Creme Eggs – The Art of Cobwebs

Act 1, scene 1: Setting the scene:-

[The door is flung open. She’s arrived, but not under her own steam. She was blown through the door with the great force of a wind which took no prisoners. And she arrived with as much grace as a cow in a china shop and making about the same amount of noise too!].

WHOOO!!! Flipping heck, its windy out there! I don’t know about the weather where you are, but here in the UK (in various places dotted around Great Britain), Storm Doris has blown in and she’s making sure that her presence is felt. Folks here have christened today (Thursday evening, as I’m writing this), Doris Day. HA! Love it. (actually giggle to myself every time I say it. Doris Day. Love that soooo much!).

The odd thing about the weather this week is that I went out two days before Doris Day wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a lightweight jacket. I ended up taking the jacket off and leaving it in the car because it was SO hot!

We have a saying here: … ‘Come to the UK and experience Snow; Wind; Rain; Hail; Sleet; Sunshine; Warmth; Heat; and Hotter than hot. In fact all of the weathers, all in one day!’

This week has been a mixed week. I seem to have done much but only have a little bit to show for it. I made a card for a blogging friends mum, who had broken her ankle. I have photos, and now that the card has been received the other end, I can share the piccies with you. I’ll blog the pictures in the next couple of days. After making the card, I decided it was about time I cleaned my craft room and moved a few things around which were now in the wrong place. Oh. My. Goodness! Nightmare In the Craft Room time! I got about half way through and really wished I hadn’t started this task.

I’m still finishing off. And I’ll be so glad when everything is put in its rightful place, and all the papers and trimmings have all been put back where they belong. phew!

Anyhoo... you haven’t come here to listen to my ramblings about cleaning up. You’ve come to get some edumacation. (Yes I know it’s ‘education’ … but I prefer my word. lol)

So … shall we dive in and get educationamalised? Strap yourself in. Ready? And we’re OFF! . . .

This week … I learned to leave a fresh from the oven pizza all alone for at least five minutes and NOT to take a bite of a slice until 5 minutes have passed. How did I learn this? …. picture the scene dear reader …

The smells from the oven were over-whelming. A gorgeous, tummy rumbling, nose twitchy sensation, hunger pangs sort of way. The whole house smelled of the fabulous roasted vegetables which topped the pizza, along with the two different cheeses, and the little circles of garlic butter (the size of a penny) which dotted the top of the pizza. And the Garlic bread which was cooking at the same time.

The timer dinged, sounding out its permission to remove that pizza from the oven. Pizza and garlic bread were removed, and salad was waiting for the finished dishes. The pizza was cut, popped onto the plates and served up. The smell was way too much. I couldn’t wait … I lifted that slice up to my lips and took a bite of that fabulous triangular bit which came from the centre of the pizza.

What happened next was something that should have been reported on the news! (Unfortunately the POTUS pushed me off the top spot so I never even got a mention!).

What I didn’t know about that Pizza was that the toppings and the cheese came from the depths of the core of a Volcano. So hot. SO SO SO – H.O.T.!!! Not spicy hot. Hot as in ‘let me put an iron straight out of the blacksmith’s fire into your mouth and you bite down on it for a moment or two’. Yeah, that sort of HOT.

I burnt the roof of my mouth behind my two front teeth. Not just a little burn. No. I don’t do things by halves. When I do things I go full-out and do ’em good. Ohhhh… the roof of my mouth was sore for days. The ‘problem’ lasted 4/5 days before I could brush my teeth in the normal way. In the: “I’m thinking about sunshine and flowers. What am I wearing today?. Why do I have the entire cast of the four-legged members of this household all in this tiny bathroom with me, looking up at me, waiting for me to what? Tickle them all maybe?” … way.

I had to concentrate very, v. e. r. y. carefully as I brushed the backs of those two teeth. None of that brushing the gums as well motion. Noooooooo. I had to be sure that I brushed the teeth and only the teeth. I had experienced the pain which occurred when I brushed the normal way I do, and I didn’t want to experience that again. Care needed to be taken.

So I learned that I shouldn’t be a pig with Pizza. Wait …. wait…. and wait some more … until the pizza was cool enough before you take a bite. Good lesson to learn.

I’ve also learned this week: That the Cadbury’s factory make 600,000 Creme eggs every 12 hours, and all those eggs, if weighed, weigh THREE TIMES HEAVIER than an elephant. The moral of this tale is … don’t eat more than one Cadbury Creme egg a week – unless you want to become an elephant.

I also learned that the Cadbury Brothers released the first filled eggs in 1923, but the Creme Eggs we all know today were introduced to stores only in 1963. They were initially named Fry’s Creme Eggs. But in 1971, they were rebranded as Cadbury’s Creme Eggs.

Each Creme Egg consists of 180 calories.

According to a survey done by Cadbury, there are different ways of eating the Creme Egg: 53 percent of people bite off the top, lick out the cream, then eat the chocolate; 20 percent just bite straight through; whereas six percent use their finger to scoop out the cream.

Which group do you fit into?

I also learned this week that I miss some of the funny people from our films and TV screens who have either parted company with us, or chosen to sit back and enjoy life, or just aren’t getting the jobs offered to them anymore. People such as Steve Martin. Bill Murray. John Candy. Robin Williams (I will never stop missing him). Leslie Nielson. Chevy Chase. Danny DeVito. Peter Sellers. Vince Vaughn. Jane Lynch. Dan Aykroyd.

We need to laugh more. I’m starting a movement for more funny stuff on TV. Lobby your TV stations and tell them that in these difficult times in which we live, we need more funny stuff on TV!

I learned this week … or should that be realised? No, we’ll stick to learned. I learned this week that I’m totally dumbfounded at how my attitudes towards certain things have changed as I’ve got older.

Things which were, in my opinion, ‘set in stone’ when I was in my twenties are now just not important at all. Stuff which was so crucial in my thirties, really aren’t anything I bother about now. Things which were of great significance are now … meh. They can all just slide on by me now.

What is important to me now is knowing that I am loved, and that the people I love KNOW I love them. Can see that I love them.

Our (Mr.Cobs and I) two children, who had their trying times and their ‘I’m going to pour her down the drain‘ moments … I now look back and see that in actual fact all that worry about them when they were in their teens, was just me being an over protective mum. I could see where ‘the dangers’ were and so would try to head them off before daughters 1 and 2 got to them. But … I shouldn’t have. They needed to learn, just like we all did. Only by learning the lesson ‘the hard way’, would they actually learn what the needed to – that being … how to deal with the problem!

So … young mums reading ... allow your children to learn about the things they’re going to need to know about in adulthood. Even if it’s how to get the lid off the Tupperware container … or how to sort their dirty clothes into piles of whites, darks and mixed colours! And WHY they need to learn that. It’s a valuable lesson – knowing not to put all the washing in the machine without sorting it out and only washing the right things with each other …. as we’ve all learned! 😀

But … enough of my ramblings! … I know what you’re waiting for … the JOKES!

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

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A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

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Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: The Telephone.

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Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

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A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the bank teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

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and last but not least …. this little thing which I saw this week and it tickled the heck out of me . . .

Well that’s us done and dusted and all caught up for another Friday! And not just any Friday either! Today is the last Friday in this month. Next Friday it will already be March. We’re really racing through these months, aren’t we. Phew. I can barely keep up.

I hope your Friday is a lovely one. A day which passes without any problems, and no gremlins getting into the hours.

May your weekend be the weekend you’re hoping for. May you sleep well and wake up feeling wonderful.