Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Aaaaand   ….  it’s Friday again.  They roll around as regular as clockwork, don’t they?!  They turn up, uninvited and then stick around for a whole 24 hours!  Crumbs, if that was someone who was being a pest and kept coming round to see you, you’d soon begin to hide behind the sofa when they knocked on the door!  But Friday is always welcome.  Maybe it’s because it’s a gift.  What do you think? 


Anyhoo …  we’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week, so put on your full armour. With your breastplate in place.  Take up your shield, and, wearing your helmet, your sword at your side,  gird your loins  . . .   and  . . .   we shall begin with  . . .


Doris Day.

I’ve been in the mood for a lovely Doris Day film (or films) for weeks.  Every week, when Mr. Cobs comes home from the newsagents on a Saturday morning with the coming weeks TV schedule magazine, I’ve looked through it in the hope of finding a Doris Day film, but none was to be found.

I checked out the scheduling on the TV – and even done a ‘search’ on the TV Menu bit, to see if her name threw anything up.  It did. YAY!!  FINALLY!  However it gave me two movies that I’d have to pay for to watch.

Now a Doris Day movie or two are normally there somewhere so what the heck’s going on?  We have twenty million channels  (ok.  that might be a bit of an exaggeration) … we have enough channels to sink a ship (no, possibly not, but you get what I’m saying here), so why can I only find two Doris Day films, on Netflix, (which we’re not members of) where I’d have to pay to watch those two films?  I mean to say..  it’s DORIS DAY for goodness sake!!  They (the TV folks) put Ms.D. Day films on (normally) all the time.  They fill spaces with them.  So why can’t they fill some spaces for me dogam it?!!   Grrrrrrrr!!!

Well just to spite ’em, I’m going out tomorrow and going to buy as many Doris Day DVD’s as I can and I’ll watch them all day, every day if I want to.  pffft!  Stuff the TV channels.  pffft.


I learned this week . . . .  That Al Capone’s Business Card said that he was a Used Furniture Dealer.   This new-found knowledge has led me to think that I should get my cat (he’s called Alf Capone – in case you didn’t know) an extra collar tag with that engraved on it. [giggling like mad at the thought]  . . .    Imagine it ….   A cat with an engraved metal tag  . . . .  saying that the cat’s   a ‘Used Furniture Dealer’!    [still giggling myself silly]

Alf Capone (in hiding).   Used Furniture Dealer

I also learned   . . . .  That a Dragonfly has a lifespan of approximately 6 months.  That’s, of course, presuming that other cat here at The Cobweborium (Princess Tippitoes Maisie Dotes) doesn’t catch it first.

She’s an ever so teeny tiny cat, but she’s a Dragonfly Slayer.  I don’t think she actually means to kill them,  and in fact I don’t think SHE herself, does.  But she does bring them home,  . .  they’re so quick-moving,  and they make an attractive noise to her,  and they are a little sparkly in sunshine,  – so as far as she’s concerned, they were made just for HER.

However, when she brings them home, her brother, Alf Capone – Used Furniture Dealer, then steals them from her  (if I don’t get there first)  and sadly . . .  he does ‘the deed’.

Princess Maisie Dotes,  on Fairy Watching Duty.

I’ve found out this week (and so ‘learned this week’)  that a snail can sleep for 3 years.  Now if this is true … WHY DON’T THE BALLY SNAILS IN MY GARDEN SLEEP FOR 3 YEARS AND LEAVE MY PLANTS AND FLOWERS ALONE???!  (I shall be talking to God about this when I chat with him later, and, I can confide in you, that I’m a bit grumpy about this matter.  A very bit grumpy indeed!).

I learned a very important Life Lesson this week too:  ….   –  after a long break from using my BIG BEASTY sewing/embroidery machine  I got the (bloomin’ heavy) machine out (well actually no, that’s a lie.  It’s too heavy so Mr. Cobs has to get the machine out,  and put it up onto the table for me), I set it up, take half an hour to remember how to thread the machine so that it self threads the needle … then remember how to select all the settings;  then get the right presser foot;  double-check that I’ve got the right colour in my bobbin . . . and FINALLY set to in the sewing   . . .  AND THEN . . .  just two flowers into the stitching and feeling a warm happy feeling thinking that I’d ‘still got it’ . . . just at that point where the glow of happiness was surrounding me like a golden, heavenly halo and I could almost hear the Angels singing,   . . . . .  S.N.A.P.!

The ‘rasser frazzer grisser bazzer’ needle breaks and I find I don’t have any spare ones left.

[great  BIG  s.i.g.h].  It’s now 7.45pm and the shops where I could get a box of needles from are all now closed for the night.   I had to un-thread the needle, and put away the cotton back in the cottons box.  Then sadly put away of all the bits and pieces of my machine, and hope that I can get some spare needles in the right size in a couple of days time, so that I can do it all over again.  [double sighs and thinks  of as many great BIG swear words as possible… just doesn’t say them].  The moral to this tale is:  To always go and buy new needles for your sewing machine the moment you use the LAST BUT ONE needle.  Don’t wait.  Don’t think that you have one needle left and that you have loads of time to buy a new pack.  Go straight away and buy new needles, because if you don’t, the minute you put that very last needle into you machine  . . .   S.N.A.P.!  Then where will you be?

 And finally …


I’ve learnt this week that Tesco own brand of ‘Easy Seal Ice Cube Bags’ – those bags which you fill with water, put into the freezer and they turn that water into individual ice cubes, ‘those’ bags.   Well I found out this week that they’re suitable for use in the freezer!  That’s a bit of luck, isn’t it?!!

I’ve learnt quite a lot this week….  can you tell I’m more cleverer than I actwally woz last week?  🙂

Oh .. Oh … I nearly forgot …  I learned that you should always leave folks laughing .. so with that in mind I thought I’d do my best cheesy jokes … get ready ’cause these are my bestest ever:-

There was an explosion in the Cheese Factory! . . .  There was de Brie everywhere!

What did the Queen say when a man threw cheese at her?   . . .   “How dairy!”

Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?   . . .   Because he had grater plans.

How do you handle dangerous cheese?   . . .  Caerphilly.

Which Cheese is made backwards?  . . .   think about that one and I’ll tell you in a minute.

What kind of cheese would you use to try to disguise a small horse?   . . .  Mascarpone.

Which cheese would you use if you wanted to coax a bear down from a tree?  . . .  Camembert.

How did Mr. Cheese paint his wife?   . . .  He Double Gloucester.  (for those outside of the UK,  you say Gloucester like this:  Glosster.  now say the answer to the joke again and you’ll get it then).  Link: Gloucester Cheeses

And finally ..  back to Which Cheese is made backwards?  . . .  the answer is …  Edam.  Get it?

Have a truly fabulous Friday I hope that today leaves you feeling happy, tired, and ready for a nice weekend doing something you enjoy.  Remember to make a memory along the way.

Look after each other.  Be kind.  Try to make someone happy.  And … whatever you’re doing  and  where ever you go,  may your God go with you. 

Blessings, my friends ~





Author: The Art of Cobwebs - aka:- thecobweboriumemporium

Hello. I'm 'Cobwebs'. I live in a wee little cottage in the South of England, aptly called Cobweb Cottage. This little dwelling really is a cobweb factory. Not inside (well, occasionally) - but outside - flipping heck! This information should give you a clue as to why my blog is called The Art of Cobwebs aka: The Cobweborium Emporium. I've been arty and crafty from a very young age, and although my crafts have sometimes turned a corner and taken me in another direction, I've always crafted in some way, shape or form. One day, in the blink of an eye, life changed somewhat for me and the consequences were many. I had to find a new way of being 'artistic'. Card making; scrap-booking; producing ATC's and ACEO's; needle felting; Polymer clay; painting- but in a more relaxed style than I had before, and sewing, - are all things which I visit, as and when life allows. I've fairy recently become a Textile Artist and am enjoying this new creative outlet very much as it offers me so much scope for letting my imagination run through a grassy field and feel the wind in my hair - (mentally, of course). I love to create. To make things. I truthfully believe that the best gifts in the world are those in which you've given your time, rather than your cash. Thank you so much for visiting. Please visit my blog (link below) and have a look around. I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy, even if it's only a handful of jokes! (yes, seriously - there really are jokes!) Wishing you a truly blessed rest of your day! ~ Cobs. <3

42 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned This Week.”

  1. I really enjoy your Friday blog, even tho’ it’s not quite Friday across the pond here in Victoria, BC, about four hours to go. You keep us all smiling. 🙂 Enjoy your weekend Cobs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thrilled you enjoy this weekly dip into the world things I’ve learned this week. I know every single week that I’ve learned more than I’ve told everyone about, but unless I remember to write the things down, then my one brain cell loses them. LOL.
      Great to see you Soozy. ~ Cobs x


  2. Poor poor Alf Capone (used furniture dealer) He looks like he is in prison behind pink bars.
    You now have me curious (kind of like a cat) what does your Big Beasty sewing/embroidery machine all do? Does it hemstitch also? If so I might be coveting that machine……
    Love the cheese jokes and thank you so much for knowledge….I now know how to properly pronounce Gloucester (though I must admit to having issues trying to spell it. I had to scroll back and make sure I did that right.)
    Have a blessed weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Alf … bless him. He’s the biggest cat we’ve ever owned, but he’s also the softest, most loving, caring, incredible cat too. His fur is like the thickest velvet and if he rubs around my bare legs it’s like the most heavenly feeling. If I could pay him to do that for 5 minutes every day I would.

      My sewing/embroidery Machine. I’ve had it a few years, from new. It was a gift from Mr.Cobs – a combined birthday/Christmas gift for about a gazillion years to come.

      I don’t use it nearly enough – and the truth is I’m scared silly of breaking the darn thing. But … when I use it I absolutely LOVE the things I can do on it. (You can add to the embroidery patterns too, by downloading them on-line, onto a USB stick and simply plugging the stick into a port on the sewing machine. It’s an incredible machine – but SO heavy.
      Here’s a link so that you can take a gander at the machine & some of the stuff it does:

      And .. the hemstitch … I’ve never used it but if what you’re talking about is a ‘blind hem’ stitch – then yes, it does.

      Singer don’t make this one anymore HOWEVER … only because they ‘improve’ their machines every year, so they’ll have one like this – probably with other new features too.
      But .. you can pick this up second hand from folks who have bought one and then found they don’t use it.

      Here’s another link – this is from a Sewing Machine company who sells (I’ve bought bits and pieces from them so know them to be ok) – and this link gives you lots of information about the machine too:

      Hope that helps in every which way.
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t really sew that much now that the kids are grown. Used to sew their jammies (pretty sure they don’t want the ones with the feet in them anymore!) I was curious about the hemstitching because we have ladies around here who hemstitch receiving blankets so people like me can crochet edges on them.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahhh.

          I don’t sew a huge amount. I used to … I’d make clothes for myself, and bits and bobs for the girls when they were younger. My favourite makes were always for the house. Soft furnishings. I’d buy curtains in the sale, then personalise them so that they fitted our windows and matched our decor. Or make cushions to tone with furnishings, complete with zips and piping.

          I never had any formal training, it was just what I learnt at school, and the rest I either made it up as I went along, or I’d get a book from the library (or Amazon in later years) and read up on how to do something – then just had the bravery to go straight in and do it.

          The blankets sound divine. I cannot imagine anything more beautiful than a handmade receiving blanket with an hand crocheted edge. A true keepsake, filled with precious memories.
          Sending love ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I also learned any sewing skills I have the way you did. My mom sewed pretty much everything my sisters and I wore. I will never forget when she thought she would save money sewing underwear briefs for my dad. He was not impressed and she gave up on that one. good times!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Oh my stars! I can just imagine Mr.Cobs expression if I voiced the idea that I would like to make him his own underwear. I think his reply would run along the words of: “Er, I don’t think so!”
              (aw, the thought of it is making me actully laugh out loud!)
              Thank you for the first giggle of the day Chicken. Love you and it. ~ Cobs. x

              Liked by 1 person

              1. I do what I can. (hahahaha). If I remember correctly my dad was not totally sold on the idea either…..maybe that is why only one pair was made LOL
                If you do run the idea past Mr. Cobs I would video it because the reaction just might be priceless.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Oh. My. Stars … I’d likely have to bleep out the swearing! LOLOLOL.

                  He REALLY wouldn’t be impressed one bit. He’s very particular about his boxers. They have to have the right waistbands, and they have to fit properly and not have (as he puts it) everything free and loose.

                  He likes those boxers which are made out of a cotton jersey type fabric. All soft and gentle. And he can’t abide waistbands which have a pocket with the elastic running through them, unless the elastic is stitched into place. Because otherwise, the waistbands can apparently roll and then they crease, which apparently hurts.

                  As you might have guessed by now … I no longer buy his underwear, because of the ‘rules’. I leave the chap to find the ones he likes himself. That’s why we’re still married. lol. x

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. You are a wise woman Mrs. Cobs…..sometimes you just need to let those men buy their own essentials. It saves so much wear and tear on a marriage. On the flip side…I really wouldn’t want my husband bra shopping for me either………

                    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey up there Cobs. I feel set for he day now after reading and giggling at your post. Such a great read. Really enjoyed it. I still like to watch Doris Day films. I didn’t realise you had to pay to watch old films like that especially with all of the rubbish they have on the free channels. Loved the cheese joke….double Gloucester! ha ha. Now I thought the photo of Alf was because he was behind bars! Now got the fits of giggles.
    You take care and have a fantastic weekend.
    Hugs Flo xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Flo! aww, always such a delight to see you. You light up a room like a ray of sun.

      No, it was a shock to me to find that they wanted me to open my purse for each of the 2 Doris Day films they had to offer – and one of them I’d never heard of before!

      Double Gloucester – yup, that’s one of my favourites. I like ‘play on words’ – so that one is my bestest.

      Ahhh, Alf (Capone) … I know what you mean about that photo making him look like he’s behind bars. I said that when I took it a few weeks ago. He has ‘favourite’ places he likes to sit, and behind that Laura Ashley chair is one of them. I don’t understand why. Mr. Cobs can’t figure it out either. But Alf likes it and so we leave him to it. If it makes him happy, I’m happy. ❤

      Sending love and a bucket load of squidges your way, and wishing you a fabulous weekend ~ Cobs. x


  4. Good Morning Cobs! 🙂 It is 8:30 a.m. Friday morning here 🙂 Oh my! So much greatness to read on your post this morning 🙂 First off, Your Cats are Beautiful! Love the pics! Now, Doris Day…I can’t remember the last time I have watched a movie! I do enjoy reruns of Andy Griffith and Happy Days and so many others on Me TV ! Uggh, the needle broke! I better get extra needles, I would be so disappointed if I was starting a project after a minutes and that happened! Matter of fact I haven’t changed my needle ever 🙂 A couple years old and after many quilts! Your Sewing/embroidery machine sound great! Thank you for the cheese jokes 🙂 Have a Blessed and Wonderful weekend! xxxxRuthie


    1. Hello Ruthie!
      Thank you my fellow blogging friend.
      I’m thrilled to pieces that you’ve enjoyed an early morning read and hope that you got a few smiles which might last the whole day through.

      Wishing you a fabulous day and a peace filled, happy weekend.
      ~ Cobs. x


  5. Lots of smiles raised here, though you have made me want to eat cheese! I’ve learned that wallowing in self pity is not a long term option, best to just get on with it (whatever it is). Also learned that many treasures reside in the space under the sofa, including my best sewing needle!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. (((Mrs. Craft))) <– rubbish as a hug, I know, but imagine me hugging you in real life and you’ll get the feeling.
      I know about wallowing, and about self pity, and I whole-heartedly agree that the very best thing is to get on with it. Sometimes it’s difficult, but even if only one step a day, then you’re one step closer to where you want to be regarding ‘whatever it is’.

      The only ‘treasure’ residing under our sofa is the stuff Alf Capone has placed there, . . . and a small variety of doggy toys from when she’s been shaking the living daylights out of them and they’ve flung from her mouth and landed under the sofa. If near the sides of the sofa she can reach in and grab them. Sadly, if they’ve travelled to the central bit under the sofa, her little rotund body (not entirely gained through good living – but I’ll blog about her at some point and share) …her little rotund body won’t allow her to get very far under there, so she talks to us in ‘oughs’ (the noise she makes) and looks from us to it, from us to it, from us to it … over and over, knowing all the time that she’s dealing with dimwits who haven’t learned how to understand. lol.

      Glad you found your best sewing needle. Treasure indeed!
      Whatever it is which is irking, or upsetting… I send love and hugs in bucket loads ~ Cobs x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Definitely get the new tag for Alf – it makes me smile just to think about it! I love Doris too – I believe I may have mentioned it once or twice!! Maybe there should be a Doris channel? Can we put this in our list of projects that will make the world a better, prettier place? I think I may need to go watch Young at Heart now….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WE SHOULD ALL WRITE TO THE TV COMPANIES AND SUGGEST THAT THERE SHOULD BE A DORIS CHANNEL! Oh. My. Dog! This is the best idea you’ve ever had Puff …. and you’ve had some GREAT ONES!

      Pee Beer is the one I still talk about to this day!

      As for my threat of going out and buying Doris Day films … I didn’t even have to use up shoe leather. Mr. Cobs found me a place on-line and I’ve ordered (for now) four. That should be about enough to put that smile back again. (until I need more).
      Sending squidges from me here, to you there ~ Cobs. x


  7. Hello Cobs 😃 Friday again. Already!!! Your cheese jokes made me laugh and I didn’t guess the Edam answer. I must confess to be a total Netflix addict despite a million other channels I could watch on my TV. I watch Netflix on my laptop when I’m crafting. I’m pretty sure you can get a free months subscription, watch whatever you want and then cancel it. It would give you the time to watch both those films.

    My cat loves chasing bees – silly thing. Saying that he will eat pretty much anything – bread, spaghetti, mushrooms etc He did struggle with a dropped hula hoop crisp!

    Anyway, I’m waffling on and now I’m being asked to do spirograph…… Hxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. SPIROGRAPH!!! Ohhh I remember that from when I was little! (well … I think I do … or was it when my girls were little? Oh heck .. I know I’ve played with it. lol).

      Our Alf Capone will have a go at eating anything. Particularly anything we’re eating. He thinks he’s a dog. He loves yoghurt, pastry, chocolate, ice cream OOOHH LOVES ice cream, cream (naturally), custard, quite likes tiny bits of crisp – so is friends with Little Cobs, because little Cobs will break up a crisp and give him teeny bits. The big crisps he (little Cobs) gives to the dog. lol.

      Netflix .. we did try it out for a month, about a year and a half ago, (instructed to give it a go by our youngest daughter) but couldn’t find a thing we wanted to watch. There was just (at that time) nothing there which we fancied. I’ve ordered some Doris Day films on DVDs (four of them to be precise) – and next time we go into town or anywhere which sells DVD’s, I’ll have a look for some more.

      Sending oodles of love ~ Cobs. x


  8. Fun post again, Cobs! Favourite Doris Day film of mine is The Glass Bottom Boat – I’d recommend it to anyone, even those who’ve seen it! 😀
    Hope you get you needles sorted… and a couple of your cheese jokes had me laughing like Muttley! I’d never have thought those ice cubes bags were suitable for the freezer though… you do learn things everyday!
    Hope you’re having a good weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohh TOM YOU GOT IT!
      The Ice Cube Bags … I’m not sure that it didn’t slip completely past everyone else.

      Even Mr. Cobs here … and he’s got a really weird sense of humour, didn’t get it straight off. I had to explain it. So I’m thrilled you got it. It’s restored my faith in silly jokes. lol.

      Enjoy the rest of your weekend my blogging friend. ~ Cobs.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahh … was it being “sillier”, or was it the universe watching you walk into the more shallow waters at the edges of insanity, so that you could take a free ride, safely.
          [cue the opening bars of The Twilight Zone]
          We shall never know!
          lol ~ Cobs.


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