The Friday Post (a post of 2 halves)

This week I thought we could do something different again.

We’ll firstly take a look over our shoulders and find out a few things which happened on this day (June the 23rd) in History.

And then …  we’ll have a bit of fun.  😉

So put on your seat belts, grab your coffee, we’ll be taking off  and travelling backwards in time to 1868  – where we’ll begin our trip of: …

On this Day in History

1868 – Christopher Latham Sholes  receives a patent for Type-Writer.  

Christopher Latham Sholes (February 14, 1819 – February 17, 1890) was an American inventor who invented the first practical typewriter and the QWERTY keyboard still in use today.

From their invention before 1870 through much of the 20th century, typewriters were indispensable tools for many professional writers and in business offices. By the end of the 1980s, word processor applications on personal computers had largely replaced the tasks previously accomplished with typewriters. Typewriters, however, remain popular in the developing world and among some niche markets, and for some office tasks.

1888 – Frederick Douglass is the first African-American nominated for U.S. president. 

Frederick Douglass (born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey, (born circa 1818 – February 20, 1895) was an American abolitionist, women’s suffragist, editor, orator, author, statesman and reformer. Called “The Sage of Anacostia” and “The Lion of Anacostia”, Douglass is one of the most prominent figures in African-American and United States history.

1894 – The International Olympic Committee is founded at the Sorbonne, Paris, at the initiative of Baron Pierre de Coubertin.

1917 – In a game against the Washington Senators, Boston Red Sox pitcher Ernie Shore retires 26 batters in a row after replacing Babe Ruth, who had been ejected for punching the umpire.

1940 – World War II: German leader Adolf Hitler surveys newly defeated Paris in now occupied France.

1942 – World War II: The first selections for the gas chamber at Auschwitz take place on a train load of Jews from Paris.

1942 – World War II: Germany’s latest fighter, a Focke-Wulf FW190 is captured intact when it mistakenly lands at RAF Pembrey in Wales.

1943 – World War II: The British destroyers Eclipse and Laforey sink the Italian submarine Ascianghi in the Mediterranean after she torpedoes the cruiser HMS Newfoundland.

1972 – Watergate Scandal:

U.S. President Richard M. Nixon and White House chief of staff H. R. Haldeman are taped talking about using the Central Intelligence Agency to obstruct the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s investigation into the Watergate break-ins.

1960 –  Eddie Cochran was at No.1 in the UK with the single ‘Three Steps To Heaven’.  The American singer had been killed 3 months earlier in a car crash while touring the UK.

1966 – The Beatles had their tenth consecutive UK No.1 single with ‘Paperback Writer’ / ‘Rain.’ The track is marked by the boosted bass guitar sound throughout, partly in response to John Lennon demanding to know why the bass on a certain Wilson Pickett record far exceeded the bass on any Beatles records. It was also cut louder than any other Beatles record, due to a new piece of equipment used in the mastering process.

1970 – Chubby Checker was arrested in Niagara Falls after police discovered marijuana and other drugs in his car.

1993 – ‘Teflon Don’  jailed for life. New York crime boss, John Gotti was sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of parole.

The head of the city’s largest Mafia family was convicted on 2 April for racketeering and five counts of murder – including the former head of the Gambino clan, Paul Castellano.

Gotti’s deputy, Frank Locascio, was also sentenced to life after being found guilty of similar charges. Both men were fined $250,000 (£134,500).

Several hundred Gotti-supporters had gathered outside the Brooklyn courtroom and an angry mob attempted to storm the building when the decision was announced.

Judge Leo Glasser’s sentencing brought to a close the long quest to convict the man nicknamed the “Teflon Don”.

Gotti, 51, had escaped repeated attempts by federal prosecutors throughout the 1980s to get charges to stick to him.

But police finally persuaded Salvatore Gravano – his former ally and right hand man – to testify against his boss in return for leniency.

John Gotti died of throat cancer in prison on 10th June 2002.  He was 61.

The Telfon Don’s son, John Gotti Jnr, took over the running of the Gambino family but was jailed in 1999 for bribery, extortion, gambling and fraud, and remains behind bars.

2016 – The United Kingdom votes in a referendum to leave the European Union, by 52% to 48%.

And,  as they say in the best Monty Python episodes:~ 

please click to watch and hear, it’s only 16 seconds long.

The following are actual questions from lawyers,  in a courtroom. 

And with some of those questions are the answers.  (some of these might need a moment of thinking about before the penny drops!).

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’
Q: And did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q:  I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A:  That’s me.
Q:  Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q:  Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:  Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A:  I’ll be three months on November 8.
Q:  Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A:  Yes.
Q:  What were you doing at that time?

Q:  Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A:  I used to be.
Q:  How many times have you committed suicide?

So you were gone until you returned?

Q:  She had three children, right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there girls?

You don’t know what it was,  and you didn’t know what it looked like,  but can you describe it?

Q:  You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q:  Have you lived in this town all your life?
A:  Not yet.

Q:  Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body
A:  It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 pm.
Q:  And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A:  No, you stupid ***,  he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

You couldn’t make it up could you?  And you know what’s even more fearful?  …  They walk among us!

Well… it’s Friday again.  They seem to come around quicker than ever.  I’ve been a day behind all week.  Tuesday was Monday.  Wednesday I was convinced was Tuesday … and so it went on all through the week.  Tsk.  It’s me.  Apparently I’m getting old, but I know I’m not because I’ve not increased in age since the age of 27, when I taught my two little girls who were so innocent and willing to listen to me back then,  that if anyone asked them how old their mommy was they were to say …  “My mummy’s ONLY 27!”.  And I continued to feed that delightful fact into their little heads until I was sure that they wouldn’t ever forget it.  And so,  as each year passed,  I remained, to my girls at least,  “Oooonly 27”.

I now get a birthday card from daughter No.2 every year which wishes me “Happy 27th Birthday Mom”.   Ahh,  I love her sooooo much.  😀

Anyhoo…  I’ve sat here talking all this time and you’re wanting to drink up the last of your coffee in peace.  So, I shall stop yacking and let you go about your daily life.

Remember … today is Friday.  It’s permissible to smile BIG TIME on a Friday.  So please share your smile with the world,  for you are sooo gorgeous when you smile … SEE.… THERE IT IS!!!  That smile lights up your whole face!  THE WHOLE ROOM IN FACT!!   Yeah … smile lots today because it really suits you.

Have a truly blessed day my beautiful, fabulous blogging friend.

Love and hugs ~

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On-line Dating ~ for cats – The Reply

For humans reading this:-

This blog post  ‘On-line Dating ~ for cats – ‘The Reply’  is a response to a feline ‘approach’ from an admirer called Neurotic Cat, (who is the owner of Mrs.P & Beloved).  Who wrote a letter of love to one of my cats : Alfie  ‘Two Toes’  Capone.  If you haven’t read the loving advances of Neurotic Cat,  you can find them on Mrs. P’s blog: Craft Odyssey .  You might want to read Neurotic Cats blog post before you read my own cats reply so that it all makes sense to you.

I hope that this is as much fun for you to read, as it was for me to type.

Of course,  all that you are about to read was dictated to me directly by Mr. Capone himself.  I am merely his personal assistant,  or, as he calls me:  ‘his servament’ ~ . . .  ~ C ❤ bs.

I now hand you over to Mr. Capone – all HIS own words.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alf Capone’s reply to Neurotic Cat.

Neurotic Cat,  Princess,  …

Your profile has piqued my interest, as has the photograph of you flashing your tummy!

I feel I should let you know somethings about the real ‘me’.  The REAL Alf Capone.  So find yourself a comfy spot and I shall begin;

I was born at an early stage in my life and have now attained the grand age of 4 in human years.  However in cat years I’m now in my prime and aged 35.**

I’m built along the lines of a small Puma,  and stand approximately 38cm (15″) from floor to top of shoulder.

Can you see my snowy  white shirt peeping out of my Tux?

I have a luxurious black fur coat and wear a tuxedo which reveals a hint of white shirt on my muscley chest.

My nickname, ‘Two Toes’,  relates to me having two white toes on my (left) back foot, and was given to me by my human family of ‘servaments’ (servants) when I moved in at 8 weeks old.

See my two white toes?

As I matured I developed kleptomaniac tendencies, often returning home with purloined goods from the neighbourhood, including cat toys, socks, bread rolls, meat from barbeques, long strips of silicon sealant – which I resolutely refuse to divulge where I obtain it from,  and leaving them all as surprise gifts at Mrs. Cobs feet.

I am also a trained Assassin.  Bringing home various dead bodies . . .  of shrews, mice, rats, and even a large, stupid bird, which I later found out was called a pigeon, whose corpse I stashed under Mrs. Cobs chair for her to find.  I’m not sure if the noises she made when she found it were happy ones.  But I was content and that’s all that matters.

Peeping Tom?  No, I’m the Neighbour Watch Chief Officer!

I’m part of the Neighbourhood Watch and like nothing more than keeping an eye on the neighbours through their windows.  “Peeping Tom” is another phrase which has also been used to describe my activities, but I have no understanding of this term.

I like to ambush Mr. Cobs and ‘Bellie’ the K9, as they return from their morning strolls, by laying in wait and leaping out of various driveways as they pass.  I then escort them to the front door to make sure they’re safely home.

It’s a quiet road where I live and the residents know that when I’m lying in the road, then they’d better drive around me – or suffer the consequences.

Look into my eyes.  Not around the eyes, not above the eyes, no, look into my eyes.  You WILL do what I request!.  You are my servament!

I enjoy food, particularly if I go out and come back in again – even if it’s only for two minutes.  I believe I am telepathic, and try to convince Mr. Cobs to feed me by staring into his eyes from a distance of two inches.  If this doesn’t work, I walk onto his tummy with all four feet and stand in front of his face so he can’t watch the TV.  This works every time!

I am partial to cream, ice cream and yoghurt – which I only seem to get in very small amounts from Mrs. Cobs, and only if I lick it off her finger.

The K9 unit.

I lurve the K9 unit, Bellie, but she doesn’t seem to reciprocate it.  I show her my lurve by scent marking her, or as she calls it ‘head butting’,  sucking and padding her blankets and climbing onto her bed with her.  There’s not enough room for us both, so I lay on top of her, keeping her warm, padding,  and digging  my sharp little nails into her, showing how much I appreciate her little, roly poly, warm, soft body.  For some reason she takes umbrage at all of this and grasses me up to Mrs. Cobs as if I’m doing something wrong!  What a nark.

Mrs. Cobs read a poem to me a little while back, and I  liked it so much that I remembered it because I agreed with it whole heartedly,  so I’m going to share it with you:-

Cats Sleep Anywhere

Cats sleep anywhere, any table, any chair.
Top of piano, window-ledge, in the middle, on the edge.
Open drawer, empty shoe, anybody’s lap will do.
Fitted in a cardboard box, in the cupboard with your frocks.
Anywhere!  They don’t care!  Cats sleep anywhere

Author: Eleanor Farjeon (1881 – 1965)

I’m quite a laid back and can sleep anywhere, and apparently, from photographic evidence which has been submitted to me, in absolutely any position.

Fast asleep

Too big to fit that circular bed on the top of the cat scratching/climbing/sleeping/hiding combination ..  my tail, back legs and bottom are hanging over the edge of the circle bed and from just over half way along my body .. those parts are hanging over the other edge of the circle bed and I’m fitting myself onto what’s available .  Both of the Cobs were heard to say … “THAT cannot be comfortable” … and yet, as you see,  I obviously am!

I  like to put myself to bed.  A trick I learned from the K9 unit.

See?  Like the poem said …  cat’s sleep anywhere!

We have an ‘elder’ in our family.  She’s a black and white feline, who is now 22 in human years, which means she’s attained the great age of  105 years old  in Cat years.  I look out for her.  I am . . .   THE BODYGUARD!

The elder is a good sport and lets me have three-quarters of this bed, while she squidges up in any space left.

I spend a lot of time with her, especially when she’s in the front garden asleep under the Hydrangea bush.

I protect her from any other cats.

If The Elder is out there, I’m there too, guarding and protecting her.  No one DARES to come near her when I’m there.  Not even that  Ginger [expletive deleted]  from over the road!

She’s half my size but … if she wants my food then I let her have it.  She is The Elder.  I know my place.  P.S….  she’s the one who taught me to ask for food every time I go out and come back in the house again.  It works for her and so far, it’s (almost) working for me.

I exercise by chasing my considerably smaller sister round the house, usually around 10.30pm, but also if my food is two minutes late!  I call this: ‘Playing Cowboys and Indians‘.  Mrs. Cobs calls it:  PANDEMONIUM!  I have been known during this game to clear the width of the sofa – from end to end – in just one leap.  Impressive eh?

My sister  –  a.k.a.  Princess Tippy Toes.

This is how Princess Tippy Toes asks for her dinner.  She lays around the kitchen looking pretty.  pffft!

I am aware when Mr. C is about to play on his  X-Box, and five minutes before he goes to play …  I re-locate to his gaming chair. 

Mr. Cobs Gaming Chair. fnar, fnar, fnar.  More like MY Comfy Chair!

I pretend to be asleep and Mr. C doesn’t remove me, so spends his time playing his game, sitting on the floor to play.  He appears to have great difficulty getting up from this position after he’s finished playing.  Watching him and listening to the noises he makes and the muttered imprecations concerning feline behaviour, is absolutely bally hilarious!  But the fun doesn’t end there … for  . . .  as he turns off his game  . . .  I vacate the game chair and go instead to sit with Mrs. Cobs in the living room.  Mr. Cobs appears not to find this aspect of my behaviour endearing.  (He has no sense of humour!)

I’ve got a healthy pink tongue, and, Mrs. C. says, big chubby cheeks which help me to give the bestest cheek rubs ever!

 I’m single, in good health, glossy coat, rippling muscles, eat well and healthily (most of the time) and I’m adventurous.  I’m caring, protective, loving but maintain a real macho facade.  I have great eyes, teeth and claws, and like to help around the house by checking that the carpets are firmly attached to the floor, and that the rugs are in the correct positions.  (Having good claws comes in handy for this job!).  I like to  ‘chill’  in Mrs. C’s craft room, on a big comfy cushion which she’s put on the floor under one of her desks.  It’s a great room.  It’s cool, airy and quiet – apart from Mrs. Cobs continually talking to herself and asking me my opinion on ribbons, bits and bobs and ‘stuff’ – of which I have no interest, unless they fall on the floor.  THEN I’ll have an interest in them.

… an all action shot of me with my Crack Coke  Cat Nip Banana

I have only one vice …. I very much like Cat-Nip.  It gives me a warm, fuzzy, psychedelic feeling and I have been known to seek out my Cat Nip Banana and steal it, even though Mrs. Cobs has hidden it from me!  (How very dare she!)  Mr. Cobs calls it  “Crack Coke for Cats”,  but I don’t know why because I don’t  drink it.

Mrs C asked me to ‘pose’ for a moment so she could photograph my paws.  Apparently they’re big.  Can you see my ‘thumb’ … sticking out from the side?

So Neruo Cat …  if you’re looking for an all action, caring, sharing Hero …  I’m your Cat.

Cheek rubs  ~  Alf.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And there ends The Reply to Neurotic Cat.  I do hope I have typed his every word exactly as he spoke it to me.  🙂

This wonderful, fabulous, loving, quirky, characterful, amazing, magical, gorgeous, friendly (to everyone) , truly beautiful hearted Cat, walked into my life and continually renews the foot prints which he leaves all over my heart.  He’s such fun and so adorable.  Yes, I admit, he does have his moments, but it’s all part of the great stuff which makes him ‘him’!

What he fails to mention in his reply to Neurotic Cat is that he has the ability to see Fairies.  Yes, he really does.  He plays with them when they come out to play in the evening.  He will scoot up and down the hallway, stopping every now and again to sit upright, taking all his considerable weight onto his bottom and back legs, and will reach up for something which cannot be seen with a human eye, but is quite obviously definitely there, and he’ll tap and play in what appears to be empty air, using soft paws (no claws), and everyone looking on can see that there is no fly or midge ..  so what the divil is he playing with?  What is it which is keeping this stunning creature amused in the way he is?  After perusing all the options,there is only one answer to this question.  He’s playing with Fairies.  Fairies which only he can see.   They must come into the cottage through the Fairy door we have to the side of our own front door. Yes, we really do have a fairy door there.   You don’t believe me?  … take a look …

Can you see it?

Now can you see it?

Have a wonderful Thursday my fabulous blogging friends. –

**To convert cat age to an equivalent human age, an accepted method is to add 15 years for the first year of life. Then add 10 years for the second year of life. After that, add 4 years for every cat year. This means that by year two, a cat has matured to about the same as a 25-year-old human.  There is a website which will work it out for you: www.CalculatorCat.com .

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