Hot Weather – The Art of Cobwebs

Happy Friday, 26th May. It’s the last Friday of May. Time, as we’ve already agreed, passes fast now.

It’s ‘been a week’ this week. There’s been some fun. But then there have been some very low spots.

For those of you who don’t know … I live in the United Kingdom, and I’m pretty sure you’ll all know about the savage brutality which happened in my country on Monday, the 22nd of May.

The first thing my brain said was: ‘Why? Why in the name of God would someone believe that it’s OK to kill someone? Anyone? Children, teens, through to Grandma’s and grown ups. Why?’

And … that’s the thing. Exactly what is it which happens inside someone’s brain, which convinces them to kill, maim, injure, mutilate, lacerate, disfigure, and mangle innocent people in order to ‘please’ their God?

Who’s God tells them that this is OK?

NO God is going to tell ANYONE that it’s OK to kill any other person. In fact it’s the exact opposite of that which ANY God would say.

Someone is brain-washing these people, because that’s the only way that someone is going to have their normal thinking brain, turned into a willing slave in order to carry out someone elses instructions.

I’ve cried many hot tears over this vile act of evil savagery and even now, 4 days later, I know I’m still not all cried out. However, something a dear blogging friend, Chicken Grandma, said on her blog a couple of days ago, as a reply to a comment I posted: “May we be light, may we be strong, may we be courageous, and may we as people of the world stand united in the process of bringing sanity back.”.

And she’s right. We must be strong, courageous, and we must stand united in bringing back the sanity to our World. We must also try to love those who wish to do us harm. For two wrongs don’t make a right. An eye for an eye simply ends up making the whole world blind.

If we are to overcome, we must all stand together as one, and, using love, save this world.

Shall we move onto something more entertaining?

Mr. Cobs shared this with me this week …

He was reading the papers, on-line, and came across a story about a product being sold on Amazon which tickled the heck out of him. (He does have a very ‘off centre’ sort of sense of humour – but then, look who he’s married to! lol)

The details of the product read like this: (if you have trouble reading or looking at any photos, right-click on the photo and click to ‘view image’ – and it will open up in a larger size.)

Now that seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it? A toilet brush … gives you the idea that you’ll know what to use it for… however … someone decided they’d have a little fun with some feedback for this . . . (ladies … do you have on your Depends?) . . .

Well dear ol’ Mr.C was laughing his head off – but at the same time trying to keep it together, and he was going red in the face and sounded more like Muttley than Cobs the Bogeyman!

Once I’d seen it … I sounded like that too. lol. Apparently it’s quite a trend, I understand, to outdo anyone else with the funny feedback on things. I found out that reviews for Sugar Free Gummie Bears are among the funniest things to read on Amazon. lol

What else have I learned this week?

That Indian Curries are now off the menu. I came late to Indian food. I was pregnant with daughter number 2 when all of a sudden I announced that the neighbour must have been making a curry, and it smelled DELICIOUS!

Before this I hated curry. The smell could make me heave. But suddenly, at six months pregnant with second child, all I wanted was an Indian curry. Mr. Cobs thought he’d died and gone to heaven! The very next day he bought everything required for making one, and made it, and I’ve eaten curries Indian food ever since. Until now. Now that I’ve reached over the age of ___ it would seem that my body is now saying NO MORE to Indian food. Actually … it’s begun saying no more to a fair few different bits of food. It’s making me quite cross. How very dare it move me into a boring diet of denial.

Deny me this. Deny me that. Deny me everything I might find enjoyable. It’s even now stopped me from eating …. CUCUMBER! Cucumber is basically water with a green skin. So what’s the problem? [sigh]

I also learned this week … yet again .… that I HATE the hot hot heat of summer. I live in the south of the country (England) by the sea, and it get’s quite ‘hot’ here in the summer. I don’t like the summer much because it causes me to get grumpy and makes some medical ‘issues’ I have so much worse that it’s tiresome and annoying.

Note to other drivers on the road: Drive NICELY. Don’t cut me up nor follow so closely behind me that it’s obscene, during the heat of the summer. Because I become something other than the sweet thing you might think I am to look at me. Trust me. Mightier men than you have tried to show me, ‘the little woman’, that their driving is wonderful … and I’ve left them crying and sucking their thumbs. DRIVE NICELY in the summer, around where I live, or else! You have been warned.

Well … this last week it’s been hot. Very hot. Too hot. VERY MUCH too hot. We have ceiling fans … but even those aren’t helping. They seem to just be moving hot air around. And now … I’m feeling like a grumpy moo. I’m hot. I’m sticky. And I’m not in a great mood.

Note to self: When I win the lottery (big time), I’m going to pay someone to fan me. I shall lay on a bed of hand-made cotton mattresses – 8 deep. (Think Princess and the Pea), wearing nothing but a muslin ‘gown’ (designed by a tent maker), and be fanned by my personal fanner. Ahhh… just the thought is putting my mood right. 😀

Kind of on the same subject ... I also learned this week that my Grandsons (Little Cobs) school has been forced to employ a parking attendant for when mummies and daddies collect their darlings from school at the end of the day. (3pm)

I learned that this parking attendant (a tall man of somewhere between 30 to 40) has let the job title, and the yellow High Vis jacket (much like the motorway police wear) go to his head, and he’s become a bossy so and so.

I watched him, as I was sat roasting at the equivalent to Gas Mark 6, in my car, in the full sun. He arrived on site and without even leaving his car, he wound down the window and instantly told a woman to move her car out of the reserved parking space. (Which she did. A rookie mistake) He then parked his car in that space, got out of his car, put on his yellow High Visibility jacket and then walked over to her where she’d now parked her car on the corner of a bend on the school grounds, and directed her to go and park on the road outside the school.

It was at this point that Mr.Cobs was to hear me say, low and in a rather wishful thinking voice: “Ohhhh…. I DO hope he comes here and tells me where to park my car”.

Because Little Cobs has a disability (Cerebral Palsy) his mummy and daddy are allowed to park on the school grounds to collect their son. However, we are sometimes called into action to collect him. And the problem is that although the school know when we will be coming (instead of Mommy or Daddy), we don’t have the special parking permit which one is supposed to display in order to park on the premises. So, strictly speaking, he should have noticed that I was parked without a permit.

I was hot. Roasting in the direct sunshine, and I saw him being a little officious and pumped up at wearing his High Vis. jacket. I SO wanted him to come to my car and attempt to ‘talk to the little lady’ (me) about parking else where. I so wanted to explain to him that the only place I would be parking my car other than right where it was, would require him to bend over.

He went to another car and told the driver off for parking where they were parked. Yet…. they weren’t in anyone’s way, and they had just loaded a disabled grandchild into the car. (More grandparents in the same situation as us). The gentleman behind the wheel obviously told him in a polite way that he wasn’t moving the car because there was another child to collect …. but he would move the car once said child was collected.

Again… I voiced … “Go on… come and tell me to move my car“. He didn’t. Maybe he recognised a woman who was suffering the heat of being baked in a tin box, waiting for a ‘challenging situation’ to happen. Whatever it was, he gave my car a miss. Maybe … next time. 🙂

Well … I’m pretty certain that there are more things which I’ve learned this week, however, my head’s a colander and things drain out of those holes, even when I try to stop them from falling out.

However … we now are in requirement of a few jokes, so without further ado, I give you . . .

THE JOKES

A woman called the airline  customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Sure,” said customer services, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed:  “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

❤ ❤ ❤

Q: What do Pandas have that no other animal in the world has?

A: click and drag–> Baby Pandas<—

❤ ❤ ❤

Q: I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?

A: click and drag–> A stamp.<—

❤ ❤ ❤

Q: How many seconds are there in one year?

A: click and drag-> 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.<—

❤ ❤ ❤

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

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And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

❤ ❤ ❤

and finally . . .

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me. I so enjoy our Friday get togethers.

I hope for you a fabulous Friday. May the day be peace filled and enjoyable. And may your weekend be one which leaves you feeling like you’ve actually done something with your time. That’s always a great feeling!

Sending love, from me in my corner, to you in yours. Be good to each other, and … may your God go with you.

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What have I learned this week? Well I’ve learned quite a few things, and I share them with you here so that you will learn what a person of little brain does and then not do these things yourselves. I’m actually considering asking the Government if perhaps they should sponsor me as a kind of warning to all humans. I wonder if they’d buy the idea?

Anyhoo … down to business, . . . shall we?

I’ve learned not to absently mindedly pick, pull and scrape at all that dried on glue gel which coated the pad of my thumb a few hours before and as it dried, numbed the feeling on my thumb. I learned while engrossed in watching a film, that what feels like there’s still glue there, actually isn’t. I didn’t realise at the time that what I was actually gently peeling off my thumb, was little strips of numbed SKIN, off the pad of my thumb! I’d share a photo of the damage which ‘an idiot with no supervision’ can do to herself, however, I respect you too much, and there’s no way I’m putting you through the trauma!

I’ve learned that you need to use that pad of your left thumb ever such a lot, – more than you ever dreamed you do, (even if you’re right-handed like me) and when it’s injured/damaged, you can’t use it because it hurts like billyo when you try to unscrew the top off a jar, or (even more hellish) the top off the lemonade bottle. All those ridges on one of those tops are there for you to get ‘purchase’ on the lid. However, with a damaged thumb, they are a form of SELF INFLICTED TORTURE!

I’ve learned that baking HOT weather plus pain, do not make great bosom buddies, and the knock on effect is that it makes one very short-tempered. Thankfully saying sorry isn’t something I find difficult to do. I’ve had a lot of practise. 🙂

And finally …

I’ve learned that we are all made of stardust. Yes. You read that correctly. Human beings are all made of stardust.

No, I didn’t believe this either, but it peaked my interest, so I went in search of information which would help me to learn if this was true. So I went to NASA.

Guess what I learned . . . we actually really are made stardust!

I know that sounds like I’m at the start of a fairytale or some long-held myth, but I’m not. This incredible statement has facts to back it up.

Now I won’t bore you to tears with a long explanation but I do need to explain a little, so pin back your lug holes and pay attention. (There will be a test at the end) …

Once upon a time, when the Universe was nothing but a young baby, it was made of hydrogen and helium atoms. These two things are still responsible for over 98% of the Universe’s mass, but the heavier elements were created in stars.

The very first generation of stars didn’t have planets orbiting them, (except maybe gas giants made purely of hydrogen and helium, but without enough mass to ignite like stars do). What happened in those first stars and is still happening in stars today is a process where lighter elements fuse (or ‘change’) into heavier elements with the help of gravity pressuring them together (Imagine kind of modging two balls of clay or dough together so that they look as if there was only ever just one) and this process turns protons into neutrons. This ‘thing’ process is called the stellar nucleosynthesis. (remember this word, you’ll need it again in a minute).

OY!! Stop gazing out of the window you, at back of the class! Pay attention please, you’re learning something here for free! There are some people have paid a pound or possibly more (!) to learn this stuff in posh colleges and fancy universities!

When stars start running out of hydrogen (which it needs in order to turn it into helium), at their core they start producing heavier elements from their helium supply.

Then, after time, they begin creating even heavier elements; then heavier; and heavier. This process finally ends when the chemical element IRON is created. It’s at this point that the star has sadly run out of fuel.

Stars which aren’t as massive will deplete their fuel before their core becomes iron, but the point is that all elements up to and including iron, are created in stars in nucleosynthesis. (See… told you to remember that word. There it is again! Get ready … because it’s putting in another appearance in a minute).

Any of the elements which are heavier than iron are produced in a couple of moments after the very massive star with an iron core has collapsed under its own weight. This is what’s called supernova – and the creation of elements during this process is supernova nucleosynthesis. (Told you it would pop up again!)

Now … by mass, we are made of:- 65% oxygen, 18% carbon, 10% hydrogen and 7% other elements. There are no helium atoms in the human body. This means that 90% of your body was made of elements that never even existed before the first generation of stars created them. So yes, we are made of stardust. (And what’s more …. some of the atoms inside our bodies were made in supernova explosions that happened billions of years ago).

You learn something new every day that you know me, don’t you?

I wonder what little gem you’ll remember from todays lessons. <nods in agreement> Yeah … I reckon it will be the glue on the thumb thing too.

So … are you all singing the Matthews Southern Comfort version of Stardust?? Or are you too young to know about this song? Either way …. I’ve been and had a search and share it with you here: