Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday!  . . .  Apparently it’s now officially winter – as far as ‘weather reports’ are concerned.  I don’t know why this happens or the reasons for this.  I only heard it on the weather report this morning but I was so busy taking in this information and trying to work out if I’d heard it correctly that I didn’t hear the reasoning behind it.  But there you have it.  It’s winter.

They are reporting that the UK set for the heaviest snowfall for years, and the Long-range forecast warns that the Winter of 2016 is going to be THE BIG FREEZE!   Saying that Britain is facing the heaviest snowfalls in years this winter, as the country’s first icy blast arrives soon, and it will unleash (apparently)  four months –  (FOUR MONTHS!?) –  of heavy snow and sub-zero temperatures.  I read that forecasters have announced this,  and they added:  “expect a very ‘exciting’ December with the possibility of a White Christmas this year“.  OK….  so  NOW I’M GETTING EXCITED! 

The last white Christmas I remember was in the 1980’s …  so this would be such a huge event and I’m already feeling the excitement of it.  In fact … so much so that I’ve even bought a woolly bobble hat!   (If you read one of my posts a few weeks ago, you’ll already know that I look like an extraordinarily comical, female, over-sized unwanted 8th Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves  when wearing ANY hat.  So this new bobble hat is a BIG thing for me to have bought!).

It’s a chilly, cold wind which is already blowing around outside.  This morning, here where we live in the South of Great Britain,  it was minus 6.  Mr. Cobs informed me of this when he came back in the house from letting the chickens out to play.  I believed entirely that it was minus 6, for I could feel that minus 6 blow right through our little cottage when he opened the door to come back in!  It made me want to hibernate!  Brrrr!

Oh anyhoo…  we’re here to find out what I’ve learned this week so let’s get on with it, shall we?

This weeks Lessons in the Key of Life seem to have been (in a lot of circumstances)  about things which start with the letter H!  I have no idea why, but I thought I’d go with it and share this Letter H stuff with you.  Hats on?  Had your shots?  Here we go …

Henge Stonehenge to be precise.  I learned that Stonehenge was in private ownership until 1916, when it was bought,  on the spur of the moment by Sir Cecil Chubb, who was the owner of a local lunatic asylum,  as a present for his wife. Three years later she gave the site to the nation. 

Now this posed a question for me.  Why would a chap buy his wife some big stones which weren’t of the diamond variety?  Did he think this would earn him brownie points?  Well … the fact that she gave this gift away just three years later, must surely have told him something.

So, in the interests of happy Christmas days to come, may I make a suggestion to all the fabulous chaps who read this Friday post (and I know there are a few of you because I have the class register with your names clearly shown on it) ….  Here’s my tip for Christmas Gifts for the fabulous women in your life.   If you’re struggling to find something she’ll be happy to receive,  I truthfully think that if you go by this one rule, you’ll probably strike the right chord:  Buy:-  Something with a Hallmark on it.

You can thank me later.

Hypnotism.  Did you know that:  English writer – Charles Dickens’ marriage broke down partly because of his obsession with Hypnotism Now this surprised me, because if you read a little bit of information about Mr. Dickens you’d find a whole lot more stuff which would and could have broken down his marriage way before this obsession!

I learned this week that:  Apparently Chickens can be hypnotised.   From what I learned:  The record period for a chicken remaining in a hypnotic state is 3 hours 47 minutes.  

Holidays.  Let’s start with a Holiday inspired joke, just to lighten the mood, shall we?

The girl at the Ryanair check-in desk said,   –   “Window or aisle?”
I replied,  –  “Window or you’ll what?”

fnar fnar!

 I have to explain –  here in Great Britain (at least), a ‘Holiday’ is what people of the USA call a ‘Vacation’.  Where-as Christmas is NOT a holiday to the folk of the UK. Christmas is exactly as it says.  It’s CHRISTMAS – and we don’t call it anything but that.

So now we know that  ….

I learned this week that popular Holiday island Hawaii was discovered by Captain Cook in 1778 and named the Sandwich Islands in memory of his patron, the Earl of Sandwich. On landing, he and every man on his crew became completely constipated: one man suffered for 44 days in a row. The men became the first Westerners to witness the traditional Hawaiian sport of surfing.  Cook was murdered in Hawaii in 1779.

The Hawaiian State flag is the only US flag to feature a Union Jack.  It also has eight red white and blue stripes representing the eight main Hawaiian islands.

The ‘wiki’ in Wikipedia is Hawaiian for ‘fast’.

Here’s a question for you: 

I want those of you who have had Haemorrhoids to put your hand up.  Go on.  No one is going to see you, you’re all alone!

Those of you who didn’t put your hands up . . .  are fibbers!

Haemorrhoids : everyone has them!  I learned this week, from watching a TV programme at about 2am in the morning, (sleep escaped me), that EVERYONE has haemorrhoids (UK spelling).  They’re apparently like little cushions in the walls of your B.T.M. and live there quite happily.  However … something happens to upset them, and that’s when they become a problem.  It could be childbirth, carrying a little extra weight, ‘straining’, or even, apparently, a sneeze can cause them to inflame.  However – that old wives tale that sitting on a radiator gives you piles or haemorrhoids, is exactly that.  An old wives tale.  There’s nothing to prove that this causes the problem.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the final H of our ‘What I’ve Learned This Week’ list…..  Happiness.  Or Happiness in the form of Jokes, to be precise.  Are you ready for a chuckle?

Q)  What’s green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? 

A)  A pool table.

Q)  What did the Pirate say when he turned 80?

A)  Aye Matey.

I tried to catch fog yesterday.    Mist.

Q)  Why does a Chicken Coop have two doors?   A)  If it had four, it’d be a chicken sedan.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”. . . . 
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”  . . . . .
Doctor: “Nine.”

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.

A male friend met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. He rang her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

How do you make a tissue dance?  You put a little boogie into it.

Where does a sheep go for a haircut?  To the baaa baaa shop!

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?  Because it has a silent pee.

And finally ….  I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

Thank you so much for coming and having a coffee with me.  I love seeing you here.
Have a wonderful day, doing whatever it is that you’ll be doing.  Remember … you have a choice of what sort of day you have.  Choose a Good one!
Oh …   and have a fabulous weekend.  May you find peace and rest, and maybe a few smiles along the way.

Sending squidges to you in your corner,  from me in mine.  ~

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Things I’ve Learned This Week!

Happy Friday all. We’ve survived another week!

But .. I seemed to wake on Monday morning and by the time I’d showered, got dressed and done my hair, it was Friday!  Someone is stealing time and I’m going on a mission to find the beastly boy who’s doing this!  (It’s a boy.  I know it’s a boy.  Don’t ask me how, I just feel it,  and I know it’s a boy).

Shall we dive into my diary and find out what I’ve learned and am wiser because of, this week?  Seat belts on, I’m unlocking the fancy lock on the cover of my diary ...ready?  …. in we go   . . .

I learned this week  . . .  that I have too many clothes and I don’t wear half of them. Now just stop and think about what I’ve just said.  Chaps … this is a gal talking and she’s just said she’s got too many clothes.  Yup, you read it rightGirls …  I’ve just told all your men that a girl can have too many clothes.  When your man points this out to you remember to say:  “Yes but that’s Cobs, and her husband is a millionaire.”  I’m only giving you that ‘get out clause’  so that you don’t hate me for telling the chaps that I have too many clothes.  (N.B.  Mr.Cobs isn’t a millionaire.  I have access to his wallet, his pockets, our bank account is joint,  and … I’ve had up every floorboard in this place and found nothing.  Definitely NOT a millionaire.)

I’ve learned this week  that there is only one particular Christmas Advertising Video this year which makes me cry.

Here in the UK  (from mid November’ish’)  various different (big) companies release their Christmas videos and it’s become a bit of a thing to try to out-do the other companies for the best video.  Normally, it’s John Lewis who win hands down.  They make some really magical Christmas videos which melt my (and an awful lot of others) hearts.  However this year, their video just makes me howl with laughter and joy.

BUT …  there is one video which seems to (at the moment) have passed by unnoticed by some folks here, but for me, it’s the one which turns me into a big girly wreck, crying, sniffing, dabbing with a tissue and wanting to watch it again – even though I know it will make me cry all over again.  (I’ve so far watched it six times, and after each one, I’ve cried like a baby).  I have to share this one with you.  Guys might not ‘get it’ … but I’m pretty certain that most ladies will….  –   it’s only just over a minute long  (and totally child safe in case you have one of those in the room with you) 

So…  are you crying?  Did it make you cry? ….  Almost cry?  …  Not cry at all???

I’ve also learned this week .…  that some Craft Companies expect their customer to be clairvoyant when they don’t send you an item which is clearly shown on a delivery note, which they’ve enclosed in the parcel along with all the other items you ordered at the same time.

Customers are apparently expected to automatically know  that because these companies haven’t included *that* item in the parcel,  it’s not that they’ve forgotten to pack it in with the rest of the order,  but that they’re waiting for it to come back into stock.  And when you phone them up to tell them who you are, what the order number was, and which item it is which is missing,  their attitude is as if you should have known in the first place and you’re wasting their time by phoning.

This forces me to ask …  EXACTLY  HOW  DIFFICULT  IS  IT –  to simply write on the delivery note:  “To Follow” or words to that effect?

CRAFT COMPANIES  take note:  …  I’m going to begin naming and praising very soon, the companies which I’ve shopped at, or with,  which have given me good or excellent service.

BUT   I’m also going to begin naming and shaming  those companies who need to pull their socks up;  buck up their act;  or generally  GET WITH THE PROGRAMME!

Give good service, get more custom.  Give poor service, customers will shop elsewhere. It’s as simple as that.

Crafters chat to other crafters,  face to face, social media or on their Blogs,  and they share their experiences with and of particular companies.  Don’t lose out on free advertising by giving crafters bad service.

I’ve also learned this week …  That a crafter shouldn’t ever think that they’re great at something just because they’ve been doing it for a while. Even crafters who have been crafting for longer than they care to admit to being alive,  can still be the complete opposite of a genius  and burn her fingers on the bally heat gun;  cover herself in ink which won’t wash off and makes her hands and nails look like she’s a potato farmer with no shovel;   and moves things around in her craft room to make it easier for herself,  then can’t find the blasted things she’s moved when she needs them a day after she moved the blasted things in the first &£%*>^  place!!!

And that same Crafter can suddenly remember at 10pm one night that she needs a particular type of card for the following day,  then frantically goes through everything she has in her craft room trying to find inspiration and at 11.20pm finally gives up, telling herself she’ll look in the morning,   knowing all the time that she may as well just go to the shop and buy whatever they have  because she’s obviously a simpleton with a noodle for a brain and she’ll never be able to make anything ever again so she might as well sell all her equipment in her craft room right now damn it and be done with it!

…… clunk.  screeeeeech.  clunk.  [sound soapbox being put away]

I’ve also learned  that people are some of the nicest things God invented.

When you give people a reason to be lovely, they will (more often than not), be lovely.  When you give them a reason to care, they will (more often than not) care.  When you show them a need which you have to get them involved in praying for someone they maybe have never met before, don’t know and haven’t even heard of that particular persons blog before …  These people will see that their own prayer or ‘wish’ or hope,  could be the one that makes the difference and will pray, or wish, or hope and push that feeling out into the ether.  And they’ll show their support by leaving a few words for that person to read so that they see that they’re not alone.  People care.  People care enough to make an effort for a person they don’t even know.  People care enough to try.  People are hoping. Wishing.  Praying,  for a positive outcome.

I hope it’s ok for me to let you know, and I don’t think that she’ll mind me sharing with you   ….  I had a very short email chat with Michelle today and she said: …  “the outpouring of love and support meant so much, and came at perhaps my lowest point”.

Thank you to those wonderful people who left her a message of support,  who prayed,  who wished,  and/or hoped.  Each and every one of you made a difference.  Sometimes, just knowing that people are rooting for you, praying for you, wishing you well … or are just on your side, is all it takes to give someone the strength to keep on keeping on.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and doing what you did.  (If you left a message for her on her blog and it hasn’t appeared yet, it isn’t that you’ve been forgotten, things are getting done as and when they can be, as you would expect).  

But from me,   many, many thanks xxx  Bless you all. How brilliant you are.  I love you. 

And … finally…

Since I always try to leave you with something funny to smile about …. 

I mentioned a few paragraphs ago about the John Lewis Christmas Video for this year which makes me laugh ….  I share it with you here  (don’t fret, it’s only a little over two minutes long – and again, totally child safe)

 

…..  and in case that wasn’t quite enough . . .

nobell-prize

And a few silly but funnies …  ….

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will . . . Let it go.  Let it go.
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver
Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A complete waist of time

Well, that’s me done and dusted.  I’ve fessed up, taught you what life and taught me, and given you some jokes to make you smile.  Yes, the oldies are the besties.
Have a truly wonderful Friday, whatever you’re doing.  May the wind blow a little softly, if it has to blow at all.  May the rain be gentle, if it has to rain.  And may your day be filled with happiness and smiles, dotted throughout the hours.   Be kind to someone today.  Say something nice.  Admire their shoes.  Like their hair.  Tell them they’ve lost weight (even if they haven’t – insist that you think they have, just a little).  Let’s do it to them before they do it to us.  (be kind that is).

See you next time.  In the meantime,  I’m sending squidges,  to you there in your corner,  from me here in mine.

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What I’ve Learned this Week.

Welcome to the Cobwebs Airlines.  I hope you’re going to enjoy your flight.  Take off your shoes, socks, and nylons, and do up your seat belt.  Take off is about to begin…

To the left you’ll see see what I’ve learned this week.  To the right … you’ll see the end of the sentences and paragraphs.  Ok… hold hands everyone!  We’re taking off!  . . .

One or two of our TV channels here (in the UK) have begun to show Christmas films.  Not all day every day you understand – (however, saying that Sky Christmas on Virgin 410 seem to be doing something along those lines) but because of this I came to realise, last Sunday (6th November), that no matter how many times I may have seen some of my favourite Christmas movies, I never tire of seeing them every year.

They turn up like far off family visitors, kind of unexpected in a way, but once you settle down together you actually begin to enjoy the fun of them being there, and the warmth they bring to your heart and home.

I’ve learned a beautiful lesson from these Movies – that being:   I never tire of Christmas movies that Mr.Cobs and I watched with our girls when they were little.

Those little girls are now very much grown up  –  one in her late 20’s and the other approaching her mid 30’s –  both with families of their own.  However, in a tiny corner of my heart, they live on as the little girls they once were.  I can recall their giggling laughs.  Their squeals of joy.  Their little girl footsteps on the stairs.  And I miss those girls so very much.  I miss how their tiny hands fitted into the palm of my hand.  I miss how they would jump all over me if I was on the sofa. And I miss wrapping them and myself up warmly, with our Wellington Boots on, and going out in a howling gale in the winter, so that they could experience that feeling of the wind rushing past them, making them catch their breaths.  Seeing leaves flying high into the air and dancing on the wind.  I miss their little rosy cheeks when we got back in the house again, and how they thought that the best thing in the world was drinking chocolate to warm them up again.

This week I also learned that:  My sense of fun is very much alive and living happily in my inner child;  and my inner child is in more evidence at Christmas than at any other time.

I’ve learned this week …  that little Starlings (birds) are cheeky chappies.

the-starling
A cheeky Starling, taken by Mr.Cobs.

We’d gone to the Harbour side, here where we live, to sit and watch the boats, yachts, and various other modes of water transport which we see there.  Mr. Cobs had taken some cheese biscuits with him and we didn’t notice but …. we were being watched. Obviously, the time was right and bravery won, and our ‘watcher’ fluttered up off the floor and landed purposefully on the wing mirror, next to the open window of Mr.C.   Mr. Cobs fed him a morsel of biscuit, which he took from his hand, and jumped down onto the floor to eat.  A moment later, he was back, asking if it was at all “possible to have a little more please?”  Mr. Cobs gave him another tidbit of biscuit.  Again, he jumped down to eat his biscuit.  A moment later he was back … obviously feeling rather proud of himself and a little braver this time.  Mr Cobs offered him another tidbit and he was just about to take it when …. two other Starlings ambushed the little brave bird and pushed him off the wing mirror!  What a darn cheek!

Mr. Cobs popped his head out of the window and saw that the little Starling had managed to keep his bit of biscuit and was eating it on the floor, next to the car, but Mr. Cobs pulled his head in and pressed the button to wind the window up.  We decided that it was time to leave before we were invaded by a large bunch annoyed little birds, all demanding biscuits!  eeek!

I also learned this week ….  that I have a Deviated Septum.

I’ve been suffering for about 2 years now with ‘nose problems’ which led me to thinking that I must have a sinus infection which wouldn’t go away.

I’d had the problem for about twelve months before I finally went to the doctor.  I’m not a natural Doctor visitor.    I was sent to see a lovely lady specialist.  She took details, asked questions and then, (after asking of course) popped a tube/light and maybe a camera thing up my nose.  I have no idea what it looked like for I closed my eyes.  I didn’t want to see it because that way I couldn’t imagine what it was doing and I wouldn’t be scared! 

She told me I would need to have a CT Scan, but in the meantime she gave me a long course of super strength antibiotics,  and said I was to get the receptionist at the desk to make another appointment with her, and one for the CT scan.

I took the course of antibiotics and . . .  they worked!   It was so wonderful to be able to breathe again.  I could sniff up my nose.  I could talk without sounding like I had a heavy cold.  I could speak a whole sentence without getting out of breath and having to puff and pant like I smoked a hundred cigarettes a day.

If only I could now get rid of these blasted headaches then life would be so much nicer.

My GP knew about the headaches.  I’d had x-rays of my head and they apparently showed nothing.  A doctor at the big main hospital suggested I was suffering with migraines.  She cheerfully bounced around the room with a huge grin on her face and suggested that I try to relax more and get rid of the stress in my life.  I thanked her for her time and left.  My exact thoughts were …  “Well what a total pillock she is!”

I had to report back to my Doctor two weeks later.  When I told him what had been said he actually laughed a sort of  “hurrrhfff” noise.

I’ve suffered these crushing,  seriously debilitating,  whole head pain filled,  headaches  for about 20 months or so.  I don’t get them every single day … but I get them for about 10 or 11 days in a row, then I might get a day off or sometimes two, and then they’ll come back again.

I wake up in the morning and my head hurts like I’ve been held by the ankles and spun round by someone who’s purposely hit my head up against a wall, many times.  I can’t lie down because of the pain.  I can only sit upright, in a dark room, with no noise, curtains drawn, sunglasses on, and just  s.i.t.   I can’t hold a conversation.  I can only answer with a ‘yes’ or a’ no’, or ‘ok’,  but nothing more.  And I’m totally incapable of remembering anything said to me during the time that the pain is worst – so anytime from around 5am to 2.30pm (the times vary –  but an average day would be from around 7.30am to 1.30/2pm). [sigh]

When I went back this week to see the lady specialist she told me that after seeing the CT scan, and after showing it to her colleague (a surgeon) they both agree that I have a Deviated Septum.  She explained what it is …  and I nodded and understood what she was saying.  For now, she’s given me another prescription for the strong antibiotics which she gave me before, the one’s which worked.  But, she told me that this was something that needed surgery in order to put it right.

When I got home from the hospital I said to Himself … I’ve just had a thought ….  I wonder if this could be the cause of my headaches???  Darn it!  I should have asked her!  What a dope!  Mr.C suggested I look on the internet… so I did.

Guess what I learned.  . . . This Deviated Septum could be the cause of my headaches!

You’ll never guess what else I learned ....   The website said that one of the things which could cause a Deviated Septum was an injury to the nose.  OH.  MY.  GOODNESS!!!  My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as a memory of how this may have happened came rushing back . . .

About two years ago, Little Cobs was sat on my lap and suddenly threw himself backwards, stopping with a BANG against my body and winding me – but his head travelled further backwards  and he head butted me on the face with the back of his head.  His little head hit my nose with so much force that I really thought he’d broken my nose!  I grabbed a tissue thinking that my nose must be gushing blood – but nothing.  No bleeding at all.  My nose and face ached for days afterwards, but there was no swelling and I only had a slight bruising under my eye on one side, so I just thought that it would go away and I ignored it.  (Although mind, each time Mr.C leaned in for a kiss I would push him off with a command of  “Eeek!  MIND MY NOSE!“)

Little Cobs (I think) gave me the Deviated Septum.   Bless his heart.  I’m hoping that next time he wants to give me something,  it’s a kiss or a bag of sweeties!

Strange thing is …  I’ve stood and looked at my nose in the mirror and I can’t see anything wonky or bumpy.  I asked Mr.C if he can see a bump or maybe a teeny twist or wiggle to my nose, but he says he can’t either.  But … I’ve looked up my nose  and  I can see that there’s something different about the inside of the two nostrils. [shudder]

A Deviated Septum … no.  That just sounds too silly for someone like me.  I’ve decided that I shall call it … My Mutant, Sep.  I’m going to choose to believe that I have a mutant called Sep who lives up my nose.  Sounds so much more friendly than a Deviated Septum, dontcha think?

Other things I’ve learned this week:

I’ve learned that my littlest cat, Dolly Daydreams (aka Princess Tippy Toes) can move off her prized ‘seat’ on the sofa SO quickly, that she can be snuggled down on my chair, when I’ve stood up for a moment to adjust my clothing, and I never even saw her move!.  It was only as I was half way down to sitting on my chair again that I noticed she’d gone missing and I stopped myself from sitting on her. I turned around and there she was with that  “It’s my chair now!  Nur!!!” look on her face.  Needless to say, it wasn’t her chair and she was moved back to the sofa again and told so.  The darn cheek of it!

I’ve learned that blogging is actually quite a lot of work – and that I worry that I won’t chat about things which people will enjoy reading.  – But I’ve found that if I just be myself, then things seem to work out ok,  …   and …  I keep my fingers crossed that I don’t let anyone down  and that I don’t blog about boring things or send anyone to sleep.

I’ve learned for the millionth time, that a compliment, out of the blue, can make someone’s day.  I went shopping today, and  coming around the end of an aisle, I came across an older lady dressed in a blue coat and wearing a beautiful darker blue and white scarf.  She had such a sweet face too.  I took one look at her and said:  “Oh my goodness,  …. ohhhh you look so very stylish!”  She looked at me with a smile but a quizzical look and said …  “Say that again?” as if she hadn’t heard properly.  So I repeated it. She was totally over the moon.  Cock-a-hoop!   She told me where she’d bought her coat and how old it was, even how much she’d paid for it.  I told her that the colour suited her and that teamed with her scarf, the outfit looked totally stylish.  I left her smiling and thanking me.  Isn’t it just fabulous how a few little words can really make someone’s day so much brighter and happier.

And finally ….

I’ve learned ….  some new jokes.  Ready? ….

Q)   What goes up and down but does not move?  . . . . .  A)   Stairs

Q)   What do you call cheese that’s not yours?  . . .   A)   Nacho cheese!

Q)   What did one wall say to the other wall?   . . .    A)   I’ll meet you at the corner.
Q)  What do elves learn in school?   . . .   A)  The elf-abet.
Q)  Where do pencils go for vacation?   . . . A)  Pencil-vania.
and finally …..
Q)   What is Santa’s favourite pizza?   . . .    A)   One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.

Wishing you a truly Fabulous Friday.  May your day be happy.  May your troubles be small, and may your joy for life be never-ending.

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Things I’ve learned this Week

Welcome to the Friday Postcard from Cobwebs, where I share with you all the stuff I’ve learned this week.

Life teaches us all some lessons and ‘stuff’ it believes we need to learn or know about.  Some of these things might be painful.  Some of them may give you a heartache.  Some may touch you so deeply that you can almost feel this  ‘thing’  slowly sinking into your soul.  Some things may make you cry.  But then there are some things which will make you smile.  Or laugh.  Or just set up your day with a base of a good mood which carries you through your day.  I’m hoping that this Friday Postcard, from me to you, will be one which starts your day off with at least one smile. Shall we dive in?

What I’ve learned this week  . . .

I’ve learned that when I leave the house, clamber into my car, put my seatbelt on,  start-up the car and put it into reverse in order to get off my drive ….  I’ve learned that around the point I’ve backed out of my drive and driven just a little way down the road,  it’s usually at this point  that I realise that the reason my eyes are so blurry isn’t because I didn’t get enough sleep, but because I’ve forgotten to put my darn glasses on!  [sigh]   Why do I keep doing this?  Why haven’t I actually learned this lesson yet.  You’d think that at my age (of over 21 plus a lot of tax), it would be as natural to put my glasses on as it is to pick up my car keys.

I’ve learned that the world has more information than a brain can surely hold,   but not enough inspiration.

We live in a computerised/technological world.  Everything is run by computers.  With more and more things being computerised, daily.  I watched TV a couple of days ago and saw how a short black cylinder with a blue light halo around the top can now turn on lights or the kettle or the washing machine or .. well just about anything  while you’re not even in the house!  It can make a shopping list for you by you just talking to it and asking it to add (eg) a loaf of bread to the list.  It sits in the corner, or on the table, or … well just about anywhere it seems, and it’s ALWAYS on.  You never turn it off.  It’s just there.  Listening to you and waiting for you to say it’s name – Alexa.

You can ask it virtually anything, and it will give you an answer within seconds.  How far away is the Sun?  It knows.  Is there a particular store in your city?  It knows.  How to spell a word?  It knows.  Watch the little video below, but beware … you might end up thinking you should have one. lol

Then the presenter on the TV showed me how I could get a tiny circular vacuum cleaner to clean my carpets and floors while I was out at work, by setting a timer on it.  Then, before I came home from work, the carpets would all be super clean.  However, if the machine began to run out of charge, it would return itself to the docking station and would re-charge itself, then set off again, back to where it left off, and continue cleaning the floors for you!

Then they turned to a fridge and showed us how a computerised ‘thing’ on the door, would take note of what was inside the fridge, and if someone opened the door and took out (say) the Melon.  Then this computerised gadget would know that it had been taken and would register this on the door.  It even had another little gadget installed in it which, at the press of a button, you could actually see what was in the fridge instead of opening the door.  Oh.. and it even took note of ‘eat by’ due dates, and would flash this information for you when that due date got near so that you could make sure to include that item in your menu.

See … this is all very clever but …  and here’s the thing …  What the divil is wrong with picking up a pen and making a shopping list?  What’s the problem with YOU vacuuming your carpet?  Is turning the kettle on so hard labour that we need a gadget to do it for us?  Why do we need a ‘Hive’ to control our heating at home, when we can cope perfectly well with getting our bottoms out of our chair and change the setting if we need to?

As for not opening the door of the fridge to see what’s inside …  is  ANYONE REALLY THAT LAZY  that they need this screen on the outside of the fridge door so that they can simply look at the fridge for the information???

Like I said … the world has more information than you can shake a stick at, and if you don’t know something, then a few taps on a keypad connected to the internet will get you the information you need to find out what you need to know.  But stop right there for a moment.  Computers are a recent invention.  Most homes didn’t have a home computer until around mid 1980’s.  So if you were born before around 1985-1990, then the question is … what did you do before then if you wanted to know something?   And what if we wanted to remember to buy a joint of meat and some apples from the shops – what on earth did all us numbskulls do then? We must have done something because we all know quite a bit of stuff and none of it was learned from or via a computer!

We now focus so much on the outside ‘stuff’ that there’s a deficit on the inside ‘stuff’.  Where are the things which are going to help with that?  Where is The Balance?  Where is the Inspiration?  What exactly is Inspirational about these gadgets?

Are we actually going to end up like the dystopia scene, (nearing the end) of the movie Wall-E?

I’ve learned this week  (and this surprised me)  that half the human beings who’ve ever lived are reckoned to have been killed by the mosquito.

3,000 people die of malaria every day (malaria caused by a mosquito bite).  That’s 45 billion human beings in our history.  Mosquitoes carry more than a hundred potentially fatal diseases including malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, encephalitis, filariasis and elephantiasis. Even today, they kill one person every twelve seconds.  Which leads me to thinking that if the super intelligent guys who are designing and making the gadgets which I’ve just talked about, instead put their minds to solving this mosquito problem, then perhaps that problem solving thing would REALLY be something to celebrate. (instead of seeing inside the fridge with the door closed. huh!)

I’ve learned that Mr. Cobs idea of putting super duper new over-head lights in the ‘Executive Art Annexe’ to replace the old ones  (craft room to you and me) was one of the best ideas he’s ever had (obviously the best was marrying me. lol).  These new lights are BRILLIANT!  It’s like having natural light in there all the time.  So much better for crafting by and I LOVE THEM!

I’ve learned that who ever’s in charge of turning Autumn into Winter is obviously new to the job this year, and that the previous person must have retired,  because –  on November the 1st,  it didn’t just get cooler, it turned into frost on my windscreen and me into a dithering woman who began the day wearing a v-neck long sleeve top, and had to get a scarf out to cover up that v-neck bit because it was icy cold!  Someone needs to have a word with this obviously new employee whose joy of getting the job has gone to his/her head (I feel it’s a chap to be honest – not sure why) – and ‘he’ is enjoying the power he’s now got.   I wonder if he was a Traffic Warden in a previous existence?

And finally …  I learned some new (to me) jokes … and I just  HAVE  TO  share them with you….

Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet together?  ….  because they’ve only got one tinky winky!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?  . . .   Because 7 8 9

How do you make a band stand?  . . .  Take away their chairs

What’s white and can’t climb trees?  . . .  A fridge!

What do you call an alligator with GPS?  . . .  A navigator.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?  . . .  An investigator.

I’ve just put my friend Richard on speed dial on the phone.  . . .  it’s my Get-Rich-Quick scheme.

Ok I’ll stop.   … you’ve suffered enough.  🙂  lol

Wishing you a truly Fabulous Friday, filled with a balance of innocent fun, smiles, love, care, and friendliness.  May any gremlins which get into your day be shooed off and not hang around long.  Have a wonderful dayBut … remember to stop and make a memory at some point today!

Play safe, be good to each other,  and may your God go with you.

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Things I learned this Week

Welcome to this weeks ~ Lessons in the art of Life ~ . . . as per Cobs.

Well, I’ve learnt an assortment of lessons this week.  Some of them welcome, one of them tiresome and others that are just snippets of “well I never knew that”!

I have learned that Virgin Media (who supply my cable, TV, broadband and telephone –  i.e. the whole kit and caboodle) can keep you ‘holding’ on the phone for an INORDINATELY long time (i.e. 1 hour 35 minutes) when you call them to tell them that you’re planning to disconnect from them and go to another supplier if they don’t get their act sorted out and change back the monthly charge to what I was paying before they hoiked the charge up by £39.49 per month.

Because I’m a clever, canny lass when it comes to negotiating new deals, I keep an almost blow-by-blow account of what was agreed, and get the FULL name of the person I was doing the deal with and even make a note of the time the call began and ended  ….  Virgin couldn’t do anything but remove the extra charges for the rest of the term of our contract.  However, in an effort to make things as difficult as possible, they (Virgin) passed me from pillar to post, one person after another,  possibly in the hope that I’d get either annoyed or tired and put down the phone.  I didn’t.  I don’t.  And, unlike Mr. Cobs, I don’t lose my temper either.  I, in fact, get calmer and c.a.l.m.e.r. until I’m ultra calm and laid back,  ….  but ever-so-much more determined that I am going to get the result I require.

I learned from this experience this week that Virgin might waste a bit of my time by keeping me listening to music(? that term is questionable for what I was listening to), but ultimately it is they who will be jumping through the hoops when it comes to keeping THIS customer happy.

I also learned this week that I actually can still work in my craft room – sort of – when there is no electricity to be found in there at all.  Although – it’s a much quieter sort of crafting and I don’t particularly like it very much.

The electrics in my craft room suddenly tripped on Wednesday and nothing would or could get the electrics to work again.  It’s apparently something to do with one of the sockets in there.  Fortunately my craft room is a completely separate building from the house (in our detached, converted garage) so the house electrics are fine.  Our Electrician called out on Wednesday to see if anything needed to be ordered, and he’s back again Friday (today) to [hopefully] fix the problem.  While he’s here I’m getting him to put some new spots in the ceiling as the ones that are there were fitted by Noah when he arrived in the harbour, sailing on his big boat, so they’re old and need changing. (The detail about Noah fitting the current lights might not actually be totally true).

I’ve also learned some random facts about life in general, which I’m not sure will ever impress anyone or even if I’ll ever need these intelligent bits of information, but I know them now so in the interests of sharing the knowledge and joy I’ll show you what I learned…

The Sun is (roughly) 400 times larger than the moon.  It looks, to us here on Earth, like the moon and sun are the same size, but that’s simply because the Sun is (approximately) 400 times further away from us, which creates the illusion that the Sun and Moon in the sky above, are the same size!

Your brain weighs about 3 pounds. Of that, the dry weight is 60% fat, making your brain the fattiest organ!   Twenty-five percent of the body’s cholesterol resides within the brain.  Cholesterol is an integral part of every brain cell. Without adequate cholesterol, brain cells die.  GASP!  Who knew?!

Ninety minutes of sweating can temporarily shrink your brain as much as one year of aging.  Your brain is 73% water. It takes only 2% dehydration to affect your attention, memory and other cognitive skills.

No one knows for sure, but the latest estimate is that our brains contain roughly 86 billion brain cells.  Each neuron connects with, on average, 40,000 synapses.  A piece of brain tissue the size of a grain of sand contains 100,000 neurons and 1 billion synapses all communicating with each other.  Babies have big heads to hold rapidly growing brains. A 2-year-old’s brain is 80% of adult size.  Teen brains are not fully formed. It isn’t until about the age of 25 that the human brain reaches full maturity.

Brain information moves anywhere between 1 mph and an impressive 268 miles per hour. This is faster than Formula 1 race cars which top out at 240 mph.  Your brain generates about 12-25 watts of electricity. This is enough to power a low-wattage LED light.  (NOW THERE’S AN IDEA FOR MY CRAFT ROOM! … aw, no, that’s a ‘normal’ brain, not just one brain cell – which is what I have).

The average brain is believed to generate around 50,000 thoughts per day. Disturbingly, it’s estimated that in most people 70% of these thoughts are negative.

Our attention spans are getting shorter. In 2000, the average attention span was 12 seconds. Now it’s 8 seconds. That’s shorter than the 9-second attention span of the average goldfish.  Yes, really!

Brain cells cannibalize themselves as a last-ditch source of energy to ward off starvation. So in very real ways dieting can force your brain to eat itself.

In spite of what you’ve been told, alcohol doesn’t kill brain cells. It “only” damages the connective tissue at the end of neurons.

Memories are shockingly unreliable. Emotions, motivation, cues, context and frequency of use can all affect how accurately you remember something.

Memory is more of an activity than a place.  Any given memory is deconstructed and distributed in different parts of the brain. Then, for the memory to be recalled, it gets reconstructed from the individual fragments.  Like a jigsaw in a box.  You have to reconstruct the photo on the front of the box.

Do you feel even more clever now?

Random Quote I read for the first time this week and HAVE to agree with:

  • For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
    – Doug Larson –

And finally …

Two words.  If you haven’t already met ‘her’ on the internet or on You Tube …   DR. PIMPLE POPPER!

OH.  MY.  DOG.!!!  

If you haven’t ‘met’ her name before, then please make sure that A) you aren’t squeamish about pimples being popped and watching when they ‘go’.  B) that you haven’t just eaten.  Then, after checking that you’re ok with these two things  ….  go to YouTube and put her name in the search bar:  Dr. Pimple Popper  or …  Dr. Sandra Lee (her real name).  She’s a real Doctor, not just some woman who pretends.  So she knows what she’s doing.

My Goodness Me!    When I watched a video I had to work out if I was feeling light-headed or sick.  But … once you’ve watched a little and realised that you’re OK and not about to pass out  …  then it becomes like a car crash.  You HAVE to look.

I was aware that my face was contorting and I was pulling a face that I’d perhaps describe as   EEEK!  and  ICK! combined into one new strange facial expression, but I continued to look.

Never knew about her before …  But I thought I’d share her with you so that you too can experience the EEEK with the ICK! which your face will no doubt do too!

Well … from spots and pimples to brain facts, Virgin Media and to that loss of Electricity, which, I hope, that by the time you’re reading this, our fabulous Electrician will have found the problem, sorted it out and everything will be back to working tickety boo!  All that will be left to do then is to put my beautiful craft room back together again.  (Everything had to be moved so that he (electrician) could get easy access to all the sockets – you would not believe it but half of my craft room is currently in my conservatory and what didn’t fit in the conservatory is in Little Cobs room!)  I’ll be so glad when it’s all put back and I’m then back in my rightful place.  Queen of the Craft Room.  (well… my craft room at any rate). lol

Thank you so much for coming and spending a coffee time with me.  I’m so blessed to have so many lovely blogging pals, and I cherish each and every one of you.

OH and  … a big, hearty  Hello to a couple of new followers who have joined our lovely blog here.  I won’t name names but .. please don’t stay a stranger.  Read and feel free to comment.  It’s via your comments that we get to know each other and we actually all really do end up as friends in blog-land.  It’s what makes blogging such a brilliant place to be.

Have a fabulous Friday my friends  … and …  pray for the very next person you see on the street.  If you don’t pray, then wish something wonderful to happen to or for that person.  Push the prayer or the good  wish out of your head and out into the universe.  Let’s all do something good.

We can’t help everyone . . .  but  everybody  can help  someone.

Sending you my love, and an extra special squidge ~

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Things I Learned this Week . . .

What have I learned this week?  Well I’ve learned quite a few things, and I share them with you here so that you will learn what a person of little brain does and then not do these things yourselves.  I’m actually considering asking the Government if perhaps they should sponsor me as a kind of warning to all humans.  I wonder if they’d buy the idea?

Anyhoo … down to business, . . .  shall we?

I’ve learned not to absently mindedly pick, pull and scrape at all that dried on glue gel which coated the pad of my thumb a few hours before and as it dried, numbed the feeling on my thumb.  I learned while engrossed in watching a film, that  what feels like there’s still glue there,  actually isn’t.   I didn’t realise at the time that what I was actually gently peeling off my thumb, was little strips of numbed SKIN,  off the pad of my thumb!  I’d share a photo of the damage  which ‘an idiot with no supervision’  can do to herself,  however,  I respect you too much, and there’s no way I’m putting you through the trauma!

Ouch

I’ve learned that you need to use that pad of your left thumb ever such a lot, – more than you ever dreamed you do, (even if you’re right-handed like me)  and when it’s injured/damaged, you can’t use it because it hurts like billyo when you try to unscrew the top off a jar, or (even more hellish) the top off the lemonade bottle.  All those ridges on one of those tops are there for you to get ‘purchase’ on the lid.  However, with a damaged thumb, they are a form of SELF INFLICTED TORTURE!

 

I’ve learned that baking HOT weather plus pain, do not make great bosom buddies, and the knock on effect is that it makes one very short-tempered.  Thankfully saying sorry isn’t something I find difficult to do.  I’ve had a lot of practise.   🙂

hot

And finally …

I’ve learned that we are all made of stardust.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  Human beings are all made of stardust.

No, I didn’t believe this either,  but it peaked my interest,  so I went in search of information which would help me to learn if this was true. So I went to NASA.

Guess what I learned   . . .   we actually really are made stardust!

I know that sounds like I’m at the start of a fairytale or some long-held myth, but I’m not. This incredible statement has facts to back it up.

Now I won’t bore you to tears with a long explanation but I do need to explain a little, so pin back your lug holes and pay attention.  (There will be a test at the end) …

Once upon a time,  when the Universe was nothing but a young baby, it was made of hydrogen and helium atoms. These two things are still responsible for over 98% of the Universe’s mass, but the heavier elements were created in stars.

The very first generation of stars  didn’t have planets orbiting them, (except maybe gas giants made purely of hydrogen and helium, but without enough mass to ignite like stars do). What happened in those first stars and is still happening in stars today is a process where lighter elements fuse (or ‘change’) into heavier elements with the help of gravity pressuring them together (Imagine  kind of  modging two balls of clay or dough together so that they look as if there was only ever just one) and this process turns protons into neutrons.   This ‘thing’ process is called the  stellar nucleosynthesis(remember this word, you’ll need it again in a minute).

OY!!  Stop gazing out of the window you, at back of the class!  Pay attention please, you’re learning something here for free!  There are some people have paid a pound or possibly more (!)  to learn this stuff in posh colleges and fancy universities!

stardust

When stars start running out of hydrogen (which it needs in order to turn it into helium), at their core they start producing heavier elements from their helium supply.

Then,  after time,  they begin creating even heavier elements;  then heavier;  and heavier. This process finally ends when the chemical element IRON is created.  It’s at this point that the star has sadly run out of fuel.

Stars which aren’t as massive will deplete their fuel before their core becomes iron, but the point is that all elements up to and including iron, are created in stars in  nucleosynthesis.  (See… told you to remember that word.  There it is again!  Get ready … because it’s putting in another appearance in a minute).

Any of the elements which are heavier than iron are produced in a couple of moments after the very massive star with an iron core has collapsed under its own weight. This is what’s called  supernova  – and the creation of elements during this process is supernova nucleosynthesis. (Told you it would pop up again!)

Now … by mass, we are made of:-  65% oxygen, 18% carbon,  10% hydrogen  and 7% other elements. There are no helium atoms in the human body. This means that 90% of your body was made of elements that never even existed before the first generation of stars created them. So yes,  we are made of stardust.  (And what’s more …. some of the atoms inside our bodies were made in supernova explosions that happened billions of years ago).

You learn something new every day that you know me, don’t you?

I wonder what little gem you’ll remember from todays lessons.  <nods in agreementYeah  … I reckon it will be the glue on the thumb thing too.

So … are you all singing the  Matthews Southern Comfort version of Stardust??  Or are you too young to know about this song?  Either way …. I’ve been and had a search and share it with you here:

Have a fabulous Friday, and may your weekend be wonderful,  and full of stardust. 🙂

Have a blessed rest of your day,  all. 

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