Thank Heavens I’d written the password on a post it note & stuck it on my ‘puter!

 

Hello … I’m back!  I‘ve been away for a while.  M.I.A. (Missing In Action)  for what feels like years, and although I kept trying to pick up the blogging ropes again, real life kept  coming up with other stuff and *threw a spanner into my plans and thoroughly messed things up.

*’threw a spanner into . . .’ [normally ‘the works’] is a British term, used when something upsets your plans or messes around with anything you might be doing and generally puts a stop to your plans or ideas etc.

Spanner in the Works by cobs

Where have I been and why?  Well … I’ve not been travelling the world (sadly).  I’ve stayed right where I am, – and I thankfully haven’t had Coronavirus or Covid 19 – so I count that as a massive blessing.   Although health problems did come into the equation.

Originally I lost my crafty mojo.  It was as if my brain had forgotten how to be creative! I have a craft room of amazing incredibleness, and couldn’t seem to be able to bring forth the creativeness which lives inside me 100% of the time.  So to have lost my mojo, for what felt like forever, was upsetting to the point of depressing.  How the heck did I lose my mojo?  It was attached to me like Peter Pans shadow was sewn to him by Wendy Darling.  

LOST MOJO

Then . . . I had a flare up of medical problems.  …   I suffer with the ‘amusing’ problem(s) of nerve damage, caused by a road traffic accident some years ago in which I injured my lower spine.  Added to that,  a beautiful combination, my body developed diabetic neuropathy a few years ago (another nerve damage thing) and these two things decided to gang up together in order to have a little fun of their own making, and it caused horrible havoc in my body for rather a long time.  Miserable pair of beggars. (grrr).

Then … with the belief that I am a Superwoman who can achieve ANYTHING I WANT, (I’m not and I can’t), I tried to shift the garden bench roughly 12 inches, by shoving it with my thigh.  The result of this unbelievable stupidity was a great big,  massively HOT, KABOOM,  felt in my lower spine, – reminding me that I’m not ‘Super’ anything, other than SUPER STUPID!  Which Mr.Cobs confirmed, with those exact words too!

Then … (as if that wasn’t enough), three weeks later, I only went and injured my knee by giving it a thoroughly good whacking on the corner of our big wooden bed.  “Darn it!“,  “Oh dear me!” and For Goodness sake!”  were  sort of  the words which popped out of my mouth, …  followed by some tears.  Mr.Cobs called out an enquiry of:- …. “What the heck was that big bang?”  from the living room, to which I could only tearfully shout back:- “It was ME!”.

Back & knee

So anyway ….   ‘Real Life’ was also going on at the same time, with it’s Coronavirus Lock-down and social distancing;  Mothers Day;  A Grandchild’s Birthday (I’ve spent every birthday with him since he was born…  in fact, I was there when he was born!);   being confined to the house like a prisoner; etc etcThe result was a situation of dreadful fed upness, and some things just had to go onto the back burner until I was ready to pick them up againSo … that’s where I’ve been and that’s some of what kept me ‘busy’ and not blogging!

But anyhoo .  .  .  .  Moving forward  ...  I felt the desire to create something.  But it wasn’t the normal paper, paint, clay, card designing or any of the things I normally create.

I’d seen some really lovely creations made by Textile Artists and had the greatest desire to have a proper ‘go’ at this magical art form.  I had a bit of an idea about using textiles for things other than their intended use, as I’d done a short textiles course about twelve years ago.  But the important thing was that I wanted to try something.  I wanted to create.  My creativeness was putting in a phone call, and I answered the call! 

phone copy

Sooooo I am now officially a self taught Textile Artist.  I’m creating art works using fabric and textiles.

The Textile Artist copy

I’ve made some things which I want to share with you, but I haven’t taken any photos yet, so that’s my job for this week.

I’m also having a ‘go’ at writing a book.  Yup, me!  Some of you said I should write one, and I knew I had a book inside me, waiting to get out, and finally it’s happening.  It’s only at it’s very beginning – but that, according to a song I know – is a very good place to start!

Let's start at the very beginning

It’s so lovely to be back chatting with you.  OH MY GOOD GARDEN CABBAGE!  I almost forgot …  during my ‘away from blog land’ time,  a knock came at the door one day and Mr.Cobs went to answer it.  It was a police lady.  She’d come to enquire about me.  Where I was? and How I was?  Was I there?  Could she see me, please?  Oh.My.Goodness!  – what had I done to cause the Police to come to the door asking to see me?!!!  Totally freaked me out!

Police lady copy

I hobbled to the door with the help of two walking sticks  and the lovely Police lady reassured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but they had received an enquiry that they had to follow up on. Apparently someone via my blog and WordPress, had contacted the authorities and asked for someone to check on me and make sure I was still alive!

I have never felt so guilty for doing nothing than I did right at that moment!

I didn’t even know that you could ask the police to go and check up on someone in this sort of circumstance! 

I had to confirm it really was me by giving my date of birth, place of birth, and various other questions which I can’t now remember, and then she very quietly asked if  everything was OK at home?  Flippin’ heck… she thought Mr.C might have been knocking me about, or keeping me from blogging!   I laughed raucously  … and the police lady began to laugh too.  Well, the end result was that I told her I felt very guilty that valuable Police time had been wasted all because I hadn’t blogged for a while, and I couldn’t apologise enough to her for all this wasting of police time.

She was so sweet, and said that if they receive an enquiry like this, they have a duty to investigate.  She said that someone associated with WordPress and my blog had made the enquiry and she could now send re-assurances that I was indeed alive and it was merely real life and some health problems which were keeping me from blogging at that time.

So .. to whoever it was who made the initial contact with the police – I do hope that you received the confirmation that I was Ok and still alive and that life had simply been a bit of a trial!  Please let me know if it was you, so that I can be re-assured that your concerns were answered.

This all sounds like the last few months of absence have been dreadful, and in some ways they have …  but there have been wonderful moments too.  I had a significant birthday (ending in an 0), which, despite lock down, was so very lovely.  The nicest anniversary – with bunting put up in the garden and afternoon tea.  Some really beautiful, magical changes in our little garden.  Oh! … and … there has been a new addition to the family.  But …  I’ve blathered on for more than long enough, so I’ll tell you about that another time.

Right now … I’d better get going on some photographs so that I can share the evidence of actually being a ‘Textile Artist’!   (I’m sure I’ll still be working with papers, clay, paint and card again at some point so please don’t give up on me!).

In the meantime, I send my love and one huge bucket of squidges to each of you.

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Things I’ve learned this week.

Hello, and HAPPY FRIDAY!  Today isn’t just the 14th of April, here in the UK.  Today is also Good Friday.

For those who might not know:  Good Friday is a Christian holiday to commemorate, or remember and give great respect to,  the event which we know as the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and his death at Calvary,  which is told in the Christian bible.

I hope your week has been a good one, and that if any gremlins got into any of your days, you were able to scoot around them and play them at their own gremlin games.

My week has been ….  interesting.  Let me explain.

I learned YET AGAIN this week that the minute I go out and buy new nail polish …. I break a nail.  However this week, I bought THREE new nail polishes.  I wonderful deep wine colour, a fabulous nude colour and a lovely nut colour.  Three ….  now this alone SHOULD have told me what was about to happen…  but I just didn’t listen to what the universe was trying to tell me.

Well …  my hands, fingers and more importantly my nails, were all plotting against me and the day after I bought said nail varnishes … I broke not one but two fingernails. The next day I broke another fingernail and a thumb nail.  After that … the whole of my ‘nail world’  took a massive trip south, and I broke every single nailI now look like I have never had nice hands and wouldn’t know them if they poked me!   Hmpftttt!

I learned about these things this week too …

Coyotes in the United States have learnt how traffic lights work so that they can cross the road safely.  Yes.  Seriously!  (I know!  It made me smile from ear to ear too!) lol.

Franz Liszt was the first musician to have women’s underwear thrown at him.

Elvis (and this one blew me away...)…  was born with blonde hair.  His hair began to darken in his teens and by the age of 22, his hair colour was dark chestnut.

Echidna
An Echidna.  (photograph credit Australia Zoo)

A baby echidna is called a ‘puggle’.  (Isn’t that just one of the nicest words to say?  Try it;  “Puggle”.  It has a kind of in-built giggle).

Puggle
…  and this …  is a Puggle.  (photo credit:  Australia Zoo).

And on moving on from ‘cute’, and turning to …. well,  this:

I learned that in 2013, in Turkey, thieves stole an entire 22 tonne,  82 foot metal bridge overnight.   Yes, no joking!  It was the village’s main bridge over a local creek.

According to the Turkish publicationToday’s Zaman’, the dumbfounded villagers, who needed the bridge to reach their orchards, alerted police about the theft.  Police suspected that thieves dismantled the 82-ft.-long span to sell it as scrap metal — probably for about $12,000 at that time.

Aww … and this tickled me:

The very first armoured presidential car was a Cadillac that had previously belonged to  . . . .   –  wait for it  –  . . .   Al Capone.  (Al Capone – Used Furniture Dealer – as we’ve previously discussed!).

al-capone

If you are of a sensitive nature and don’t like any descriptive discussion regarding the mating of animals,  PLEASE skip the next fact:

We talked, a couple of weeks ago, about Ladybirds mating.  Now I’m going to edumacate you regarding bees…

Male bees – ‘drones’  – are happy to leave the business of the hive to the female workers,  leaving them free to pursue their sole vocation:  mating with the queen. Most of them are frustrated in this ambition, and those that make it die in the act.  After the lucky drone has caught the queen and mounted her,  he explodes with an audible pop as he ejaculates.  He then falls off the Queen Bee, usually leaving a portion of his phallus behind him.

And a little more Bee information which I’ve learned this week  (this time it’s not about s.e.x.):

Some bees literally shake pollen out of flowers by humming very loudly at them. Rapid muscle contractions produce forces of up to 30G – about three times the force of a fighter jet making a tight turn  – and the vibrations dislodge pollen grains from a flower’s anthers, in a process called ‘buzz pollination‘ or ‘sonication‘.  Honeybees don’t do it, but bumblebees and many others do;  various economically important plants, including kiwi fruits, blueberries and cranberries, are pollinated in this way.

Fascinating, eh?

More throw away little bits of interesting things I learned this week …

The chairman of a company is four times more likely to be a psychopath than the doorman.

China gets a new skyscraper every five days.

In 1999, more than 3,000 people were hospitalised after . . .  tripping over a laundry basket!  (I kid ye not!)

And finally, on our voyage of fascinating facts …  just to spoil your Easter of chocolate eating . . .

A lethal dose of chocolate for a human being is about 22 lb or 40 bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.  A single M&M is enough to kill a small songbird.

And now … the reason you’re really here ….

THE JOKES!

What did one eye say to the other eye?  Between the two of us, something smells.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?   Don’t worry. He’s completely recovered.

What did the Ocean say to the boat?  Nothing, it just waves

What happens when you throw a white hat into the red sea?  . . . . .  It gets wet

What did the banana say to the hippo? . . . . Nothing, Bananas don’t talk

How do you light up a Tennis Stadium? . . . . With a good match.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? . . . It just let out a little wine.

and finally

here’s one for my favourite Chicken …. (Chicken Grandma)

What do you call a chicken at the north pole?  . . .  Lost

😀

Well that’s it …. well no, actually … that’s almost it.  I have a letter I need to post:

Dear Toys R Us I’ve had to visit my nearest store three times during the past week, and not once has any member of your staff smiled, acknowledged me by looking me in the eye when making an enquiry, or even looked at me when I made a purchase.  You need to do some staff retraining and possibly show your staff that they’re important to you so that they know that WE are important to you too.  I shall be writing more about this directly to you,  Trust Me.  ~  A furrowed brow customer, Cobs.

Ok … I’ve run to the post office and posted that, so all that’s left to do is to say a BIG THANK YOU to you for coming and having a coffee with me.  I so love seeing you here, all crowded around the kitchen table, laughing, chatting and just having a bit of fun.  Such a great feeling.

I wish you a lovely Friday, followed by a truly fantabulous weekend.  Do something different this weekend.  Go somewhere you haven’t been before.  Read a book you’ve been meaning to read.  Make a phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.  Tell someone how much you enjoy their company,  or appreciate them for _____   ….  well whatever it is you appreciate them for.

Make yourself happy, and make someone else happy.  It’s important.

Sending big Easter Squidges, from me here in my corner, to you there in yours.

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Blue Sky Tag Award Nomination

Mrs. Craft of: craftandothercrazyplans  totally made my day by nominating me for this ‘Blue Sky Tag’ award.  Thank you Mrs.Craft.  I’m truly honoured and totally cock-a-hoop at being bestowed such a lovely award.  It sort of lets me know that I must be doing  OK’ish’  for you to have thought of me.  Bless your heart.  I’m so very grateful to you. xxx

The task I have to complete in order to win the award is…

  1. Answer a set of questions which have been set by Mrs.Craft.
  2. Nominate 5 other blogs/people for the Blue Sky Tag award
  3. Set 5 Questions for the people I’ve nominated to answer. (it was supposed to be six, but I felt Five questions were more do-able,  any more could be a pain.  So five is what I’ve kept it to).

And that’s it.  Nothing more to do.

Soooo…  I’ll jump straight in and answer the questions Mrs.Craft has set, and I hope to both make her proud of her choice, and also give you a little entertainment along the way.  🙂

      1. What time of day are you most creative?    In the afternoons, leading into early evening.  Never in the mornings, unless something is pressingly urgent.  ...  for that read:  I’ve forgotten someone’s birthday and can’t simply buy a card because I know there are expectations for me to have made one.  A special one.  A VERY special one.  More special than anything ever seen before.  And I know that if I don’t come up with the goods, then someone is going to feel really upset and even quietly cross, that I didn’t obviously care enough to go the extra mile.  (Guilt plays a HUGE part in my life.  I am a slave to Master/Mistress Guilt).
      2. If you could try any new creative art, what would it be and why?  Well, I’ve tried rather a lot of them.  You see …  I’ve been a crafter almost all of my life.  I’ve done:  Card Making;  Pottery;  Jewellery Making;  Knitting;  Sewing;  Embroidery;  Felting;  Scrapbooking;  Melt Potting;  Painting – on canvas and paper;  Painting – decorative painting for house things;  Wreath making;   Floristry;  Tag Art;  Stone painting;  Decorative Painting on walls  (I even painted a woodland scene on a reception wall at my daughters first school). ATC’s and ACEO’s. …   Oh heck …  there’s more but my brain is beginning to hurt now as I’m trying to rememberise all this stuff! lol  …  But – there is one craft which I’m currently trying to master, and that’s Crochet.  I’m teaching myself and I have had a little bit of a success, but  my efforts do not live up to my aspirations.  :/   So work continues.  lol

        Raggedy Old Stool 1
        Evidence that if something sits still long enough, I’ll paint it.  This is now rather an old stool.  We tried to work out how old, and we think it’s between 15 and 17 years old

        Raggedy Old Stool 2
        I took FLASH ON and Flash OFF photo’s and none of them were particularly any good, but I’ll share them both with you so that you get an idea.

        Raggedy Old Stool 3
        A happy little chicken keeps guard on one side of the stool.

        Raggedy Old Stool 4
        A funky chicken keeps guard on the one side of the stool.

        Raggedy Old Stool 5
        Getting close up and personal!

        Raggedy Old Stool 6
        Two hanging hearts, hanging from a (painted) nail.

        Raggedy Old Stool 7
        that’s all folks!  😀
      3. Which famous artist/author/crafter would you like to meet?  Oh My Goodness!  Coo that’s a question and a half.  There are TONS of crafters I would like to meet.  Far too many of them to list just a few, and it would be awful to miss anyone out, so I won’t name any names as I love too many.  (is it possible to love too many crafters?  I think not).  😀  Authors  … ahhh now then, I could begin in my childhood and continue through to my daughters childhoods and name tons.   An elderly neighbour, Mrs. Cooke, from my young child years got me reading Catherine Cookson books from around the age of 7, and I ADORED them and her style of writing.  She has such a wonderful way of  ‘writing a picture’ and I could see everything inside my little head as if I were stood quietly in the corner watching things unfold.  From that came a life long love of Catherine Cookson … and I cried when they announced that she’d passed on, back in 1998.  I had at that point, every single book she’d written.  As I bought the books,  I read and kept every one.  With my first weeks wages I earned, the first thing I did was go into town and buy a Catherine Cookson book. And I never stopped buying until she passed away.  After that, books began to be produced, still in her name, and written in the same way and style, but they weren’t HER.  So I simply couldn’t buy them.  A few years ago I decided that I needed to pare down  the books I owned (not just Cookson – I read a LOT), and I chose certain books which were my absolute, never to part with, favourites as my ‘keeps’,  and gave all but a favourite few of my Cookson collection to the secretary at my daughters school.  Her mother (the secretary’s mother) was living in an Elderly Peoples home, and the residents didn’t have a great selection of reading material at that point.  They were trying to build a library for the residents,  so I donated all my Cookson books to that library, and apparently they went down a smash hit with the ladies there.  But I still own my favourites and still read them – even though I know them like the old friends they are.  Now we come to Artist …  awww again, I have a selection….  One would have to be  Beryl Cook.

        Beryl Cook - A Full House
        a painting by Beryl Cook – titled  ‘A Full House’

        If you don’t know who she is, Google her name and then view ‘Images’.  She paints in quite a naive(ish) sort of way, but includes such a ton of fun into her fabulous cheeky pieces and they tickle the heck out of me.  I think she and I would have got along fine and dandy.   Also Stanley Spencer – another English artist, who had such great talent for detail.  (Something I love).  His paintings can keep you looking, and looking, and looking – until you don’t realise how much time has passed and you’ve been hypnotised to the spot and held captive.

        Stanley Spencer Angels of the Apocalypse
        a painting by Stanley Spencer – entitled Angels of the Apocalypse

        Of course … there are the world known (paint) artists such as Raphael, (The Deliverance of Saint Peter is a fabulously pure work of heart)

        The Deliverance of St. Peter - by Raphael
        a painting by RaphaelThe Deliverance of Saint Peter.

        Then there’s Michelangelo who I’d love to have met and watched working.  I could add also Walter Crane – who’s paintings can make me gasp with delight.  And Theodor Severin Kittelsen …  such a huge talent and fabulously rich style.  Aw heck.. I could go on.  Please do Google any names you’re not familiar with and take a look at their art.

      4. What has been your longest craft project?  MeI’m my longest craft project.  I’m continually trying to make me a ‘better’ me.  It’s a never-ending project.
      5. What injuries have you sustained as a result of being creative?  Oh Lord!  My most continual one has to be the HOT GLUE GUN!  People out there who have never used one ….  I give you the biggest tip I can give to anyone …  When you plug in your glue gun to heat up, in the time you’re waiting, go and half fill a bowl with cold water.  This is so that when you get that hot glue on your fingers (and particularly your finger nails) you can instantly plunged the affected part into cold water and hold it there for a time.  You will never know pain like hot glue until you learn about it and feel it for yourself.  This tip is a SERIOUS ONE.  No jokes.
      6. What was your first ever creative project?  Probably painting when I was little.  Or … maybe pasta shapes stuck to card.  Something like that I would guess.  But my first serious one was making myself a nightdress out of one of my mothers old sheets.  She was going to throw it out and I begged for it.  She didn’t have a clue what I was going to make, but coooo – was she surprised when, some weeks later, I’d finished my project (which I’d been doing in secret) and put it on to show her.  It was all hand sewn, and even had little flowers and leaves which I’d embroidered, at the neckline.  I was so chuffed with how that turned out, and I wore it  until I eventually grew out of it.

Now it’s time for the nomination of 5 Crafters ….

I would like to nominate the following 5 crafters. It was a tough job to get it down to 5 as I personally would want all the blogs I follow to be awarded solid gold stars, simply for allowing me to follow them and putting up with my ramblings when I comment on their blogsBelieve me … they need awards for that alone!  🙂

  1.  Kim Styles Cards
  2. GluCrafted.com
  3. Puddleside Musings
  4. Paper and Ink Imaginings
  5. More Ink Please

Congratulations all!  You all have such fabulous style and I really enjoy and love your blogs.

All you now have to do is answer the 5 Questions below in a blog post on your blog.  You have to link back to this post, so that any of your readers can follow the chain and read other blogs so they’re not missing out on even more crafty fun!   After that you yourself get to nominate 5 blogs you follow and set questions for them!

Now I have to set 5 questions for these blog owners to answer, so listen up you folks, you have to answer these 5 questions:

  1.  When the crafting bug bit you  what was the first thing you made which gave you a sense of joy when you looked at your creation?
  2. Do you drive anyone in your family crazy with your crafting?  And if so … why?
  3. Do you buy anyone elses hand crafted items, and if so, what is that item likely to be?
  4. I have no doubt that you craft for other people … but do you ever make anything for yourself?  And if so … what things have you made for yourself?
  5. Do you sell your items, and  ... Where do you sell them?  Perhaps you could give us all a link so that if we’d like to buy from you we can!  (go on …  advertise yourself!)

And that, as they say, is all there is to it.  Once you’ve done this, you can then pick up the Blue Tag award from the top of this post, and take it to your own blog to use as the head of your post, and also put it in your awards over in your widget bar, if you do that.

Thank you so much for coming and having a bit of a read and a coffee with me.  It means so much to me and I love seeing you.  I normally try to post something crafty which I’ve made on a Monday, but I thought that I really should work on this nomination as I’ve had it for a whole week (or so) and really shouldn’t sit around crafting when I have something of importance to do.  tsk tsk Cobs!

Have a wonderful Monday – whatever you’re doing, wherever you’re doing it, and whatever the weather is like.  And remember …  be good to each other.

Great big squidges from me here, to you there  ~ 

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