Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm – 2

We first met Anne and Malcolm a few weeks ago (if you missed the first post you can find it HERE), and now they’re back again for another visit, to share with us all their unique observations on Life living with a Crafter via the use of photographs.

For those who haven’t ‘met’  Anne and Malcolm,  then  . . .  Crafters, Ladies and Gentlemen … May I introduce you to Malcolm and Anne. A glimpse into the exciting world of Crafters and their spouses.   

(Anne and Malcolm exist solely inside my imagination and for the purpose of…) . . . .

THE  COBWEB  CATALOGUE

of a Living  (in my imaginationCrafter & Spouse

voodoo-dolly-1

Malcolm loved that Anne was so happy in the craft room he’d ‘built’ for her, but one thing didn’t go down well with him at all.  The Voodoo Dolly strapped to the big star.  He wished with all his heart that she’d part company with that, because it gave him the heebie-jeebies and he didn’t like to go into the craftroom to get any of his cooking spices which Anne insisted should be in her craft room.  It made him wonder exactly what sort of ‘craft’ Anne was practising!

~~~~~~~

the-sewing-room-2

Anne had dropped (very) heavy hints to Malcolm, and even left brochures around the house  in the hope he’d get the idea about what she dearly wanted as a Birthday gift this year.  But on her Birthday, all he’d bought her was a wall mounted thingy-ma-jiggy-me-bob on which to store all her cotton reels,  and he still hadn’t noticed the lack of a sewing machine in her Sewing Room!

~~~~~~~

naughty-basket-and-glass-jar-jails-3

Anne was far happier now that she’d finally got
a ‘Naughty Basket’ for the fabrics which were
misbehaving,  and two Glass Jail Jars for those really
BAD fabrics who were the real trouble makers in
the bunch!  She was determined to teach them
a lesson!

~~~~~~

hastily-packed-suitcases-4

Back from their shopping trip, Malcolm took Anne’s new blue basket, filled with all the ribbons she’d bought that morning, down to her basement craft room.  That’s when he noticed the hastily packed suitcases under her fabric cutting desk.   The neighbours could hear that trouble was brewing in  ‘Chez Malcanne’,   as Malcolm climbed the stairs from the basement, two at a time, shouting:  “Anne!  ANNE!!”    with a rather cross tone to his voice.

~~~~~~~~

clean-up-5

While Anne was away visiting her mother for a couple of days, Malcolm had planned to clean up her crafting room as a surprise for her upon her return.  He thought she’d love how clean and tidy it was now, and also thought she’d adore all the storage boxes with all their little drawers which he’d sorted her things into, and then spent four hours writing little sticky labels out for each drawer.  Sadly, we crafters among us know exactly what was going to happen the minute she stepped inside that door.  She would look around that room with horror mounting and registering on her face.  It was going to take her years to find all her lovely things – which despite what he might have thought,   were all in their correct places (for her) and she prided herself on knowing that she could put her hand on ANYTHING she required because she’d known exactly where it all was!  But not any longer!    Malcolm was going to be TOAST!

~~~~~~~~~

not-so-much-a-craft-room-as-a-breeding-programme-6

One corner of Anne’s Stitch, Knit and Sew Crafting Room was dedicated to what Anne affectionately called her ‘woolly life‘.  However,  Malcolm suspected that this corner had nothing to do with crafting, and instead believed it was a secret Breeding Programme.  The mound seemed to increase weekly, and yet Anne always laughed and denied it when he suggested to her that she’d been out buying more wool again.

~~~~~~~~

Well,  we’ve turned over few more pages of the ‘COBWEB CATALOGUE of life with a Crafter  & Spouse’,  for a bit of Wednesday afternoon fun.  I hope they’ve raised a few smiles, a smattering of gentle laughs,  or even modicum of cheer.

Have a truly blessed rest of your day.

sig-coffee-copy

The photos chosen for this post are randomly chosen and found on the internet, so publicly available.   I sadly don’t know who the photos belong to, so if you are the owner of any of them, please drop me a comment detailing which photo is yours, and giving me a link to the original posting of it, and  I’ll be thrilled to credit you to the photo.

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50 thoughts on “Craft Living with Anne and Malcolm – 2

  1. I do so love your Anne and Malcolm posts they remind me a crafting Janet & John ladybird type book …gawd tell me you remember Janet & John if not you will find me in my own Anne styled universe LOL

    Liked by 2 people

        • I’ve put my order in: I want it to snow at 4pm ish, on Christmas Eve. It can snow soft, beautiful snow flakes all night. Then snow a little bit more on Christmas day – so that little ones can taste snowflakes. Then… on Boxing Day, I want it to begin melting. And by the time I wake up on the day following Boxing Day, I want all the snow to be gone, and the land look lovely and tidy again. I don’t want any of that dirty snow which normally piles up at the side of the road.

          So … what’s your snow order going to be Hannah?

          Liked by 2 people

          • Ooh, I think snow on Christmas Eve would be magical for the kids (and cat – he was a house cat before we got him in February. He was outside before I could stop him) and it needs to stay crisp and white for Christmas day and boxing day. Starting to thaw a little the day after boxing day so hubby can safely drive to work. A light sprinkle during the kids holiday would be lovely but cleared before I start back on my morning walk/dragging the kids to school 😄 Not too much to ask is it? Hxx

            Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh this made me laugh! Reminds me of Howard and Hilda, I think they were called, from Ever Decreasing Circles? Also, I was trying to spot the points of interest ahead of reading your commentary. I am looking on a small screen, but do I see a pelvis on a shelf in photo 4?!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • LOLOLOL…. Y’know … even though I’m writing these little vignettes to accompany the photographs, like you, I still look for what I think others will look for before they read the ‘story’ for that picture.

      And yes … I spotted the pelvis – I think a display model for underpants for guys – and I did try to work that one to my advantage, but sadly everything I came up with began a gentle tip toe into smut, so I had to leave it on the shelf.

      There are times though, when I could make up a whole chapter from one photo. There are so SO many things which tickle that little part of me and my mind instantly goes into story mode and things come flying out of my brain like a scene from Star Trek, when the ship runs into a meteorite shower! LOL

      Glad you were tickled by them. It cheers up a dull, midweek day. ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

    • Who? Malcolm?
      If so … both Anne and Malcolm are fictitious characters, sprung from the mind of crafter, come writer, come stand up comedian, come crazy mother, come funny grammy, come thoroughly decent human being.
      (What you see here is what’s left of a once intelligent woman after what my children turned me into once they reached their teenage years! lol)

      “Unauthorised removals of crazy items”??? How very dare they! Cheeky monkeys. lol

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Like looking a other craft spaces. Some are way out there and then there are the “What?.Voodoo doll man? Surely not. My son went on a youth mission trip to Haiti years ago and they listened to voodoo drums every night in the distance. Spooky.
    Snow? yes I”l order some too. There is a story here that goes along with the Chick-a-dee story but I’ll save that for a real post. Stay tuned.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So so glad to see Anne and Malcolm are back. Looking at the photos and trying for some inspiration for setting mine up. I now have my second hand cupboards and need to clean, paint and put them in the room . When I get it set up (some time in the future) I will get photos to you for perusal by Anne and Malcolm….I value their opinion.
    I started laughing at the stack of yarn before I even read about it.
    I was wondering about the saw to the left of the window in photo 5……….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes ….’Malcolm’ had wondered about that too. Apparently Anne doesn’t need a saw for anything, but she said she MIGHT need it one day, so she’s kept it in arms reach.

      Personally … I wondered about the man stood in the window, on one leg. Why was he there? Who Was he?
      I also thought that it was very thoughtful of Malcolm, to put those stars and round lights, hanging over her desk from a fixed up tree branch. A crafter needs pretty things. 🙂
      ~ Cobs xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • I wondered about the man doing a flamingo impersonation as well. Do you think the saw had something to do with the pelvis in the other photo? Took him off at the legs and waist? One never knows these days…….
        Yes a crafter needs pretty things- that is why we craft.

        Liked by 2 people

        • I reckon that man in the window has designs on being a ballerina. He just doesn’t have a tutu. I could solve that problem for him … and would have done by now. lol.

          That pelvis … I’d christian it Elvis and add a ton of bling and glitter, then hang it from the ceiling, like a glitter ball in a ballroom. Aww see … that really would work for Christmas.
          🙂
          Although you might have a more sensible use for it. Do tell!
          love and squidges ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

          • I love the ballerina thought for the window man.
            The pelvis…..I like your glitter ball idea. I don’t think I should have it around here. Having three sons I think the conversation would get out of hand and head south if they saw it standing hanging or laying anywhere around here. I will not even try to imagine the conversation…..well….maybe I did for just a bit and I must admit I snickered. Then I figured I should just turn back and not journey down that particular road.
            a sensible idea???? I am at a loss. A blingy speedo? No Faye No!!! turn back…..

            Liked by 1 person

            • LOL!!! Ah, Chicken by name and Chicken …. [thinks to self: “now how does that saying go again?]
              LOL.

              By the time we’d finished embellishing it, it wouldn’t look anything like a pelvis. No one would ever know ….. except you and I [manic laughter heard disappearing down the hallway, as she trails gold glitter and sparkly things behind her like a snail trail]

              LOL.
              Love you Chicken. xxx

              Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: New Years Resolutions – The Chicken Grandma

  6. Dear Cobs:
    I am writing to provide further speculative commentary on what cannot be seen just outside of the photo frame.
    Exhibit 1 – A dark cloud of swirling dust is forming just behind Malcolm’s shoulder. He had inadvertently stepped across an elaborate filigree design protective spell form at the threshold of the doorway. In his eagerness to uncover any mystical mysteries that Anne was conjuring in the “Craft Room” he has hastened his own fate. Too late to react, Malcolm soon found himself miniaturized and sitting on the shelf next to the voodoo doll that he suddenly recognized was the nosy neighbor that had been reported as a missing person just a few days prior.
    Exhibit 2 – Had Anne turned slightly to the left and looked out of the window she would have seen Malcolm in the throes of battle with the neighbors naughty goat which had eaten half of the shiny Singer Sewing machine that the post had delivered just that day. Malcolm ended up recovering half of the chewed on machine but his attempts to repair it were hindered by the amount of goat drool that was gumming up the gears.
    Exhibit 3 – To the right of this fabric penitentiary is a closet that rumor has it the sounds of tearing cloth and silken screams can be heard on very dark nights when there is no moon or salvation for the convicted cottons that have been waiting their turn on death row.
    Exhibit 4 – As Malcolm hastily dashes up the stairs to confront Anne he finds her in labor on the kitchen floor! What he did not see was the hand crocheted layette that was poking out of the suitcase. Malcolm scratched his head, he thought that Anne had been snacking on bonbons and petit fours too often of late and it did not occur to him that she was pregnant! Anne shrieks at him insisting they had several conversations over the past 9 months but he never listens to her! Anne and Malcolm welcomed a bouncing baby boy right there in the kitchen that they fondly named Liam which was short for Linoleum.
    Exhibit 5 – Anne nearly went mad when she saw that her carefully contrived chaos had been disturbed. As Malcolm was proudly taking snapshots of his cleverness to submit to “Organized Living Monthly” magazine, Anne clutched the sticky label maker menacingly in her hands. Upon exiting the room to quickly upload his photos to the online magazine Malcolm stepped into the trap that Anne had constructed out of cardboard. Anne taped up the box with lightening speed and stuck the label “Meddlesome Husband” in the center of the flap.
    Exhibit 6 – Just outside of the window behind the pile of ‘wool’ was a very large spider sitting at a spinning wheel. Apparently what Malcolm thought was wool was in fact magical spider silk thread!

    Have a wonderful glorious day dear Cobs! I will wait patiently for the next installment of “Fun with Anne & Malcolm”
    ~ Tami

    Liked by 1 person

      • Oh my! Now there’s a thought. I would likely be one of those eccentric author’s that requires some bizarre items and such so that I could commune with my imaginary muse. All the while mumbling things that sound like nonsense until they are recorded and played, not backwards, but sideways on a machine that has not been invented yet – here’s the twist – those sideways mumblings are in fact very detailed instructions for how to build a machine that plays recordings frontwards, backwards AND sidewards!! No, I’m sorry Cobbs, I think you are mistaken, I really don’t have that much of an imagination at all. I’m a rather dull and plain middle-aged woman with a little crochet blog! …or am I??? (insert dramatic mystery music here) 😀

        Like

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