Things I Learned This Week.

I’ve learned that I love my postman and that I appreciate him and the job he does even more than I ever realised I did.

Postman Pat and Jess the cat, picture courtesy of the BBC

When we first moved into this property we originally inherited a postman who … erm … how can I say this...  …   who really ‘wasn’t up to scratch’.

The chap spent the whole of his post round talking to his friends or partner on his mobile phone.  You would have thought that phone was super-glued to his face and would have to be surgically removed.  I had to speak to him one day (he’d delivered a letter that wasn’t only not for our address but not even to anyone in our area), he still didn’t remove his phone from his ear.  He just took the letter, shoved it into his post-bag,  carried on gossiping in his phone and didn’t acknowledge me in any way at all.  You’d have thought I didn’t exist!  I did question if I was perhaps invisible – but Mr. Cobs assured me I was clearly visible, and that  the postman was ignorant and obviously without manners. (telling me!)

Then, after a time, the post office did the thing they do now and again, and swapped all the post men/women around and gave them all new routes.  So we got a new Postman, and he has been amazing.  He’s a thoroughly lovely chap.  Looks out for people and if he hasn’t seen someone for a few days then he’ll check up with neighbours to make sure that Mrs. So and So is ok, or that someone has seen elderly Mr. Xyz.  AND … he puts regular letters in the little post box, but bigger things go in the hidden parcel box to the side of the porch.  Sometimes, if he has time and he knows we’re in, he’ll knock the door and actually bring them to us, have a moments chat etc.

our post box on the front of our cottage, and below it is the metal newspaper/magazine ‘roll’ where they can be stashed until we collect them

However … we’ve had another delivery man this past couple of weeks and he’s been shoving all sorts of things in our little post box – which is designed for letters – not parcels, packages or magazines.  There’s a metal ‘thing’ below the post box for magazines and news papers.  But no, he didn’t use that.  There’s even a parcel box, water-tight with a well-fitting lid, positioned out of the rain and hidden from general view … even with a blackboard by the front door telling a post man/woman where it is but did he use it?  No.  He shoved all manner of things into the post box which really didn’t fit.  Mr. Cobs had the divil of a job getting one thing out because he’d pushed it so far in that it was jammed in there and himself was there huffing and puffing trying to get this item out without damaging whatever was inside it!

THEN … at the start of this weekOUR POSTMAN WAS BACK ON DUTY!  YAYAYAYAY!!!   [doing the happy dance].  Mr. Cobs was in the front garden when Mr. Postman turned up with letters.  Mr. Cobs said he’d never been so glad to see someone as he was at that moment, even telling the Postman that.  The postman said that he’d been on holiday.  Mr. Cobs told him how we’d missed him, what a nightmare the temporary chap had been, and that he wasn’t allowed on any more holidays.  lol.

I knew I loved our postman …  but now I love and appreciate him even more than I did before.  I just hope the post office doesn’t do the change around thing, because we’d all miss him dreadfully in the area where I live.

I learned this week that when you suddenly find yourself singing and humming a song which you used to know all the words of but have forgotten most of them, and actually haven’t heard that song for ages and ages, – I’ve learned that the one thing you really shouldn’t do is go in search of the song on You Tube so that you can listen to the song all over again.

You see … if you do, you won’t be able to STOP SINGING THE  *#&%!+*  SONG after that and, when you’re lying there, in the dark,  it will thoroughly get on your very last nerve at 3am in the morning when you can’t stop the darn thing playing over, and over, and over, ad nauseam inside your head! 

Please … enjoy the song before you go any further in your reading…

I used to sing this song for and to the amusement of our two girls when they were little.  They thought it was funny and would join in, singing in their little girl voices which quickly turned into giggling and falling about laughing.

But many, many years later – with one daughter now in her thirties and the other in her late twenties – that song, although I still love it to the moon and back,  should not be an ear worm and keeping you awake at 3am on any day! (I still love the song, and NO ONE, in my opinion, could ever adequately ever fill the role which Carol Burnett played in the film Annie,  for she was THE best actress for that role).

This week I’ve learned that …  if I  hurry up  just a little, I can take a shower and wash my hair in ten minutes.  Now this upset me because I had guessed that I was doing it in about 6 minutes,  but no.  TEN MINUTES!  Cor, what a waste.  I’ve got to improve on that time.

No, I’m not planning to enter the Shower Olympics in four years time, but I swear that I used to be in and out of the shower in a lot less time than ten minutes, and this really has kind of ‘upset’ me.  Is this more disturbing evidence that I’m growing old and cannot move fast even in the shower?  Hells Bells!  So right now … I’m in Training.  I have to improve my time to shower and wash hair.  I’ll keep you posted.

This week I’ve learned that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER get to that magical, mythical moment of having …  AN EMPTY IN-BOX  on my email account.  I seem to get almost there … just a few more emails to open ….  and the phone rings… by the time I’ve got off the phone 400 new emails have arrived and I’ve got to start all over again.

I don’t visit my email box every day.  I know that statement might make some of you gasp, but … well …. I have better things to do than open that email account up and spend an hour trying to sort through emails.  I visit my emails say, maybe 2 or 3 times a week.  The rest of the time I’m off doing something far more enjoyable which has nothing to do with computers or tinternet.  I don’t ‘do’ Fakebook.  I’ve actually got a Twitter account but I don’t ‘get it’.  What can you say in 140 characters which would be worth reading?

I’m going to the shop.  I’m back from the Shop.  I bought a cake.  I ate my cake…  here, have a picture of an empty plate.  I’m out with friends, having a great time. (Can’t be that great if you’re sending messages to Twitter). No…  I really don’t get the pull of Twitter. I’m just obviously not a Twit.

And finally …  I’ve learned this week, at around 3.30am one morning, when I was trying to go to sleep with an ear worm going round and round my brain,  that if someone with money and know-how doesn’t invent some sort of gadget or machine which will deliver an electric shock to a snoring husband,  the minute they start to snore too loudVERY SOON …  I’ll bally well do it, and I have just the person to test it on as well.

I love him like no one else, to the moon and back a gazillion times plus tax,   but I swear that I won’t tickle him next time to stop him snoring  roaring and rumbling like a lion,  I’ll buy a new bed just for me and put it in the spare room …. along with a lock on the door so that he can’t come and find me.   I’ll just stick a note on the outside of the door saying …  Do Not Disturb.  🙂

I had a trick which worked until four nights ago, when it stopped working.

You can try it if you have a snorer…  Imagine that you’re tut tut tut tutting a cat or a dog by kind of pulling your tongue off the roof of your mouth, quickly, over and over. You can do it softly, or you can do it loudly.  It’s supposed to work with around three tuts.  But I always found it took four or five loudish tuts.  It’s a sound which brings a sleeping snorer just up to the surface (but doesn’t actually wake them up) and stops them snoring.  And it worked brilliantly, but sadly it doesn’t work any longer. 

So … someone better invent the electric shock thing soon.  I swear to dog that they’ll make mega bucks from it.

Well, I’ve learned a lot this week.  phew!

So … what about you?  Have you learned anything that you’d like to share with us all?  Oh … and how long does it take you to shower and wash your hair?  Don’t guess the time, because I did that and was totally wrong.  Time yourself…  then come back and tell me.  We’ll compare notes.

Sending you loving wishes for a wonderful Friday, and hoping that your weekend is filled with peace and love.

Be nice to each other.

Sig coffee copy






Author: The Art of Cobwebs - aka:- thecobweboriumemporium

Hello. I'm 'Cobwebs'. I live in a wee little cottage in the South of England, aptly called Cobweb Cottage. This little dwelling really is a cobweb factory. Not inside (well, occasionally) - but outside - flipping heck! This information should give you a clue as to why my blog is called The Art of Cobwebs aka: The Cobweborium Emporium. I've been arty and crafty from a very young age, and although my crafts have sometimes turned a corner and taken me in another direction, I've always crafted in some way, shape or form. One day, in the blink of an eye, life changed somewhat for me and the consequences were many. I had to find a new way of being 'artistic'. Card making; scrap-booking; producing ATC's and ACEO's; needle felting; Polymer clay; painting- but in a more relaxed style than I had before, and sewing, - are all things which I visit, as and when life allows. I've fairy recently become a Textile Artist and am enjoying this new creative outlet very much as it offers me so much scope for letting my imagination run through a grassy field and feel the wind in my hair - (mentally, of course). I love to create. To make things. I truthfully believe that the best gifts in the world are those in which you've given your time, rather than your cash. Thank you so much for visiting. Please visit my blog (link below) and have a look around. I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy, even if it's only a handful of jokes! (yes, seriously - there really are jokes!) Wishing you a truly blessed rest of your day! ~ Cobs. <3

38 thoughts on “Things I Learned This Week.”

  1. Oh, my, Cobs, you have me doubled over in laughter again! From the postman to the snoring! I have not tried the “tut”…will have to try it. I wonder if a dog training clicker thingy would work? I personally resort to repeating, “you are snoring” in escalating volumes. And then I growl, take my pillows, and retire to the couch in the basement. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Kathy, Happy Friday!
      Ah, the postman. The old one … I wondered many times: if I ever actually took that mobile (cell) phone from him… would he have a strop, or a nervous breakdown? In the end I decided he’d probably do both – at the same time. lol.

      The dog training clicky thing … ooo, I never thought of that. I might try that one and see if it works. If it doesn’t, I suppose I could always try a rolling pin. (noo, not really. only joking). lol

      Thanks for coming and having a coffee with me Kathy. It’s great to see you.
      Sending squidges and squishes, from me in my corner to you in yours.
      ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha! The rolling pin! Personally, the problem with the snoring is that it sends me to the couch, in front a TV, with murder investigation shows on in the wee hours….hmmmm….would that method work for me??? 😉 (truly a joke!) Maybe I need to tell hubby what I watch in the middle of the night when displaced by snoring?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You could suggest how his snoring makes you feel like watching a murder mystery … and see if he pales a little and walks away, mumbling, in a worried sort of way.
          [cackling laugh heard disappearing down the hallway]
          loving the giggles Kathy. ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

        1. Aw, no. That would be cheating, according to the Rules of The Olympic Showering Competition.

          You have to be as you are, without removing hair, in order to take part in the event.

          So no shaving of any moustache or beard either.
          (Obviously that bit applies to the boys …. er … and possibly some girls!)

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s the ticket Beverly! Time yourself. (ok.. a giggling is happening now)
      I honestly did ‘time’ myself. We have a clock on the bathroom wall – something I’ve done since the girls were little – so that I could make them aware of how much time they had left before they went to school – in order to make them get a move on! .. and we all got so used to the clock being in there it stuck with us and we’ve always had one since then. Hence the ‘reason’ I could time myself.

      I looked at the clock as I stepped into the shower … and then as I got out I checked the time again – basically because I was working to a time as we had to go out and time was ticking. … and this is how I came to know it took me ten minutes. tsk tsk.

      Giggling here like I’m in the corridor at school with my friend and we don’t want the teacher to hear what we’re giggling about. LOLOL.

      Love you Bev… you fabulous woman. ~ Cobs. x


  2. I think Kathy may be on to something there! Of course he might just sit up and beg instead….although at least he would be awake!



      I like the way you’re thinking my rascally buddy. Men, sitting up and begging.Aww .. no that really won’t do. I couldn’t be dealing with a begging man at 3am in the morning.

      PPuff Popping Beer Extraordinaire … you and I really should go into business together. We made the beer …. we could go further!

      We should make this cattle prodder ‘snoring partner solver’ (but first we need a better name, obviously duh!) and help our fellow sufferers to end this torment and trauma which we are put through nightly.

      We SHOULD DO IT!
      Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. (Imagine Land of Hope and Glory playing quietly in the background) yes, I think we have a duty here…I can imagine the marketing…Don’t let sleeping dogs lie…something like that…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ohhhhhh YEEERRRSS!
          Marketing TICK
          Name of Machine [still no tick]
          …. suggestions:
          The Cob Prod?
          The Snore Restore?
          TheSnore Chore
          The Snore War
          The Snore Trapdoor.
          The Snorer Abhorer
          The Snore What for!
          The Snore No More!
          I’ve reached the end of my intelligence. I shall have to lie down in a darkened room with help from a cupcake for a while.
          Then I’ll be able to think some more. xx

          Liked by 1 person

          1. SnoozerLoozer? I like Snore War and Snore No More. Think of the K-Tel adverts back in the day…marital harmony restored for only £59.99… Enjoy the cupcake. Your gonna need it because we have work to do!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Cooo, you’re cooking with GAS tonight PP!
              I wonder if that well known shopping channel QVC or even the lesser known: Ideal World, would be interested in our Snore No More! Cattle Prodder Harmony Restorer device, at ONLY £59.99.?

              Cupcake be darned… I threw caution to the wind and had a Magnum (ice cream, sadly not champagne) and now I’m positively buzzing. All those fabulous E numbers. I now know why they shouldn’t be given to children.
              I have a kind of psychedelic happiness land going on inside me right now. LOL

              Right [puts on khaki brown warehouse mans coat, and rubs hands together as per Arkwright of Open All Hours] … where shall we start?


  3. I am so glad my computer is once again working…..I have not laughed this hard during my time away from blogs. From the postman to timing yourself in the shower to the tut tutting…..I had to struggle not to laugh out loud as my husband was watching me. He probably wondered why my face was contorting and there were muffled sounds coming from my lips. Ah well it is good to keep them guessing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh keeping them guessing is a good thing. It’s on par with my personal favourite which is: … introducing Mr.Cobs as “My First Husband”.

      I have no other husband, never have and never will. But … it keeps him on his toes. LOL

      I’m THRILLED TO PIECES to have you back in working order again! I missed you. Thank heavens for computer repair people. Although, handing over the baby (the computer) to someone and leaving it with them is such a wrench! I’ve done it and although I was very grateful for what they (he) did, I felt like I was leaving my much loved and adored dog with them and I wasn’t sure if they were able to care for my dog in the right way! eeek. LOL

      Sending welcome back squidges ~ love ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am going to have to try introducing my husband that way. Can’t wait to see his expression. My guess is that he will give me that odd look, mouth the word, “whaaaat?” , shake his head and walk away muttering under his breath. But then again…..who knows? Sometimes he surprises me!
        It was hard to give them the baby. It was also really hard to give them the password to get into it….kind of like giving them the secret to making the baby love you back.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ohh the ANGUISH! I have no idea how you managed to give up the password … I’m SO … (can we say ‘anal’? eek) about my passwords. So someone asking for it sends me into a deep diving spin!

          (A Create & Craft customer services employee asked me for my password to get into my account there and I was hard pushed to keep a polite conversation going. Needless to say, she didn’t get it, but Head of Customer Services got a stiff email from me about this woman. Not sure if you get Create and Craft in your corner).

          Now you’ve got the baby back…. if you haven’t already done it … change the password!

          Sending you, the baby and the great Mr. Chicken, oodles of squidges and squishes! ~ Cobs. x

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I haven’t tried the’tut’ test for snoring …mostly because I’m having renowned success with ‘ye old elbow to the back’ trick LOL


    1. Yerrrs. “Ye old elbow to the back” trick used to work for me too … but he’s apparently donning some sort of outer shell, which makes him immune to the elbow. (I have wondered if perhaps he’s a Mutant Ninja Turtle during the nightime hours – but the snoring kind of tells me this can’t be so).

      I’ve tried a gentle kick to the back of his calf muscles … but he kicked me back (apparently in his sleep – or so HE says) and that resulted in the old broken second toe of mine, to be re-broken and swollen and bruised.

      Himself reckons that it must have been a “hypnagogic jerk” … and after I’d googled it to find out what the heck that was, I’m not buying it! I personally think it was retaliation. 😉

      I reckon the cattle prod/taser might be the answer.

      . . . If it’s not the answer, at least it will give me some amusement during the hours I’m being kept awake. [grins]
      love ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A taser is the only way to go LOL, I’m trying to convince Beloved I need one for when we go shopping …. to give me a clear run at the chocolate counter

        Liked by 1 person

        1. APPROVE!!! YES! ABSOLUTELY! Why did I not think of this? I’m disappointed with myself that this wonderful idea did not zip itself madly into my brain(cell) when I was thinking about the snore stopper thing! tsk tsk Cobs.
          Sending love to you and yours (and the fabulous Millicent) ~ Cobs. x


              1. The only thing I have learned this week is I talk to myself ….WAY TOO MUCH out loud & in public …still at least folks throw coins at me in the street as they think I’m on day release form the local sanitarium, I’m off to the nearest coffee emporium, I’ve earned enough for a triple espresso with an extra shot of caffeine which I’m sure will help 😀

                Liked by 1 person

                1. CAN I COME WITH YOU?
                  Ooooo coffee… from a store… made especially for me. [singing:] … “Heaven, I’m in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
                  and I seem to find the happiness I seek, … When we’re out together with coffee in our cheeks”


  5. You do make me laugh Cobs. The shower…as long as the water remains warm! lol! I will share one with you. I have learnt not to let husband clean the chimney without making sure he has put dust sheets over everything!! I bet your postman would have used dust sheets 😉
    Hugs Flo x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The first postman, (the one with the phone glued to his face) aw, he would have used white dust sheets as a Fairy Costume and fashioned a halo from pipe cleaners stolen from my craft room.
      The postman we have now – ..yes, he’s definitely a ‘dust sheets to protect the furniture’ sort of guy.

      I’m hoping with every fibre of my body that you took PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE EVIDENCE when Mr. Florence totally forgot to put dust sheets over the world when he cleaned the chimney. PLEEEEEASE say you have photographs. This has to be even funnier than I’m picturing it in my head!
      Squidges and giggles ~ Cobs. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL! I didn’t have time to take any photos. DH had the cheek to say to me “you better get that up as soon as you can before it trodden everywhere”! It is the most vile stuff to mop up. It must have oil in it urrgh! Chair covers have to be washed. Not even thinking about repainting the room…….. It is almost as bad as when he dropped the chip fryer with 3 liters of oil in it. I had to go to bed with the stress!! lol! That was my worst nightmare. Nice postman wouldn’t have done that either 😉
        Hugs Flo xx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Although I smiled I actually ‘felt’ the pain and stress. I really couldn’t have coped with the 3 litres of Oil either. I’ve just looked through to the kitchen and imagined 3 litres of chip fryer oil on the floor…. no … never could have coped. I’d have burst into instant hot tears of frustration and helplessness. I would have no idea where to start getting all that up. Like you, I’d have gone to bed … or church.
          No … nice postman wouldn’t have done it. LOL
          Sending love ~ Cobs. x


  6. Unfortunately Cobs, I suffer with you every single night! Mr Kim can go from eyes open to full throttle in 1.5 secs! Boy goes he let rip, and then he’s says in the morning…’It’s your fault you’re so tired, keeping yourself up all night thinking and worrying!!!!” Apart from the William Tell overture every night, I have parking daymares every morning, and this week was no different, but we had a really, really nasty parent who thinks that it is ok to park across our drive so we can’t get out, leave the car and come back when they’re ready, and when I tell them it’s not, they threaten to send people to my house and call me names I can’t repeat! But, it is another week tomorrow, and another fresh new day, but if you don’t see me posting for more than a few days, might be because I’ve been jolly well arrested for assault! x


    1. Ahhhhh… I can help with the parent. Behind your nets … or from an upstairs window, keep watch for her and make a note of what the child she’s taking into school looks like. M/F .. what bag they’re carrying, hair colour, and if it’s a girl, is her hair tied up with a bow? Pins? Colours of ribbons or flower pins etc… and anything outstanding about the woman herself, again hair colour, coat or jacket etc, so that if you described her to someone they’d get an idea of who you were talking about.

      THEN … you straight away call the head of the school and explain your problem. Tell them that she’s blocking your drive every morning and you cannot leave to go to work. If the school cannot sort her out then the Police absolutely will. She’s threatened you. Tell the police and tell them that they HAVE to take it seriously because of the threats she’s made. Hopefully they will perhaps send a couple of bobbies to just stand outside the properties and ‘directionalise’ parents about parking in front of driveways. Also … see if you can A) get a photograph of her so that they can identify her, and also get her reg.number: and B) if she threatens you again, use your mobile phone to record her threats. Just have your mobile on record and then let the Police hear it. They’ll do something Kim. You cannot carry on like that.

      However .. if you’re planning to move house within the next three years, let her carry on. You’ll not be worried by her soon and you won’t have to say you’ve got any problems associated with the house.
      (I’m also wondering if the Council would put double yellows across the end of your drive, if you pay for them. Then … send a parking attendant along the road during the mornings and afternoons, to earn some money. lol.
      Sending you love and squidges ~ me. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: