Things I’ve learned this Week.

Hello ….  I’m baa-aaaack!

My apologies for being M.I.A (missing in action) – my body is still being bombarded by bugs, but I’m trying to fight ’em.  My bed is winning at the moment.  I seem to get up in the morning;  have a shower, and before you know it, I’m back in bed again.

Off to see my GP in a couple of days, and he if doesn’t have a magic wand to wave and put things right, – then I’m making plans for a ticket to platform 9 and three-quarters to be purchased, and I’ll be off to Hogwarts to see if they can mix up an elixir which might sort me out once and for all!

Anyhooo .…  let’s dip into the world of lessons, as learned by one Cobwebs of The Cobweborium Emporium and find out what life has taught me this week….

I’ve learned (not for the first time) that if I stay away from my craft room for too long, then my mojo wanders off and it’s really not easy to get the little divil back again and in working order.  This is such a great BIG GRRRRRR!  to me.

I’ve learned that I’d got SO into making Christmas cards and thinking ‘Christmas’, that it’s been an absolute pain in the rear end to try and get myself out of that Christmas frame of mind.

And while on the subject of Christmas ….  With the help of Mr. Cobs, I’ve packed away all the Christmassy Craft things into my special Christmas Box (a red box labelled  “Christmas”), and have learned this week that I won’t need to buy even so much as a rubber stamp or even an extra die … or indeed any Christmas papers …  for at least two or three years, because I have SO much stuff that I haven’t used, and yet I keep adding to the pile!   tut tut.

I’ve also learned …  that because of being pretty much confined to the house, I’ve discovered the attraction of dipping into the sales on-line at this time of year and have …  (this one will surprise you) … done some shopping for Christmas gifts for NEXT CHRISTMAS!  Me!  Yes!!!  My mother wouldn’t have believed me if I’d have told her that.

There are (or have been) some really fabulous bargains to be found on the interwebby thing.  Particularly some really beautiful pieces of jewellery.  Although … the downside of this shopping is that I’ve found rather a lot of things which I want myself.  [sigh].  I admit to buying myself a (late) Christmas present of an Electric Blue Swiss Topaz ring and also a pair of silver earrings – both of which I bought for a bargain price and both of which have become my favourites in the jewellery box.  – However …  they haven’t had chance to make it to the jewellery box.  They’re both living on a little ring saucer on my dressing table, and I keep putting them on, and wearing them for a few minutes, just so that I can look at them and love them for a while.  Just to make my heart smile.

I’ve also learned …  that, in this country (Great Britain – land of my heart and home) – the TV programme schedulers (planners) obviously go totally brain-dead once they’ve planned the Television programmes for the Christmas week, because the offerings they’ve given us here in the UK as choices to watch on TV are TOTAL RUBBISH!

Seriously … I could have done better given three hours, some coffee and a laptop!

So here’s the plan:  British people reading this blog …  I think we should get our brain cells working and make a list of the things we’d like to be watching in the TV programmes schedule for after Christmas this year.  Each of us can then email that list to the good old BBC,  ITV  and Channels 4 & 5.  If we all do this, then maybe they might get the hint that they’re not doing their job properly, should buck up their ideas, and maybe follow our suggestions and play the programmes we suggest.

Now I don’t ‘do’ Facebook, but I know some of you do, so please feel free to quote this idea to your friends and let’s get this thing going.  We’ll beat ’em into submission!  We have to pay a licence fee (we have no option), so let’s make them work for what they charge us.

I also learned some really great stuff this week.  Give your mind a work out with these:

Giraffes have the same number of teeth as humans.

Leonardo Da Vinci was a vegetarian and was known to buy caged birds simply to let them free.  He was also questioning man’s superiority over animals and his right to raise them for slaughter – this attitude was unheard of in his time.

Your lips don’t touch when you say the word ‘touch’ but they do touch when you say the word ‘separate’.

When you cut a hole in your fishing net, it has fewer holes.  (Think about that one for a moment)

Japan now has a new class of citizens – the cyber homeless. They live in cyber cafes because it is cheaper than an apartment. The cafes oblige with free showers and even sell underwear.  (This one really surprised me, until I thought about it for a moment, and then I realised that actually … nothing that happens in Japan which fulfills one of their needs or requirements, surprises me any more.  They seem to have a simple solution of solving any problem).

AND FINALLY . . . . .

 . . .  the bit I know you’ve been waiting for.  The Jokes!

Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”

A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

 ❤

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?

A: It went back four seconds

❤

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits!

❤

Q: What do you call a fat psychic?

A: A four chin teller.

❤

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

❤

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A: a thesaurus.

❤

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

A: “Where’s Popcorn?”

❤

Q: What do you call sad coffee?”

A: Despresso.

❤

Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?

A: Nobody nose.

❤

Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?

A: A penny.

❤

Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A: A Bed

❤

and finally . . .

Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A:  a USB

❤

I hope your chuckle muscles got a workout.

Let’s get this Friday the 13th off to a great start shall we?  Remember …  there’s nothing especially unlucky about it being Friday the 13th and the only scary thing about it is attempting to say this: paraskavedekatriaphobia,  – which is the name given for people who fear Friday the 13th.  Bad things, carelessness, something breaking, car accidents, falling over, breaking your toe, losing your phone … these and many more things, can, and do,  happen on any given day.  So please don’t worry over it.  But … if it makes you feel better to spend the day in bed and not go out of the house, then do whatever makes you happy.

Have a really great day.  Share your smile with someone.  You never know … your smile could be the very thing that changes someone’s day around and makes it a good one.

Sending you oodles of love and squidges ~

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