Happy Friday! Again, yet another week has passed and I still haven’t found the secret to stopping the clocks so that I remain the child I am at heart. One day I’m going to crack that secret and I’ll share it with you, so you can all stay young along with me. I’m pretty sure the world would be able to handle it. (although mind … there are a small handful of us who the world might just struggle with … lol)
Well … I hope you have your Chuckle Muscle in good shape, for this is the required item you’ll need for this weeks Friday Post.
It’s the Summer, and people are looking to sort out their houses and get rid of things they’re no longer using, by putting an advert in a newspaper in order to sell those things. Or some folks have a business which they are looking to promote and add a few pennies to the holiday fund.
All this is leading me to sharing some of those folks adverts with you. Are you ready with your chuckle muscle? Sure? Ok … let’s go . . .
CLASSIFIED ADS
Actual genuine excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:
ILLITERATE? WRITE TODAY FOR FREE HELP.
AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY. TRY US ONCE, YOU’LL NEVER GO ANYWHERE AGAIN.
OUR EXPERIENCED MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD. FENCED YARD, MEALS, AND SMACKS INCLUDED.
DOG FOR SALE: EATS ANYTHING AND IS FOND OF CHILDREN.
STOCK UP AND SAVE. LIMIT: ONE.
SEMI-ANNUAL AFTER-CHRISTMAS SALE.
3-YEAR-OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL. EXPERIENCE PREFERRED.
MIXING BOWL SET DESIGNED TO PLEASE A COOK WITH ROUND BOTTOM FOR EFFICIENT BEATING.
DINNER SPECIAL — TURKEY $2.35; CHICKEN OR BEEF $2.25; CHILDREN $2.00.
FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR EARS PIERCED AND GET AN EXTRA PAIR TO TAKE HOME, TOO.
WE DO NOT TEAR YOUR CLOTHING WITH MACHINERY. WE DO IT CAREFULLY BY HAND.
HAVE SEVERAL VERY OLD DRESSES FROM GRANDMOTHER IN BEAUTIFUL CONDITION.
TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? LET ME DO IT.
VACATION SPECIAL: HAVE YOUR HOME EXTERMINATED.
MT. KILIMANJARO, THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP FOR THE SERENA LODGE. SWIM IN THE LOVELY POOL WHILE YOU DRINK IT ALL IN.
THE HOTEL HAS BOWLING ALLEYS, TENNIS COURTS, COMFORTABLE BEDS, AND OTHER ATHLETIC FACILITIES.
TOASTER: A GIFT THAT EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY APPRECIATES. AUTOMATICALLY BURNS TOAST.
MAN, HONEST. WILL TAKE ANYTHING.
USED CARS: WHY GO ELSEWHERE TO BE CHEATED? COME HERE FIRST.
CHRISTMAS TAG-SALE. HANDMADE GIFTS FOR THE HARD-TO-FIND PERSON.
WANTED: HAIR CUTTER. EXCELLENT GROWTH POTENTIAL.
WANTED. MAN TO TAKE CARE OF COW THAT DOES NOT SMOKE OR DRINK.
OUR BIKINIS ARE EXCITING. THEY ARE SIMPLY THE TOPS.
WANTED. WIDOWER WITH SCHOOL-AGE CHILDREN REQUIRED TO ASSUME GENERAL HOUSEKEEPING DUTIES. MUST BE CAPABLE OF CONTRIBUTING TO GROWTH OF FAMILY.
WE WILL OIL YOUR SEWING MACHINE AND ADJUST TENSION IN YOUR HOME FOR $1.00.
MAN WANTED TO WORK IN DYNAMITE FACTORY. MUST BE WILLING TO TRAVEL
And just in case you still have a little coffee in your cup and want a tad more entertainment, I share with you… Signs, as found on You Tube:
Well that’s me done and dusted for another ‘Friday Post’.
All that’s left for me to say is … have a truly blessed rest of your day, and I hope your weekend is peace filled and leaves you feeling contented. And, finally, … remember to be a little kinder than you might think necessary. Each one of us is fighting our own battle. I may not see your battle, and you don’t know what mine is, but I’d like people to be kind to me in the same way I’m kind to them. So … be a little kinder to all that you meet and interact with this weekend. Who knows . . . your kindness could just be the thing which enables someone to carry on carrying on.
Sending my love and a bucket full of squidges ~
The Art of Cobwebs 