Instead of a ‘What I’ve Learned This Week’ post (which I normally share on a Friday), I felt it would be appropriate to make a post about some of the things I’ve learned this last year which we’ve just said goodbye to.
Some of the things life taught me during 2016 are fabulous, and some aren’t.
I’m a believer in a particular ‘thing’, which life taught me when I was in my early teens, which I call: If something happens, it happens For A Reason.
It might be a truly wonderful, amazing, biggest wish and want of your heart and soul. Or it could be something not so wanted or desired. However, what ever this ‘thing’ is, it will have been placed on your pathway for a reason, and you are meant to learn something from it.
So let’s begin the journey of discovery about what I Learned during 2016, shall we? Are you strapped in securely? Do you have your crash helmet secured? Clean underwear on? Okey Dokey, hold on tightly to the person sat next to you, because that way it’s less likely that you’ll fly off half way round the ride!
I learned last year …. that when I finally find some moccasin slippers which fit beautifully, with good soles, and are lined with cotton inside them (because of my stupidly sensitive feet) … I should buy two or even three pairs, because when the pair I originally chose, and have been wearing till they fell apart, I won’t be able to find any more, anywhere near as comfortable or lovely as them, and the place I bought them from changed the design and put non-cotton linings in their new design. I’ve been looking since February of 2016 for a new pair, and so far I’ve found nothing which comes anywhere near. I’ve bought new slippers – in fact I’ve bought four pairs of different slippers since then, but none of them are anywhere near as comfortable and, to be truthful, I hate them all.
The older I’ve got, the more I’ve grown to appreciate bits of my body, in particular my feet. Look after your feet people, because they have to last you for the rest of your life. Buy shoes which fit. Don’t wear heels every day – swap things around – to give your feet chance to work properly. And don’t wear anything which is tight around the toes. It’s not brain surgery, and it’s simple to understand. Look after your feet.
I also learned that I need to Plan Ahead. Not for the emergency things, like a power cut and we had no electricity – because I plan for all emergencies like that.
(In fact, I plan so ‘beautifully’ (?) for that sort of emergency that if there were an actual power cut here where we live, I could give every neighbour candles and still have enough for us).
I need to stop waiting till the last moment to do some of the regular things – like make an appointment for the doctor (I wait until I’m ready to be admitted to hospital before I’ll give in and make an appointment), – and instead of putting things off, I need to do things there and then(!) so that they’re already done and ready for when they need to be ready. Case in point: This Post!
I knew I was going to do this post and I knew when I needed it done for. And yet, here I am, on the last day of 2016, tapping away on my keyboard knowing that this post HAS to be ready to ‘go live’ in the early hours of 2017. Why on earth didn’t I begin building this post when I sat having a rest or a coffee, or even last week?! The answer is: Because I’m a dimwit! That’s why!
PLAN AHEAD WOMAN ... and stop leaving ‘it’ till the final moment!
I learned during 2016 that Crafting is an obsession to me. And not only is crafting itself the obsession, but crafty shopping is also an obsession. I will go to a store with a list of (say) three or four items that I need. However, when I hit that shop with all those lovely crafty goodies, I go batship crazy and am like a child who’s on a sugar high and been given permission to have as many things as they can stuff into a trolley within two hours. Yes seriously. I will sometimes catch the bored stiff eyes of ‘Cobs The Bogeyman’ (aka Mr.Cobs) as he wanders around after me (following me like a little lost puppy) asking … “can we go now?”.
The man should be awarded a Knighthood in the New Year Honours List (which we have here in the UK), for Services to Retail; Excelling in the Art of Husbandry; and generally being Mr. Wonderful. (although that last one can sometimes come into question).
“Arise Sir Cobs.” she says. [as the Queen finishes dobbing him on each shoulder with her trusty sword].
I won’t make up stories about my parents being the most amazing parents in the world. My parents weren’t the best parents in the world, but they were the best ‘THEY‘ could be. They taught me many lessons. Life Lessons about:
- appreciating every thing I had. From the toys that were given to me as a child, to the teachers I had at school and the lessons I learned from them.
- How to make friends and be a friend. ( I still have problems making friends because I’m SO painfully shy).
- Ensuring that I knew the importance of keeping Sunday as a family day and Christmas and Easter, and Birthdays, as special days and honour the family by spending time with them – all of them – from my parents to my Grandma & Grandad, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins etc.
- To look at both sides of any choices which were placed in front of me. Good-v-Bad. To make sure that I had looked at things from every angle in order to make sure I made the right choice for me.
- To have an opinion. Aw heckaroonie, I could count on my Mom to have an opinion, and to feel free to voice it – even if I or anyone else disagreed with her, she had her opinion and would stick to it too.
- To be willing to help. From the age of around 12, I used to do the family weekly shopping all by myself. My mother would be working and my father wasn’t the shopping sort of chap, so I was left a list next the kitchen sink, every Saturday morning, along with money, and I had to go all by myself to the local shopping centre, and visit the big Supermarket; greengrocer; butchers; newsagent; and possibly the pharmacy too, in order to get all the things on the list, within the money that I’d been left to buy it with. Then bring all those groceries home – walking all the way home carrying four bags full of groceries. This taught me a huge lesson as a child: How to be an important part of the family. How to manage money; How to Budget; How to Shop for a whole family with all their various likes and dislikes; and … Spend money on the right things when that was the only option open. As an adult, when I married, I was so grateful for those shopping and money management lessons.
I learned many more lessons from my parents and I’m grateful for them. However, a lesson they never got the chance to teach me (and I so wish they had) was how to deal with someone, a family member in this case, who not just wounded me but broke my heart with their words, all within about 90 seconds, and without me getting chance to ask why? What? How? When? Who? Why? WHY??
My parents aren’t around now for me to talk to and ask advice from on how to deal with what happened and to share with them how it’s affected me, and over the last year I’ve wished daily that I had someone older and wiser to advise me, and to just listen. Before now, I’ve had my mother in law to chat with, and she’s been brilliant. But she’s getting on in age and is showing some signs of a dementia type of illness so of course I simply won’t give her a problem like this for her to listen to.
So it’s been left to me to ‘grow up’ and get to a place where I have come to a decision about what I have to do.
This whole thing happened because I’d offered this particular family member help to clean their house. I’d offered before and they seemed to welcome the idea of this help – things were getting on top of them and all sorts of stuff had become very difficult for them as they were suffering with depression.
Offering to help with the cleaning was the only thing I knew how to do which I thought might help in some way. But I’d been waiting for them to tell me when they’d like me to come over – for it’s how we’d left it. I offered, they brightened up and said yes, and said they’d let me know when. I’d waited weeks and weeks, and wondered if perhaps they didn’t like to ask, so I offered again, and it tipped this person over the edge of reason and they simply exploded. They shouted an awful lot of hurtful things at me, and told me that they didn’t love me, or like me, and that they didn’t want anything more to do with me. It was such a total shock because we’d always got on really well.
So … I finally learned in the last week of 2016, that for my own sake, I have to leave this deep wound alone and move on. Mr.Cobs has helped me see that after 15 months, if nothing has put things right after this length of time, then I HAVE to let it go and move on from it. For the sake of my heart, and my health, I have to leave this behind me and allow my heart time to heal.
It’s difficult because I hate to see how depression is keeping this person fixed, almost like a prisoner, in one place and no longer enjoying life. But, as Mr.Cobs has said over and over – I have to let it go. I cannot continue to fret over this.
I’ve learned that I’m grateful for my parents being the best parents they could be, teaching me, showing me and making me aware of the things that are important. And … I think they would have told me I realised, probably about eight months ago, that I HAD to just let go of this ‘thing’, stop turning it over and over inside my heart and mind, and instead move on.
So that’s what I’m doing. I’m moving on Mom. ❤
Y’know … I felt as if I just heard her say, over my left shoulder, ‘Good girl.’
*I tell you none of this for sympathy … and I want none. I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned last year, and this was a really BIG learn for me.
OK… moving on: NEXT!
I learned, during 2016, that it takes me two months to learn to write the new year numbers down on anything that I need to write it down on. So I’m going to try harder with 2017!
I learned all over again in 2016, how much I enjoy writing posts for this blog. I’ve ‘met’ so many wonderful people via the blog and I cannot begin to tell you how enriching it is to know you all. YOU reading this now. YOU enrich my life by being in it. So I take this opportunity to thank you for being who you are. You’re truly amazing. (And boy oh boy, you’re such a blessing!)
I’ve learned how much I adore the simple jokes in life. Complicated jokes are great … but sometimes they can be a bit too clever and they make my brain hurt trying to keep up with them. But the simple, almost childlike jokes … aw, they are the jaw achers which I adore. I shall attempt to remember to add a small handful at the end of this ‘ream of internet paper’.
I’ve learned the importance of an afternoon snack. 4pm (ish) seems to be the point at which my sugar levels drop to a low and I will either fall asleep in my chair or take myself off to bed for a nap. However … if I have something snackwise, at around 4pm, then I’m good to go for the rest of the day. Have a snack!
I’ve learned the importance of not hitting your knee on a substantial coffee table, made of 2″thick pine and made in such a way that a family of four could live in it in an emergency. Actually … I learnt this lesson on the closing moments of 2016 … so only just, and the swear words are still bouncing off the walls of my brain! Grrrrr! Gosh, that knee hurts now, and it’s really, really hot to touch and swollen too!
OK… I know you’ve been waiting for this part …. here come the jokes:
An annoying person told me “People have 2 Ears and 1 mouth, so they should listen more than they speak.”
I replied “People also have 1 mouth and 2 legs, so maybe you should shut up and go away.”
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. After that, everything else was ‘Made in China’.
Women: A species that loathes you for asking their age,but will torture you forever if you forget their birthday.
What is red and bad for your teeth? . . . A brick!
Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Love means nothing to a tennis player.
What are you? An owl?
Smell map who?
If you’re not giggling by now, say it out loud. If you’re still not giggling after that then click and hold the click over this —>“Smell map who?” sounds like ‘Smell my poo’ when said out loud<—
Doris locked that’s why I’m knocking.
Bless you and cover your mouth next time.
OK, W. H. O.
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole
I eat map.
I eat map who?
Oh yuk! That’s disgusting! (you might have to say it out loud if you haven’t got it yet).
And finally …..
Wife texts husband: Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?
Husband texts back: Love, do you remember the jewellery shop on Regent Street where you saw a diamond necklace and fell in love with it and I couldn’t afford it then, but I said ‘I will get it one day for you’?
Wife replies (all excited): Yes I do, I do.
Husband texts back to her: I am in the pub just next door to that.
Well I guess that there’s only one thing left for me to do now and that’s this (It’s only 34 seconds long):-