Thank Heavens I’d written the password on a post it note & stuck it on my ‘puter!

 

Hello … I’m back!  I‘ve been away for a while.  M.I.A. (Missing In Action)  for what feels like years, and although I kept trying to pick up the blogging ropes again, real life kept  coming up with other stuff and *threw a spanner into my plans and thoroughly messed things up.

*’threw a spanner into . . .’ [normally ‘the works’] is a British term, used when something upsets your plans or messes around with anything you might be doing and generally puts a stop to your plans or ideas etc.

Where have I been and why?  Well … I’ve not been travelling the world (sadly).  I’ve stayed right where I am, – and I thankfully haven’t had Coronavirus or Covid 19 – so I count that as a massive blessing.   Although health problems did come into the equation.

Originally I lost my crafty mojo.  It was as if my brain had forgotten how to be creative! I have a craft room of amazing incredibleness, and couldn’t seem to be able to bring forth the creativeness which lives inside me 100% of the time.  So to have lost my mojo, for what felt like forever, was upsetting to the point of depressing.  How the heck did I lose my mojo?  It was attached to me like Peter Pans shadow was sewn to him by Wendy Darling.  

Then . . . I had a flare up of medical problems.  …   I suffer with the ‘amusing’ problem(s) of nerve damage, caused by a road traffic accident some years ago in which I injured my lower spine.  Added to that,  a beautiful combination, my body developed diabetic neuropathy a few years ago (another nerve damage thing) and these two things decided to gang up together in order to have a little fun of their own making, and it caused horrible havoc in my body for rather a long time.  Miserable pair of beggars. (grrr).

Then … with the belief that I am a Superwoman who can achieve ANYTHING I WANT, (I’m not and I can’t), I tried to shift the garden bench roughly 12 inches, by shoving it with my thigh.  The result of this unbelievable stupidity was a great big,  massively HOT, KABOOM,  felt in my lower spine, – reminding me that I’m not ‘Super’ anything, other than SUPER STUPID!  Which Mr.Cobs confirmed, with those exact words too!

Then … (as if that wasn’t enough), three weeks later, I only went and injured my knee by giving it a thoroughly good whacking on the corner of our big wooden bed.  “Darn it!“,  “Oh dear me!” and “For Goodness sake!”  were  sort of  the words which popped out of my mouth, …  followed by some tears.  Mr.Cobs called out an enquiry of:- …. “What the heck was that big bang?”  from the living room, to which I could only tearfully shout back:- “It was ME!”.

So anyway ….   ‘Real Life’ was also going on at the same time, with it’s Coronavirus Lock-down and social distancing;  Mothers Day;  A Grandchild’s Birthday (I’ve spent every birthday with him since he was born…  in fact, I was there when he was born!);   being confined to the house like a prisoner; etc etc.  The result was a situation of dreadful fed upness, and some things just had to go onto the back burner until I was ready to pick them up again.  So … that’s where I’ve been and that’s some of what kept me ‘busy’ and not blogging!

But anyhoo .  .  .  .  Moving forward  ...  I felt the desire to create something.  But it wasn’t the normal paper, paint, clay, card designing or any of the things I normally create.

I’d seen some really lovely creations made by Textile Artists and had the greatest desire to have a proper ‘go’ at this magical art form.  I had a bit of an idea about using textiles for things other than their intended use, as I’d done a short textiles course about twelve years ago.  But the important thing was that I wanted to try something.  I wanted to create.  My creativeness was putting in a phone call, and I answered the call! 

Sooooo – I am now officially a self taught Textile Artist.  I’m creating art works using fabric and textiles.

I’ve made some things which I want to share with you, but I haven’t taken any photos yet, so that’s my job for this week.

I’m also having a ‘go’ at writing a book.  Yup, me!  Some of you said I should write one, and I knew I had a book inside me, waiting to get out, and finally it’s happening.  It’s only at it’s very beginning – but that, according to a song I know – is a very good place to start!

It’s so lovely to be back chatting with you.  OH MY GOOD GARDEN CABBAGE!  I almost forgot …  during my ‘away from blog land’ time,  a knock came at the door one day and Mr.Cobs went to answer it.  It was a police lady.  She’d come to enquire about me.  Where I was? and How I was?  Was I there?  Could she see me, please?  Oh.My.Goodness!  – what had I done to cause the Police to come to the door asking to see me?!!!  Totally freaked me out!

I hobbled to the door with the help of two walking sticks  and the lovely Police lady reassured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but they had received an enquiry that they had to follow up on. Apparently someone via my blog and WordPress, had contacted the authorities and asked for someone to check on me and make sure I was still alive!

I have never felt so guilty for doing nothing than I did right at that moment!

I didn’t even know that you could ask the police to go and check up on someone in this sort of circumstance! 

I had to confirm it really was me by giving my date of birth, place of birth, and various other questions which I can’t now remember, and then she very quietly asked if  everything was OK at home?  Flippin’ heck… she thought Mr.C might have been knocking me about, or keeping me from blogging!   I laughed raucously  … and the police lady began to laugh too.  Well, the end result was that I told her I felt very guilty that valuable Police time had been wasted all because I hadn’t blogged for a while, and I couldn’t apologise enough to her for all this wasting of police time.

She was so sweet, and said that if they receive an enquiry like this, they have a duty to investigate.  She said that someone associated with WordPress and my blog had made the enquiry and she could now send re-assurances that I was indeed alive and it was merely real life and some health problems which were keeping me from blogging at that time.

So .. to whoever it was who made the initial contact with the police – I do hope that you received the confirmation that I was Ok and still alive and that life had simply been a bit of a trial!  Please let me know if it was you, so that I can be re-assured that your concerns were answered.

This all sounds like the last few months of absence have been dreadful, and in some ways they have …  but there have been wonderful moments too.  I had a significant birthday (ending in an 0), which, despite lock down, was so very lovely.  The nicest anniversary – with bunting put up in the garden and afternoon tea.  Some really beautiful, magical changes in our little garden.  Oh! … and … there has been a new addition to the family.  But …  I’ve blathered on for more than long enough, so I’ll tell you about that another time.

Right now … I’d better get going on some photographs so that I can share the evidence of actually being a ‘Textile Artist’!   (I’m sure I’ll still be working with papers, clay, paint and card again at some point so please don’t give up on me!).

In the meantime, I send my love and one huge bucket of squidges to each of you.

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Things I learned this Week.

Haaaapy Friday!

It’s February.  The month of  ❤  Lurve. ❤  (imagine I’m saying that with a French accent … it will sound so much better.)

Did you know:  That February is the third month of winter?  In the Southern Hemisphere February is a summer month the equivalent of August …  so  G’day down there.  Hows your summer?

• Also …  In Old English, February was called Solmonath (Mud month) or Kale-monath (Kale or cabbage month).  So Kale and Cabbage is on the menu for the rest of the month!
•  Americans (I’m informed) have trouble with the word February – last year, a press release from the White House consistently spelt it as Feburary.
• ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is the only Shakespeare play that mentions February.
• The birthstone for February is amethyst.
• The ancient Greeks believed that amethyst protected the wearer from drunkenness.

So … what have I learned this week?

Well …  I’ve learned that what I thought were just ‘quirks’, aren’t.   I really do seem to have some sort of OCD problems going on.    I’ve always thought I was just weird – or ‘pernickety‘, as my Grandma used to say.

Silly things can make me feel uncomfortable.  Sort of ‘wriggly’.  A picture hanging at an angle.  I’d have to straighten it up.  HAVE TO.  There is no choice about it.  If I walked out of a room and left it …  within about 3 minutes you’d find me back in that room straightening that picture. (even if it wasn’t even my house!)  But I just put that down to me being a tidy person.  Nothing wrong with that, eh?

If venetian blinds aren’t quite level … eventually they’d drive me nuts and I have to stand up and go over to sort them out.

Couldn’t bear it in my old doctors surgery when I saw that the bead chain thing on the bottom of the vertical blinds had come ‘un-hooked’ from one of the slats.  I waited until the seat by the blinds had become free, then moved over and fixed it.  (Daughter No. 1 wasn’t overly impressed mind).

But … this week there was an article which Mr.Cobs found in an on-line newspaper which he was reading and he told me about it, showing me some of the pictures.  Of course, I had to go to the website and have a better look!  Worst thing I did.  I should have closed my eyes.  Gone off and done something to take my attention away.  But I didn’t.  I looked!

The pictures I share with you here, are a selection from that article.  Let’s see how you get along with these.

I’ll start you off with a gentle one …

1)  Does that ‘corner‘ upset you at all …  or is it just a clever bit of design?

2)  You’ve sharpened your pencils.  You look at what a great job you did, … only…  you didn’t.  Is this going to upset you?  Do you feel like you want to reach into the computer screen and grab them so that you can do a better job?

3)  Can you see the problem here?  Look at the bottom of the post, and where it finishes on the corner of the step.  Hmmm.  Could you live with that?  Or would it … DRIVE YOU NUTS EVERY SINGLE DAY?

 

4)  Now I know that hole in the dashboard isn’t for your cups of coffee.  You probably know that hole isn’t for cups of coffee.  So – let’s pretend  …  You climb into the car.  How long could you live with that cup of coffee (or maybe it’s coke) living in that hole?  I’d last about 9 seconds.  Yes seriously.

Ok … let’s move the goal posts and take this one step further into madness  ….

5)  Look at this photograph.  Don’t look away.  LOOK AT IT.  How long could you live with those handles not being level and those doors not fitting or level? 

Are you starting to feel your level of comfort shifting at all?

6)   Imagine that you have to walk past this door every day, twice a day.  Once on going out, and once on coming home.  How fast would you have to walk past this door, with your face set to ‘stone’ and your eyes staring hard at the pavement, in an effort not to be drawn to even glancing in the direction of the door?

Are you beginning to get a sort of itchy feeling going on?  Feeling restless?

7)   You use the restroom, and this is what you face when you go to wash your hands.  There are THREE sinks.  Why are there FIVE towel dispensers?  And why, if they felt the need to put FIVE paper towel dispensers over those three sinks, did they have to put them so …  ‘creatively’ on the wall??  OH … AND DO THEY KNOW THAT THE DARN BIN NEEDS EMPTYING???  [sigh.  grrrrrrrr!]

8)   It was ‘right’ at some point.  When they first did the laying of the cobbles and the pavers, that manhole cover was done so that the pavers and the cobbles all matched.  However …. at some point, someone lifted that manhole cover to tend to something.  But when they put that cover back, they didn’t put it back correctly.  THIS would SERIOUSLY hiss me off SOOooo much that I’d be begging Mr. Cobs to lift it and put it right.    What about you?

 

Have we found your level of ‘un-acceptable’ yet?  What number of photograph got to you?

9)   You had a new staircase put in…  but after the guys finished and left, you had an uncomfortable feeling about this first flight of stairs.  What the devil was wrong with it?  Something was wrong ….    Shall I give you a clue?   Ok … CLUE:  5 down.  Look at 5 down.

And finally …  I’ve left this photograph until last because …  well, for me at least,  this is the one which is probably THE most serious one of all.  This is the one which would get me using the word:  DIVORCE!  Either from himself or from either daughter.   Brace yourself …

WHY???   Why would any sane person do this?  This isn’t normal behaviour.  Not for me.  Whoever did this …. I would have to have them committed. It’s not the behaviour of a person whose brain is functioning on any normal levels.  If they didn’t want the ‘crust’, then just cut a slice in a normal fashion, then cut off the crust and dispose of it into the bin – or put it on the bird table for the birds!

These photographs, although featured in an on-line Newspaper article, can be found on a website called   Bored Panda   …  but Bored Panda doesn’t just have these sorts of photos.  They have sections for practically everything.   Check out the  Little Polish Village  – where everything is covered in colourful flower paintings!   Oh … and while you’re there,  do take a peep at the  Two Disabled Rescue Cats  – which is not in the least bit sad.  Watch the video and you’ll smile for the rest of the day!

❤

Anyhooo ...  Although I’ve learned a few things this week …  I wanted to share this OCD thing with you so that you could have a bit of fun with it too.

❤

So I guess that the only thing left is ….  The Jokes!   Brace yourself ….

❤

Bob left work one Friday evening.  But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

❤

Q.What has a bottom at its top?   —  A. A leg.

❤

Q.  What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?   – – –  A.  A bah-humbug

❤

Q.   How do you fix a broken Tuba?  —  A.  With a Tuba Glue!

❤

Q.  What game would you play with a Wombat?  —  A.  Wom.

❤

Q.  How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? —  A.  He felt his presents.

Q.  What do Cats eat for Breakfast?  —  A.  Mice Krispies

❤

And those are the jokes folks!

❤

I hope your week has been a good one, and that no gremlins got in there and spoilt anything.  However … if they did – you have to just remind yourself that sometimes we need a gremlin or two just to make our brains work out the way to deal with those little divils.  And ..  we learn by them.

❤

I hope your weekend is relaxed and happy.  With a little love sprinkled around the place, and a few smiles to warm your heart.  Remember to share your own smile with someone else.  YOU might just change someone elses day, or even life.  We could all do with as many smiles as we can get.  So share yours!

❤

Sending loving thoughts, happy wishes and loads of squidges ~

Things I’ve Learned This Week.

Aw, hello!  I’m so happy to see you!  Sit yourself down and I’ll pour you a coffee.  I’ve got some things to tell you about which I’ve learned this week, and which I think will blow your mind!  There is a ‘theme’ to this weeks learned things;  they’re all based around time.

I’m going to get started straight away because I’m desperate to tell you this first thing, which I learned earlier this week as it really surprised me . . . until I began to think about it,  then I could see how obvious it was!  ….  So …  Seat belts on?  Packed Lunch?  Drink at your elbow?  Please extinguish all cigarettes  –  ’cause they make me cough.  Take a deep breath, pinch your nose and lets all jump in together…  Ready?  1,  2,   GO!

Did you know . . .  that Cleopatra lived closer – in time – to the first Moon landing, than to the building of the Great Pyramid?  No, me neither! 

Cleopatra was born 2,500 years after the Great Pyramid a Giza was built,  but only 2,000 years before the first lunar landing was achieved. 

I also learned this week ….  that of all the people in history that have reached 65 years of age,  half of them are living right now.  (think about that one for a second.  Let it sink in.  It blew me away)

USHI OKUSHIMA (pictured above)  was the oldest resident of Ogimi, the most elderly community in Japan.  Born on August 7,  1901,  and when last interviewed she still dabbed perfume behind her ears before she took to the floor for traditional Japanese dances.  Afterwards she sipped the local firewater.  Ushi was born when Japan had only recently seen off the Shogun warlords.

This fabulous lady had been filmed by every major news organization in the world,  from the Discovery Channel,  CNN, and the  good old BBC.  She was like the Dalai Lama of longevity.

So many people fear getting old,  but perhaps if they could have seen this lady, they’d look forward to it.

Ushi would wake at 6 a.m., make a breakfast of vegetable miso soup, and then went out for a stroll.  Every afternoon she’d eat lunch with her daughter, and her grand children and friends came over to visit. In the evenings she’d eat a dinner of mostly vegetables, drink a cup of mugwort sake, and went to bed.  What was her longevity secret?  “Work hard, drink mugwort sake before bed, and get a good night’s sleep,” Ushi said.

Actually, asking an old person how she got to be so old is like asking a tall person how she got so tall.  They don’t really know.  But her life did offer a few clues. For example, Ushi’s day was full of social interaction.  A Harvard study showed that the seniors with the most social ties were three times less likely to die during the study period than those who had the least social connections.  So make time for your family and friends, and you just might add a few years to your life.

I’ve searched for up-to-date information regarding this lady and could only find that it’s believed that Ushi Okushima, passed away sometime in 2010/11 at the age of 109 years.   I found this information only in one place, so can’t say for sure that it’s correct, but I found no recent mention of her other than this.

If you’d like to read a little more about Ushi, you can find a fascinating written piece here —> National Geographic Magazine  <— the link will open in a new tab –   when it loads, if you don’t want to read the initial ‘stuff’ (which is actually rather a good read),   just scroll down to about half way down the page,  and you’ll find the piece about Ushi Okushima.

Japan, the land of the rising sun,  has become the land of the setting sun with staggering speed.  As recently as 1984, Japan had the youngest population in the developed world, but by 2005 it had become the world’s most elderly country.  Soon it will become the first country where most of the people are over 50 years old.

This is partly because Japanese people live longest:  men can expect to reach 79 and women 86.  It is also partly because the Japanese have almost given up having babies:  the fertility rate is just 1.2 children per woman,  far lower than the 2.1 needed to maintain a steady population.  The rest of the world is following Japan’s example.  In 19 countries, from Singapore to Iceland, people have a life expectancy of about 80 years.  Of all the people in human history who ever reached the age of 65,  half are alive now.  Meanwhile, women around the world have half as many children as their mothers.  And if Japan is the model, their daughters may have half as many as they do.

I learned this week that if the history of the Earth were compressed to a single year, modern human beings would appear on December the 31st at around 11.00pm.

Y’know .. time is something which bugs me.  Everything revolves around it and it kind of makes me cross that we give it such importance.  We do everything by the clock.  We get up, by the clock.  Go to work, by the clock.  Be somewhere, by the clock.  Eat by the clock.  We’re always racing time.  Chasing time.  Looking for more time.  Needing more time.  Begging for more time.  Lose track of time.  Wanting to stop time.  Pause time.  Time is like this monster.  Like a living dinosaur of our age.  It’s fearful and down right annoying.

So … this led me to thinking about how I could perhaps make time something less than it is.  Maybe have a little gentle fun with it …. and here’s what I came up with:

If time is money . . .  are ATM’s time machines?

If time waits for no man,  . . .  is time is perhaps a woman?

When you think about it…  We are all time travellers – moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

To all the people who write “u” instead of “you”. . .  What do you do with all the time you save?

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years,  and you sit there and act like everything is fine!

When your kids are little you’re a superhero.  When they’re teens you’re a super villain.  After that, your only power is invisibility.  We are the REAL Harry Potter Wizards – for we don’t need a Cloak of Invisibility!

If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday.  I want to exchange it for another Friday.

By the time a man realises that his father was right,  he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Stephen Hawking says we’ve got about 1,000 years to find a new place to live.  That isn’t even enough time for me to pack!

In 20 years time,  I bet there’s going to be a college course called eye contact.

Apparently, people over the age of 55 are becoming antisocial-psychics.   They can see ahead of time that they won’t want to talk to you.

Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.

And . . .  a few regular jokes …

A man went down the local supermarket, and said, “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”,  the lady behind the desk said, “Those are pickled onions”.

Four fonts walk into a bar – the barman says “Oi – get out!  We don’t want your type in here”

The other day I sent my friend a huge pile of snow.  I rang her up,  and said  “Did you get my drift?”

Again, Monday arrived and became Friday the next day, and I realised someone stolen the days in between.  I used to laugh at my Mum when she used to complain about how time passed so quickly the older she got…  and yet, here I am and I now totally understand what she meant.

I don’t understand HOW time is passing so quickly.  Years ago I could get up in the morning,  plait (braid) hair, make packed lunches, make breakfasts, sing songs to entertain, read the book which the littlest one should have read the night before, got two wriggly, giggly girls washed and dressed and looking fabulous, and off to school in perfect time with all the kit they needed for the day, and then come home and set about cleaning the house, doing the washing and hanging the washing on the line, ironing,  and preparing things for the evening meal.  After this I’d busy myself painting (upcycling) furniture,  or crafting in some way or another.  Then I’d pack things away, change my clothes and go and collect little ones from two different schools, bring them home, feed them their snacks, read their books, help with homework, sing songs, entertain, play with dolls and dolls houses, ‘eat’ plastic food which daughter No.2 had cooked and served up, have ‘tea’ (water) out of her teapot and generally just have a great time being a mum.  And whilst doing that I’d be cooking our evening meal without accidentally putting a child into the oven instead of the joint of meat!

If you asked me to do these things now I’d ask you how many days I’d got to do them all in.  I have no idea how I managed to do the things I did in a day, and still have time to take my mum on rides out in the car, visit her, go with her to the doctors or take her to the hospital.  Bake their favourite things for when they came home.  Make curtains.  Clothes.  Visit friends, arrange play dates, and keep up with the out of school classes that my little girls attended without ever forgetting them or leaving them waiting for me!

Now-a-days –  my memory is shot to pieces.  I think I wore it out keeping track of our two little girls and all the things they did.  saxophone (Saxomaphone as we called it) lessons;  Violin (Vile din) lessons;  Trampoline class;  Youth Group at the local Theatre;  Gym Club;  Keyboard Lessons;  Red Cross Volunteer Training;  oh, on and on … and I could remember everything, in my head!  Now though, everything has to be written down, and Dog Forbid that I might lose the piece of paper with a note of something written on it!

On paper, it says I’m getting older.  In my heart I’m still 27 years old and can multitask as a World Champion Sport!

Aw, anyhoo!  . . .  Thank you so much for coming to visit and sharing some TIME with me (see!! there it is again… ‘time’!).   But tell me …  how does time affect you?  The lack of it?  Too much of it?  Time passing too fast?  Too slow?  Tell me how you deal with that divil Time which seems to wrap its fingers around our days and dictate how we are to go about leading out lives.

Have a truly wonderful weekend.  Oh … and before I go …  if you have time off work over the next few of days,  remind yourself every now and again that  . . . .  Time doesn’t exist.  Clocks exists.

Do what I do.  I leave my wristwatch (and my mobile phone) at home sometimes, just so that I can’t keep looking at them.  Instead,  I just go with the flow.  If I’m hungry I eat.  If I’m ready to go home, I go.  But if I want to stay where I am and enjoy myself, then that’s what I do.  I say  ‘stuff time!’,  and I do it my way.  You do it YOUR way.  Don’t be a slave to  ‘time’.

Have a truly blessed day my friend. 

 

 

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