There’s more to make-overs than surgery, clothes and cosmetics!

I have a couple of cup/mug coasters (mats) in my craftroom.  One to the right of my computer (no-one can sit at a computer without a coffee or a tea to one side), and another on what I call my ‘work desk’ – where I do the majority of my crafty things.  BUT … both of these mats are rather, umm…  old and grubby looking.  Bits of paint; spills – which although I’ve wiped up, have still stained;  little bits pull off where I’ve sat some Sellotape (well-known brand of sticky tape in the UK – yes, I know that Sellotape is the name of .. erm .. something else in another country).  Well look … why don’t I just face the shame and show you what one mat looked like.  Are you ready?  ……

Cup Mat Make-over 1

When these were new, I absolutely adored them.  I have some  Cornishware  storage pots and other bits and pieces in my kitchen, and my dining room (in our previous cottage) linked to the kitchen and was very English country cottagey in style so these mats fitted in perfectly.

But …  years later . . .  they really aren’t good for man nor beast, as you can see,  hence the reason they’re in my craft room.  However … I looked at them a couple of days ago and said [to no one in particular]  … “those really need to be thrown away”.

A voice boomed over me like it came from out of the Heavens.  “WHAT DOES?”  (made me jump I can tell you!) … “Uh?”  I swung around on my chair to see Mr. Cobs stood behind me.  “Ohh… these.  <picking up the cup mat>  Look at these . . .   they really have seen their day and I sadly think it’s time to go.”   “No!  Don’t throw them away … paint them!  Paint something on them.  Flowers or something.  Paint something, like you used to!“.

Hmmm… Ok, I could see where he was going with this.  “That’s a good idea, you clever chap.  I shall do that very thing.  But … would you rub them down for me?”  (He knows I hate sandpaper.  It makes my flesh recoil.  <shudder>).  So he did … and this was the result:

Cup Mat Make-over 2

The top layer was actually a paper/card layer, so rubbing the top down wasn’t difficult, but it did leave ridges which were impossible to totally get rid of.  Since the cup mats were only for me in my craft room I thought that I could get away with a few ridges.  So I set to work with some paints.  I first did two coats of Gesso – to help give it a ‘base’ to work on, and also to kind of help smooth out the ridges a little.  Then I gave it a coat of good quality black acrylic.

Cup Mat Make-over 3

If you look carefully at the above photo you can see some of the ridges.  The coat of black paint was done in order to dull the next coat a little.  Kind of ‘knock back’ the colour I was going to apply next – a deep blue colour which I’d hand mixed –  and the black would ensure that the navy stayed ‘flat’ or kind of dull, in colour.

Once the navy was dry I could then begin a ‘picture’ of some description.  ….  Can you tell what it is yet?

Cup Mat Make-over 4

Well I’m committed now so I’d better get on with it …

Cup Mat Make-over 5

Now can you see what it is?  🙂  Yeah, it’s a Goose!  But … the chest is a bit flat there, isn’t it?  Aw, don’t worry … that bit is going to be hidden anyway so I won’t trouble myself about it.

Cup Mat Make-over 6

This photo (above) I took with a flash, with the blind up, and two craft lamps on, so that you can see some of the details which I’ve added … like the shading under his/her chin, shading under the tummy and some detail to the feet.

Cup Mat Make-over 7

I realised that I hadn’t shown you the colours of paints I’d used/be using on this project, so I took the opportunity of adding in the pots of colours while showing you that I’d changed his/her bow from looking like a Christmas red, into a tartan bow.  (I didn’t want anyone to think he was the fatted goose which we were all going to feast on at Christmas!  eeek!).

Cup Mat Make-over 8

Surrounded by a vine, and four freshly laid eggs.

Cup Mat Make-over 9

Finally … three LIGHT coats of a spray varnish and it’s finished.  You can see  from the background in this photo –  that the ridges from the sanded paper were still there … but they really aren’t that noticeable anymore.

Cup Mat Make-over 10

Want to know the funny thing about this?  I am scared of geese (and horses, but we’ll talk about those another time)  … and what’s more … they KNOW IT TOO!  If ever I go anywhere where there are geese  … they surround my car until they’ve discovered the door which I need to get out of and then they  gather around the door and stand there LAUGHING AT ME.  They know I’m scared silly, and they mock me with their gaggling honks and giggling laughs.

If I visit somewhere – a lake, a walk with a stream running along side … and there are geese … those little bu&&ers make it their ambition to get to me and chase me. Honking all the way.

And yet … here I am painting a goose on one of my cup mats.  AM I CRAZY???  Obviously so.

Cup Mat Make-over 8

 

When I’d finished painting this mug mat, I did have a little wonder to myself if perhaps this sort of thing would make a rather nice Christmas present for someone.  You could buy some MDF (Medium Density Fibreboard – sorry folks outside the UK but I don’t know what you call this where you are) and if you’re handy with a saw (or have someone handy with a saw) you could cut the MDF to size and paint a set of four/six coasters for someone special.

OR … if you have a child at school … how about a personalised mug mat for the teacher, as a Christmas present? (or present for anyone at any time).  Just a thought.  🙂

Happy Wednesday all.  Make it a good memory day.

Sending squidges your way  ~

Sig coffee copy

 

Say Happy Birthday with a Cath Kidston style coat (or 4) and a touch of Gingham!

Do I need to say any more?  Aw … ok, I will.

I’m still on my challenge to use ‘gifts’ which have come free with magazines. I’ve got a drawer full of stamps and loads of free decorative papers for use in card making or scrapbooking, so this weekend I decided that it was time for another ‘make it from magazine gifts’ challenge.

I looked through the stamps and came across a set which had come with a magazine about 18 months to 2 years ago.  (I know, I know.  I should have used them by now).  I can’t understand why I hadn’t unpacked and played with them when I got them to be honest, because they’re just so lovely.  I even remember the magazine had featured some photos inside the mag to show a sample of cards you could make.  One in particular stood out to me.  It had coats on the front stamped on flowery paper, and I liked it.  So I thought I’d make something like it because I have someone in my family who’s birthday is coming up soon and she likes Cath Kidston and cottage style, so my decision was made for me.

Coats Card in style of Cath Kidston 2

The coat actually wasn’t a stamp in itself,  it’s a clear stamp of a little girl wearing a coat,  so I masked off her head and legs, then inked up the coat in a Memento ink pad in brown and stamped out four coats on some creamy white paper which had roses printed all over it, and four coats on some blue paper which was also printed with roses.  Both of these sets of papers were again free but this time with two different magazines.

I had to ‘fussy cut’ the coats out, which was fine at first, but by coat five I began to wonder if this was such a great idea!   (Although you can only see 4 of the coats in the photos, there are actually 8 – they’re layered, using foam pads, to give a little depth to the card).  I chose some vintage style blue paper with creamy white polka dots for the background (which I distressed a little by using a colour duster brush and some ink from the same ink pad I’d used to stamp the coats out.)

After that it was just a case of assembling it all.  I found I had to place the coats at a slightly jaunty angle (and make them ‘hold hands’), because otherwise there wouldn’t be quite enough room for them to sit comfortably (with a little space between them).  I did consider starting again and making the card longer,  but I really quite liked the angle look so kept it.

While sat wondering what sentiment it should be   …  my eyes rested upon the friendly looking  ‘Happy Birthday‘ ribbon and it called out to me to use it,  so I chose the ribbon in place of a sentiment as it added a certain country cottage feel to it.  Finally, I added some gingham buttons to finish the whole thing off.

Coats Card in style of Cath Kidston 3

And that’s all there was to it!  But…  looking at this last photo↑  …  who on earth would tromp through the fields to get the sheep in for the night,  wearing a Cath Kidston style coat?  I mean to say …  look at the Quality!  The fit!  The colours!  These coats would cost an absolute arm and a leg if they were for sale in a Cath Kidston shop!

(The papers  aren’t  Cath Kidston .. but they remind me of her fabulous country-style.)

So that’s me done and dusted so let’s talk about you!   .. how did your weekend go?  Did you make anything?  Did you go anywhere spiffingly wonderful?  Buy anything?  Eat something naughty?  What made you happy this weekend?  Or … what made you sad?  Tell us …  we might just be able to make you smile again, or at the very least, we can all send you love and chat with you about whatever it is.  We’re all friends here.  I’ll put the kettle on, you slip off your shoes, sit down, put your feet up and get comfy.  Tea or coffee?  Sugar?  Milk?

Have a fabulous start to your week all.  Make Monday Memorable.

Sending squidges to your corner from mine,  

Sig coffee copy

 

Things I Learned this Week . . .

What have I learned this week?  Well I’ve learned quite a few things, and I share them with you here so that you will learn what a person of little brain does and then not do these things yourselves.  I’m actually considering asking the Government if perhaps they should sponsor me as a kind of warning to all humans.  I wonder if they’d buy the idea?

Anyhoo … down to business, . . .  shall we?

I’ve learned not to absently mindedly pick, pull and scrape at all that dried on glue gel which coated the pad of my thumb a few hours before and as it dried, numbed the feeling on my thumb.  I learned while engrossed in watching a film, that  what feels like there’s still glue there,  actually isn’t.   I didn’t realise at the time that what I was actually gently peeling off my thumb, was little strips of numbed SKIN,  off the pad of my thumb!  I’d share a photo of the damage  which ‘an idiot with no supervision’  can do to herself,  however,  I respect you too much, and there’s no way I’m putting you through the trauma!

Ouch

I’ve learned that you need to use that pad of your left thumb ever such a lot, – more than you ever dreamed you do, (even if you’re right-handed like me)  and when it’s injured/damaged, you can’t use it because it hurts like billyo when you try to unscrew the top off a jar, or (even more hellish) the top off the lemonade bottle.  All those ridges on one of those tops are there for you to get ‘purchase’ on the lid.  However, with a damaged thumb, they are a form of SELF INFLICTED TORTURE!

 

I’ve learned that baking HOT weather plus pain, do not make great bosom buddies, and the knock on effect is that it makes one very short-tempered.  Thankfully saying sorry isn’t something I find difficult to do.  I’ve had a lot of practise.   🙂

hot

And finally …

I’ve learned that we are all made of stardust.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  Human beings are all made of stardust.

No, I didn’t believe this either,  but it peaked my interest,  so I went in search of information which would help me to learn if this was true. So I went to NASA.

Guess what I learned   . . .   we actually really are made stardust!

I know that sounds like I’m at the start of a fairytale or some long-held myth, but I’m not. This incredible statement has facts to back it up.

Now I won’t bore you to tears with a long explanation but I do need to explain a little, so pin back your lug holes and pay attention.  (There will be a test at the end) …

Once upon a time,  when the Universe was nothing but a young baby, it was made of hydrogen and helium atoms. These two things are still responsible for over 98% of the Universe’s mass, but the heavier elements were created in stars.

The very first generation of stars  didn’t have planets orbiting them, (except maybe gas giants made purely of hydrogen and helium, but without enough mass to ignite like stars do). What happened in those first stars and is still happening in stars today is a process where lighter elements fuse (or ‘change’) into heavier elements with the help of gravity pressuring them together (Imagine  kind of  modging two balls of clay or dough together so that they look as if there was only ever just one) and this process turns protons into neutrons.   This ‘thing’ process is called the  stellar nucleosynthesis(remember this word, you’ll need it again in a minute).

OY!!  Stop gazing out of the window you, at back of the class!  Pay attention please, you’re learning something here for free!  There are some people have paid a pound or possibly more (!)  to learn this stuff in posh colleges and fancy universities!

stardust

When stars start running out of hydrogen (which it needs in order to turn it into helium), at their core they start producing heavier elements from their helium supply.

Then,  after time,  they begin creating even heavier elements;  then heavier;  and heavier. This process finally ends when the chemical element IRON is created.  It’s at this point that the star has sadly run out of fuel.

Stars which aren’t as massive will deplete their fuel before their core becomes iron, but the point is that all elements up to and including iron, are created in stars in  nucleosynthesis.  (See… told you to remember that word.  There it is again!  Get ready … because it’s putting in another appearance in a minute).

Any of the elements which are heavier than iron are produced in a couple of moments after the very massive star with an iron core has collapsed under its own weight. This is what’s called  supernova  – and the creation of elements during this process is supernova nucleosynthesis. (Told you it would pop up again!)

Now … by mass, we are made of:-  65% oxygen, 18% carbon,  10% hydrogen  and 7% other elements. There are no helium atoms in the human body. This means that 90% of your body was made of elements that never even existed before the first generation of stars created them. So yes,  we are made of stardust.  (And what’s more …. some of the atoms inside our bodies were made in supernova explosions that happened billions of years ago).

You learn something new every day that you know me, don’t you?

I wonder what little gem you’ll remember from todays lessons.  <nods in agreementYeah  … I reckon it will be the glue on the thumb thing too.

So … are you all singing the  Matthews Southern Comfort version of Stardust??  Or are you too young to know about this song?  Either way …. I’ve been and had a search and share it with you here:

Have a fabulous Friday, and may your weekend be wonderful,  and full of stardust. 🙂

Have a blessed rest of your day,  all. 

Sig coffee copy

 

 

The Cobweborium Recommendation of the Week: TONIC!

I was doing a little ‘housework’ on the blog here and realised that I haven’t done a ‘recommendation’ for simply ages.  So here I am putting that right with something I’ve just begun using (last week).

I ran out of my usual tacky glue (by Collall) – which didn’t bother me because I knew I had some more on my supplies shelf.  Except …  when I reached to get my other bottle, it wasn’t there.  I’d obviously already used it and forgotten.  tsk tsk.

An urgent dash to The Range (a store in the UK which sells practically everything, including crafty supplies) to get some more,  but when I got there, they had none.  Both Mr. Cobs and I searched the shelves but there was none to be found.  However Mr. Cobs found something else . . . Tonic Tacky Glue.  I looked at it, umming and ahing,  and in the end I decided I had nothing to lose, so bought a bottle to try it.

Tonic Tacky Glue

I’ve now been using it for a week and I can confidently, whole heartedly,  recommend it.  It’s an absolutely brilliant paper and card crafters glue.  It has a really great, very quick grab time, and you really don’t need much glue to form a great bond.

The bottle was ready to useso none of that tricky guess-work about cutting the end off the nib;  and, when you come to use it,  the hole is tinyBUT  don’t be tempted to make a bigger hole until you’ve tested it for a few days,  and then you’ll see exactly how little glue you actually need to do the jobs you need it to do.  Just a scrape of glue is all you need.  Literally, a scrape.

I like this glue so much that I know I’ll be buying and using more of this, and I can see it even replacing double-sided tape for a lot of my card making, (when matting and layering).  It grabs and it sticks, really well.

I’ve so far tried it on felt, wool, wood, plastic, paper and card, and it’s coped really well with all these things.

Tonic Craft Tacky Glue.  If you want to try it out in small first, The Range sell the smallest bottle for just 99p.  I bought the next size up, (which I think was double the size) for £1.99 – which makes it £2.00 cheaper than my normal brand of tacky glueNB … The Range is where I bought it from – but other crafty outlets are available, and you can even buy this on the internet in various places.

 a note:  I’m not paid to make recommendations and I haven’t been given any products to act as payment, or to encourage me to recommend them.  I will only recommend a craft product which I’ve actually tried and use myself, and found to be a great success in my own craft projects.

This recommendation is based only upon my own use of this product.  However … if you yourself already use this Tonic Craft Tacky Glue, then please do share your own experiences by posting them in a comment, and letting everyone else reading hear your own experiences with it.  Hearing from others helps us crafters to form an opinion, and I’m all for crafters helping crafters where they can!

(You can post a comment by scrolling to the top of this post to find the title … then drag your mouse just to the right of the title and you’ll see a little grey speech bubble which will turn deep red when you hover your cursor over it.  Click it and you can then find all the comments and the comment box.)

Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday ~

Sig coffee copy

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Friday Post: Things I’ve Learned this Week

Friday has come around all too quickly in Cobweb Towers. Y’ know . . .  I used to laugh at my Grandma when she said (in her Lancashire accent)  “Eee, the days fly past so quick!  I wake up on a Monday and by the time I’ve had a cup of tea, it’s Friday!”. 

Then as my Mother grew older, she too would say similar things, and I told her that she’d turned into Grandma! 

And now … I’m saying those same things too.  Where has the time gone?  When did I grow ‘old’?   I didn’t notice time slipping by Was I too busy?  What on earth was I doing which made me not notice that I was growing older?   I used to laugh about the Grey Hair – I actually even liked it.  It added hi-lights to my dark hair.  But … I swear I’m not actually as old as my birth certificate says  … because I still feel like a child.  My inner child is there in everything I do or say.  Very much in evidence.  When someone is not nice to me, I still cry like a child would.  I have a belief that everyone surely is nice . . .  (and yet … the news tells me a totally different story!).

I used to laugh about me saying things my mother used to say, and I’d tell our two girls:  “Oh my goodness I think I’ve swallowed Nanny!  She’s just popped out of my mouth!”  …  and they’d laugh their funny, chuckling, little girl laughs.

However …  I noticed a few years ago that both of my beautiful daughters had begun to have my  sayings ‘pop’ out of their own mouths, and I’d laugh as I told them to  “be careful girls …. you’re turning into your mother, and you really don’t want that to happen!”.    And yet, it’s the funniest thing –  because,  for some strange reason that I really can’t fathom, they seem to always be just a tiny bit pleased that they’re hearing me ‘pop’ out of their mouths. They hear themselves saying the very things I used to say to them when they were growing up and they appear to like it.  It kind of tickles them in some odd way.   [shakes head and chuckles to self].

Anyhoo …

As I said, it’s Friday and we all know what that means …  it means that I’m sharing with you the things I learned this week So … are you ready?  Here goes:-

  1.  I learned that the average person falls asleep in 7 minutes. I learned from this that I’m not an average person.  [sigh]  It takes me about an hour, sometimes two and occasionally more than that, to fall asleep.  Don’t feel sorry for me, it’s just me.  Do these people who fall asleep in 7 minutes have nothing they need to think about?
  2. I’ve learned that the average chocolate bar has ….  [get ready for this one. . .] . . .  8 insect legs in it.  Oh.  My.  Stars!  Never has anything been such a wonderful dietary aid.
  3. The Electric Chair was invented by a Dentist called Alfred P. Southwick..  (Still want to go and get your teeth looked at in that nice comfy dentists chair this week?)  🙂  Mr. Southwick was present on August the 6th, 1890 when a gentleman by the name of William Kemmler was executed by electrocution.  It was reported that Mr. Southwick said:  “There is the culmination of ten years work and study.  We live in a higher civilization from this day.”
  4. A cat has 32  YES – THIRTY TWO – muscles in each ear!!!  AND … I also learned that that fold of skin forming a little pouch on the lower part of a cats ear has a name!  It’s call Henry’s Pocket Isn’t that just the sweetest thing?! lol.
  5. I’ve learned that some Doctors are complete and utter nincompoops.  I shall say no more on this subject, you’ll just have to believe me.
  6. And finally we end where we begun;  on the subject of sleeping:  …  I read this on the internet somewhere this week, and it’s been one of those things which has been on a loop inside my head.  So in the spirit of sharing and with a nod to the Olympics  …  I hand the baton to you!

I wonder ..

And there you have it.  Things I’ve learned this week.  Not entirely sure what I’m going to do with these ‘facts’ but at least I’m full of … what? …  knowledge? …  things?  …. stuff?  …. well… I’m full of something and it’s not what Mr. Cobs just suggested!!  tsk tsk.  He’ll be spending five minutes on the naughty seat for that little bit of bad behaviour.  If he carries on, I’ll phone his mother, THEN he’ll know what trouble looks like!  🙂  Mrs. Cobs Snr. loves me.  She tells me so every time I speak to her.  (I think she’s just grateful that someone took ‘himself’ off her hands!) fnar fnar.

So …  Is there anything you’ve learned this week?  Maybe some fun stuff?  Or … have you:- Done stuff?  Bought stuff?  Won stuff?  Anything?  I’ll pour the coffee … you tell me about it, and we’ll share a laugh or two between us.

Have a wonderful weekend my friends.  Remember to make a memory as you go about your days.

Heaps of love and squidges from my corner to yours….

Sig coffee copy

 

 

A ‘Ewes and I’ get together.

I had so much fun making the Brush Art (‘Art Work’) (link will open in another tab)   which I made last week and couldn’t wait to make another,  and,  as luck would have it …  when looking for something else in his shed, Mr. Cobs found a pasting brush which he’d never used and asked me if I wanted it for anything.  DID I EVER!

I couldn’t wait to get to work on it.  I already had a plan, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.  I had some tiny wee sheep knocking about my craft room,  and an urge to play with paints.  That pasting brush didn’t have to wait long.  Within a few hours the brush handle had been sanded (thank you Mr. Cobs) and I was getting my paints out.   Although it took me a few days to actually complete (drying time/setting time/working time etc etc)  I love the end result.

I’ve taken a couple of photos so that you can get a better idea of it from each side….

Ewes and I 3

The hedging at either end of the field – I made by needle felting, using wool tops from my felting stash.   I needle felted the hedging,  the tree tops  and the ‘babbling brook’ running between the bottom of the field and top of the bristles on the brush.

The ‘babbling brook’ is more loosely needle felted, in three blue colours of wool tops – so that I could get that ‘look’ of  moving water.

Ewes and I 2

I’m having so much fun with the making of these brushes.  I realised, while making this one, why I was enjoying myself so much.  I LOVE miniature.  I’ve always like to make and work with miniature things.  Things with detailI haven’t really been able to since we moved house, as there was still so much of my ‘stuff’ packed in boxes or just not enough room to get everything out and find a place for it.  But it’s slowly coming together and that’s brilliant.

Ewes and I 4

Would you believe it ... I already have a plan for making another one!  Aw .. I’ll try not to bombard you with them … but when it comes to crafty fun – a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do.   🙂

So anyway ….

It’s Monday again.  Someone stole one of my days over the weekend.  It went from Saturday to Monday.  Somewhere along the way I’ve lost Sunday.  If you find it, let me know will you, and I’ll go and pick it up and bring it back.

Did you do anything fun over the weekend?  Go anywhere?  Make anything?

Do tell,  share,  confess your sins.  YES.. CONFESS!   Aww  – now this could be good  . . .

  • Step inside this wee box and confess all your sins.
    • Have you spent too much money on craft items?
    • Have you coveted your neighbours ass  nooo that really doesn’t sound good in today’s worldTry again  ….
    • Coveted your neighbours servant?  Nah, no one has servants now. (do they?)
    • Have you coveted anything belonging to your neighbour?

Or is there perhaps something more juicy,  pressing down upon you which you wish to confess?  It will be just between you and me (and a select handful of other bloggers,  who have all be sworn to secrecy), and we will naturally all forgive you for eating those toffee sweets;  buying yourself something  clothing related and hiding it at the back of your wardrobe; (an old friend would do this very thing.   When she eventually got the item of clothing out to wear,  her husband would comment on it and ask if the thing was new, and she would always say:  “I’ve had this for ages!  See,  you never take any notice!”).

Well anyway ... while you’re plucking up the courage to confess,  I shall say… that’s me done and dusted.  I really enjoyed making this bit of artwork and so hope you like too.  Please let me know what you think.  You know how I love to chat.  🙂

It’s lovely to see you here.  Would you like another coffee?  Biscuits?  Toast?

Sending oodles of squidges from my corner to yours . . .

 Sig coffee copy

 

 

 

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Friday Post:- Things I’ve learned this week.

My one brain cell is obviously trying very hard at this remembering lark because looky here . . .   the THIRD Friday Post!  I never dreamed I’d make it past the first one so to be here with the 3rd is nothing short of unbelievable to me!

Last week we did internet vexations This week we’re talking again about ‘lessons’ I’ve learned during the past week.  You need no more introduction from me so I’ll shut up and let you read while you enjoy that … erm  … actually …  what exactly is that which you have there?  C’mon now …   Share it with the rest of the class!

Things I Learned This Week.

1.  I learned that sprinkling salt onto cut tomatoes you’re about to eat is NOT a clever thing to do when you’ve chewed on the inside of your lip.  That salt (yes, even the lo-sodium variety because that’s what I use) will suddenly become a product of the DIVIL,  and will make you pull a face like a sucked lemon due to the unique pain you  WILL  suffer when that salt and your chewed lip meet for the first time.  What occurs when they become acquainted is nothing like  a meeting made in Heaven.  You know that brain freeze pain you get when you eat a too big a spoonful of ice cream?  WELL IT’S WORSE THAN THAT, let me tell you!!   Moral of this story  . . . don’t chew your lips!

2.  I learned that I’m obviously the only driver on the road, where I live in my corner of the UK, who has read and remembers how to ‘operate’ the  Highway Code.

The ‘ejits’ who are obtaining a driving licence nowadays are obviously getting them  via  Christmas  Crackers and/or Lucky Bags, and don’t realise that those types of licences really aren’t legal!!

They’ve either never read the Highway Code or, if they have, they’ve forgotten most of what’s written in there, and especially  a) that you mustn’t cut corners at junctions.

Highway Code And b) they know nothing about passing parked cars  [which are parked on ‘their’ side of the road],  and how they should wait and give way to the on-coming traffic, before THEY try to squeeze their car and bully their way, at speed, along the road causing the on-coming traffic to slam their brakes on;  skim the kerb (and leave half a ton of tyre rubber behind);  or mount the kerb in order to keep their (my) car in one whole, undamaged piece.  grrrr!

cursing

3.  Due to point Number 2 above:   I learned that I know some curse words I didn’t think I knew, – and have also found I have an ability to invent other curses which I don’t think have been invented yet, – but I heard them all pop out of my mouth because of some idiot, rat-fink, ‘youth’ I doubted the parentage of,  who nearly took the side off my car.

And finally …  although why I’ve left this to the last one I don’t know, for it is the one which  . . .  aw, no.  I won’t give the plot away.  I’ll let you read it for yourself.

4.  SPIDERS.  I could leave it right there . . .  but I feel you need to hear the drama which spiders have caused this week, here in my little cottage.    And also, by blogging about it,  there will be dated written evidence, if the police should need it, of how these bl**dy creatures are planning to terminate me!

Spider

Dearest readers ...  I hope you know nothing about the horror of the rigor mortis fear which happens,  when,  in the darkness while laying in your bed at 2am in the morning, in the heat of  a sticky summers night, with just a cotton sheet covering only the lower half of your body . . .  you become aware of something moving over your skin.  You feel  every. single. one. of the slow foot steps of …  a big spider walking over your back.

(ahhhh ….  come out in a cold sweat have you? . . .  read on, dear reader, read on) . . .

I lay comfortably in bed,  on my left side,  not quite asleep  – but not really awake either.  It was 2am in the morning.

I felt … a sort of gentle,  ticklish feeling on my upper back.  In my tired, sleepy headed state I remember thinking that it was a hair which had escaped the ‘twist’ I make with my hair every night.

I always collect my hair at the back of my neck, twist it round and then hold the twist of hair up on my head while I settle down on my pillow.  It keeps it all  out-of-the-way  on hot nights.

Suddenly,  a thought  WHIZZED  through my mind like a bullet being shot from a gun, – my eyes popped wide open and I froze.

I . couldn’t . move.  Fear held me in a freakish suspended moment.

My mind was racing.  My eyes, I swear,  were the size of saucers.   You see . . .  I realised that the ‘hair’ I thought I’d felt falling on my back,  couldn’t be a hair.  

Why?   Because if it was,  it wouldn’t have been  falling  UPWARDS.

NOTHING  . . .   falls  . . .   UP

My brain was now fully alert, racing at a million miles per hour,  and trying to come up with a  plan.

I considered shouting out for Mr. Cobs to rescue me from this assassin which came in the middle of the night   … but he was deep in sleep and snoring so loudly that I doubt very much that The Band of the Coldstream Guards playing right next to him would have woken him up.

Besides which … I actually couldn’t make any sounds other than:  Ehhh.  OahhhArrrr.  Ehhr.  Uh uh.  – and none of these sounds made up the sentence:-

“Dearest one, could you possibly raise yourself from the depths of your slumbers and gently cup this little rascal on my back who’s having a round of that famous song:  ‘You put your left legs in, your left legs out, in out, in out, y’ shake ’em all about.  Y’ do the hokey cokey and you turn around, and that’s what it’s all about!’.”

Which, obviously, was what I was trying to say.

I’m scared witless of spiders.  I’ve never been able to co-exist with them.  I won’t kill them because … well … I don’t believe in killing anything.  However, right at this point I’d have welcomed James Bond (Daniel Craig version please) as my hero who rescued me from the deathly grips of this eight legged creature.  (Who am I kidding … I’d have welcomed ANYONE at that point who could have gathered up that beast and thrown him out of the window!).

I could feel this thing making its way up to my left shoulder.  My time was running out.  The panic within me at this point was so huge, so big, so wide, and inside my head I was screaming blue murder.  I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.  I HAD to stop this creature from walking up my neck and onto my face – because,  something inside me said,  if he got to my face then I was going to die of panic, fear and shock.  My heart was pounding SO hard that I could feel each beat in my throat.

Thoughts were racing through my head so fast and just the one shone out as being the only one which had any merit…..

I rolled,  gently and as slowly, so as not to alert this vile creature to my plan,  onto my tummy, but fast enough so that the spider didn’t have time to get onto my neck.  My upper shoulder was now hanging just over the edge of the bed … and with my hand (of the arm now trapped under my upper-chest),  I SWOOPED it over my shoulder and cupped my hand so that it would scoop this little blighter off my back and onto the floor.

Straight away I turned my bedside lamp on and looked down at the floor.  Nothing.  Couldn’t see a thing.  No Spider!   I looked over to where the dog sleeps in her bed, next to  me.  I held my breath, waiting to see if I could see a spider running for dear life.  Nothing. I sat up in bed and looked around … nothingOH.  MY.  STARS!  Was he still in the bed with me???

I got out of that bed faster than I knew I could move and quickly lifted each pillow and waiting for just a second to see if anything ran.  Nothing.

I lifted the sheet.  Nothing.

That little b*gg*r was nowhere to be found.

Was He Hiding In My Hair???  I grabbed my comb from the dresser and combed and combed and combed.  From every angle, and frankly, I’m surprised I’m not bald.

I climbed back into bed … and for a while I first sat there, then lay there with the light on.  Terrified.

What if it came back and hid spiders eggs inside my ear?

What if it came back and made a spider’s web over my face? 

What if it came back and . . .  on and on. One scenario after another.  At around 4am I turned off the light and went to sleep.  (but not before I’d double checked the floor again – for around the fourteenth time).

The following morning … I told Mr. Cobs about my tormentor and asked him if he would do me a big favour and vacuum all around the bedroom, under the bed, behind the bed head, around the edges of the skirting board, the bunting hanging against the wall behind the bed … I gave him a list of all the places I thought a spider might choose to hide,  … and you name it, bless his heart,  he vacuumed it for me.  He said he found  nothing.

No, he wouldn’t.

Of course he wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t ….  Because that  &*%$£#  spider had re-located to the bathroom!   And later that morning, … when I was brushing my teeth,  I looked into the mirror over the sink and saw . . .  THAT BL**DY, BU££ERY SPIDER  (or one of its henchman)  DROPPING DOWN FROM THE CEILING, ABOUT TWO INCHES AWAY FROM THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY HEAD!  It was clearly aiming for my shoulder.

I have honestly never ever screamed so loud in all my life.  Over and over and over again I screamed out Mr. Cobs. name.   The bathroom door had the lock on.  The spider was between me and the bathroom door, and there was no way that I could reach around it to get to the door,  without it falling onto me.

Mr. Cobs was now at the bathroom door, banging on it and trying to open the door,  yelling, trying to break in and save me from whatever it was which was making me scream like I was.  I couldn’t talk.  I couldn’t tell him what was wrong.  For some reason I was unable to re-direct the effort of my panic to my voice-box and get that working instead.

I had an idea which I could try  … I reached up and with my index finger, I dragged that spiders web ‘string’  towards and over the sink, so that he would land in the sink and I could then safely reach across and open the door.  But NO.  Mr. ‘I’m going to GET YOU’ Spider was having none of it.

What did he do?   HE RAN BACK UP THAT  WEB ‘STRING’ AS FAST AS HIS LEGS WOULD CARRY HIM.  I was totally  PANIC STRICKEN  – he was fast heading towards my hand … –   I lowered my hand quickly and dropped him inside the sink,  but I knew that I had to ‘dis-connect’ myself from his webby string  … so dragged my finger over the edge of the sink, as if wiping it off.  I instantly went to reach for the lock, but all the time kept my eye on the spider … and that monster did what spiders can’t normally do.  HE CLIMBED THE SIDE OF THAT  DAM*ED  SINK!!!  By the time I’d managed to unlock the door and Mr. Cobs launched himself through it … that spider had one huge, chunky  leg already waggling and waving over the top edge of the sink.

Mr. Cobs had hold of me by the shoulders, shaking me slightly, asking me what was wrong.  Why was I screaming?

I pointed to the sink…   I watched and saw his shoulders drop.  I could feel his relief.

Get it out.  Please.  Get it out!”   He pulled a couple of sheets off the loo roll and caught the spider within the folds of it.  “PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE IT!  PLEEEEASE  MAKE SURE!”

He did.  He had.  He took it outside to the big bin and deposited it in there.

I.  . . .   HATE.  . . .  SPIDERS.

And they know it.  And now … they’re having a laugh by tormenting me.

I  . . .  HATE  . . .  SPIDERS.

“Hello God, it’s me again.  I wanted to have a word with you about spiders.”

The moral of this tale is …  don’t let spiders know that you don’t like them, because if you do, they’ll torment the living snot out of you.

And these things, beautiful readers, are some of the lessons life has taught me this week.

Has life taught you anything this week?  If so … do share … if only to take my mind off spiders, because all the way through typing this to share it with you, I’ve been itching, scratching, fidgeting and feeling like every bit of ticklish hair touching my body, caused by the ceiling fan spinning around, isn’t a hair but actually a cluster of spiders all popped round to assassinate me. [shudder]

Have a fabulous Friday, and a truly wonderful weekend my friends.  I wish you sunshine, smiles, love, a lack of spiders,  and,  …  if at all possible … a lottery win.  🙂

Sending squidges ~

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A ~ K.I.S.S. ~ Card … about Friends

I’ve been trying to K.I.S.S my cards over the past few weeks. No not  ‘Kiss’ – as in ‘kiss on your cheek’ K.I.S.S.   Right now you might be saying  “What the heck is K.I.S.S.?”  . . . .  K.I.S.S.  is short for: Keep It Simple Stupid’.

I’m a bit of a lover of embellishments and falderals.  I love those extra little happy touches.  But the problem with these things is that it adds so much depth to a card which means having to make deeper boxes for them, and then that adds to the cost of posting them and … well I told myself that I had to try harder at making cards which were less ‘deep’.  I  challenged myself to make  K.I.S.S. cards.

Friends are the Sunshine of Life 3

As you can see from this card –  I failed slightly.  I ‘had’ to add a butterfly to it.  Forgive me … I needed some sparkle and joy.  But this butterfly, although on the large(ish) size, it isn’t actually that deep, so it still fits inside a regular envelope! (although … I’d add a little layer of either bubble wrap or line the envelope with extra card to protect it).

This was an incredibly easy to make card.  Here’s what I used:

Friends are the Sunshine of Life 1

The stamps all came from ‘Emily’s Garden’ collection from Card-io Majestix Stamps.

Card-io Stamps are such versatile stamps and you can make so much from them, for all sorts of things from Tags to large cards to Scrapbooking,  for all through the year or for a particular time of year such as Christmas.  (I’ll do a post just about Card-io Stamps at some point as I’d love you to ‘meet’ them.).

I chose colours of stamp pads, and got to work.

Using a 6×6″ white scored card, I masked off a section of the card which would be wide enough for the ‘rub on’ sentiment I’d chosen to fix to the card.

Although I have masking tape, I’ve never got great results when I’ve masked off on cards, and have found that it can pull off sections of card stock.  So I now use Washi Tape. (hence the roll of green Washi that you can see in the photo).

Once masked off I then stamp the leaves and ferns in the green ink pads I’ve chosen.  Wiping my stamp off between changing colours, using a baby wipe.  Then do the same with the flowers (only using the other colours you’ve chosen for the flowers) again wiping the flower stamps between colour changes.

Friends are the Sunshine of Life 4

 

Once done remove the Washi Tape carefully and the next bit is optional:  Using a Micron pen, I butt my ruler up against the stamping and draw a thin line along it on both sides.  But – again – this is optional.

Add your sentimenteither a die cut or rub on, or sticker,  and Voila!  You can finish the card right there.  Or you can be like me and go on to add a little something extra to make it yours.

This was so SO close to being a K.I.S.S. card.  I was almost there.  I shall try harder next time.

Well that’s me done and dusted.  🙂

I trust that you’re going to have an excellent Wednesday.  If a gremlin gets into your day then just mentally show it the door and be done with it.  It’s just a day … really doesn’t matter what it’s called,   you just have to make the decision that it’s going to be a good one.

Sending oodles of love and squishes to your corner from mine…

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Mini Men working + Art = “Art Work”

I’ve had this project in my mind for months and monthsWell,  I say  ‘this project’ …  it wasn’t necessarily THIS project, more an idea for a project of this sort which came to me when sitting in my craftroom one day.  Dearest one, Mr. Cobs, had left a used paintbrush in my craftroom, on a bit of paper.  He’d been painting the tongue and groove wainscoting in the bathroom a fabulous shade of blue and this paintbrush signalled the end of the project.  I picked up the brush and admired it.  I loved the blue – so seaside looking.  Very  what I call ‘Martha Stewart blue’ – only a little lighter.

I looked at that paintbrush for what seemed like ages,  and felt an idea forming in my brain.  Ooooh… I liked it!  But . . .  I didn’t actually do anything about it.  Every now and again I’d turn the idea over inside my head but never actually begin it.  That was until last week, when suddenly everything came together.  It was likeThe moon was in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars!  The idea exploded and I decided that this weekend (just gone) I was going to make it happen.

Art Work 2+
The colours in this photograph are, I would say, pretty true to what the colours are in real life

I’d had the little men for months, just waiting for me to get my act together, and I did, and it’s now here.  I’ve given it a name….  Art Work’.  The reason is in the title.  The men are at work, and the whole thing is a piece of my art so:  Art plus Work = Art Work.  🙂

Art Work 3+
I used the flash on the camera for this photo so the colours aren’t quite so ‘true’

So that you can see it from slightly different angles I’ve taken a few photos which kind of look like they’re the same … but they’re not.  I moved the camera each time so that you could get a ‘feel’ for the depth of the piece, and also how the colours work their way up the brush. Art Work 4+

 

You might not believe this but this brush actually began life over the weekend as a brand new 2″ wide brush.

The fabulous men are, for me,  what makes this ‘come alive’.  One man has a hammer and is making holes in the metal part of the brush – cheeky monkey!  The man in the middle is trying to drill through the surface on which they’re all standing – how dare he try to wreck my art piece!  And finally … the man on the left (as you look at the photos) is trying to peep into the hole which he’s standing by.  I think he’s the one that tickles me the most.  You can actually see how he’s leaning in and shielding his eyes while he peeps.  He looks like he’s a little scared to put his head too close in case something pops out of that hole and bites him!  Eeeek!

Art Work5+
taken using the flash on the camera and lit by bright lamps either side of the Art Work – hence the dazzling brightness (sorry about that)

I loved making this and can’t wait to make more.    Me thinks a trip to the local DIY store is on the list, to buy paint brushes! 

Mr. Cobs and I came up with lots of fun ideas for many other Works of  (paint brush) Arts, and we had quite a giggle together doing so.  I don’t think it will be long before I’m back with another bit of this style of art.

Well, that’s my bit of Show and Tell for this Mondays session at school.  What about you?  What have you been up to this weekend, my friends?  Been anywhere?  Done anything which made you happy?

Whatever you did ….  I hope your weekend was peaceful and up-lifting, and that you feel re-charged and ready to take on whatever this new week presents you with.  May you have a wonderful week, and if it’s not you tell me and then you and I shall form a very small gang and beat the ‘you know what’ out of whatever it is which has caused you strife.  We may be small but we be MIGHTY!

Sending you love, from my corner to yours,

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Friday Post:- Vexations!

Well blow me down!  I remembered to make another (the 2nd) ‘Friday Post’!   (I hope you’re impressed…   because I’m stunned!)

This weeks subject matter is . . .

INTERNET   VEXATIONS   annoyed girl

I don’t get ‘vexed’ very often.   I try to have calm, peaceful kind of days, because those are the very nicest of days to have.  However,  sometimes there are some things which will make me have a strop like a two-year old has a tantrum and since I can’t have the abdabs and throw myself on the floor, screaming until someone gives me an ice-cream, I’m doing the next best thing;  I’m sharing two internet vexations with you.

  1. Vexation of the week Number 1  . . .  Websites which are programmed to bring down or pull up a window over the window you actually want to look at, asking you to join their email list.  It used to be just store websites or places who had something to sell which did this, however I’ve encountered some blog sites this week which have this pop up page asking me to become a follower, and unless I filled in the box and joined the e-mail list it wouldn’t let me look at the site because the page wouldn’t close unless I became a follower!    Pop up windows join upBut here’s the thing:  How did I know I wanted to become a follower if I couldn’t look at the site to see if there was something there for me to be interested in?  What a daft idea!    In the end I had to close the whole window in order to get rid of the pop-up.  It’s a bit of a shame because they looked like they had promise …  but I’ll never know.
  2. Vexation of the week Number 2 . . .  Websites which continually have a little window which shoots in from the left or right side of the screen, asking if you’d “like help from one of our advisors?”.  I don’t mind them asking once.  But once I’ve said ‘No thank you‘, I expect them to be polite and leave me alone until I decide that I might want to take up their offer – or not – as the case may be.Personal Shopper windowHowever some of these sites bombard you every time you change page, or sit reading for a nanosecond longer than the site is programmed to feel acceptable.  Even my Banking-on-line is now set up with this type of ‘let us help you’ window. Grrrr. [sigh]

Well … that’s my 2nd ‘Friday Post’,  over and done with.

Do you have any pet hates about the internet? Do share! I’d be interested in having a read.

Anyhoo …. I’m hoping that come Monday I’ll have something crafty worth sharing with you.  I’ve been ‘out of sorts’ this week,  (despite it being my birthday weekhow very dare my rubbish body put a hex on the fun!),  and crafting hasn’t been the glorious joy it normally is.  So I’m going to try to buck up and get some proper crafting in over the weekend.  If you happen to look down on Dorset via the satellite floating above us in the sky, you’ll hopefully see plenty of glitter, puffs of embossing powders, heat spots from my heat gun, and all sorts of bits of paper and card – the rubbish from die cutting – floating up, up, up into the sky.  And if you do see that … then you’ll know who’s doing it!  🙂

May your weekend be as wonderful as you are. 

Squidges and Blessings . . .

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