequately. I guess I could just hang one on a chain around my neck …. although trying to pull it up could cause an accident if it caught on the bra. Mmm.. I think I’d better think it out again! (as the song from ‘Oliver’ goes)
Now I know that I’ve learned an awful lot of other things this week, but for the life of me I can’t remember what they are. Had I been a sensible Cobs, I would have made a note of them like I normally try to do, as I learn things, so that I can share them with you. However, apparently this week, sensible wasn’t managable. Not even for a numbskull like me! tsk tsk.
So … shall we go straight into the jokes, because I know that’s all you’re here for?
Ok. … get ready … here they come:
Q… What is invisible and smells like carrots? …. A:-Rabbit Farts.
Q…What do you do when you see a spaceman? …A:-Park Your Car, Man
Q…What do you call a Bee who’s having a bad hair day? …A:-Frisbee
Q…What do you call a pig that does karate? …A:-Pork Chop
Q…What’s the best way to carve wood? …A:-Whittle by whittle
Q…How does a lion like his meat? …A:-Roar
Q…What kind of horses go out after dark? …A:-Nightmares
Q…How does the man in the moon cut his hair? …A:-Eclipse it.
and I bring to you . . . a beautiful poem . . . .
My eyes are full of tears,
and they can no longer see.
I wish that you were here,
to chop these onions for me.
For those of you who might be wondering what the Cup Cakes were which I made this week and used my Blow Torch on …. here’s the recipe, along with a photo of the finished cakes.
I’d invited Little Cobs round to Afternoon Tea, and told him to bring his Mummy of course! His school was on its half term break this week so I thought it might break the week up for him, and give his mummy some brain chill time by inviting them both round to afternoon tea.
There were little sandwiches, tiny sausage rolls (cocktail sized), and cocktail sausages because he loves them, and one or two other things which I know can tempt him – which probably aren’t on the Queens Afternoon Tea list of fun food, but they’re firmly on Little Cobs list. I wanted to make him some cakes. I made Lemon Meringue and Strawberry Cupcakes … the recipe for which I’d found in the Sunday Supplement magazine which came with one of the weekend newspapers. He LOVEDthem. So much so that he asked if he could have another one. So did his mummy! (I have to admit … they are rather more’ish’. You have been warned!)
Lemon Meringue and Strawberry Cupcakes
makes 12 cupcakes
cook time 20 minutes, plus cooling.
FOR THE SPONGES
100g (4oz) baking spread (such as Flora)
150g (5oz) self-raising flour
150g (5oz) castor sugar
3 tbsp milk
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
7g (¼ oz) freeze-dried strawberries. If they don’t have the really tiny chopped up dried strawberry pieces, then do what I did, — using the back of a wide bladed knife, press and crush a little at a time of the dried strawberry pieces until they’re tiny enough.
½ jar homemade or shop-bought lemon curd
FOR THE MERINGUE TOPPING
2 egg whites
100g (4oz) castor sugar
You will need a 12-hole muffin tin lined with paper cases and a piping bag fitted with a plain 1cm (½ in) nozzle (optional). Preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4.
First make the sponges. Measure the baking spread, flour, sugar, milk and eggs into a large bowl and add the lemon zest. Use an electric hand whisk to beat until light and fluffy, then fold in three-quarters of the strawberries. Spoon the mixture into the paper cases (see tip), dividing it evenly among them. Bake in the oven for 18-20 minutes or until golden, risen and springy to the touch. Set aside to cool on a wire rack.
When the cupcakes are cold, use a small sharp knife to cut a circle (about the diameter of a £2 coin) in the centre of each cake and scoop out a walnut-sized piece of sponge to leave a hole. Spoon 1 teaspoon of lemon curd into each hole, making sure the curd is level with the top of the cake. (You can buy a little gizmo which will remove a ‘plug’ of cake in just the right size. I found mine quite some time ago, on a cooks website. But there must be lots of places you can get one, – if you think you’ll get use out of it).
To make the meringue, whisk the egg whites until stiff in a large, spotlessly clean bowl using an electric hand whisk. Gradually add the sugar a little at a time and continue whisking on full speed until you have a stiff glossy mixture.
Use a small palette knife to spread some of the meringue mixture on the top of each cupcake, or pipe the mixture on if using a piping bag, and place back in the moulds of the muffin tin. Use a blowtorch or heat briefly under a hot grill to lightly brown the tops of the cupcakes – watching carefully as it only takes a minute – and sprinkle over the remaining dried strawberries to serve. Allow to cool and enjoy!
If you don’t use the measurements shown above, but instead use ‘cups’ or something else – then Google will be your friend for the conversions.
If you use a different system of cooking heat, again, ask Google and it will give you the conversion to what you use in your country.
Lemon Meeringue & strawbery cupcake
Close ups so that you can see them better …. although I’m sorry about the blurry images … they were the best I had.
Well that’s another week done and dusted. Have you learned anything this week? Do share, as I’m sure I must bore the arms and legs off the proverbial donkey with my ramblings, and I’d love to do some of your learnings!
Have a fabulous Friday…. and a truly wonderful weekend. Try not to get in a twist over stuff – and that includes Politics. There are enough people to do that, give yourself the weekend off.
May your days be peaceful, may any visitors you have come bringing warm smiles and happy hearts, and may the Fairy of Fun sprinkle you with happy dust.
Sending weekend squidges and soft little kisses to your head! Stay safe, stay warm, stay happy, be good to each other and … be good to yourself. You’re worth it.
Well what a lovely week it’s been. I seem to have done a lot and achieved very little to show for it. But I’ve really enjoyed it, and that, after all, is what life is supposed to be about. Enjoying it.
The weather, here in the south of England, has been a bit chilly, and night-time get’s really rather cold. I’ve been getting Mr.Cobs to turn the heating up by around 9pm of a night-time, just to keep the temperature at ‘toasty’. Mr. Cobs has to control the heating because I cannot understand our heating control box thingy-ma-jig. I always end up pressing the wrong button, or combination of buttons.
So …. What have I learned this week? Well I thought I hadn’t really learned anything at all until I got thinking about it …. check this little list out:-
I learned that probably the worst thing a woman can hear when she’s wearing a bikini is: “Good for you!”
I learned that Bifocals are God’s way of saying, “Keep your chin up.”
I also learned aboutHonest Brand Slogans and how these should become ‘Law’ – such as:
Hallmark:“When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”
Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”
Gillette:“We’re just going to keep adding blades.”
ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.” (ain’t THAT one the truth!)
Hot Pockets:“Every bite is a different temperature.”
I was reminded that I learned many years ago when Daughter No.1 was 15/16 years old that the four most beautiful words in our common language are:- “ I told you so”.
I finally found out what Instagram is actually all about. It’s ‘Twitter’ for people who go outside. Ha!
I still haven’t learned why my dog always barks like crazy and races to the door, all the time she’s running round in circles, when someone knocks on the door. She get’s SO excited, and yet . . . it’s hardly ever for her!
I learned that I’m more gullible than even I thought I was. . . . I heard, via a TV programme, that the Welsh word for microwave is ‘popty ping‘. So … before I added it to the list of things I’d learned this week I asked Mr.Google if this was true. The very first result which came up said it was true. So I shared the information with Mr.Cobs because I thought this was such fun. Popty Ping. Say it out loud. It’s kind of ticklish!
HOWEVER . . . I didn’t quite trust the first answer so did a little more digging around on Google and discovered that ‘popty ping’ is a made up word. The Welsh word for microwave is actually:- meicrodon. (And no, it doesn’t mean ‘tiny gangster’. lol). Shame … I rather liked popty ping. It was such a perfect description!
And finally … I learned: Women’s tears contain pheromones that lower the testosterone of nearby men. Would you believe it? When us gals shed a few tears, it makes the men nearest to us go all soft and gentle. From this I deduce that we should cry more often. Especially so when we want to buy ourselves a new pair of expensive shoes or maybe a handbag!
Well, I know why some of you are here. You just want some Jokes to spread happiness around the world this beautiful Friday. Ok … gird your loins … here are the Jokes:-
Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? ….A.Polaroids
Q. Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? … A.Because it’s a little meteor.
Q. What did the ghost say to the bee? … A.BOO-BEE
Q. Why didn’t the melons get married? … A. Because they cantaloupe!
and finally ….
Q. What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks? … A.DINO-MITE!
Well that’s another week which we’ve put to bed and noted it in our diaries. Have you learned anything this week? Been somewhere exciting? Done something amazing? Do share your story. I love to read about what’s going on in your corner!
Anyhoo ... all that’s left for me to do is wish for you a truly lovely weekend. May the weather be kind, may your heart be happy, and, where ever you are or where ever you go this weekend, may your God go with you.
It’s February. The month of ❤ Lurve. ❤ (imagine I’m saying that with a French accent … it will sound so much better.)
Did you know: That February is the third month of winter? In the Southern Hemisphere February is a summer month the equivalent of August … so G’day down there. Hows your summer?
Also … In Old English, February was called Solmonath (Mud month) or Kale-monath (Kale or cabbage month). So Kale and Cabbage is on the menu for the rest of the month!
Americans (I’m informed) have trouble with the word February – last year, a press release from the White House consistently spelt it as Feburary.
‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is the only Shakespeare play that mentions February.
The birthstone for February is amethyst.
The ancient Greeks believed that amethyst protected the wearer from drunkenness.
So … what have I learned this week?
Well … I’ve learned that what I thought were just ‘quirks’, aren’t. I really do seem to have some sort of OCD problems going on. I’ve always thought I was just weird – or ‘pernickety‘, as my Grandma used to say.
Silly things can make me feel uncomfortable. Sort of ‘wriggly’. A picture hanging at an angle. I’d have to straighten it up. HAVE TO. There is no choice about it. If I walked out of a room and left it … within about 3 minutes you’d find me back in that room straightening that picture. (even if it wasn’t even my house!) But I just put that down to me being a tidy person. Nothing wrong with that, eh?
If venetian blinds aren’t quite level … eventually they’d drive me nuts and I have to stand up and go over to sort them out.
Couldn’t bear it in my old doctors surgery when I saw that the bead chain thing on the bottom of the vertical blinds had come ‘un-hooked’ from one of the slats. I waited until the seat by the blinds had become free, then moved over and fixed it. (Daughter No. 1 wasn’t overly impressed mind).
But … this week there was an article which Mr.Cobs found in an on-line newspaper which he was reading and he told me about it, showing me some of the pictures. Of course, I had to go to the website and have a better look! Worst thing I did. I should have closed my eyes. Gone off and done something to take my attention away. But I didn’t. I looked!
The pictures I share with you here, are a selection from that article. Let’s see how you get along with these.
I’ll start you off with a gentle one …
Ok … let’s move the goal posts and take this one step further into madness ….
Are you starting to feel your level of comfort shifting at all?
Are you beginning to get a sort of itchy feeling going on? Feeling restless?
Have we found your level of ‘un-acceptable’ yet? What number of photograph got to you?
And finally … I’ve left this photograph until last because … well, for me at least, this is the one which is probably THE most serious one of all. This is the one which would get me using the word: DIVORCE! Either from himself or from either daughter. Brace yourself …
These photographs, although featured in an on-line Newspaper article, can be found on a website called Bored Panda … but Bored Panda doesn’t just have these sorts of photos. They have sections for practically everything. Check out the Little Polish Village – where everything is covered in colourful flower paintings! Oh … and while you’re there, do take a peep at the Two Disabled Rescue Cats – which is not in the least bit sad. Watch the video and you’ll smile for the rest of the day!
Anyhooo ... Although I’ve learned a few things this week … I wanted to share this OCD thing with you so that you could have a bit of fun with it too.
So I guess that the only thing left is …. The Jokes! Brace yourself ….
Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
He replied, “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Q.What has a bottom at its top? — A.A leg.
Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? – – – A. A bah-humbug
Q. How do you fix a broken Tuba? — A.With a Tuba Glue!
Q. What game would you play with a Wombat? — A. Wom.
Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? — A.He felt his presents.
Q. What do Cats eat for Breakfast? — A.Mice Krispies
And those are the jokes folks!
I hope your week has been a good one, and that no gremlins got in there and spoilt anything. However … if they did – you have to just remind yourself that sometimes we need a gremlin or two just to make our brains work out the way to deal with those little divils. And .. we learn by them.
I hope your weekend is relaxed and happy. With a little love sprinkled around the place, and a few smiles to warm your heart. Remember to share your own smile with someone else. YOU might just change someone elses day, or even life. We could all do with as many smiles as we can get. So share yours!
Sending loving thoughts, happy wishes and loads of squidges ~
Hello! Happy, happy Friday! I can’t believe that we’re here again already. It seems like I only took a nap since last week, and here we are, seven days later!
Shall I presume that since you’re here, you’ve already donned your crash helmet; are wearing your galoshes; and have slipped into your Flame Retardant Clothing? Yes? Good. Jump into your seat, put on your seatbelt (do ask if you need an extension belt) and hold hands with the person next to you. Let’s have no screaming now …. OFF WE GO…
I learned this week that I’d forgottenexactly how much I loved Mary Tyler Moore, the wonderful, deeply funny but never mucky, American actress. I grew up watching her on TV, and as I grew my enjoyment grew with me. I appreciated her more and more as I became an adult.
She represented a time which I wanted to stay living in. I could already see, as a young adult, that comedy was changing and how comics/comedians/actors and actresses were slowly breaking down or jumping over boundaries and barriers. I didn’t want this new ‘thing’ which dipped its toes in bad taste. I wanted what Mary offered, and women like her – on both sides of the pond. Valerie Harper and her Rhoda Morgenstern.
From the UK: a wonderful programme called Are You Being Served? – all of the actors and actresses who were a part of the whole fabric of this wonderful comedy. Felicity Kendal and Richard Briers in the fabulous ‘The Good Life’. I could go on, but I’d bore you to tears. But it is these types of programmes which had a magical quality which comedy shows just don’t seem to have today.
I learned/realised this week that I hadn’t really appreciated Mary Tyler Moore ENOUGH when I had the chance, and I so wish I had. Ms.Tyler-Moore left us, two days ago, on the 25th of January. When I heard the news on TV, I felt a lump come to my throat and a tiny piece of my heart broke. I shall never forget her. Thank you for the great joy and happiness you brought to my life Mary. x
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I learned this week that ….THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ‘NORMAL’ PERSON. Yes, you read that right. No one is ‘normal’. Each and every one of us is made up of a multitude of individual characteristics. If you take an average of each of them (height, shoe size, length of fingers etc), you won’t find any individual who is average in all respects.
This is known as the ‘Jaggedness Principle’.
During the 1940s the Jaggedness Principle forced the US Air Force to re-fit fighter airplanes with adjustable seats and other ‘adjustable to fit’ fixtures. You see: the cockpits were originally designed around the average range of just 10 body measurements taken from a population of 4,063 pilots. But because no single pilot met all of those criteria, they ended up with a seat which actually didn’t fit anybody.
And if you need further proof: In 2011 the Australian Bureau of Statistics used their national census to find the ‘average Australian’. They announced that she is: a 37-year-old woman with a son and a daughter aged six and nine. She is 162 cm (5’4”) tall, and weighs 71.1 kgs (11st). She lives in a three-bedroom house, has about $200,000 still to pay on her mortgage and her family originally came from the UK. However, when they checked this description against their census data they couldn’t find even a single person in the whole of the country who fitted that description!
See? No such thing as a ‘normal person’. So … that must mean that we’re ALL abnormal!?! LOL!!!
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I also learned this week …. that the Pope is paid no salary what-so-ever. He is paid nothing and owns nothing. A Vatican spokesman Joaquín Navarro-Valls ended speculation about the Pope’s personal wealth in 2001 by saying ‘The Pope does not and has never received a salary.’
As head of the Catholic Church and head of state of the Vatican, all the Pope’s worldly needs are looked after. A recent estimate of the Vatican’s wealth by Time magazine put it at between $10 and $15 billion. In full, the Pope’s job titles are: Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City and Servant of Servants of God.
Before officially taking on the role, the Pope-elect’s private property is donated to the Church, transferred to another relative, used to endow a foundation or placed in trust. He can also choose to retain controlling ownership and use his Will to specify what should happen to everything when he dies.
When John Paul II died in 2005 he left no possessions and asked for his personal papers to be burned. Three bags containing gold, silver and bronze coins were placed beside the body. Each bag contained one coin for each year of his reign, the only monetary compensation he received for his service, adding up to about £80.
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And now … that thing you’ve been waiting for … THE JOKES!
Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
A: He pasta way.
Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One! After that it’s not empty!
Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
A: A barbercue
Q: Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
A: He got stuck in Orbit.
Q: What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
Q: What does it mean if life gives you melons?
A: It means your dyslexic
and finally . . .
Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?
A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud
~ ~ ~
Well, that’s another weekly round-up of things I’ve learned this week, done and dusted. Not only am I cleverer* than I was a week ago, but now you are too! ~Aaaand … I’m slowly turning your skeleton into funny bones. I reckon I’m about up to your knees around this time … so we’re doing well!
*I know it’s not a proper word, but I likes it. 🙂
May today leave you filled with peace and with a smile in your heart, and may your weekend be restful, joyful and with a smattering of love surrounding the days. And … if you don’t have someone who can share their love with you this weekend …. then have some of mine. . . ❤ ❤ ❤
Sendingbucketsoflove~ from me here in my corner, to you there in yours.