Things I’ve learned this Week.

Hello ….  I’m baa-aaaack!

My apologies for being M.I.A (missing in action) – my body is still being bombarded by bugs, but I’m trying to fight ’em.  My bed is winning at the moment.  I seem to get up in the morning;  have a shower, and before you know it, I’m back in bed again.


Off to see my GP in a couple of days, and he if doesn’t have a magic wand to wave and put things right, – then I’m making plans for a ticket to platform 9 and three-quarters to be purchased, and I’ll be off to Hogwarts to see if they can mix up an elixir which might sort me out once and for all!


Anyhooo .…  let’s dip into the world of lessons, as learned by one Cobwebs of The Cobweborium Emporium and find out what life has taught me this week….

I’ve learned (not for the first time) that if I stay away from my craft room for too long, then my mojo wanders off and it’s really not easy to get the little divil back again and in working order.  This is such a great BIG GRRRRRR!  to me.


I’ve learned that I’d got SO into making Christmas cards and thinking ‘Christmas’, that it’s been an absolute pain in the rear end to try and get myself out of that Christmas frame of mind.

And while on the subject of Christmas ….  With the help of Mr. Cobs, I’ve packed away all the Christmassy Craft things into my special Christmas Box (a red box labelled  “Christmas”), and have learned this week that I won’t need to buy even so much as a rubber stamp or even an extra die … or indeed any Christmas papers …  for at least two or three years, because I have SO much stuff that I haven’t used, and yet I keep adding to the pile!   tut tut.


I’ve also learned …  that because of being pretty much confined to the house, I’ve discovered the attraction of dipping into the sales on-line at this time of year and have …  (this one will surprise you) … done some shopping for Christmas gifts for NEXT CHRISTMAS!  Me!  Yes!!!  My mother wouldn’t have believed me if I’d have told her that.

There are (or have been) some really fabulous bargains to be found on the interwebby thing.  Particularly some really beautiful pieces of jewellery.  Although … the downside of this shopping is that I’ve found rather a lot of things which I want myself.  [sigh].  I admit to buying myself a (late) Christmas present of an Electric Blue Swiss Topaz ring and also a pair of silver earrings – both of which I bought for a bargain price and both of which have become my favourites in the jewellery box.  – However …  they haven’t had chance to make it to the jewellery box.  They’re both living on a little ring saucer on my dressing table, and I keep putting them on, and wearing them for a few minutes, just so that I can look at them and love them for a while.  Just to make my heart smile.

I’ve also learned …  that, in this country (Great Britain – land of my heart and home) – the TV programme schedulers (planners) obviously go totally brain-dead once they’ve planned the Television programmes for the Christmas week, because the offerings they’ve given us here in the UK as choices to watch on TV are TOTAL RUBBISH!

Seriously … I could have done better given three hours, some coffee and a laptop!

So here’s the plan:  British people reading this blog …  I think we should get our brain cells working and make a list of the things we’d like to be watching in the TV programmes schedule for after Christmas this year.  Each of us can then email that list to the good old BBC,  ITV  and Channels 4 & 5.  If we all do this, then maybe they might get the hint that they’re not doing their job properly, should buck up their ideas, and maybe follow our suggestions and play the programmes we suggest.

Now I don’t ‘do’ Facebook, but I know some of you do, so please feel free to quote this idea to your friends and let’s get this thing going.  We’ll beat ’em into submission!  We have to pay a licence fee (we have no option), so let’s make them work for what they charge us.

I also learned some really great stuff this week.  Give your mind a work out with these:

Giraffes have the same number of teeth as humans.

Leonardo Da Vinci was a vegetarian and was known to buy caged birds simply to let them free.  He was also questioning man’s superiority over animals and his right to raise them for slaughter – this attitude was unheard of in his time.

Your lips don’t touch when you say the word ‘touch’ but they do touch when you say the word ‘separate’.

When you cut a hole in your fishing net, it has fewer holes.  (Think about that one for a moment)

Japan now has a new class of citizens – the cyber homeless. They live in cyber cafes because it is cheaper than an apartment. The cafes oblige with free showers and even sell underwear.  (This one really surprised me, until I thought about it for a moment, and then I realised that actually … nothing that happens in Japan which fulfills one of their needs or requirements, surprises me any more.  They seem to have a simple solution of solving any problem).

AND FINALLY . . . . .

 . . .  the bit I know you’ve been waiting for.  The Jokes!

Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: “Where’s Popcorn?”
Q: What do you call sad coffee?”
A: Despresso.
Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?
A: Nobody nose.
Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A: A penny.
Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed
and finally . . .
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A:  a USB
I hope your chuckle muscles got a workout.
Let’s get this Friday the 13th off to a great start shall we?  Remember …  there’s nothing especially unlucky about it being Friday the 13th and the only scary thing about it is attempting to say this: paraskavedekatriaphobia,  – which is the name given for people who fear Friday the 13th.  Bad things, carelessness, something breaking, car accidents, falling over, breaking your toe, losing your phone … these and many more things, can, and do,  happen on any given day.  So please don’t worry over it.  But … if it makes you feel better to spend the day in bed and not go out of the house, then do whatever makes you happy.
Have a really great day.  Share your smile with someone.  You never know … your smile could be the very thing that changes someone’s day around and makes it a good one.

Sending you oodles of love and squidges ~






Author: The Art of Cobwebs - aka:- thecobweboriumemporium

Hello. I'm 'Cobwebs'. I live in a wee little cottage in the South of England, aptly called Cobweb Cottage. This little dwelling really is a cobweb factory. Not inside (well, occasionally) - but outside - flipping heck! This information should give you a clue as to why my blog is called The Art of Cobwebs aka: The Cobweborium Emporium. I've been arty and crafty from a very young age, and although my crafts have sometimes turned a corner and taken me in another direction, I've always crafted in some way, shape or form. One day, in the blink of an eye, life changed somewhat for me and the consequences were many. I had to find a new way of being 'artistic'. Card making; scrap-booking; producing ATC's and ACEO's; needle felting; Polymer clay; painting- but in a more relaxed style than I had before, and sewing, - are all things which I visit, as and when life allows. I've fairy recently become a Textile Artist and am enjoying this new creative outlet very much as it offers me so much scope for letting my imagination run through a grassy field and feel the wind in my hair - (mentally, of course). I love to create. To make things. I truthfully believe that the best gifts in the world are those in which you've given your time, rather than your cash. Thank you so much for visiting. Please visit my blog (link below) and have a look around. I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy, even if it's only a handful of jokes! (yes, seriously - there really are jokes!) Wishing you a truly blessed rest of your day! ~ Cobs. <3

46 thoughts on “Things I’ve learned this Week.”

  1. So sooooo glad you are back!!! Was missing your posts.
    I really did have to think about the fishing net one. I read that one to the husband….the look on his face…..priceless (and first slightly puzzled till he reasoned it out.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I HAD to come back … I was missing everyone SO very much! I now have to catch up on everyones blog posts. That’s going to take me a month of Sundays (as my mum used to say).

      The fishing net … when I first heard that one it flew straight past me too! So Mr.Chicken isn’t by himself in hi puzzlement. lol.
      Great to see you Chicken. Sending love and squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Welcome! Yes, crazy me was getting a little out of sorts for your absence. As for the TV. We turned ours off years ago and haven’t missed it,course the pc gets a workout. We are back to spring and summer temps.No wonder so many are sick. Ice falling one day and 60 -70 degrees the next. Only in the South USA. Bed time, Tomorrow is
    another day..Cob…we have got to find out what is wrong with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovely Beverly!
      Out of sorts because I was absent? Ahh… you mean normal service was resumed because you didn’t have a regular delivery of daft stuff from me! LOL.

      You’re so right about everyone being sick. The cough I caugh before Christmas has been making the rounds across the country here – they’ve even been talking about it in the Newspapers.

      I think my immune system must be low and that’s why I’m catching everything.

      Sending you buckets of love and barrels of squidges ~ Cobs. x


  3. I hope you feel better soon.

    Though I have a ton of supplies, it seems like I never have enough Christmas supplies. I had to buy a 6×6 holiday pad of paper in order to make cards this year.

    On the other hand, I have a lifetime supply of aqua and teal tone on tone paper. I think it’s an addiction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OH MY STARS!! The aqua and teal papers … I’m in a love affair with teal and some of the more ‘off to the side’ blues at the moment.

      Perhaps you and I should get together and share stuff – because my Christmas box of crafting goodies is stupidly full to over-flowing. I bought new Christmas crafting papers, stamps and even some new dies . . . and I truthfully didn’t use any of them, because I was so in love with stuff I already had! How daft is that?!!! tsk tsk.

      GREAT to see you Scrappy, and thanks for the lovely comment and for the visit too!
      Sending squidges to your corner from mine ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry to hear you’ve been unwell but I hope you are on the road to recovery now 🙂
    I’d forgotten it was Friday 13th…and it’s just started snowing here (yuck vile) so it’s obviously a day to wear my highest pair of heels and run everywhere…not!
    topaz is a great crystal to have-it’s empathetic and directs energy to where it’s needed most where it can soothe and heal. Good buy!
    Have a lucky and fortunate Friday :)xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Samantha.
      Thank you so much for your good wishes.

      Like you, I hadn’t made the connection of it being Friday the 13th, until I began writing this blog post, then the penny dropped!

      I didn’t know that about Topaz – how brilliant! I just fell in love with the colour and the cut of the stone. It was something which I spotted and it called to me. My heart and it had an instant love affair and well, it would have been too cruel not to buy the ring. lol.
      But seriously – it’s truly beautiful! I’m so glad that I went with my instincts.

      Thanks for the great comment, and for the visit Samantha. It’s been such fun having a chat, and I’ve learned all about Topaz from you! How much better can it get?!
      Sending love ❤ ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Saw my favourite GP yesterday and he’s now on the case. I have to have some tests done, also bloods, an ECG, oh, and an x-ray.

          I really like this chap he’s way better than the other Dr’s in the practise. I’ve been here over 5 years and it’s taken me till now to finally find one which I feel cares about his patients – even when they’re not in the room! So I have high hopes for him finally getting to the bottom of ‘this business’ of my rubbish health.

          Sending you love ~ Cobs.x

          Liked by 2 people

  5. Lovely Cob’s is back! (smiling now 🙂 ) Sorry to hear you aren’t feeling better yet. You, know….Rest is giving your body the time it needs to heal, so please don’t fret that the bed is winning! xxx Back to you shopping 🙂 definitely where the new beauties you got! They will surely lift you spirit! Great jokes as always Cobs! lol Sending prayers and well wishes your way! Oh wait! ….I forgot about you heading off to Hogwarts! xxxxx Sending Love and Immune boosters your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Beautiful Ruthie!
      Y’know … just seeing your name here is like a tonic! You lift me up and show me the sunshine, my fabulous blogging friend.

      I’m absolutely wearing my new twinkly sparklies. I keep putting them on just to sit and admire them and each time, I truthfully get a little thrill run though my body as I tell myself what a lucky girl I am.

      Thank you so much for the prayers and good wishes, Ruthie. They are very much welcomed and appreciated.

      Sending oodles of love, and giving thanks for having you in my life.
      ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello, great to see you back but sorry to hear you are still unwell. A little online retail therapy sounds just what you need. I hate packing away Christmas things whether they are decorations or craft supplies – such a shame to have things that you can only use a few weeks of the year.

    Anyway, I have two cheeky monkeys to get to bed. Hope you feel better soon. Hxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovely Hannah.
      Aw it’s truly lovely to see you here. Thanks so much for coming for a visit.

      Like you, I’m not over-keen on packaging away all the Christmassy things. It always feels like I’m putting some lovely memories in a box, and I don’t want to do it. I want to leave them out so that I can pass by them and ‘remember’ all over again.

      Hope those two little monkeys went to bed happily, and fell asleep within 5 minutes – or at least before you had to yell up the stairs and tell them to keep the noise down “or else!” lol
      Sending love and squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have one still up refusing to be separated from me! Ah the joys of parenting lol.

        I was so pleased to see your post today – I was worried that you hadn’t been blogging much recently. Hxx


    1. Hello Kim, thank you for your well wishes. I too am hoping that I’ll be fighting fit very soon, because I’m royally bored with being poorly.

      Hope everyone at Chez Kim is in fine fettle, and that you’re crafting up a storm. I’m going to be catching up with everyones blog posts over the next week and so I’ll be visiting and seeing what’s going on in your world.
      In the meantime …. sending love
      ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Michelle.
      Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Ill health is a misery – but then I don’t need to tell you of all people about that.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to visit, and for the beautiful comment. Your prayers and love are very much appreciated my friend.
      Sending love (and I continue to pray for you and yours), ~ Cobs. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. lol Hello Mrs. Craft.
      I too, love a dinosaur joke … my favourite one is the ‘D’yathinkHeSaurus’.
      Thanks for your good wishes, and lovely comment.
      Great to see you.
      Sending squidges from my corner to yours ~ Cobs. x


  7. Sorry to hear you aren’t well – I hope the GP can fix you up. I had a similar spell in October, I just didn’t; get out of bed longer than it took to shower, put on clean PJs and get back into bed. For nearly two weeks! It took a lot longer than that to get my mojo back. As for Christmas shopping – I hear you! I got an Amazon gift card at Christmas time, and I has such fun with it. I got some stamps and dies for making Christmas cards, I hope that next year I can remember what I had planned for them!

    Love the jokes, I did chuckle. thanks for sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Salpal. I remember when you were ill, and can recall how poorly you were. That didn’t seem like it was ever going to go away!

      So glad you’re back to fighting fit again. As for the dies you bought this year for next Christmas … write and draw pictures of the ideas you have for them … then when you get the out, the difficult stage has already been done!
      Sending love ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Tom!
      You are the proof that great things happen on the 13th, for you were cooked to perfection and popped out on that very day.

      I too am hoping that a trip to Hogwarts isn’t required, for I have no map, no owl, no ideas and .. can confirm that I would indeed be up to no good!

      Great to see you, and thanks for the well wishes Tom.
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I am sorry that you still aren’t feeling up to snuff, but I’m sure the wizards at Hogwarts can help you!
    As for Christmas thing, omg, I can’t find my ton of stamps. I have to get it together and find them and put everything Christmas in one place!!! Like you, I don’t have to buy anything to do with making Christmas cards, I have enough paper and trimmings to last me at least three years!! Trouble is they always come up with new stuff.
    Dealing with illnesses of any kind is not nice. I deal with chronic pain everyday and it’s very exhausting. It would be nice to wake up and not hurt but it could be worse, a lot worse. I am grateful for every day 🙂 Life is good.
    I have a ton to be thankful for and one being my fur babies, they help with all matters of things and I have my son. He is my rock.
    Don’t worry Cobs, you will see the light of day again and get your MOJO back. I know mine has gone on vacation and I have just been knitting up a storm, still trying to get some Christmas gifts finished before the end of January! Fine knitting with lace weight yarn is time consuming.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovely Soozyb. Great to see you.

      I’m in agreement with you about how things could be a lot worse. You’re right on the button there.

      Wishing only good things for you this year Soozy.
      Have a blessed rest of your day, and thank you so much for coming and for your beautiful comment.
      Sending love ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 2 people

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