Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Aw, hello!  I’m so happy to see you!  Sit yourself down and I’ll pour you a coffee.  I’ve got some things to tell you about which I’ve learned this week, and which I think will blow your mind!  There is a ‘theme’ to this weeks learned things;  they’re all based around time.

I’m going to get started straight away because I’m desperate to tell you this first thing, which I learned earlier this week as it really surprised me . . . until I began to think about it,  then I could see how obvious it was!  ….  So …  Seat belts on?  Packed Lunch?  Drink at your elbow?  Please extinguish all cigarettes  –  ’cause they make me cough.  Take a deep breath, pinch your nose and lets all jump in together…  Ready?  1,  2,   GO!

Did you know . . .  that Cleopatra lived closer – in time – to the first Moon landing, than to the building of the Great Pyramid?  No, me neither! 

cleopatra

Cleopatra was born 2,500 years after the Great Pyramid a Giza was built,  but only 2,000 years before the first lunar landing was achieved. 

I also learned this week ….  that of all the people in history that have reached 65 years of age,  half of them are living right now (think about that one for a second.  Let it sink in.  It blew me away)

ushi-okushima

USHI OKUSHIMA (pictured above)  was the oldest resident of Ogimi, the most elderly community in Japan.  Born on August 7,  1901,  and when last interviewed she still dabbed perfume behind her ears before she took to the floor for traditional Japanese dances.  Afterwards she sipped the local firewater.  Ushi was born when Japan had only recently seen off the Shogun warlords.

This fabulous lady had been filmed by every major news organization in the world,  from the Discovery Channel,  CNN, and the  good old BBC.  She was like the Dalai Lama of longevity.

So many people fear getting old,  but perhaps if they could have seen this lady, they’d look forward to it.

Ushi would wake at 6 a.m., make a breakfast of vegetable miso soup, and then went out for a stroll.  Every afternoon she’d eat lunch with her daughter, and her grand children and friends came over to visit. In the evenings she’d eat a dinner of mostly vegetables, drink a cup of mugwort sake, and went to bed.  What was her longevity secret?  “Work hard, drink mugwort sake before bed, and get a good night’s sleep,” Ushi said.

Actually, asking an old person how she got to be so old is like asking a tall person how she got so tall.  They don’t really know.  But her life did offer a few clues. For example, Ushi’s day was full of social interaction.  A Harvard study showed that the seniors with the most social ties were three times less likely to die during the study period than those who had the least social connections.  So make time for your family and friends, and you just might add a few years to your life.

I’ve searched for up-to-date information regarding this lady and could only find that it’s believed that Ushi Okushima, passed away sometime in 2010/11 at the age of 109 years.   I found this information only in one place, so can’t say for sure that it’s correct, but I found no recent mention of her other than this.

If you’d like to read a little more about Ushi, you can find a fascinating written piece here —> National Geographic Magazine  <— the link will open in a new tab –   when it loads, if you don’t want to read the initial ‘stuff’ (which is actually rather a good read),   just scroll down to about half way down the page,  and you’ll find the piece about Ushi Okushima.

japan

Japan, the land of the rising sun,  has become the land of the setting sun with staggering speed.  As recently as 1984, Japan had the youngest population in the developed world, but by 2005 it had become the world’s most elderly country.  Soon it will become the first country where most of the people are over 50 years old.

This is partly because Japanese people live longest:  men can expect to reach 79 and women 86.  It is also partly because the Japanese have almost given up having babies:  the fertility rate is just 1.2 children per woman,  far lower than the 2.1 needed to maintain a steady population.  The rest of the world is following Japan’s example.  In 19 countries, from Singapore to Iceland, people have a life expectancy of about 80 years.  Of all the people in human history who ever reached the age of 65,  half are alive now.  Meanwhile, women around the world have half as many children as their mothers.  And if Japan is the model, their daughters may have half as many as they do.

I learned this week that if the history of the Earth were compressed to a single year, modern human beings would appear on December the 31st at around 11.00pm.

history-of-world-if-compressed-into-a-year

Y’know .. time is something which bugs me.  Everything revolves around it and it kind of makes me cross that we give it such importance.  We do everything by the clock.  We get up, by the clock.  Go to work, by the clock.  Be somewhere, by the clock.  Eat by the clock.  We’re always racing time.  Chasing time.  Looking for more time.  Needing more time.  Begging for more time.  Lose track of time.  Wanting to stop time.  Pause time.  Time is like this monster.  Like a living dinosaur of our age.  It’s fearful and down right annoying.

So … this led me to thinking about how I could perhaps make time something less than it is.  Maybe have a little gentle fun with it …. and here’s what I came up with:

If time is money . . .  are ATM’s time machines?

If time waits for no man,  . . .  is time is perhaps a woman?

When you think about it…  We are all time travellers – moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

To all the people who write “u” instead of “you”. . .  What do you do with all the time you save?

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years,  and you sit there and act like everything is fine!

When your kids are little you’re a superhero.  When they’re teens you’re a super villain.  After that, your only power is invisibility.  We are the REAL Harry Potter Wizards – for we don’t need a Cloak of Invisibility!

If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday.  I want to exchange it for another Friday.

By the time a man realises that his father was right,  he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Stephen Hawking says we’ve got about 1,000 years to find a new place to live.  That isn’t even enough time for me to pack!

In 20 years time,  I bet there’s going to be a college course called eye contact.

Apparently, people over the age of 55 are becoming antisocial-psychics.   They can see ahead of time that they won’t want to talk to you.

Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.

And . . .  a few regular jokes …

A man went down the local supermarket, and said, “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”,  the lady behind the desk said, “Those are pickled onions”.

Four fonts walk into a bar – the barman says “Oi – get out!  We don’t want your type in here”

The other day I sent my friend a huge pile of snow.  I rang her up,  and said  “Did you get my drift?”

Again, Monday arrived and became Friday the next day, and I realised someone stolen the days in between.  I used to laugh at my Mum when she used to complain about how time passed so quickly the older she got…  and yet, here I am and I now totally understand what she meant.

I don’t understand HOW time is passing so quickly.  Years ago I could get up in the morning,  plait (braid) hair, make packed lunches, make breakfasts, sing songs to entertain, read the book which the littlest one should have read the night before, got two wriggly, giggly girls washed and dressed and looking fabulous, and off to school in perfect time with all the kit they needed for the day, and then come home and set about cleaning the house, doing the washing and hanging the washing on the line, ironing,  and preparing things for the evening meal.  After this I’d busy myself painting (upcycling) furniture,  or crafting in some way or another.  Then I’d pack things away, change my clothes and go and collect little ones from two different schools, bring them home, feed them their snacks, read their books, help with homework, sing songs, entertain, play with dolls and dolls houses, ‘eat’ plastic food which daughter No.2 had cooked and served up, have ‘tea’ (water) out of her teapot and generally just have a great time being a mum.  And whilst doing that I’d be cooking our evening meal without accidentally putting a child into the oven instead of the joint of meat!

If you asked me to do these things now I’d ask you how many days I’d got to do them all in.  I have no idea how I managed to do the things I did in a day, and still have time to take my mum on rides out in the car, visit her, go with her to the doctors or take her to the hospital.  Bake their favourite things for when they came home.  Make curtains.  Clothes.  Visit friends, arrange play dates, and keep up with the out of school classes that my little girls attended without ever forgetting them or leaving them waiting for me!

lewis-carrol

Now-a-days –  my memory is shot to pieces.  I think I wore it out keeping track of our two little girls and all the things they did.  saxophone (Saxomaphone as we called it) lessons;  Violin (Vile din) lessons;  Trampoline class;  Youth Group at the local Theatre;  Gym Club;  Keyboard Lessons;  Red Cross Volunteer Training;  oh, on and on … and I could remember everything, in my head!  Now though, everything has to be written down, and Dog Forbid that I might lose the piece of paper with a note of something written on it!

On paper, it says I’m getting older.  In my heart I’m still 27 years old and can multitask as a World Champion Sport!

Aw, anyhoo!  . . .  Thank you so much for coming to visit and sharing some TIME with me (see!! there it is again… ‘time’!).   But tell me …  how does time affect you?  The lack of it?  Too much of it?  Time passing too fast?  Too slow?  Tell me how you deal with that divil Time which seems to wrap its fingers around our days and dictate how we are to go about leading out lives.

Have a truly wonderful weekend.  Oh … and before I go …  if you have time off work over the next few of days,  remind yourself every now and again that  . . . .  Time doesn’t existClocks exists.

Do what I do.  I leave my wristwatch (and my mobile phone) at home sometimes, just so that I can’t keep looking at them.  Instead,  I just go with the flow.  If I’m hungry I eat.  If I’m ready to go home, I go.  But if I want to stay where I am and enjoy myself, then that’s what I do.  I say  ‘stuff time!’,  and I do it my way.  You do it YOUR way.  Don’t be a slave to  ‘time’.

Have a truly blessed day my friend. 

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47 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned This Week.

  1. wow, you learned a lot this week, as short as it was. 🙂 I suspect the importance of time changes as we move through life – when you were young and doing enough things to make my head spin, I suspect you were well aware of the clock – when to deliver and fetch the girls. I know that because I work, I pay attention to that clock and calendar. But on vacations and weekends, it is much easier to relax and go with the flow. Until suddenly we are counting the days – ut-oh, is tomorrow the day we go back to work? 🙂

    Can’t wait for retirement when it is more like that and less like this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohh don’t you have a misery about Sundays when you have to go back to work the next day. I remember it well.

      I LOVED my job, but I wish that the weekends were longer.
      When I had daughter No.1, I went back to work some time after … and although I hated leaving her, I knew I’d go stir crazy if I stayed home all day long, and … we were still wanting to buy our own home, so my salary was needed at that time.

      But … when daughter No.2 arrived, we talked about it and decided that it would be wonderful to be home to bring her up in her formative years, and also be that old fashioned mum keeps house and looks after the children while Daddy goes to work and earns the money to keep it all ticking over.

      Mr. Cobs took early retirement (neither of us are of retirment age – we just feel like we are some days! lol), and at that time our Mortgage was paid off, so any money coming into the house was ours, and since there was only two of us living in the cottage then, it was really easy balancing the books.

      We love that ‘being together’ – although I personally found it really difficult when youngest daughter left home – she was the baby, and I felt totally bereft – I cried my heart out at least twice a day. (sigh) … But I highly recommend it Salpal. When you get to a point that you can see that you could become a housewife, and just live on the one salary, take all your courage and then do it in baby steps. Stay at work for a while, but don’t touch your salary. Leave it in the bank, totall untouched, and instead just live off your partners salary. That way you’ll know for sure that you can do it.

      Sending heaps of squidges your way ~ Cobs.x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cobs – I am glad you were able to stop work when the girls were young! And that is good advice about easing off the second salary. Part of my plan in this recent purchase of two vehicles is that when they are paid off, we will still (presumably) have several years worth of service left in them, and it should time nicely with my hoped for retirement time. We still have a mortgage, but we are working diligently to pay that off early. Think of the yarn I can spin and knit if I am home!

        Liked by 1 person

        • OH MY GOODNESS!!! Your home will become Yarn Central! LOL
          I’m rooting for you, and pushing posiive thoughts out into the universe, hoping, wishing and wanting your plans to work out exactly as you want them to.

          In the meantime .. sending love and special Christmas wishes.
          oh … and of course …. love. ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Cobs, just the first tag (under your heading) ‘Cleopatra’ had me intrigued. Another great selection of things you have learned this week. I must walk round in a bubble as I am quite sure I don’t learn many things in a week!

    Time. That one word seems to fill me with terror. I can quite happily be dropping the kids at school and find myself running late to pick them up convinced that the time in between has vanished. I’m busy doing one thing or other but by the end of the day I don’t ever seem to have done enough – the laundry is still over spilling, dirty dishes in the sink, you get the idea. I make a rule now to take my watch off once the kids are home for the day as I just wish things could slow down. My baby will be 6 in a few weeks. How on earth is that possible?!

    Sorry, time, it appears, really annoys me 😀 I have a time joke for you –

    Why did the child throw the clock out the window?
    He wanted to see time fly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL love the joke!

      I know your situation with time and having found that you appear to have done nothing all day … because I lived that too. I can remember having a chest infection and dropping daughter No.2 at school, and coming home, sitting on the sofa for a while and waking up four hours later. Yet I swear that I only closed my eyes for the most a minute.

      I realised that I had only 2 hours left to do what I normally did in 6!!

      Don’t sweat the small stuff Hannah. Those dirty dishes will wait and they’ll stay pretty much the same. You’re children are only little for a short time. Take that time to hold their hands and actually memorise how their hand looks in yours. Memorise their voice at the age they are. Remember. Remember as much as you can … because, although you can take photographs, they’re ‘still’. Memories can move, and talk, and sigh, and smile in a totally different way. Enjoy them Hannah. Time will go by and carry on without you joining in with it’s rush.

      Oh … and I bet you learn far more than I do in a week … it’s just that I make a note of things which I could share on the blog here, which (hopefully) someone else might find interesting. I’m like a mini QI – only ‘live’. LOL (people of the UK will probably be the only people who will understand that. Sorry everyone else).
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Being in the farming business time really doesn’t matter much. You get up with the sun and go down with the sun. But, I have always been amazed that those before us, great grands , could do what they did with out the life saving things (haha) that we have and still have time to set on the porch and visit and share with neighbors and family. Can’t remember the last time a neighbor sat on my porch. I get disturbed with my mother when she says” I don’t have time for that.” We can always find time to do what is important to us. Always! If we make excuses it may not have been very important to begin with . With that said…” I just don’t have time to finish the dishes. I have to go keep the kids so their mom and dad can go finish their Christmas shopping. LOL. Love you Miss Cob.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Love you too Miss Bev.

      We all have time … we just get so wrapped up in ‘keeping to the clock’ because of *this* or *that*, that we forget to take the time to stop and smell the roses; stop and take in the view; stop to sniff the sunshne; stop to just breathe and be aware of the here and now.

      Hope Mum and Dad got everything on their list! (And that you’re still in one piece and not tied to a chair. LOL)
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Like

      • No chair but GT did get stuck up in a tree and it took an act of sheer will power to get him down. Then he turned around and said”Bebe, I was just kidding , I wasn’t really stuck. I think he really was and just didn’t want to admit it. Love that child.

        Liked by 1 person

          • They certainly improve my life right now. Santa came last night so I’m headed over there to see what all the fuss is about. Daddy Todd got called back to work early so Santa made a special visit.

            Liked by 1 person

                • Ohhh… I thought … well, for the sake of little children reading I won’t put what I thought, suffice to say I thought daddy had just got to pop into work and pop out again, and that Santa had visited while Daddy was popping.

                  I see exactly what you meant now. I sometimes forget the ‘mechanics’ of everyones families – who does what and when and where – and get mixed up.

                  Heck, (I’ll admite that) … I sometimes forget the mechanics of our own [extended] family – everyone is so widely spread, all over and all around the world. It can be difficult to keep up with what everyone is doing . . . and the older I get the more my ‘rememberer’ is becoming less reliable. lol.

                  But … I’m following the ‘plot’ now Beverly and can see exactly what you meant.

                  What a shame that his work life makes these sudden changes – but well done Mom and Dad for letting Father Christmas know, so that he could call especially early with the presents. 🙂

                  Like

  4. Good jokes! I’d love an ATM to be a time machine. Imagine, just standing there, taking out a tenner and then going back in time to when a tenner could buy you something decent?! Like a house. Maybe even just a weeks-worth of groceries, if we are less ambitious!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have this little joke with cashiers at the tills (like Tescos or Sainsbury) and after they’ve tried to get an item to register on the third pass of the bar code, I always say: “When I become Prime Minister of this country the first law I’m going to pass is that if an item doesn’t pass the scan on the third try, the customer gets the item for FREE. That will soon get the problem sorted out!”

      I follow this up with: “… and my second law would be that all house sales will be bar coded in the same way as a loaf of bread. Just think how much fun that’s going to be if you’re buying a house and it doesn’t register the bar code on the third pass!”

      Can you imagine! Awwww, that would be such fun.
      This is how things would work in my ‘IF ONLY WORLD’.

      You and I need to set out on an expidition to find this ‘If Only World’. I’ve a feeling that life would be rather beautiful there.

      Hugs and squidges ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Time is a funny thing. Some things take ages (I’m known for my impatience!) but other times you wonder where time has gone. My favourite time saying is ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. It’s so true! Have a lovely weekend. 😊 x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Mrs. Craft!
      Fabulous to see you. I too am someone who could do with an addition of the patience vibe. I have some … but I don’t have enough of it, and I find that I run out pretty quickly when dealing with someone who’s being a pain in the rear.

      Time does indeed fly when you’re having fun. Can you imagine all us blogging pals, out for an evening of meeting for the first time? Once the first few minutes of being unsure were over with, we’d have such a great time that a couple of hours would be gone in a flash!
      (I wonder if we’d be thrown out of somewhere, for giggling too much?! LOL)
      Sending love your way ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You have really used your time wisely….look at everything you have learned!
    To all the people who write “u” instead of “you”. . . What do you do with all the time you save? I think that one might be my favorite! I am going to ask my kids that question and see what they say.
    I am like you…I now need to make lists if I want to remember everything I need to do when running errands.
    I vote we toss the clocks out and just run on God’s time :)!
    You have a great weekend my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I second that ‘toss the clocks out’ – and agree 100% with ‘just run on God’s time’. His time is far more reliable.

      I too favour the U/you – ‘what do you do with the time you save?’ … but that’s just because I cannot abide the abuse our wonderful language is on the receiving end of nowadays. I’ll say no more on that subject for fear of me getting my soapbox out! lol.

      Wishing you too a great weekend, filled with smiles and love.
      ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      • soapboxes are not so bad…..As long as we don’t stay on them too long. We could be short stay and a few sentence soap boxers :).
        Think of all the new words you could teach from that soap box!! Ones that could be used in public.

        Liked by 1 person

        • aw Milk bottles! I wish I’d thought of that.

          Oooo… I gave you one for free there! lol.

          Say it:- “Milk Bottles” in the same way you’d say a really cross swear word, and you’ll realise what an awful lot you can say in those two innocent words.
          I taught my girls to say them … and I taught my friends daughter to say them too, so that she could get one over a bit of a bully girl in the playground. She said: “But they’ll just tell on me then, to the teacher”… I replied: “And how do you think they’re going to sound to the teacher when they say: “Please miss, Sarah said ‘milk bottles’ to me”.

          Her expression was a treat, and she burst into laughter.
          I heard a week later that it had worked its magic. LOLOL
          Sending love and squidges ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

          • I love that idea! I am going to try it when things get a little squirrely here at Christmas time. I may just throw it in as a term of amazement at some gift or other. However, that being said, if you hear I have been committed please come and break me out hahahahaha
            I laughed imagining your daughter’s look. Isn’t it great to impress the kiddoes (even when they were young.)

            Liked by 1 person

            • My sister in law taught my oldest son to say Honus Jonus when he was amazed. Jared might have been about 5. He made his own translation and it was not suitable for school…”Honus Penis” I have no idea why his brain did that. Unfortunately, the expression remains a family saying at certain times (thankfully within family circles.)

              Liked by 1 person

              • Oh my stars! LOLOLOL.

                Ok. since this is the time for admitting things …. Up to the age of 9 years old I was convinced that the song from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – “Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to work we go” … continued….. “with a shovel and a p*ick and a walking stick. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho…”…

                My father heard me singing it to myself one day and nearly had a heart attack, for where the * is, I had put the letter R. He calmly as possible told me that I was singing it wrong and that the word was actually PICK.

                I did no more than argue with him that no, HE was the one who got it wrong. He ended up calling my mother to come in and confirm that I was singing it incorrectly – and she said that people would laugh at me if they heard me singing the song wrong.

                At that tender age I had no idea what the word I was singing meant, so just thought it must be made up since I’d obviously heard it wrong.

                Many many years later, when I discovered what the word meant, I was totally mortified. (and still am now!)
                xxx

                Liked by 1 person

                  • Great? Oh My Stars!!! Greatly cringeworthy! LOL.
                    My father must have wondered what sort of daughter he was raising! LOLOL

                    Now I’m not a betting gal (normally) but I’ll bet you a bale of hay that you’re right, and you won’t ever listen to that song ever again without ‘hearing’ inside your head the words in the way I sang them as a child … and your smile will give away your guilty secret. LOLOL.
                    (I’m actually laughing out loud at the thought here! lol xxx

                    Liked by 1 person

                • I have no idea what I did to my two girls … they now keep saying that they ‘said’ or ‘did’ something that I used to say or did when they were little … and they seem so proud of it when they tell Dad that he’ll “never guess what I was doing the other day Dad. I was vacuuming the ceilings! HA!!! I’m turning into Mom!!!”

                  I kid you not.
                  They used to laugh at their mother for vacuuming the ceilings and couldn’t ever see why I did that. They now know that I had this ‘thing’ about cobwebs – so once or twice a month I would put the long pipe on the vacuum cleaner and vacuum each ceiling in each room, just before I vacuumed the curtains.

                  And now they’re doing the very same thing! LOLOLOL… guess who’s laughing now! lol

                  Liked by 1 person

  7. I like the ATM time machine joke. For me, time is flying at super sonic speed. I feel like someone made a mistake and we skipped a few years. My niece is graduating from high school and it feels weird.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Lynn.
      Ohhh YES! Children of relatives, growing up and making lives …. that’s just too much to deal with.

      I’ve also found that cousins who I used to play with regularly as a child, and then we (mom dad and myself) moved one way and their family moved another and although we saw each other at weddings and the odd party, it didn’t click with me at the time that they were growing up.
      Then … when I got married, my new husband and I moved many miles to our new home and seeing my cousins got less and less.

      I went to two of their weddings, but couldn’t make it to any of the others … so again, it didn’t click they were growing up. However finding out that some of them are now grandparents … well THAT was a heart stopper. Surely not? They’re still young things! My brain was saying. But my logic quickly told my brain that they were all around the same age I was, and I’m a Grammy so it was totally possible and probable that they were Grandparents too!

      That seemed very odd to me. I can still remember, as if it only happened last week, all of us going off with jam jars and little fishing nets, going to find frogspawn and ‘grow’ our own tadpoles. I can recall summer holidays (break in school) where we spent hours at each others houses, dressed in our swimming costumes and playing in the paddling pools, with the gardening hose, and spraying each other. Being able to all go off as a group, to the local park and play and play – the older children looking out for the younger ones, and always sticking together. Only returning home again when we all suddenly realised that we were starving hungry and our tummies were rummbling. lol.

      Aw such fun. I miss those days of no responsibilities…. and I know that my daughter (No.2) misses them too. For she said so in a text message to me about two weeks ago. Poor darling.

      Thank you so much for coming Lynn. It’s been fabulous chatting to you and sharing a coffee moment together.
      Have a blessed day ~ Cobs. x

      Like

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