Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm – 2

We first met Anne and Malcolm a few weeks ago (if you missed the first post you can find it HERE), and now they’re back again for another visit, to share with us all their unique observations on Life living with a Crafter via the use of photographs.

For those who haven’t ‘met’  Anne and Malcolm,  then  . . .  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne. A glimpse into the exciting world of Crafters and their spouses.   

(Anne and Malcolm exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE  COBWEB  CATALOGUE

of a Living  (in my imaginationCrafter & Spouse

voodoo-dolly-1

Malcolm loved that Anne was so happy in the craft room he’d ‘built’ for her, but one thing didn’t go down well with him at all.  The Voodoo Dolly strapped to the big star.  He wished with all his heart that she’d part company with that, because it gave him the heebie-jeebies and he didn’t like to go into the craftroom to get any of his cooking spices which Anne insisted should be in her craft room.  It made him wonder exactly what sort of ‘craft’ Anne was practising!

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the-sewing-room-2

Anne had dropped (very) heavy hints to Malcolm, and even left brochures around the house  in the hope he’d get the idea about what she dearly wanted as a Birthday gift this year.  But on her Birthday, all he’d bought her was a wall mounted thingy-ma-jiggy-me-bob on which to store all her cotton reels,  and he still hadn’t noticed the lack of a sewing machine in her Sewing Room!

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naughty-basket-and-glass-jar-jails-3

Anne was far happier now that she’d finally got
a ‘Naughty Basket’ for the fabrics which were
misbehaving,  and two Glass Jail Jars for those really
BAD fabrics who were the real trouble makers in
the bunch!  She was determined to teach them
a lesson!

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hastily-packed-suitcases-4

Back from their shopping trip, Malcolm took Anne’s new blue basket, filled with all the ribbons she’d bought that morning, down to her basement craft room.  That’s when he noticed the hastily packed suitcases under her fabric cutting desk.   The neighbours could hear that trouble was brewing in  ‘Chez Malcanne’,   as Malcolm climbed the stairs from the basement, two at a time, shouting:  “Anne!  ANNE!!”    with a rather cross tone to his voice.

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clean-up-5

While Anne was away visiting her mother for a couple of days, Malcolm had planned to clean up her crafting room as a surprise for her upon her return.  He thought she’d love how clean and tidy it was now, and also thought she’d adore all the storage boxes with all their little drawers which he’d sorted her things into, and then spent four hours writing little sticky labels out for each drawer.  Sadly, we crafters among us know exactly what was going to happen the minute she stepped inside that door.  She would look around that room with horror mounting and registering on her face.  It was going to take her years to find all her lovely things – which despite what he might have thought,   were all in their correct places (for her) and she prided herself on knowing that she could put her hand on ANYTHING she required because she’d known exactly where it all was!  But not any longer!    Malcolm was going to be TOAST!

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not-so-much-a-craft-room-as-a-breeding-programme-6

One corner of Anne’s Stitch, Knit and Sew Crafting Room was dedicated to what Anne affectionately called her ‘woolly life‘.  However,  Malcolm suspected that this corner had nothing to do with crafting, and instead believed it was a secret Breeding Programme.  The mound seemed to increase weekly, and yet Anne always laughed and denied it when he suggested to her that she’d been out buying more wool again.

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Well,  we’ve turned over few more pages of the ‘COBWEB CATALOGUE of life with a Crafter  & Spouse’,  for a bit of Wednesday afternoon fun.  I hope they’ve raised a few smiles, a smattering of gentle laughs,  or even modicum of cheer.

Have a truly blessed rest of your day.

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The photos chosen for this post are randomly chosen and found on the internet, so publicly available.   I sadly don’t know who the photos belong to, so if you are the owner of any of them, please drop me a comment detailing which photo is yours, and giving me a link to the original posting of it, and  I’ll be thrilled to credit you to the photo.

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Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm

Some of you may be familiar with a website which has some great photographs taken from catalogues, to which they put their own spin on what you’re looking at and end up with  the funniest things which make me hoot with laughter.

Well, I have a confession …  when I look at pictures craft rooms, on the inter webby, I have that same thing go on inside my head.  I will fall in love with craft rooms, and gaze at them longingly – wishing that my craft room was *that* big, or *that* colour or *that* clean – but I know it’s never going to happen.  However .. after I’ve fallen in lurve with the craft room … I will then spot a little something which begins to tickle me.  From that tickle comes a bubbling feeling, like fizzing champagne bubbles going crazy around my solar plexus, and from that point on, all heck breaks loose and the laughter pops out.  Not normal laughing … noooo.. the type of laughing which has tears running down my face laughing.

So, since it’s Monday, and Monday can be …  very  ‘Mondayish’ … I thought we’d get the week off to a slightly better start than  ‘Mondayish’.   So team …  Get your chuckle muscles ready . . .   (I’ll start you off gently with just five pictures,  . . .  so that none of you break your chuckle muscle) …

  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne.  (who exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE COBWEB CATALOGUE  ~  of a Living  (in my imagination)  Crafter

chadelier-crafting

    ❤

bread-bin-crafting

  ❤

sewing-machine-telephone-table-crafting

  ❤

bucket-crafting

  ❤

spice-cupboard-crafting

  ❤

natural-mothering-crafter

Happy Monday!  I hope that your chuckle muscle is in good repair, and that you’ve just given it a little work out.  Hopefully there will be more to smile about in your coming week.

Have a truly beautiful day my friends.  Let’s do it to them before they do it to us. (be kind that is).

Sending much love to you there in your corner, from me in mine. 

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Things I’ve Learned this Week

Well, looky here!  It’s Friday again, and we all know what Friday means ….  it means that you come to school to learn all the valuable life gems that I’ve learned this week (whether I wanted to or not) so that you don’t have to!  (It’s my personal kindness to society.  I learn all this stuff and just tell you about it so that you’re warned!). lol

So … what have I learned this week?

magnum

I’ve learned:  That I shouldn’t eat Magnum Ice Creams  . .  because

chocolate-2

. . . .  the Gods of Ice Cream and Chocolate all get together and have an absolutely bally hilarious time laughing at me as tiny bits of the chocolate covering drop off the ice cream lolly, straight onto my top;  my decolletage;   or, if they manage to actually get past my chest, straight onto my lap.  And … sometimes all three!  I end up looking like I can’t feed myself and need a carer to assist!

chocolate-1

I’ve learned:  That a silhouette isn’t just the title of an image of a person, or dog, tree, building etc.,  that you can only see in a solid colour – normally black, grey or brown (but I’ve seen them in other colours).

silhouette-1

In actual fact Silhouette is the name of a French Minister of Finance, way back in the 1700’s.

silhouette-2

Etienne de Silhouette (French Minister of Finance) put up taxes massively for the French upper classes,  during the seven years war.  Because of these high taxes,  paintings (a favourite of the upper classes)  were way too costly (and there were no cameras around during that time – surprising as that might sound),  so they came up with a very cost-effective way to have ‘pictures’ of their loved ones,  family, friends and pets.  They had picture cut outs of them instead of paying a ludicrous amount for a painting.

silhouette-3Having a talented artist cut out your daughter/son, dog, mother etc, out of paper,  was an exceptionally cheap way of getting around the taxes put on paintings.

So because of this ‘high tax’ time in France, anything that could be made cheaply was always linked to Etienne de Silhouette, however the little paper cut outs have retained the name Silhouette to this day and it’s known all around the world.

The final thing I’ve learned this week  . . .  is that when I see something (craft related) which I instantly fall in love with,  but I tell myself that the set is too expensive;  –  and  besides which:  what if I don’t use them enough to get my monies worth out of them?;  –  and … well,  surely I have enough things in my amazing craft room that I really shouldn’t be buying anymore ?. . . .

kick-the-can

I’ve learnt that I should bally well ignore myself and my guilt conscience and purchase the very things I so desperately want when they’re available – and before they’ve sold out. The promised new supply of said things (I was notified by the craft store) would be here in … July. No ..  August.   No ..September …  and then when the date in September rolls around and you call the company up, with your bank card clutched in your grubby little fist … the company say that “the suppliers are really messing around and only half of the stock has turned up from over-seas!” …  AND THE MOST WANTED THINGS OUT  OF ALL THE THINGS I WAS GOING TO BUY,  ISN’T EVEN BEING MADE AT THE MOMENT BY COUTURE CREATIONS (in Australia) YES, STAND UP AND OWN THE SHAME THAT COMPANY!

grrrrr

And the craft store where I was going to buy them from has said that they’re actually not really very sure if the company  (Couture Creations) will even put them through for making them again as they were originally out (in Aus) in the very early part of this year so to Cout.Crea., they’re kind of ‘old stock’ and they may be moving on to a new range now. (These products [dies, papers, embossing folders, chipboard decorations etc]  only came to the UK around the early part of June, and then at that time they were only available from Create & Craft.)

darn-it

I nearly cried when I got off the phone today. It made me cross and miserable,  I think simply because I was getting so excited as the day drew nearer for me to be able to buy them.  I’m now faced with either doing without;   buying them from an eBay seller in Australia (at a higher price and then add the postal charges for posting to the UK);  or … buying a set of these from Create and Craft at a higher price than I could have paid if I’d just have bought a whole bloomin’ lot at the beginning when they were on a Special Offer price.  [sigh]

Ahh [sigh] we live and learn, we live and learn.   Time for more chocolate I think.

chocolate-3

Well …  I don’t know about you, but I’ve had trouble with my days all week.  I thought Tuesday was Monday – all day I kept saying that it was Monday. I’d gone back a day!

But then …  I thought Wednesday was Thursday – so I went forward a day.

And yesterday I thought Thursday was today, Friday,  and I began to panic that I hadn’t got various things done and had run out of time!

Something is wrong with the wiring in my brain It’s shorting somewhere.  Either that … or I’m a dope.  Hmmmm … [thinks for a moment  . . . .]   Yes, I agree with you.  I’m definitely a dope.  Hang on, hang on a cotton pickin’ minute  …  what’s all this talk about a BRAIN?  I’m getting rather ahead of myself here, aren’t I?!   I don’t have ‘a brain’.   I have …  A BRAIN CELLThat, dear reader, is a very different thing altogether!

new-ron

Ahhh, life could be so much more simple if I just listened to my brain cell.  But I insist on confusing it and making it feel like I expect more from it.  Poor New Ron.

Aw look …  Have a wonderful weekend my friends.  If trouble comes a calling, don’t answer the door. Decide to have a great day, each morning you wake up.  It’s as simple as that.  Two choices.  Decide or have:  A)  a good day.  – or – B)  a bad day.  I know which one I’m going to choose. …  well, New Ron does.  lol

Sending my grandest of squidges to you.  Be nice to each other.

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