The Story of the Spoons.

For the next few minutes I’d like to invite you to come on a [sort of] journey with me.  We’re going to run through a typical day of yours,   but,  we’re going to do it in a way that most of you might not have done before.

There is a saying which goes:  “Everything in life has to be paid for” …  and, when you think about it, it’s pretty much correct.   Now for your journey, I’m going to give you 12 (twelve) spoons.

Here they are.  Your 12 spoons,  all laid out nice and tidy.  

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 12 spoons

These just happen to be little wooden spoons, but they could just as easily be metal or plastic.  Or maybe big wooden cooking spoons.  Dessert spoons;  tea spoons;  table spoons …  any spoons you like.  Even a total mixture of spoons.  But just twelve of them.

These spoons are going to be your ‘currency’ – but not for buying clothes, sweets, furnishings, etc.  These spoons are a currency for something else entirely.  Something which we all take for granted.

Anyhoo  …  here’s where we begin your journey through your day, and where we ‘spend’ your spoons.   Let’s start with …

  • You wake up in the morning.  You sit up and sit on the side of the bed while you put your slippers on and contemplate standing up.  Now doing that  ‘effort’  has just cost you a spoon.  Your balance is now 11 spoons.

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 11 spoons

  • You stand up and make your way to the bathroom.  That effort cost you a spoon.  10 spoons left. . . .

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 10 spoons

Now … do you have a shower or go and have a coffee first?  Ah, let’s have a shower. . .

  • So … shower, towel dry,  and brush your teeth.  Phew!  That was quite an effort!  You just used 2 spoons.  (yes TWO!).  The balance is now 8 spoons.

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 8 spoons

  • You take yourself off to the kitchen,  make a coffee,  eat some breakfast.  Then either watch a little news on the TV,  or read the paper,  or perhaps you log onto your computer and check the news on-line or read/reply to emails.  Pay another 2 spoons.  The Balance on your spoon account is6 spoons.

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 6

Let’s see …  next on the list is getting to work – by bus or train or car.  Or ... you may be taking the children to school.  Or perhaps you stay home and so maybe cleaning the house or even maybe going shopping!

  • Now I know from experience how frustrating getting to work can be, whether you go by car, bus or train (or a combination of all) so just getting to work is going to cost you at the very least 2 spoons.   Your balance is now 4 spoons.
  • BUT…  if you don’t go to work and instead you do some cleaning and tidying of the house, then a short walk of the dog, or just a walk yourself for the fresh air and exercise,   then you too will have used up 2 spoons, so that means your balance is 4 spoons also.

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 4

Let’s say that it’s now 11.30am.  You began the day with 12 spoons, and you now have  only 4 spoons left.

4 spoons.  It’s only 11.30am, and you still have things to do before lunch, and still have to get through lunch!  You’d better pace yourself.

You decide to just sit at your desk and work.  Not getting out of your seat or expending more than the necessary energy you absolutely need to, just to get you to lunch time.  Orif you’re at home, you decide the best thing to do would be to sit and watch some day time TV and relax as much as possible.  You need to hang on to your spoons!!!

  • Lunch time arrives.  You have to leave your desk to go and buy lunch, or leave the sofa to go and make lunch.  This effort costs you 1 spoon.  3 spoons left.

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 3

Three spoons, and you know that you still have to get home from work,  and, or – if you don’t go out to work, then you have to prepare and cook dinner.  Even if it’s only for yourself, you still have to make yourself something … and there are only 3 spoons left.  It’s now 2.30pm.  You’re going to have to work out how to go through till dinner time with only three spoons.

The afternoon sat at your desk (or on the sofa) sounds like the best thing – but you won’t be able to go and get yourself a coffee or tea, or even water …. because that would cost you a spoon.  But you’re going to get thirsty and then you’ll get dehydrated which will give you a headache.  Oh dear, what to do?

  • It’s now 4.30pm and you’re hot, dehydrated, uncomfortable and getting just a little ratty because you’re in need of water.  You HAVE to get water.  You think carefully . . .  and tell yourself to get TWO cups or glasses of water so that you don’t have to stand up and get another glass if you get thirsty again.  So you do that very thing.  Two glasses of water.  You’re happy.  You feel like you’ve beaten the system.  YAY!

But you’ve lost another spoon!  Spoon Balance:  TWO

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 2

It’s now time to go home from work, – or time to get off the sofa and begin the preparation of food for dinner.  The journey into work cost you 2 spoons – so you have just enough spoons to get you home.  RELIEF!   All your spoons used up, but you’re on your way home!  phew!  That was a close thing!

Or … if you don’t go out to work:  you use up one spoon preparing a simple dinner.  So therefore you have one spoon left. 

The Spoon Story told by Cobwebs 1

Then doorbell rings.  Aw who the heck can that be? 

  • You go and answer the door.  It’s the next door neighbour bringing the big punch bowl that she borrowed for her party last weekend.  She stays for a chat on the doorstep – which is lovely because you haven’t seen a soul all day, so it’s really fabulous to see someone and chat!   She shares with you how the party went and how thrilled she was that she’d borrowed your punch bowl.  A five-minute chat quickly turns into 12 minutes of laughing and talking about the weather, the garden, the cost of living.  But eventually she leaves.  You bring the punch bowl into the kitchen and realise how drained you feel, having had to stand at the door with that heavy crystal glass punch bowl in your arms, getting heavier and heavier as the minutes pass by …. and all the time knowing that if you didn’t sit down in a moment you were going to fall down!

You go into the living room and flop down, exhausted, on the sofa....  and as you do so, you realise that you just used up your last spoon standing at the door chatting.

BALANCE  =  ZERO  –  NO SPOONS LEFT.

You’re home, you’re in a safe place ….  but  you’re hungry.  It’s been a long day.  You’re looking forward to dinner.  But . . .  hang on . . .  how are you going to find the necessary effort to cook dinner, then clear away afterwards, do the washing up and tidy the kitchen up again?  You have no spoons left.

This is a problem.  You can’t have what you can’t pay for.  Spoons have been your currency all day, and you’ve had to spend those spoons carefully.  But …  you now don’t have any left to get you through the last few hours of your day, feed yourself or even take yourself to bed.

So … what if you were able to borrow a couple of spoons?   2 spoons from tomorrows 12.  It will mean that you’ll only get 10 spoons tomorrow – but at least you’ll have an extra two spoons today, which will let you cook the dinner, eat it and then clean up afterwards.

Do you take the spoons?  Knowing that tomorrow you won’t then have enough spoons to last the whole day … or do you decide that you won’t eat dinner?

Lets say you take the offer … you cook dinner, eat and clean up. There. All done and dusted.

However,  later . . .  you want to go to bed – so you’ll need to get undressed, take a shower, brush the teeth, and finally … clamber into bed.

Aahhhh   .. hang on.  You don’t have any spoons left again.  You need an extra couple of spoons for all that, and you’re so very tired.  So weary.  You’re in pain.  Your legs hurt.  Your back is killing you.  Your neck is aching.  You’re having some muscle spasms which are hurting you.  Your arms feel so heavy that you can’t seem to pick them up.  You can’t think straight, your head seems to be all fuzzy.   Your hands keep jerking.  You can feel the nerves all over your body buzzing – as if someone has plugged you into some sort of electrical supply.  You NEED to lie down.  You cannot stand up any longer.

You’re unable to think or even talk properly.  You’re beginning to stutter and you can’t think why on earth your body is letting you down so badly.  Perhaps someone should call an ambulance because this really isn’t right.  You NEED TO LIE DOWN.  But you have no spoons which would enable to get you to your bed.

Readers . . .  what you’ve just read is my version or explanation of something called ‘The Spoon Theory’, originally written by a lady called Christine Miserandino who has Lupus, and who made up the spoon theory in order to explain to her friends how her condition affects her day.

I’ve just walked you/talked you through a typical day for you, or someone you know, and it was my way giving you an idea about what is experienced as a daily life of someone who suffers with a chronic illness and chronic pain.

A healthy person can begin a day with an unlimited amount of spoons (or energy), while a ‘spoonie’ (the term used to describe those who fall under the spoon theory) might have perhaps only 8 spoons at the start of their day, or sometimes even less.

There is no control over the amount of spoons because with chronic illnesses, the person suffering has no control over this important factor..  With a chronic pain syndrome, a ‘spoonie’ could wake up one day feeling great and have 12 spoons, but they could wake up the next day feeling just dreadful and with five or six spoons – it’s always out of the control of the ‘spoonie’ concerned.  Even the simplest of tasks can quickly cause them to run out of spoons.

I know all this because like some other readers here, I myself am a Spoonie, and I have to ration my energy.  I’ve had to seriously ration it over the past X number of months, as things have become more and more of a struggle.

I read about the Spoon Theory (by Christine Miserandino) quite some time ago and it struck me as such a wonderful way of explaining things to someone who had no idea of how a chronic illness and severe pain can seriously affect a sufferers life.  Everyone I’ve talked to about the spoon story and talked them through a typical (for them) day, using an imaginary set of 12 spoons, have had a moment where I actually saw a light bulb go off inside their head as they ‘got it’.  Even Mr.Cobs!

I even have my own set of 12 personalised spoons . . . 

Cobwebs own Spoons

. . .  and these spoons hang in my home, here in Cobweb Cottage.

Each of those spoons started life as an ordinary tea-spoon, but none of them are ordinary any more.  I took photographs of them a couple of weeks ago and have been wanting to share them with you.  But … this blog post has gone on long enough so I won’t bore you to tears with them right now.

However – I will share each teaspoon with you in my next post, so that if you want to make yourself some decorative spoons which mean something special to you, or maybe make one or more decorative spoons for someone else, then you might find a spark of inspiration from gazing at my spoons and it could set you off on a course of creativity which you hadn’t thought of before.

Next blog post in a few days time,  …. I promise 🙂

The reason for sharing the Spoon Story with you today is because I spoke about it,  a couple or so weeks ago,  in a reply to a comment which someone posted on the blog here.  Another blogger read that comment and then we chatted about it, and I promised that I would post a blog post all about the Spoon Story (my version) – and said I’d post it in two weeks time.  Well…. it’s now three weeks (or a bit more), but real life and a poorly doggy have got in the way, but, as the saying goes,  ‘better late than never’, eh?

Thank you so much for coming and for taking time out of your day to spend a coffee moment with me.  Your company is very much appreciated. . .  but then … you know that already.  😉  

May you have a blessed rest of your day, and a truly lovely week.

Sending you much love and a whole bundle of squidges ~

Sig coffee copy

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45 Comments

  1. Oh goodness this is perfect. What a grand way of explaining .
    I have been a little concerned I might have missed a blog or two but can’t complain because I seem to have lost my way in blog land. There have been such wonderful blogs and I have reblogged some of them because ya’ll do it so much better than I.
    I realy need to rethink why I blog because things do change and I don’t think my ‘goal’ has ever been numbers…. Besides this is money making month at LA and I am keeping the three little girls so their mom can do her part at the school.( there is a reason why God gave children to younger people and younger grands normally follow) I may need a few weeks of ‘leave me alone’ time.
    Love you Cob…take care of yourself…xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Beverly 🙂 always a big joy to see you here.

      You have taken on three of your granddaughters??? Phew! flipping heck. You’re going to be like a worn out pencil at the moment it’s time to hand them back! I agree, you really will need a ‘leave me alone’ time – just to get your ears back to normal, if nothing else! If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from having Little Cobs come to visit is that he L.O.V.E.S. the sound of his own voice and likes to share his every thought, every sound, and fill every possible quiet moment, even if it’s only with blowing raspberries over and over. (that one drives me nuts after he’s got the first 50 of them out into the open! sigh). lol.

      I’ve been MIA from Blogland for about three weeks, so no, you haven’t missed anything here. Life does have this tendency to throw a fast ball just when you’ve made a plan of what you’re doing. Plus the dog has been poorly.

      She developed a cough, which got worse. Visit to the vet required her being taken in 48 hours later and anaesthetised so that they could do some X-rays of her throat, as it sounds (and she behaves) as if she either has something stuck in her throat or has some sort of growth.

      The X-rays didn’t really show anything that the vets could see, so now she’s on medication – tablets of Penicillin and a daily does of a medicine given to her via a syringe, which is an anti-inflammatory, which the vet has given to her to help bring down any inflammation in her throat.

      Personally … I can’t see any improvement. She’s back a the vets tomorrow, and I have no idea what the next thing is that they’re going to suggest.

      She’s 14.5 years old, and I love her to pieces. But I fear what this might be. I’ve done the only and very best thing I can do in this ‘situation’ – I’ve asked the Lord for His help.

      Thank you so much for coming and sharing some time with me, Bev. Especially when you have your hands over-flowing with ‘busy’.
      Love you heaps. Sending buckets of squidges your way ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Rose Elaine. It’s fabulous to see you 🙂

      The use of the spoons was such a great way of using something we all have tucked in a drawer and take for granted, but which, in the great scheme of things, isn’t really that important. But making them a ‘currency’ suddenly changes them and makes them precious in a way that everyone the world over can ‘see’ and understand.

      You’re right, Rose Elaine, people really do take good health for granted.

      Thank you so much for coming, and for taking the time to leave a comment. It’s lovely to chat with you and share a coffee moment.
      Wishing you a blessed rest of your day and sending squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Cobs, thanks for finding the time to do this lovely post. I have shared it on my FB page. You have described it so eloquently. I do hope the poorly pup is feeling a lot better and that you are also OK. I’m out of action with broken bones in my hand. I’ll be in touch when it’s a bit easier to type with more than two fingers 😦
    Much love and hugs
    Kay xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Kay! Aw, tis lovely to see you.
      I promised I’d make a post and here it is. Bit later than I hoped, but better late than never.

      Thank you SO much for sharing this on you FB page. I don’t ‘do’ FB so don’t reach as many lovely folks as I would love to. So you sharing this post is truly a beautiful wonderment to me, because between us now, we can reach out to more folks and perhaps help them to explain in an easy, simple way, how their invisible illness affects them.

      You’re out of action with broken bones in your hand??? 😮

      What the dickens have you done?! The last thing I knew you had wrong with your hand was a sore thumb – which you thought might be arthritis. So what on earth has happened that you’ve broken some bones in your hand?!

      I know you can’t type and answer right now …. it’s just me talking out loud and wondering what the dickens you’ve been up to, to break your hand. I am happy to wait in order to find out what you did which caused your injury.
      But . . . in the meantime … stay safe. Wear sturdy shoes. Get someone to take up all the rugs in your home so that it removes any tripping accidents. You need to be wrapped in cotton wool, I reckon!

      Take very good care of yourself Kay.
      Sending heaps of loving wishes for a fast improvement of the hand, and being back in working action as soon as possible.
      Buckets of love and squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

      1. Hi Cobs, a short reply as I’ve just finished typing up my crochet blog with the broken hand info (basically me being clumsy!) and now my hand is very sore.

        It’s lovely to hear from you and I’ve already had responses and shares from the FB post, so yes, between us we’re getting the message out there.

        I’ll be back when the hand is better 🙂

        In the meantime, love and hugs back to you … Kay xxx

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovey Anna 🙂
      Aw, not sure about me being “amazing” … I reckon with only one brain cell, amazing might be stretching it a bit. lol. Bless your beautiful heart.

      Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee moment with me.
      I send my very best wishes to your mum, and am sending a bucket of love and squidges to you Anna. ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

  3. Bless your Beautiful heart Cobs. The spoon theory is a great explanation of chronic illnesses. My cousin was a spoonie with Lupus and MS, ( a double spoonie) My Sister in law is a spoonie with Fibro and I won’t take my health for granted and grateful for each new day. Thank you for sharing this with us all. Not everyone understands for sure! My thoughts and prayers are continuous with you and your family. Your Pup, I sure hope the vet gets to the bottom of the problem and your sweet girl isn’t in pain. I was at the vet every other day in August tryin to get them to find and answer to our kitty’s problem. Great to see you lovely! I would give you all my spoons! XX Much love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello beautiful Ruthie! I was thinking about you just a couple of days ago.

      Your cousin … MS and Lupus! Sometimes things in life just don’t make sense, and your cousin having that double whammy is one of those things. Life must feel very unfair to her sometimes. But she, I bet, gets the most out of days when and where she can. Bless her.

      Your Sister-in-law with Fibro . . . there’s nothing funny about Fibro, as I know personally. It took me years to finally get a diagnosis on what the heck was going wrong with my body, and although I got a diagnosis, my doctor is still reserving the right to think in other directions because some things just make him feel that something else is going on. (sigh).

      The dog – She’s back at the vets tomorrow, and we’ll see what happens from here.
      If wishes came true she would last forever – or at the very least until I am called home, and then she could come with me. I love her to pieces. She’s a funny old thing and makes me smile.

      Thank you so much for coming Ruthie, and for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment. It gives me the chance to chat with you – which is just wonderful.

      Sending you heaps of love and a big bucket of squidges. ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

  4. Cobs Cobs Cobs, I know right where you are with you little doggie. Yesterday was the two year mark for the loss of Bea, she was 12 and developed liver disease which made her have a bunch of seizures, then when she had two pretty good ones within 1/2 hour I knew it was time. It was very hard as on the way to the vet she was looking out her window watching the world go by as she did. She loved looking out the windows in the car and at home.
    Then of course Stan only weeks ago. August 7th was another very difficult day. They take a part of our hearts when they leave us and it still doesn’t seem fair somehow that they leave so soon. The heartbreak is unbearable for days, but finding our new normal we can think only of the happy times and there were plenty.
    I could go on and on about my fur babies, but it’s yours that is suffering at the moment and I do hope she finds relief. Coughing eh, mine contracted kennel cough and it sounds horrible but your vet may have thought about that. They can contract that virus from the ground or water dish or…, sniffing where others have been. I’m not sure how long the virus can live for outside the body.
    “Any dog can get kennel cough, but puppies and unvaccinated dogs are at a greater risk. Kennel cough causes a persistent, nonproductive cough that may sound as if something is caught in your pet’s throat and they are gagging or trying to clear their throat. Others describe it as a deep honking cough. Symptoms usually develop three to ten days after exposure to an infected animal. Animals with kennel cough will otherwise act and eat normally. Exercise or getting excited can make symptoms worse.”
    Took that paragraph from:
    pethealthnetwork.com/dog-health/dog-diseases-conditions-a-z/kennel-cough-signs-and-symptoms
    It’s a pretty good website. Anyway I do hope she can be helped.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Soozy
      I too hope she can be helped, for I fear what it is that I’m worried it could be. But.. the vets know their job so I’m putting my trust in them.

      We do so love our four legged members of our families, don’t we. But … we are never ever prepared to lose them. It seems like just a few months ago that I went and picked my baby out of a litter of fabulous puppies. She stole my heart and I came home with her. I can’t believe that she’s 14.5 years old already. I must have slept through roughly three quarters of her life because I swear she’s only about 3.5 yrs. old!
      Time passes by so quickly.

      Thank you for coming Soozy, and for taking the time to chat.
      Sending love ~ Cobs.xxx

      Like

  5. I wasn’t finished! Hit the wrong button I guess. I also wanted to add that your explanation of chronic anything is a good one. I wasn’t quite following at first but then you explained and I totally can understand. Dealing with chronic pain myself, I get it. Now to put insult to injury, I have to find a doctor. My office is closing the end of December. “Happy New Year” right? Doctors are leaving Victoria, well the island period and moving on to greener pastures or just retiring. We have lost so many clinics here that once this one closes, the three others in the Victoria area will become impossible to get a visit in. It is BAD. I really don’t know what the solution is other that the government pay them more money or give more incentive of sorts to keep them here.
    I do hope you can find some relief Cobs, pain is not nice and leaves one exhausted at times, no oomph in the step. The pep is gone. 😦 Sending you healing light for yourself and your wee dog. She has lead a good life with you at the cottage and she knows you love her. Good luck at the vet again tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL … aw the times I’ve clicked to post a comment when I actually hadn’t finished typing the comment!

      Coo, sorry to hear about your doctors office closing. With all of your doctors leaving the island I can see why everyone must be getting very worried about the situation. Having to spend time travelling, and having to travel quite a distance, if you don’t feel well, would be just awful. But if you have a condition where you have to have regular appointments, then not having a local doctor will cost a fortune in petrol or travel fares and add to the stress of whatever is wrong. That’s not a great situation and I hope something can be sorted out for you all very soon which will put this problem right again.

      Glad to hear that you ‘got’ the story of the spoons in the end.
      Thank you for the healing light for both myself, and my fabulous dog.
      Sending you love and squidges. ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

    1. Hello Heather, and, of course, the delightful Dizzy. 🙂

      12 is an easy number to deal with when trying to explain the spoon story. Ten too few. Fourteen too many and it becomes too detailed to try and explain how quickly you run out of energy. 12 just seems to work better. I think (if I remember rightly) that Christine Miserandino the lady of the Spoon Theory, used 12 spoons on her friend as well. So I think we’re all finding that 12 is the number which helps us explain it in just the right way.

      Thank you so much for coming Hannah, and bringing the lovely Dizzy with you. Seeing you both is such a joy.
      Sending you much love and a donkey sized bucket of squidges – with a few gingernut biscuits hidden in there too. ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right, any more and it would just start to get too complicated! And 12 is one of my favourite numbers too. 🙂
        Dizzy sends her thanks, she’s already found the ginger nut biscuits!! 🙂 And sends lots of donkey hugs. 🙂 xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello Cobs, how wonderful of you to put this story out there for us to read and understand, and I truly hope you didn’t use all your spoons up! I just wanted to say, you are always welcome to some of my spoons, if only I could share with you, I gladly would give you oodles! Stay strong, and I look forward to reading about the beautiful rack of spoons! Hugs 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Kim 🙂
      Aww, it lovely to see you.
      Glad you liked and ‘got’ the Spoon Story. Bless you for the offer of spoons. Your kindness is such a huge part of you and part of what makes you so lovely.

      I was thinking about you last night and wondering if you’ve finally got your craft room the way you would like it to be. I know only too well that feeling of not having a proper up and running craft room, after having to leave your much love craft room/space behind. Where we had a place for everything and knew exactly where that place was. It was almost like a magic trick! lol.

      Thank you so much for coming Kim. It’s really lovely to see you. Thank you also for taking the time to stay and leave a comment. Bless your heart.
      Sending much love to you, plus a bundle of squidges ~ Cobs. xxx ❤

      Like

  7. that was one entertaining lesson-dear Cobs, I want you to have all the spoons, all the time-I love you so dearly. Have I somehow missed what you are dealing with? I knew you had some health issues, but not clear on what. I will say, I have had a lot of things going on for months -all at once – and all will settle in time. Maybe I am getting mixed up-either way you are my dear friend and I am always your loving rabbit

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Rabbit, great to see you, as always. 🙂 😀
      Well … the Story of the Spoons, as I’ve told it here, is my way of telling the Spoon Theory, written many moons ago by a lady called Christine Miserandino, who has Lupus.

      Christine was one day out with a friend having a bite to eat and was surprised when her friend asked her what it was like to have Lupus. The friend was one of her oldest friends who Christine thought knew practically everything there was to know about Lupus because she’d been to medical appointments with Christine and they’d spent hours, days, with each other she’d been there when Christine felt really poorly sometimes.

      Christine tried to explain how her illness affected her, but her friend just didn’t seem able to connect with what she was being told. So Christine tried to find ways of explaining … and quite by accident, she came up with the idea of using something so simple – spoons – to try to explain how her illness affected her and how any chronic illness affected anyone, anywhere. The friend, seeing how the spoons theory worked, GOT IT!

      From the moment I read it I thought it was brilliant. Since that time I’ve used it to help others either describe their own problems they suffer with their own chronic illness’, and also to help others understand my problems.

      The Story of the Spoons, as written here, isn’t really about me per se, but I posted it here as the result of a conversation I had with two bloggers. I promised that I would do a proper post so that they or anyone reading could use the story themselves to either explain their own struggles, or to understand someone else’s illness, OR … to help someone else understand their own illness and even explain to their family and friends how their illness affects them so that they ‘get it’ too.

      As for me and the things I’m ‘dealing with’ . . . well, I have a lower spinal injury which was the result of an RTA some years ago, and causes problems in walking, standing for too long, steps, stairs and ramps, and my body experiences mixed up messages from the spinal column, and it does other ridiculous other things which I won’t bother going into because I don’t want this to turn into a pity party for Cobs. (Heaven forbid!) [wrinkles nose].

      Just to add in case you missed it when I shared this a few months ago . . . after years of some very odd things starting to happen, and me asking the doctors over and over about these things and receiving no positive explanation about what, why, how? … I continually blamed the spinal problems for these strange things, and the complete exhaustion after doing the most simple things (even just taking a shower had sent me back to bed for five hours once), and, (a thing I hated with a passion), my inability to ‘map’. I couldn’t seem to remember how to get to or from places in the car. For the last 7 years I’ve been unable to go out in the car by myself because I can get lost at the drop of a hat, or if there are road-works and they’ve re-routed the traffic, I’m stuck on the side of a road somewhere, blubbering like a baby and unable to get home!

      . . . I, completely by accident, saw a doctor who looked at all of these things and worked out that although I had the spinal problem, (and arthritis since my teens) there was another thing which was going on and causing some of these distressing things, and he diagnosed Fibromyalgia (a disease of the central nervous system).

      My own doctor confirmed that he’d been thinking along these lines, and although he agreed that I have this, he also said that there are a couple of things which he thinks might be something else. (So still not quite sorted, but getting there – yay!)

      I’ve tried to put that in a nutshell … but I do ramble. LOL. [sigh]

      The only bit of the Spoon Story written it here on my blog which relates to some of the things which I experience daily, are the details written in blue type, in two indented paragraphs towards the end. I needed to try and give a reader a set of problems which they could relate to and it was easier to tell some of the truth than to try and make something up.

      But … I repeat … this isn’t a pity party. I’m just explaining, not complaining. I never say “Why me?”, because I know that if I did, the answer would come back: “If not you, then who?” . . . and I’m not in a position of choosing anyone else, so I’d rather ‘man up’ (as the saying goes) and deal with it. It’s life, and my life is blessed in millions of ways. AND . . . I have great friends like you! What’s there to be sad about? 😀

      I hope I’ve answered with as much information as is required in order to ‘fill you in’. But if there’s anything more you want to know just ask away.

      Rabbit … don’t ever change. Everything about you makes you the incredible person you are, and I love the person you are.
      I know how busy you’ve been, and how busy you are, AND how busy you’re going to be too. Plus … when you’re following lots of blogs it’s easy to get mixed up sometimes. I know I do it all the time. It’s normally names – I will tap out the name of another blogger and get it wrong. Hate it when I do that. grrr!

      Thank you so much for coming Rabbit, and for taking the time to chat. LOVE chatting with you my wonderful friend. ~ Cobs. xxx

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  8. Dear Cobs, thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt aspect of your life. Although I’m sure what I experience is nothing compared to what you must cope with, I do have an invisible disability which is quite manageable but could at any time become much worse and change my life. Although I try not to dwell on it, and just get on with things, it’s always a concern that other people just don’t see; and the people who do know about it tend to forget. So I absolutely love your spoon story; it’s a wonderful explanation and viewpoint. Here’s wishing you many, many spoons overflowing with love and happiness!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello GillyFlower 😀 Great to see you!
      The Story of the Spoons is just a version of The Spoon Theory which was written quite a while ago by a lady called Christine Miserandino, who has Lupus. The Spoon Theory was her way of explaining to a friend, and to others, how her illness affected her and her energy levels.

      I just told the story my way, so that I could share this idea with others who, like you, had a hidden illness and might need some way of explaining to people why they couldn’t go to the cinema, or visit them for a coffee morning, Tupperware party, or some such thing like those.

      It’s also a great way of helping a ‘sufferer’ (of whatever the problem is) explain to their family and friends too.

      It honestly (cross my heart and pinky promise) isn’t a pity party for Cobs. Think of it more as a guide to help anyone who actually doesn’t look ill, but most certainly feels it, because of a hidden illness.

      Gilly, don’t compare yourself to anyone else suffering with an illness, as your illness is different from anyone elses. It’s like a huge spectrum of colour. Your own personal colour is just as important than any other colour, it’s just different because it’s yours. But it’s just as valid.

      I dearly hope that your condition doesn’t get any worse. But … if it does, you must promise that you will see your doctor and even take 12 spoons with you if you feel that the Spoon Story will help you explain it. Don’t just tell the doctor one thing which is ‘going wrong’ … make a full list and give him/her the list so that he/she can actually *see* all the problems in one go. Which is what I did, hence the reason it perhaps took so long for someone to see everything as a whole. I gave my doctor the ingredients of a cake, but by the time I’d got to the Method – the ingredients had got lost in time, so it took a new doctor to see them all at once – and then the cake was made! (if you follow what I mean here. lol)

      Thank you so much for coming Gilly, and for taking the time to chat. A chat over a coffee is such a wonderful thing to be blessed with.
      Sending much love and a load of squidges to you ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my dear Cobs. What a lovely explanation of how someone (including you) have such a difficult time just getting through the day. So many of us just take for granted the ease with which we can move about doing simple everyday tasks. I could visualize a day with limited energy and the fear of not being able to accomplish all that you need to.
    I’m so sorry about your pup. It is so hard as they are members of our family. They are our constant companions that don’t ask for much from us. They are always there to brighten our day, especially when we have had a bad one. They seem to have a 6th sense about our moods and needs. I know when our dear Jiff developed a kidney problem we knew he was suffering, even though he tried not to show it. My husband took him to the vet while I was at work, and unfortunately, he never came home. I was so upset as I never really got to say good-bye. Such a terrible day. I so wish there was some way, as you say, for our babies to stay with us on this earth and follow us when we depart. It is so hard to part with them after so many years. Hopefully, you will have several more years to enjoy your fur baby.
    Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Nancee. Fantastic to see you, my lovely blogging friend. 🙂
      Aw, I think we all take things for granted and I’m no different. I think the thing for me which upsets me most is the inability to drive the car and go somewhere by myself. I no longer ‘map’, and so can get lost easily. Even visiting the town centre, I can completely forget the way to get back to *that lift* which I used from the car park to get to the right level for the opticians! Useless, totally useless.

      I feared, for the longest time, that I had Alzheimers or early dementia – but no. (thankfully!) It’s all part of the problems. I do now though have a car which has an all singing, all talking computer on board which I can talk to and it will do things that help. Even if I wanted a coffee shop, I only have to ask it and it gives me a whole selection of coffee shops to choose from. I just touch one on the screen and it instantly gives me instructions to get somewhere, and talks me through the route like a Sat Nav. Also talks to my phone, can send messages at the touch of a finger, and can talk me through an unknown route to take me home. I just have to learn to trust it . . . which I don’t quite just yet, but I’m getting there. AND … (biggest one) … I have to try and remember how to use the darn thing. LOLOL.

      My dog … well she was back at the vets yesterday, and they still can’t work out what it is which is giving her this bad cough. They’ve given me 5 options from 1) – ‘It could be dangerous but doing *this* might tell us what’s wrong’ – down to – 5) – ‘we could try *this*, and it isn’t dangerous’.

      She’s 14.5 years old, and as the vet said himself, already past the age that they average a dog of her breed will live to, so she’s already doing very well. But she has some problems, and I don’t want to put her through a long session of anaesthetic in order for them to try more things to attempt a cough diagnosis, for in doing so, at her age, could prove to be devastating.

      So, summing up … I chose the mildest option of trying a different course of antibiotics to see if the cough responds to those.
      I am pinning my hopes on this new antibiotic.

      She’s an incredible little dog and I love her to pieces.
      You hit the nail on the head when you say it’s so hard to part with them after so many years. I don’t feel I’ve loved Belle nearly enough yet. I have huge pockets of love for her which are hidden all around my heart yet to be discovered. I need to love her a whole lot more for a whole lot more years to come. She’s quite simply a brilliant, amazing, adorable, little fat dog, and so precious to me.

      Thank you so much for coming Nancee and for sharing your painful loss. I agree, I wish there were some way for our babies to stay with us on this earth and follow us when we are called home. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful solution to an age old heart ache.

      Sending you many hugs, heaps of love and a whole big bundle of squidges, today and always ~ Cobs. xxx

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  10. Oh Cobs….you have described it so accurately. When I read taking a shower in the morning using spoons I knew you were right. I am slowly using less spoons to do that! I can at least stand in the shower now without tipping over.
    I am going to have to find myself some spare spoons and make a rack. I love that idea!
    I hope you GAIN spoons every day in your health journey. It does make life a challenge. I have a feeling that like me ….you use humor to get you through. Prayers and love going your way Cobs!! ~ CG

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    1. Hello my wonderful Chicken!
      Aww, see, I KNEW you’d get this Spoon Story. As I was writing it you popped into my mind and I realised that I was talking directly to you.
      Because of the awful struggles you’ve been having with your health and the shocking Nile illness which put you in hospital, and has left you feeling waaay less than your normal self, I knew that the Spoon Story described what you’ve been feeling.

      It’s such a great way of ‘showing’ someone near and dear to you, friends and family, exactly how life is for you and the problems you’re having deal with.

      Standing in the shower without tipping over . . . it’s lots of ‘fun’, isn’t it? LOL I most certainly can relate! :/

      I LOVE that you want to find some spare spoons and make a rack. Seeing it hanging there, is a great reminder of how you need to pace yourself, and also like a team of supporters standing on the sideline, cheering you on. I have no idea how or why it works – for me, at least, but it just does and I love it.

      I’m hoping to get some close up photographs posted in a new blog post, later today, so it might give you some inspiration to decorate a couple, or even all of your spoons. But .. leaving them just as they are is great too. It all works. 😀

      Thank you for your lovely wishes, Chicken, and know that I am sending you the exact same things.
      May God bless and keep you, and may your health return, even in small bites, until you feel like your normal self once again.

      Thank you so much for coming and for taking the time and spending a spoon to leave a message.

      Sending much love and a whole bunch of squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

  11. I do hope Belle recovers and that you have many more years to share with her! She sounds so much like our Jiffy….amazing, adorable, little fat dog. LOL!
    My car also has the “computer” on board and connects to my phone. It is so helpful when you are out and about by yourself! It was great on our vacation as there were no “arguments” with my other half on which way to go…she told us which way! It saved a lot of “words”. LOL! I love how helpful they can be!
    Well, I’m off to try to do some crafting….much needed crafting! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amazing, adorable, little fat dogs … just the best sorts! 😀

      Those on-board computers are brilliant, aren’t they?!!! The only problem is remembering how they work when you need them to. (I’m the owner of a memory which is obviously full of carp, because it won’t remember things which I want it to remember! Grrr!)

      You’ve hit the nail on the head – no arguments about which way to go with the computer in the car. PERFECT!

      Crafting …. music to my ears. Go do it Nancee!
      Much love ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  12. First, so sorry to read that your dog is poorly.

    I have heard of ‘spoonie’ relating to health problems but never quite understood the reference until today. It is a great way of explaining coping daily with chronic illness. I can see this metaphor extending beyond chronic pain too ; my sister with M.E and my autistic children and myself (I have ‘difficulties’ with suspected OCD – I have never followed up on my GPS advice of help as he told me its was useless) and life is draining in a way that I couldn’t explain but the spoon theory sums it up perfectly with different ways of using my spoons.

    Thank you Cobs for sharing. Hxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Hannah 😀
      The Spoon Story is such a fantastic way of explaining health related illness’ which affect how things work for ‘you’ – and because it’s so simple to explain, and the use of spoons makes it easy to relate to, people just seem to ‘get it’.

      When I first learnt about it, I loved it straight away. It made me want to ‘build’ my own set of spoon to hang on the wall, kind of like a decorative reminder to myself that if things got difficult on any given day,then the spoons told me why. But because I’d made them personal, and so decorative, they don’t look like a medical explanation. They look like something arty and there to be simply decorative. It’s quite lovely how visitors all seem to notice the spoons and actually get up close and look at each one in turn. There is alway some ‘ooohing’ and ‘ahhhhing’, and everyone seems to have their own personal favourite. I really love the spoons.

      Your sister would definitely be helped to explain her problems that she has as a sufferer of ME, and I can see that the spoon story would even help your children to understand their own problems, because (guessing here), the situation they are dealing with must be dreadfully frustrating to them if they don’t understand why they can sometimes feel so ‘rubbish’ or even get ratty, when their condition is under the microscope and really playing up.

      Your OCD … y’know, I’m firmly of the belief that we all have an OCD of some sort or other, so you’re not alone Hannah. If the spoons work in helping you too, then that’s brilliant. The more people who can use this and find their much needed help, to both explain their problems, and help to understand them, themselves, the better.

      I’m thrilled you found this interesting Hannah and especially so that it might help so many members of your family.

      Thank you so much for coming.
      Sending much love ~ Cobs. xxx

      Like

  13. This is such an apt metaphor. I keep thinking of things like: for me, my spoons expire at 6 pm. So any I have I had better use by 6:00. A short afternoon nap may give me a couple more but, otherwise, I use my spoons by dinner time. Tomorrow I will be doing my own post on the spoon theory on my blog aergiasdaughter.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that you found this useful and so much so that you’re going to be making your own blog post about it and spreading the word.

      Lovely to meet you Brendablagdon, and thrilled that you’ve become a follower.

      I shall be visiting your blog for a read!

      Have a blessed rest of your day my lovely blogging friend. ~ Cobs. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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