What I’ve Learned This Week.

Morning all.  Happy Friday!  And …  a Very Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all.  🙂

St. Patrick has a great history, and makes a good read.  So if you’re in the mood for reading, then I supply a link here —>  A history of St. Patrick the patron saint of Ireland.  <— which will open in another window and sit waiting patiently for you, until you’ve finished having a read here.  🙂   The website is owned and written by an Irish lady who’s family history also makes a great read.  So the story (and all the pages on the site) all come direct from Ireland without any twists which shouldn’t be there.

Untitled-2 copy

Anyhoo ….

The world continues my educationalamalisation,  and I’m now wondering if that’s why I keep forgetting things.  Names of people.  Road names.  Appointments.  What I went to the fridge for?  What it was I wanted from the shop, before I’ve even got my shoes on to leave the house!  How to get to places.  (don’t suggest  SatNavs, because I can’t use the darn thing.  ‘She’ really politely tells me what to do next, and I can’t remember what it was she just said!   Useless.  I’m totally useless.  Of no use to man nor beast.

But I’ve come up with a theory that the reason I’m forgetting things is because I’m learning allll the time, and all the new stuff is pushing some of the other stuff over the edges of my brain!  Where they’re going from that point is anyones guess,  I do have a theory at that too … but I’m not about to discuss it in polite company.  😉

What were we talking about again?  Ohh yes! … educationalamalisation …  I shall continue:

I learned this week ….

That Trees sleep at night.  (cor!  I heard you gasp from here!).  Well, when you think about it,  wouldn’t you need a bit of a snooze after a long a long day of photosynthesizing?

Here, straight from the horse’s mouth (or scientists mouth in this case) is the explanation ….

It depends on how you define “sleep,” but trees do relax their branches at night, which might be a sign of snoozing,  the scientists said.

In the only reported study to look at tree ‘siestas’:  researchers set up lasers that measured the movements of two silver birch trees at night.  One tree was in Finland and the other in Austria, and both were monitored from dusk until morning on a dry, windless night in September.  This was close to the solar equinox, when daylight and nighttime are about equal.

The laser scanners used infrared light to illuminate different parts of the tree,  each for fractions of a second. This provided enough detail to map each tree within minutes, the researchers said.

The silver birches’ branches and leaves sagged at night; they reached their lowest position a few hours before sunrise, and then perked up again during the wee hours of the morning, the researchers found.

“Our results show that the whole tree droops during night, which can be seen as position change in leaves and branches,” study lead author Eetu Puttonen, a researcher at the Finnish Geospatial Research Institute, said in a statement. “The changes are not too large, only up to 10 centimeters [4 inches] for trees with a height of about 5 meters [16 feet].”

It’s unclear if the sun “woke up” the trees or if they relied on their own internal circadian rhythm, the researchers said. But “the fact that some branches started returning to their daytime position already before sunrise would suggest this [internal circadian clock] hypothesis [is right],”.

The finding isn’t too surprising.  Most living organisms have day and night circadian rhythms, and any gardener will notice that some plants open their flowers in the morning and that some trees close their leaves at night.  The famed botanist Carl Linnaeus (1707-1778) found that flowers confined to a dark cellar still opened and closed, and naturalist Charles Darwin (1809-1882) noted that the nocturnal movement of leaves and stalks on plants looked like the plants went to sleep.

So … what else did I learn this week?

Well … from watching a TV programme on TV, I learned this mind-blowing (no not really.   Not in the least bit mind-blowing, but it is a bit of fun)  information which should change the world (no it seriously won’t) …  I learned:  That ‘Google’ reports that searches for  ‘How to put on a condom’  peak at 10.28pm.  Saying nothing.  Nope.  Not going to get into that one.  I’m only here to report on my ‘learnings’.  🙂

I also learned:  There is no word for  time  in any Aboriginal language.  Maybe I should move there?  Time wouldn’t exist, and therefore I wouldn’t get any older!  Sounds fine to me … oh …. hang on ….  if I don’t get any older then I’ll miss out on Birthdays and birthday presents ….  hmmm  …  as Fagin said:  I think I’d better think it out again!

I learned that  ‘Emoji’ –  these things:  🙂  😦  :/  😀  –  is the fastest growing language in historySee,  … now  this made me think that we’re all going backwards.    Cavemen and women used a similar sort of thing by drawing on cave walls in order to tell the story of their day.  “I saw a cow.  I threw a stick at the cow.” – only they drew pictures to tell that story.   …  maybe that’s where we’re heading?

And I also learned that apparently….  The name Donald means  ‘ruler of the world’.  His mother,  Mrs. Duck, must be SO proud.  (Mr. Disney will be chuffed to know that too!).

Finally ….  I learned that …  (and this made me feel a little bit sad, and think of Wall-E ...the last robot left on Earth . . .) …  On each anniversary of its landing on Mars, the Curiosity Rover hums  ‘Happy Birthday’  to itself.  😦  (imagine an ‘Emoji’ here of a crying face)

Crafters of the World – we need to unite and craft poor little Curiosity some birthday cards.  (We’ve got plenty of time, his birthday isn’t until August the 5th)

Shall we now move on to the part you’re waiting for?  Do you have your coffee ready?  Biscuits and cookies?  Ok … let’s go!

These are the JOKES folks!

I just ate a frozen apple.  . . .  Hardcore.

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.   …  I thought it was a nice jester.

I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. . . . When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  . . .  Then it dawned on me.

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. . . .  She seemed surprised.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory.  . . .  I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

So I applied for a job making sandwiches, . . . but the  roll  had been filled.

Then I got a job working in an origami shop, . . .  but it folded.

What do you get hanging off banana trees?  . . .  Sore arms.

and finally . . .

I’ve just been diagnosed as colour blind. . . . It came right out of the purple!

~  ❤  ~

So do you feel more intelligent?  Has reading all this new stuff, pushed some of your old stuff out of your brain,  and now it’s free-falling at rapid speed,  throughout your body, bouncing off your liver, kidneys and all those other squishy things inside you?  If so … then thank heavens for that!  At least I know I’m not alone  in this weirdness.  (lol)

Have a truly fabulous Friday, and perfect St. Patrick’s Day.  May your weekend bring love, smiles, joy, and a clear conscience.

Be good to each other, and …  may your God go with you.



Author: The Art of Cobwebs - aka:- thecobweboriumemporium

Hello. I'm 'Cobwebs'. I live in a wee little cottage in the South of England, aptly called Cobweb Cottage. This little dwelling really is a cobweb factory. Not inside (well, occasionally) - but outside - flipping heck! This information should give you a clue as to why my blog is called The Art of Cobwebs aka: The Cobweborium Emporium. I've been arty and crafty from a very young age, and although my crafts have sometimes turned a corner and taken me in another direction, I've always crafted in some way, shape or form. One day, in the blink of an eye, life changed somewhat for me and the consequences were many. I had to find a new way of being 'artistic'. Card making; scrap-booking; producing ATC's and ACEO's; needle felting; Polymer clay; painting- but in a more relaxed style than I had before, and sewing, - are all things which I visit, as and when life allows. I've fairy recently become a Textile Artist and am enjoying this new creative outlet very much as it offers me so much scope for letting my imagination run through a grassy field and feel the wind in my hair - (mentally, of course). I love to create. To make things. I truthfully believe that the best gifts in the world are those in which you've given your time, rather than your cash. Thank you so much for visiting. Please visit my blog (link below) and have a look around. I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy, even if it's only a handful of jokes! (yes, seriously - there really are jokes!) Wishing you a truly blessed rest of your day! ~ Cobs. <3

61 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned This Week.”

  1. Ha ha, nothing better to kill a mood than ‘hang on darling, I’ll just check Google’ 😄 and poor Curiosity Rover – that is so sad. It has to be said that I do love an emoji. It’s just so much faster than writing everything out in full sometimes. My mobile suggests lots of symbols instead of using actual words so if hubby is going shopping I can send a list via text pretty much with pictures instead of words. I do it largely to amuse him as his phone doesn’t do it, 🍎, 🐟, 🍞, 🚽roll, 🐱food etc. 😄😄😄😄😄 Hxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laughing here.
      Emoji…. are the bane of my life. Daughter No. 2 will send tex messages over WhatsAp, with these little pictures, and most of the time I have to get Mr.Cobs to work out if they mean something or if they’re there just to be pretty. LOL

      I tried to send her an Emoji message a few days ago and oh my goodness, it took me ages to scroll through all the darn pictures to find just the right one for each ‘word’.
      I’m too much a lover of the real words I think.

      I LOVE all the Emoji’s you ‘wrote’ in that message!!! I don’t know the codes for many of them on WordPress, so I’m impressed MAJOR time. WTG Hannah, you clever thing you. I’m in awe!

      The Google checking … oh that tickled the heck out of me when I heard that, and I just HAD to share it. I cannot imagine that someone would be checking that at that time of night. Surely … they would have looked earlier in the evening so that they were ready. The picture it conjured up in my head was absolutely hilarious! In fact SO hilarious that it felt cruel to be having that sort of a laugh. LOL.

      ❤ from me to U 🙂 (see… that's about as good as it gets LOL) ~ C. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not so clever I’m afraid – I type the full word and my phone gives me the picture to use! If I’m on my laptop I am reduced to simple smiley faces 🙂

        I suppose we should be grateful that people do take the time to google at that time of night but you would have thought that if you were really unsure that a little forward planning in anticipation would be good 😀 Hxx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m totally in agreement and that’s exactly what I thought too.
          I mean … what a passion killer these words would be:
          “hang on sweetheart, I need to turn on my computer to google how to do this!”

          ~ Cobs. xxx

          Liked by 1 person

                    1. Ah, that’s what lack of sleep does to you. It makes you like everyone, because your brain knows that this is the easy way to deal with life when it’s working on low power. You’re in Airplane Mode.
                      ahhh, love you, Mrs. H ~ Cobs. x

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. I am totally in airplane ✈ mode (yup, just for you I’m going to add all the pictures!) but you are lovely person Cobs and I don’t need to meet you to know that. Believe me when I’m tired 😴 I’m far more likely to feel totally irritated with everyone and everything 😄😄😄 Hxx

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Y’know what we tired people need? A box of luxury chocolates and a teeny drink of something just a little bit naughty … not so naughty that it gives us another problem … but something which is either naughty in a calorific way or even in a small time alcholic way. Anything … so long as it makes us feel like we’re being naughty.

                      Then we’ll have a laugh – maybe playing that game where you have a post it note stuck to your forehead with the name of someone famous written on it and you have to guess who it is. Nothing strenuous – so no Twister for that would finish me off right now – just something simple, basically so that it matches our Airplane Mode brain setting.

                      I think this would put the world in order today. Let’s try to fit this in at some point in our day, shall we?
                      🙂 😀 ❤ ~ C. xxx

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy St Patrick’s Day, Cobs! Like you I forget what I went to the shop for, then buy loads of other stuff… then get home and suddenly remember what it was that I wanted. Luckily on my second trip to the shop I don’t forget so it’s all good – although having no word for time would be really useful in these circumstances. The thing is I do this so many times – nope, can’t do it… needed to use the word time again there…
    Have a good day, Cobs. Fun jokes as usual! 👍👋👏☘🌞😆

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello fabulous Tom! 🙂
      Laughing like a drain here. I’m glad I’m not alone on that trip where you buy other stuff, then get home and remember that one thing you actually needed, after you’ve bought a load of stuff you didn’t really ‘need’.

      The problem I find in that is that I buy stuff I already have in the cupboard. [sigh]. Daughter No.2 calls this situation “I see you’ve had another Mars Bar moment Mom!”
      (Goes back to her school days when she asked me to get her A Mars bar, so I bought a pack of 5. Then forgot that I’d bought them, so bought another pack of 5.

      Following week, went shopping but didn’t check if she’d eaten the Mars, of if we needed some more, so I bought another pack of 5. Did the same thing the following week.

      She infact only wanted A Mars. One. She’d only eaten that one bar over the period of my absent buying, and there, in the cupboard was enough to feed the whole road! [sigh] I ended up giving them away – but it was a good dietry aid because I’m a bit funny about them now, and all because of that ‘absent minded buying’ session. lol

      Time to admit … ah .. see what you mean about Time. lol.

      I’m SO jealous of you knowing all the codes for all of those emoji’s!! I can only do a small selection, and they’re pretty much everyday ones, so I wish I could do some of the impressive ones.

      GREAT to see you Tom.
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hehehe! You make me sound so clever, Cobs, but I must confess. I commented using my mobile phone which has a whole array of the emojis (emojies? 🤔) on the keyboard, so I merely selected a selection of them!😎
        You’ve given me an idea though to search for the codes and maybe do a handy little blog post – my inspiration has all but dried up at present. I probably won’t remember the codes, however… and I’ll also probably forget about the post… but hey ho! We’ll see!👀

        Liked by 1 person


          Pleeeeeeeeease do one. I would love it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
          Would grovelling at your feet help I wonder?

          Emoji’s … The Tom Way. (or for me: The Idiots Way). lol

          Your inspiration has dried up? Ooooh well, we need to do something about that! Maybe a trip to the beach would invigorate … or perhaps an evening out – cinema, dinner, drinks .. friends.
          Or even a walk in the great outdoors. Take your camera with you. You never know what you might find to share.

          In the meantime, while you wait for it to come back .. a post on Emoji’s would be delightful! 🙂 🙂 ❤
          Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Well, Cobs, I tried. I failed.
            I found the code. Tried to use it. It didn’t work. There’s no point writing a post full of code that doesn’t work, so it’s back to the drawing board, I feel. Oh, and please, no grovelling… bribery in chocolate perhaps, but no grovelling.
            There has to be a way to get them to work. Hmmm… 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I reckon that there must be a post SOMEWHERE on WordPress, on their own ‘blog’ where they’ve posted the information. There has to be. It’s not something they’d keep to themselves.

              I bet there are even some hidden ‘eggs’ … but we’d have to have the codes before we could attempt those.

              I know I’ve found the moderators on WordPress really helpful on the couple of occasions I’ve asked for help, so maybe we should ask?

              What do you reckon? Or shall we just pretend the conversation never happened and swiftly run away to fly our kites while the wind is blowing? 🙂
              Squidges ~ Cobs. x


  3. Oh my word! You are full of facts. I have a feeling your theory is true about new information pushing old stuff out too. As for the jokes, those week they are all corkers! Have a lovely day, I’m going to work with a smile on my face! x x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Mrs.C 🙂
      Wow … I’m so glad that you think the same way. All that information is being pushed out of the brain because my tiny brain can only hold so much information. I’m guessing about a Thimble full. LOL.

      Go to work with a smile … it knocks ‘Go to work on an Egg’ right off the board. LOL (not even sure if you’re old enough to remember that one! eeek). lol
      ❤ 🙂 ~ Cobs. x


  4. Good morning! I look forward to your Friday posts 🙂
    “Donald”? Ruler of the world?? LOL, very appropriate, considering the U.S.President’s first name…ha ha!
    I love the idea that trees sleep…when I was a little girl I always used to get upset because I was sure it hurt flowers to pick them, and now apparently, scientists say that flowers do give off a distress signal when they feel threatened..I’m always nice to my plants as I’m sure there was a film with Matt Damon in where the plants had a rebellion…I need a new phone as the only emoji I can manage is a colon with a right facing bracket..and best joke? Got to be “hardcore” LOL !!
    Have a good day, lots of love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. G.A.S.P. You thought that about flowers too??!!! Aw, we must be sisters! Even now I still feel like that.

      Thrilled you got a smile from the ‘Hardcore’… tickles me too, that one. 🙂
      As for Emoji … I’d rather have the written word, as anything else takes me forever to work out. lol
      Have a happy St. Patricks Day!
      ❤ ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

          1. My mother bought some heritage potatoes once, that were supposed to be purple, but when she went to mash them, they were a peculiar blue…like they’d been boiled with biro!! 🙂 x

            Liked by 1 person

  5. I love your theory about memory-and think there is truth in it. I am glad that trees sleep at night, and it doesn’t surprise me. Happy birthdays to robots everywhere and Happy St, Patricks’ Day to you! lovely post as always!


  6. Yay! There is a theory! It’s Cobs. Theory 🙂 I do so love learning too! So very much to love in this post! (as always) …Happy St. Patrick’s Day Lovely Cobs. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and laughter @};- (rose) and %%- (good luck) lets see if these come through! xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw I can be like that too Anne. I begin the joke, and then the whole thing disappears like a butterfly flying off with the end to the joke, up, up, up into the sky. LOL
      Hope your day is a great one.
      Sending squidges ~ Cobs. x


  7. Oh, I feel kind of sad for Curiosity. ‘Happy Birthday’ is definitely a song for a crowd, not a solo! I am yet to learn emojis. I can only do one (smiley face). I worry I might say the wrong thing. Great jokes again. Have a lovely weekend m’dear!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And you m’ducks.
      I too am sad for Curiosity Rover (inside my head I’ve christened the little lad CurryOver – lol)… he really did make me think of Wall-E and made me wonder if CurryOver had perhaps made a little friend in a bug.

      I think we should all make him a card and I’d find out where we could send these cards to, so that CurryOver received some surprise post from all over the world. Perhaps then, the Happy Birthday song which he hums to himself on his Birthday, won’t be a lonely, sad song, but a happy, sparkly one. 😀

      Sending oodles of squidges and hoping that your weekend is absolutely brilligog! (another Cobs made up word, which I’ve infected little Cobs and my Son-in-law with and they use it alllll over the place LOL) C xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I would so love to see or read about NASA being bombarded with cards for him! One of those things that just take off, like people citing Jedi as their religion on census forms… Do it, Cobs!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh My Word Cobs! I have learned so much! Laughed like all harry about so many things! (I did have to hold my stomach….surgery you know :). ) Loved the eyebrows joke….I actually do have a friend who draws her eyebrows on every morning and she always does look surprised.
    Loved the condom knowledge and I am with you on just leaving that one along…….
    I am definitely going to have to pass on your emoji theory to my kids. I think you are really onto something with that one!
    Keep up the good work on educationliaizing us. This is some of the best knowledge I have acquired in a long time. I now learn most of my best stuff from you :).
    Happy St. Patty’s Day to you my friend and lots of love your way!


    1. [giggling to self] … yes, the condom thing … when I learned that this week I instantly ‘ear marked’ it to include it in the blog … but I knew I’d be leaving it right at the full stop, ’cause I’m not qualified to go any further. lol

      The Emoji theory … do you know … I was really surprised that my brain actually worked that one out. LOL. ME. MY BRAIN…. errr… actually … brain??? There’s something wrong there but I’ll have to work out what it is. lol

      LOVE that you have a friend who does the eyebrow thing. Awww bless her beautiful heart. I’ve seen them on TV or in the newspapers … but not yet seen them in real life.
      (Although I do have to feather a few strokes into my eyebrows because I have a tiny bald spot in one eyebrow – a left over from when I had chickenpox. I have a little C.pox scar right at the high curve of my one brow. pffft. But a bit of brown eye pencil, works wonders, so long as I use feathery strokes.)

      So lovely to see you here Chicken. Know that I pray for you and think of you many times a day – each time I do, I send a wee prayer, heaven bound, asking for healing care and love to surround you.
      God Bless my beautiful friend. ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thank you so much! My friend pencils her brows in because she said she “plucked the living daylights out of them” when she was in high school and they finally quit growing back!
        Let that be a lesson to us…….sometimes let stuff along lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I always said we’ve come so far forward we can only go backwards, so the emojis made me right (Puffs out chest). I also completely sympathise with the memory thing, I even had my doctor in stitches when I said to him I truly think I have early onset of Senile Dementia! It comes to something when your rowing, no having a heated discussion with your other half and you can’t remember their name ( Means I have to make up one instead and for some reason he never likes what I come up with)! Hug x


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