Aaaaand …. it’s Friday again. They roll around as regular as clockwork, don’t they?! They turn up, uninvited and then stick around for a whole 24 hours! Crumbs, if that was someone who was being a pest and kept coming round to see you, you’d soon begin to hide behind the sofa when they knocked on the door! But Friday is always welcome. Maybe it’s because it’s a gift. What do you think?
Anyhoo … we’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week, so put on your full armour. With your breastplate in place. Take up your shield, and, wearing your helmet, your sword at your side, gird your loins . . . and . . . we shall begin with . . .
Doris Day.
I’ve been in the mood for a lovely Doris Day film (or films) for weeks. Every week, when Mr. Cobs comes home from the newsagents on a Saturday morning with the coming weeks TV schedule magazine, I’ve looked through it in the hope of finding a Doris Day film, but none was to be found.
I checked out the scheduling on the TV – and even done a ‘search’ on the TV Menu bit, to see if her name threw anything up. It did. YAY!! FINALLY! However it gave me two movies that I’d have to pay for to watch.
Now a Doris Day movie or two are normally there somewhere … so what the heck’s going on? We have twenty million channels (ok. that might be a bit of an exaggeration) … we have enough channels to sink a ship (no, possibly not, but you get what I’m saying here), so why can I only find two Doris Day films, on Netflix, (which we’re not members of) where I’d have to pay to watch those two films? I mean to say.. it’s DORIS DAY for goodness sake!! They (the TV folks) put Ms.D. Day films on (normally) all the time. They fill spaces with them. So why can’t they fill some spaces for me dogam it?!! Grrrrrrrr!!!
Well just to spite ’em, I’m going out tomorrow and going to buy as many Doris Day DVD’s as I can and I’ll watch them all day, every day if I want to. pffft! Stuff the TV channels. pffft.
I learned this week . . . . That Al Capone’s Business Card said that he was a Used Furniture Dealer. This new-found knowledge has led me to think that I should get my cat (he’s called Alf Capone – in case you didn’t know) an extra collar tag with that engraved on it. [giggling like mad at the thought] . . . Imagine it …. A cat with an engraved metal tag . . . . saying that the cat’s a ‘Used Furniture Dealer’! [still giggling myself silly]
I also learned . . . . That a Dragonfly has a lifespan of approximately 6 months. That’s, of course, presuming that other cat here at The Cobweborium (Princess Tippitoes Maisie Dotes) doesn’t catch it first.
She’s an ever so teeny tiny cat, but she’s a Dragonfly Slayer. I don’t think she actually means to kill them, and in fact I don’t think SHE herself, does. But she does bring them home, . . they’re so quick-moving, and they make an attractive noise to her, and they are a little sparkly in sunshine, – so as far as she’s concerned, they were made just for HER.
However, when she brings them home, her brother, Alf Capone – Used Furniture Dealer, then steals them from her (if I don’t get there first) and sadly . . . he does ‘the deed’.
I’ve found out this week (and so ‘learned this week’) that a snail can sleep for 3 years. Now if this is true … WHY DON’T THE BALLY SNAILS IN MY GARDEN SLEEP FOR 3 YEARS AND LEAVE MY PLANTS AND FLOWERS ALONE???! (I shall be talking to God about this when I chat with him later, and, I can confide in you, that I’m a bit grumpy about this matter. A very bit grumpy indeed!).
I learned a very important Life Lesson this week too: …. – after a long break from using my BIG BEASTY sewing/embroidery machine I got the (bloomin’ heavy) machine out (well actually no, that’s a lie. It’s too heavy so Mr. Cobs has to get the machine out, and put it up onto the table for me), I set it up, take half an hour to remember how to thread the machine so that it self threads the needle … then remember how to select all the settings; then get the right presser foot; double-check that I’ve got the right colour in my bobbin . . . and FINALLY set to in the sewing . . . AND THEN . . . just two flowers into the stitching and feeling a warm happy feeling thinking that I’d ‘still got it’ . . . just at that point where the glow of happiness was surrounding me like a golden, heavenly halo and I could almost hear the Angels singing, . . . . . S.N.A.P.!
The ‘rasser frazzer grisser bazzer’ needle breaks and I find I don’t have any spare ones left.
[great BIG s.i.g.h]. It’s now 7.45pm and the shops where I could get a box of needles from are all now closed for the night. I had to un-thread the needle, and put away the cotton back in the cottons box. Then sadly put away of all the bits and pieces of my machine, and hope that I can get some spare needles in the right size in a couple of days time, so that I can do it all over again. [double sighs and thinks of as many great BIG swear words as possible… just doesn’t say them]. The moral to this tale is: To always go and buy new needles for your sewing machine the moment you use the LAST BUT ONE needle. Don’t wait. Don’t think that you have one needle left and that you have loads of time to buy a new pack. Go straight away and buy new needles, because if you don’t, the minute you put that very last needle into you machine . . . S.N.A.P.! Then where will you be?
And finally …
I’ve learnt this week that Tesco own brand of ‘Easy Seal Ice Cube Bags’ – those bags which you fill with water, put into the freezer and they turn that water into individual ice cubes, ‘those’ bags. Well I found out this week that they’re suitable for use in the freezer! That’s a bit of luck, isn’t it?!!
I’ve learnt quite a lot this week…. can you tell I’m more cleverer than I actwally woz last week? 🙂
Oh .. Oh … I nearly forgot … I learned that you should always leave folks laughing .. so with that in mind I thought I’d do my best cheesy jokes … get ready ’cause these are my bestest ever:-
There was an explosion in the Cheese Factory! . . . There was de Brie everywhere!
What did the Queen say when a man threw cheese at her? . . . “How dairy!”
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced? . . . Because he had grater plans.
How do you handle dangerous cheese? . . . Caerphilly.
Which Cheese is made backwards? . . . think about that one and I’ll tell you in a minute.
What kind of cheese would you use to try to disguise a small horse? . . . Mascarpone.
Which cheese would you use if you wanted to coax a bear down from a tree? . . . Camembert.
How did Mr. Cheese paint his wife? . . . He Double Gloucester. (for those outside of the UK, you say Gloucester like this: Glosster. now say the answer to the joke again and you’ll get it then). Link: Gloucester Cheeses
And finally .. back to Which Cheese is made backwards? . . . the answer is … Edam. Get it?
Have a truly fabulous Friday. I hope that today leaves you feeling happy, tired, and ready for a nice weekend doing something you enjoy. Remember to make a memory along the way.
Look after each other. Be kind. Try to make someone happy. And … whatever you’re doing and where ever you go, may your God go with you.
Blessings, my friends ~
The Art of Cobwebs 