Things I’ve Learned This Week

Happy Friday, 26th May.  It’s the last Friday of May. Time, as we’ve already agreed, passes fast now.

It’s  ‘been a week’  this week. There’s been some fun.  But then there have been some very low spots.

For those of you who don’t know …  I live in the United Kingdom, and I’m pretty sure you’ll all know about the savage brutality which happened in my country on Monday, the 22nd of May.

The first thing my brain said was:  ‘Why?  Why in the name of God would someone believe that it’s OK to kill someone?  Anyone?  Children, teens, through to Grandma’s and grown ups.  Why?’

And … that’s the thing.  Exactly what is it which happens inside someone’s brain, which convinces them to kill,  maim,  injure,  mutilate,  lacerate,  disfigure,  and mangle innocent people in order to ‘please’  their  God?

Who’s God tells them that this is OK? 

NO God is going to tell ANYONE that it’s OK to kill any other person.  In fact it’s the exact opposite of that which ANY God would say.

Someone is brain-washing these people, because that’s the only way that someone is going to have their normal thinking brain, turned into a willing slave in order to carry out someone elses instructions.

I’ve cried many hot tears over this vile act of evil savagery and even now, 4 days later, I know I’m still not all cried out.    However, something a dear blogging friend, Chicken Grandma,  said on her blog a couple of days ago, as a reply to a comment I posted:  “May we be light, may we be strong, may we be courageous, and may we as people of the world stand united in the process of bringing sanity back.”. 

And she’s right.  We must be strong, courageous, and we must stand united in bringing back the sanity to our World.  We must also try to love those who wish to do us harm.  For two wrongs don’t make a right.  An eye for an eye simply ends up making the whole world blind.

If we are to overcome, we must all stand together as one, and, using love,  save this world.

Shall we move onto something more entertaining?

Mr. Cobs shared this with me this week …

He was reading the papers, on-line, and came across a story about a product being sold on Amazon which tickled the heck out of him.  (He does have a very ‘off centre’ sort of sense of humour – but then, look who he’s married to! :/ lol)

The details of the product read like this:  (if you have trouble reading or looking at any photos, right-click on the photo and click to ‘view image’ – and it will open up in a larger size.)

Loo Brush 1

Now that seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it?  A toilet brush … gives you the idea that you’ll know what to use it for…  however …  someone decided they’d have a little fun with some feedback for this  . . .  (ladies … do you have on your Depends?) . . .

Loo Brush feedback1

Well dear ol’ Mr.C was laughing his head off – but at the same time trying to keep it together, and he was going red in the face and sounded more like Muttley than Cobs the Bogeyman!

Once I’d seen it …  I sounded like that too.  lol.  Apparently it’s quite a trend, I understand, to outdo anyone else with the funny feedback on things.  I found out that reviews for Sugar Free Gummie Bears are among the funniest things to read on Amazon.  lol

What else have I learned this week?

That Indian Curries are now off the menu.   I came late to Indian food.  I was pregnant with daughter number 2 when all of a sudden I announced that the neighbour must have been making a curry, and it smelled DELICIOUS!

Before this I hated curry.  The smell could make me heave.  But suddenly, at six months pregnant with second child, all I wanted was an Indian curry.  Mr. Cobs thought he’d died and gone to heaven!   The very next day he bought everything required for making one, and made it, and I’ve eaten curries Indian food ever since.  Until now.  Now that I’ve reached over the age of  ___  it would seem that my body is now saying NO MORE to Indian food.  Actually … it’s begun saying no more to a fair few different bits of food.  It’s making me quite cross.  How very dare it move me into a boring diet of denial.

Deny me this.  Deny me that.  Deny me everything I might find enjoyable.  It’s even now stopped me from eating ….  CUCUMBER!  Cucumber is basically water with a green skin.  So what’s the problem?  [sigh]

I also learned this week …  yet again .…  that I HATE the hot hot heat of summer.  I live in the south of the country (England) by the sea,  and it get’s quite ‘hot’ here in the summer.  I don’t like the summer much because it causes me to get grumpy and makes some medical ‘issues’ I have so much worse that it’s tiresome and annoying.

Note to other drivers on the road:   Drive NICELY.  Don’t cut me up nor follow so closely behind me that it’s obscene, during the heat of the summer.  Because I become something other than the sweet thing you might think I am to look at me.  Trust me.  Mightier men than you have tried to show me, ‘the little woman’, that their driving is wonderful …  and I’ve left them crying and sucking their thumbs.  DRIVE NICELY in the summer, around where I live,  or else!  You have been warned.

Well … this last week it’s been hot.  Very hot.  Too hot.  VERY MUCH too hot.  We have ceiling fans …  but even those aren’t helping.  They seem to just be moving hot air around.  And now … I’m feeling like a grumpy moo.  I’m hot.  I’m sticky.  And I’m not in a great mood.

Note to self:  When I win the lottery (big time), I’m going to pay someone to fan me.  I shall lay on a bed of hand-made cotton mattresses – 8 deep. (Think Princess and the Pea), wearing nothing but a muslin ‘gown’ (designed by a tent maker), and be fanned by my personal fanner.  Ahhh… just the thought is putting my mood right.  😀

Kind of on the same subject ...  I also learned this week that my Grandsons (Little Cobs) school has been forced to employ a parking attendant for when mummies and daddies collect their darlings from school at the end of the day.  (3pm)

I learned that this parking attendant (a tall man of somewhere between 30 to 40) has let the job title, and the yellow High Vis jacket (much like the motorway police wear) go to his head, and he’s become a bossy so and so.

I watched him, as I was sat roasting at the equivalent to Gas Mark 6, in my car, in the full sun.  He arrived on site and without even leaving his car, he wound down the window and instantly told a woman to move her car out of the reserved parking space. (Which she did.  A rookie mistake)  He then parked his car in that space, got out of his car, put on his yellow High Visibility jacket and then walked over to her where she’d now parked her car on the corner of a bend on the school grounds, and directed her to go and park on the road outside the school.

It was at this point that Mr.Cobs was to hear me say, low and in a rather wishful thinking voice:  “Ohhhh….  I DO hope he comes here and tells me where to park my car”.

Because Little Cobs has a disability (Cerebral Palsy) his mummy and daddy are allowed to park on the school grounds to collect their son.  However, we are sometimes called into action to collect him.  And the problem is that although the school know when we will be coming (instead of Mommy or Daddy), we don’t have the special parking permit which one is supposed to display in order to park on the premises.  So, strictly speaking, he should have noticed that I was parked without a permit.

I was hot.  Roasting in the direct sunshine, and I saw him being a little officious and pumped up at wearing his High Vis. jacket.  I SO wanted him to come to my car and attempt to ‘talk to the little lady’ (me) about parking else where.  I so wanted to explain to him that the only place I would be parking my car other than right where it was,  would require him to bend over.

He went to another car and told the driver off for parking where they were parked.  Yet…. they weren’t in anyone’s way, and they had just loaded a disabled grandchild into the car.  (More grandparents in the same situation as us).  The gentleman behind the wheel obviously told him in a polite way that he wasn’t moving the car because there was another child to collect ….  but he would move the car once said child was collected.

Again…  I voicedGo on…  come and tell me to move my car“.  He didn’t.  Maybe he recognised a woman who was suffering the heat of being baked in a tin box, waiting for a ‘challenging situation’ to happen.  Whatever it was, he gave my car a miss.  Maybe …  next time.  🙂

Well … I’m pretty certain that there are more things which I’ve learned this week, however, my head’s a colander and things drain out of those holes, even when I try to stop them from falling out.

However … we now are in requirement of a few jokes, so without further ado, I give you . . .

THE JOKES

A woman called the airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Sure,”  said customer services, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”   They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

❤  ❤  ❤

Q:  What do Pandas have that no other animal in the world has?

A: click and drag–>  Baby Pandas<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?

A: click and drag–> A stamp.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

Q: How many seconds are there in one year?

A: click and drag-> 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.<—

❤  ❤  ❤

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

❤  ❤  ❤

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

❤  ❤  ❤

and finally . . .

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Thank you so much for coming and sharing a coffee with me.  I so enjoy our Friday get togethers.

I hope for you a fabulous Friday.  May the day be peace filled and enjoyable.  And may your weekend be one which leaves you feeling like you’ve actually done something with your time.  That’s always a great feeling!

Sending love, from me in my corner, to you in yours.  Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.

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Things I’ve learned this Week

Welcome to the Friday Postcard from Cobwebs, where I share with you all the stuff I’ve learned this week.

Life teaches us all some lessons and ‘stuff’ it believes we need to learn or know about.  Some of these things might be painful.  Some of them may give you a heartache.  Some may touch you so deeply that you can almost feel this  ‘thing’  slowly sinking into your soul.  Some things may make you cry.  But then there are some things which will make you smile.  Or laugh.  Or just set up your day with a base of a good mood which carries you through your day.  I’m hoping that this Friday Postcard, from me to you, will be one which starts your day off with at least one smile. Shall we dive in?

What I’ve learned this week  . . .

I’ve learned that when I leave the house, clamber into my car, put my seatbelt on,  start-up the car and put it into reverse in order to get off my drive ….  I’ve learned that around the point I’ve backed out of my drive and driven just a little way down the road,  it’s usually at this point  that I realise that the reason my eyes are so blurry isn’t because I didn’t get enough sleep, but because I’ve forgotten to put my darn glasses on!  [sigh]   Why do I keep doing this?  Why haven’t I actually learned this lesson yet.  You’d think that at my age (of over 21 plus a lot of tax), it would be as natural to put my glasses on as it is to pick up my car keys.

I’ve learned that the world has more information than a brain can surely hold,   but not enough inspiration.

We live in a computerised/technological world.  Everything is run by computers.  With more and more things being computerised, daily.  I watched TV a couple of days ago and saw how a short black cylinder with a blue light halo around the top can now turn on lights or the kettle or the washing machine or .. well just about anything  while you’re not even in the house!  It can make a shopping list for you by you just talking to it and asking it to add (eg) a loaf of bread to the list.  It sits in the corner, or on the table, or … well just about anywhere it seems, and it’s ALWAYS on.  You never turn it off.  It’s just there.  Listening to you and waiting for you to say it’s name – Alexa.

You can ask it virtually anything, and it will give you an answer within seconds.  How far away is the Sun?  It knows.  Is there a particular store in your city?  It knows.  How to spell a word?  It knows.  Watch the little video below, but beware … you might end up thinking you should have one. lol

Then the presenter on the TV showed me how I could get a tiny circular vacuum cleaner to clean my carpets and floors while I was out at work, by setting a timer on it.  Then, before I came home from work, the carpets would all be super clean.  However, if the machine began to run out of charge, it would return itself to the docking station and would re-charge itself, then set off again, back to where it left off, and continue cleaning the floors for you!

Then they turned to a fridge and showed us how a computerised ‘thing’ on the door, would take note of what was inside the fridge, and if someone opened the door and took out (say) the Melon.  Then this computerised gadget would know that it had been taken and would register this on the door.  It even had another little gadget installed in it which, at the press of a button, you could actually see what was in the fridge instead of opening the door.  Oh.. and it even took note of ‘eat by’ due dates, and would flash this information for you when that due date got near so that you could make sure to include that item in your menu.

See … this is all very clever but …  and here’s the thing …  What the divil is wrong with picking up a pen and making a shopping list?  What’s the problem with YOU vacuuming your carpet?  Is turning the kettle on so hard labour that we need a gadget to do it for us?  Why do we need a ‘Hive’ to control our heating at home, when we can cope perfectly well with getting our bottoms out of our chair and change the setting if we need to?

As for not opening the door of the fridge to see what’s inside …  is  ANYONE REALLY THAT LAZY  that they need this screen on the outside of the fridge door so that they can simply look at the fridge for the information???

Like I said … the world has more information than you can shake a stick at, and if you don’t know something, then a few taps on a keypad connected to the internet will get you the information you need to find out what you need to know.  But stop right there for a moment.  Computers are a recent invention.  Most homes didn’t have a home computer until around mid 1980’s.  So if you were born before around 1985-1990, then the question is … what did you do before then if you wanted to know something?   And what if we wanted to remember to buy a joint of meat and some apples from the shops – what on earth did all us numbskulls do then? We must have done something because we all know quite a bit of stuff and none of it was learned from or via a computer!

We now focus so much on the outside ‘stuff’ that there’s a deficit on the inside ‘stuff’.  Where are the things which are going to help with that?  Where is The Balance?  Where is the Inspiration?  What exactly is Inspirational about these gadgets?

Are we actually going to end up like the dystopia scene, (nearing the end) of the movie Wall-E?

I’ve learned this week  (and this surprised me)  that half the human beings who’ve ever lived are reckoned to have been killed by the mosquito.

3,000 people die of malaria every day (malaria caused by a mosquito bite).  That’s 45 billion human beings in our history.  Mosquitoes carry more than a hundred potentially fatal diseases including malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, encephalitis, filariasis and elephantiasis. Even today, they kill one person every twelve seconds.  Which leads me to thinking that if the super intelligent guys who are designing and making the gadgets which I’ve just talked about, instead put their minds to solving this mosquito problem, then perhaps that problem solving thing would REALLY be something to celebrate. (instead of seeing inside the fridge with the door closed. huh!)

I’ve learned that Mr. Cobs idea of putting super duper new over-head lights in the ‘Executive Art Annexe’ to replace the old ones  (craft room to you and me) was one of the best ideas he’s ever had (obviously the best was marrying me. lol).  These new lights are BRILLIANT!  It’s like having natural light in there all the time.  So much better for crafting by and I LOVE THEM!

I’ve learned that who ever’s in charge of turning Autumn into Winter is obviously new to the job this year, and that the previous person must have retired,  because –  on November the 1st,  it didn’t just get cooler, it turned into frost on my windscreen and me into a dithering woman who began the day wearing a v-neck long sleeve top, and had to get a scarf out to cover up that v-neck bit because it was icy cold!  Someone needs to have a word with this obviously new employee whose joy of getting the job has gone to his/her head (I feel it’s a chap to be honest – not sure why) – and ‘he’ is enjoying the power he’s now got.   I wonder if he was a Traffic Warden in a previous existence?

And finally …  I learned some new (to me) jokes … and I just  HAVE  TO  share them with you….

Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet together?  ….  because they’ve only got one tinky winky!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?  . . .   Because 7 8 9

How do you make a band stand?  . . .  Take away their chairs

What’s white and can’t climb trees?  . . .  A fridge!

What do you call an alligator with GPS?  . . .  A navigator.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?  . . .  An investigator.

I’ve just put my friend Richard on speed dial on the phone.  . . .  it’s my Get-Rich-Quick scheme.

Ok I’ll stop.   … you’ve suffered enough.  🙂  lol

Wishing you a truly Fabulous Friday, filled with a balance of innocent fun, smiles, love, care, and friendliness.  May any gremlins which get into your day be shooed off and not hang around long.  Have a wonderful dayBut … remember to stop and make a memory at some point today!

Play safe, be good to each other,  and may your God go with you.

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